Chapter 11: Back to school.

The first month of Hitoshi’s lessons passed uneventfully. Nico and Niki were in charge of his human language lessons.

They made him learn the alphabet and started on simple greetings like Καλημέρα=Good morning, Καλησπέρα=Good evening, Καληνύχτα=Good night, Γεια= Hi, etc, only to move on with grammar, syntax and slightly more elaborate vocabulary later.

Porker also tried to chip in to Hitoshi’s education, but he was deemed unworthy due to his vulgar vocabulary and thus he was quickly dismissed.

Still before being put to the side he had managed to rub in a few words to the Demon General’s head such as Μαλάκας= Asshole, Σκύλα= Bitch, Πούστης=Faggot, Cocksucker, and various others in order for his boss to be ready to counter if such a verbal attack was ever launched against him.

Two months had already passed and the apt pupil was showing great promise. His progress was  quite spectacular. He was deeply motivated and eager to learn. The gift that Harry brought back for him was kept in his desk’s drawer at his room  and was a constant reminder of the reason why he was trying so hard.

Upon waking and before sleeping, he would always hold it in his hands and taking in its sweet fragrance he was ready to face all the hurdles to surpass the linguistic barrier between him and his beautiful priestess.

After those two months he could now talk quite fluently. Although his accent was somewhat heavy, yet that had to be expected as Nico and Niki also spoke the human language with a peculiar accent (imagine Nico short for Nicolas Romanov speaking English with a Russian accent while Niki short for Nicolette Scarlet speaking with a French one).

But even that acquired accent gave Hitoshi a certain allure. The way he was now speaking the human language could remind one of a noble young man who has spent all his life travelling to exotic places.

His senseis pleased with his progress deemed that he was now ready to step into the next class in his curriculum and that was the refined ways of wooing a lady of noble birth.

The four of them, Hitoshi, Nico, Niki, and Harry Porker (due to his 300 years of experience Hitoshi also included the chubby vampire as  his sensei this time) where currently sitting in the living courters of the dungeon.

The fireplace was lit and the table that once housed their game of poker was now filled with books and notes from the human language lesson. Its’ occupants were looking skeptically at their “pupil”, who was looking at them with puppy dog eyes, eager to learn.

“Okay Master I will start with one important question that I believe all of us here would like to be answered as it will determine our course of action and the future lessons you need to learn.” said Harry with his teacher mode on.

“So…Master are you a virgin?” he asked cutting all pretenses and getting straight to the point.

“What?” said Hitoshi bewildered before all blood rushed to his head, painting his scary face red and in a low embarrassed tone answered:

“Yes”

“What was that Master? Speak up I didn’t quite hear it!” said Harry taunting him to repeat his answer even though he clearly heard it the first time.

“I said YES god damn it! I am a virgin! I never had a girlfriend before!”

All of the occupants on the table, simply exclaimed “OH” and started whispering among themselves.

“What? Is it so bad that I have no previous experience? Do you think it will be impossible to teach me anything?” said Hitoshi anxiously thinking he was a lost cause.

“No, no… not at all! Don’t worry Master one way or the other we will teach you something. Now let’s get started! I will point to you some things you absolutely need to make that shitty priestess yours. Grab your notebook, you need to write them down not to forget them.” Porker finally said.

“Ok, I am ready to take notes. Tell me what I need to prepare to make her my wife.” said Hitoshi excitedly while scribbling in his notebook.

“You need a club, some rope and a priest. And before you ask me why, I will tell you. The club is to make her unconscious, the rope is to tie her down and the priest of course is to marry you!” said Harry triumphantly.

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“…..”

“…..”

“…..”

A few moments later Harry was sitting quietly on the table with a black eye and a bump on his head.

“Master don’t mind him, he was messing with you as usual” said Niki.

“ What you really have to learn is the art of cunnilingus. If you are skilled in that then you can make any woman fall in love with you.”

“What is this curry…cunny…cunning lingus? Is it some sort of food? Do I have to learn cooking as well? Well I know that it is indeed very important to win a woman over, because Harry told me that a woman’s heart passes through her stomach. But do you really think we have time for me to learn cooking as well?” asked Hitoshi innocently.

Niki face palmed herself and was ready to answer him when Nico interrupted her

“Mon amour before we teach him how to “please” a lady…. don’t you think he first needs to learn how to “crawl” before he learns how to “walk”? We need to teach him how to properly woo a lady before he goes “down” on her!”

“You are right mon cher.” said Niki amorously to her husband, before adding:

“You teach him how to properly speak to a lady, while I go fetch some oysters to later teach him how to go down on the priestess. I wish we had more time so you could also take him to a red light district. But ,alas, we don’t have much time.”

Hitoshi was looking at them talking. It all sounded Chinese to him, but one thing he understood was that Nico was to take on teaching him while Niki would go and fetch some seafood for them to eat later. Such a nice couple!

Nico sent his wife off with a long deep wet kiss. After that he returned back to the task of teaching Hitoshi, who had pink cheeks from watching the loving display of the incubus-succubus couple.

Nico coughed a bit to get him down to earth before starting:

“So, Master when addressing a lady one should always be polite. Don’t be stingy with compliments. Bathe her in them! Tell her how beautiful she is, how her dress matches her eyes, how her eyes remind you of a wild tempest cooling off the fire in your heart and shit like that. But never, ever tell her that she looks fat. Even if she asks you “Darling did I put on weight?” and even if it’s true that she did, you should lie your ass off. Women may demand honesty, but let me tell you… the truth should be always sugar coated when served to them!”

“When a woman talks to you, you should always be listening. Even if the topic is boring, just nod your head in acknowledgement and pretend as though it’s the most interesting thing you ever heard.  Even if you were not really paying attention to any of the things she said just nod your head and agree to everything. The golden rule is  “The woman is always right!”

“ Don’t forget her birthday or any sort of anniversary such as your first kiss, first date, hell first everything! Don’t forget to buy her a gift as well. Even though she says she doesn’t need it, she will get mad at you if you go to any of your anniversaries empty handed.”

“Don’t be late on your dates with her. Always be at your place of meeting at least 15 minutes earlier than her and even if she’s late and asks you if you were waiting long just lie and say not at all.”

“You have to always open doors for her and pull chairs so she can sit. Never sit on the table before her and don’t you dare order food without consulting her. If she’s on a diet be careful what and how you eat in front of her. Don’t pig out!”

Hitoshi thought his brain was going to explode. He had so many things to remember, so many do’s and dont’s !

But one glance each night after his lessons at the red thong and he was revitalized to continue to persevere.

As such, finally the day that the heroes arrived once more to the dungeon came.

He was alerted of their arrival and once more he and Porker took their positions at the grand hall waiting to greet them.