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A Lonely God
33- Loneliness

33- Loneliness

For the vast majority of history, humanity has labored under the chains of impossibility. Some things are simply not possible with mere human flesh. Or they should be. Some people are limitless, unchained. I am proud to count myself among them. For us reality, the set of rules and patterns that define possibility, are mere suggestions. It’s a fragile thing, prone to changing under the force of our wills. Jausn an Erduk was the first of us, and it was his presence that opened the doors to the deep void. Space became yet another place for us to expand into. Yet for all our power, all our perfection, we are denied by one flaw. The peak suffers no competition. We are alone in our brilliance. Utterly alone.

Jausn was seven when he broke his first world record.

He was playing the drums in his 2nd-grade music class, nodding his head to the music when an idea occurred to him.

What if he drummed faster?

So he drummed faster.

What if he went even faster?

So he went faster.

Even faster?

The entire class was watching in shocked silence as a 7-year-old broke the world record for the fastest drummer.

It was not a remarkable experience for Jausn, merely one of many. As casual as taking a step is to a normal person.

As casual as creation is to a god.

Meaningless.

—-----------------------------------------

Of course that was only the beginning. Brilliance like his could not be concealed. No matter where he was, he shone like a naked star.

A cold night found Jausn studying. Pages turned at near-inhuman speed as Jausn memorized their contents with a glance. It continued for hours, the massive stack of books in front of him shrinking as the one behind him grew.

Eventually, he looked up and only two emotions could be seen in his azure eyes.

Boredom and loneliness.

—---------------------------------------

“Why am I different?” 9-year-old Jausn asked his parents at the dinner table.

“Different? What do you mean?” questioned his father John an Erduk.

John was a noble man, an Erduk through and through.

But he was not equipped to raise one of the Limitless.

It didn’t stop him from trying.

“You’re special, son. As for why? I don’t know. But does it really matter? You are my son.”

Jausn paused for a second,

“How do I stop being special?”

John tilted his head,

“Why would you want to stop being special?”

Jausn shrugged,

“Being special is boring. I’m all alone. I don't want to be alone.”

Jausn’s mom, Erika, gave John a look,

“Honey, It’s time.”

John sighed,

“I suppose it is.”

Then turning to Jausn he continued,

“We’re going to send you away. To a place with more special people. A place where you can hopefully find peers.”

They had not yet realized he had no peers.

Jausn gave his father a confused look,

“How will we afford it?” he questioned, sweeping gaze around their small cozy house.

John laughed,

“Our family is ancient. We live here because we wanted to raise you humbly. How do you think we afforded all your books?”

“Is that how you keep avoiding taxes?”

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

John froze, a guilty look creeping across his face,

“You read the tax reports?”

Jausn nodded.

John coughed.

“A toast!” he deflected, “To Jausn’s glorious future!”

—-----------------------------------------------

For two glorious years, Jausn was content. His parents had managed to enroll him in one of the most prestigious universities in the world, Jazarin University.

How it had heartened me to see his legacy preserved even then.

There, surrounded by the greatest minds and bodies of humanity, Jausn had fun for the first time in his short life. The work was still easy but it was no longer boring.

For two glorious years, he learned everything he possibly could, attended every lecture he possibly could, and took every test he could get his hands on.

But soon, it became apparent that even there he was alone.

—----------------------------------------

The headmaster of Staren University, massaged his temples and muttered under his breath,

“What are we going to do with you?”

He opened his eyes and glared at Jausn,

“How many times do we need to tell you not to hack our system?! We have told you a thousand times, there is not a secret society of geniuses hiding somewhere over the campus.”

11-year-old Jausn glared back,

“Then where are they? And what is the cavern I discovered under the University?”

The headmaster sighed,

“They don't exist, boy. They don’t exist. You are, quite frankly, a monster. The papers you write are literally extending beyond human comprehension.”

“Not to the other geniuses!” Jausn snapped back.

“No. Even to the geniuses.”

“Aha! So you admit they exist!”

“No, boy. Listen. You’re not a genius. Everybody else on this campus is a genius. I don’t know what you are. But I do know one thing. There are no others” he air quoted, “You are alone.”

“Then what's that cavern?” Jausn replied angrily.

“Oh, Jazarin help me” the headmaster mumbled, “how can one person be so stupid and so brilliant at the same time.”

Turning to address Jausn, he continued,

“It's a storage area. You’re welcome to take a look. Maybe you’ll find something interesting.”

Jausn glared at him.

“What do you want, boy!” the headmaster exclaimed, “Hasn't your hacking revealed this place's every secret?”

“Not where the ge…”

“Stop right there,” the headmaster commanded, holding out a hand, “There is nobody like you. I cannot stress that enough. Now, Jared will guide you to the storage to see if you can find anything interesting.

Jausn opened his mouth only to be interrupted once more.

“Say one more thing and I call your parents.”

Jausn left the room fuming.

He didn't find anything interesting in the storage bay.

—-----------------------------------------------

Slowly but surely life in the university was slipping back into the boring, lonely stretch of hell life had used to be. Fewer and Fewer people were able to keep up with Jausn even as he made sure to split his focus between dozens of subjects.

One day, a knock on his door snapped him out of the project he was working on. He opened the door to find his parents.

“Hi, Mom. Dad. What a…”

“Happy twelfth birthday!” they chorused, wrapping him in a tight hug.

Jausn was confused for a second before remembering the date. It was his birthday.

“You forgot again, didn’t you?” Erika teased.

Jausn’s frantic denials had no effect.

“So,” John interjected, “how are you, son?”

Jausn thought back to the headmaster's words a few months ago.

“There is nobody like you.”

It was too much.

I’ve always found children's fixation on intelligence fascinating. They seem unaware that it is in fact a double-edged sword. When you’re smart, people tend to forget you’re a kid. It’s a pity to lose one's childhood so early. Sometimes kids just need to be kids.

To Jausn’s horror, he found himself sobbing.

His parents, understandably horrified, quickly set to reassuring him.

Jausn found himself wrapped in a cocoon of warm hugs and quiet nonsense.

Finally, seeing he had calmed down enough, John asked,

“What’s wrong son? Is it too much?”

Jausn shook his head.

“Then what's wrong?”

Jausn hiccupped,

“It's happening again” he muttered.

“What’s happening?” Erika interjected.

“They can’t keep up. They just can’t. I try to drag them behind me, but they just don’t understand.”

He hiccupped again.

Erika and John shared a look.

“Why don't you tell us about it, son” John said.

So, Jausn did. It poured out of him like water out of an overflowing pitcher. An overwhelming flood of emotion and frustration. He told them about the exaltation of the first two years, the joy of knowing people here knew things he didn't. The joy of learning those things. The joy of matching wits with peers. Then the slow horror of running out of things to study. The gradual loss of all his peers as he pulled further and further ahead. The dawning realization that he was alone once more.

By the end, he was sobbing once more, and once more his parents calmed him down.

“It’s ok, son. It’s ok” John said.

“It will be alright,” Erika added.

“What…What if I'm always alone?” Jausn whispered, “What if I never find peers? What if I live my life alone? I don't want to be alone.”

“You won't be,” Erika reassured him, “You will find your people eventually, and even if you don't, we will always be here.”

Jausn nodded uncertainty.

“Why don't we take a break?”John suggested, “From academics I mean. Give everybody here a few years to process everything you’ve written. Try something else.”

Jausn nodded, then asked,

“Try what?”

“How about sports?” Erika interjected.

“Hmm. ok.”

“It’ll be alright, Jausn.”

Jausn looked up at his parents,

“I love you, guys”

“Love you too, son”

“As do I.”

They left the university the next morning.