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A Lonely God
16 - Angelica

16 - Angelica

My ancestor was boundless. From the beginning she could not be contained. In everything she did the full force of her essence supported her. Most beings are composed of two parts. The soul and the body. But she was only one. The soul made body. She was as true to herself as could possibly be. Pure in her every action, for in every action, all she knew was the action. Simplicity to the point of infinity. Maybe that's why God himself fell for her.

I felt her birth. Like a lightning bolt to the head. The birth of being more akin to me than any other. I watched the messenger rush through the Cunabla’s burning streets with her in his arms, struggling to keep the king's youngest daughter from those that desired his throne.

In that moment, I forgot about the shattered kingdom of man.

Forgot about the warring city-states.

All that mattered was the creation of that nascent soul. She was beautiful. Essence manifested physically, not mearley contained in a physical vessel.

For mortals, gazing upon her would be painful. The light of the soul would sear their eyes and break their minds. For me it was beautiful, like the first rays of the incoming sunrise. An indicator of what was to come. She was born in a small town tucked into the mountains, a refuge for those fleeing the many wars that had erupted upon Charles’ failure to hold together his fathers kingdom.

There she grew up. At first the town was wary of the angelic child. Hardly any effort on her part won them over. A single toss of her golden hair, and a teary blink of her azure eyes and they melted before her. She was radiant in a way indescribable by mortal words. Sincere beyond mortality. Honest to fault. Kindness far past reason. And beautiful beyond imagination. She was loved by that small town.

And they named her. Angelica an Erduk.

As she grew older, the young man of the village began to seek her hand in love, showering her with flowers and gifts. She welcomed them with open arms, and a simple smile was enough to make them forget their original purpose for approaching her. I will admit, I may have grown jealous watching them, though at the time i’m not sure if I could understand such subtle emotions.

Still, I assumed a mortal form and appeared before the small cabin she lived alone in. She invited me inside. There were a thousand things I wanted to ask her at that moment, a thousand secrets I wanted to reveal to her, but in the end, one trumped them all.

“How are you so true?”

She was surprised. “What?”

“How are you so true?” I repeated, struggling to articulate my meaning through the flawed vessel of human language with a frown. I quickly gave up, and reached out to her with a tendril of pure meaning, trusting her body-soul gestalt to handle the burden of such intimate communication.

In simple words, I asked her of her purity. Of how she seemed so untainted by the profanity of the mortal world. Of how she could focus the entirety of her effort into a single task, unlike my own diffuse essence.

She smiled, a blossoming of flowers.“I just am. What else could I be?”

I spent days with her. Talking and teaching and learning. She seemed as fascinated with me as I was with her. Eventually, she asked, “Who are you? I’ve never met anyone like you.”

A name. I never had a name before. Once more, something brushed at the edges of my memory, gone before I could even think to turn to it. I bit back my frustration, and thought about how to introduce myself. This was unlike my other forays in the mortal world, and I suspected that she alone could see me as I truly was. But I didn't know how to communicate the truth of what I was.

In the end, words failed me, and I reached out with my essence once more.

To my surprise, she didn’t even flinch upon feeling my essence, an achievement which only confirmed my suspicions.

She was not like the others.

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“You… you created all this?” she asked curiously, vaguely gesturing to the air.

“Yes.”

Her azure eyes shone as she leaned forward, nearly touching her tanned nose to my brown one. “How?” she asked excitedly.

I told her. Of my awakening in the void. Of self-creation in the forge of infinity. Of the light I had summoned. Of the order I had created, and the chaos I had broken it with. I spoke of the slow process of perfecting my creation, of weaving laws, and creating matter to follow them.

We talked for hours as I explained the intricacies of law-weaving and creation. She was a good listener. No, she was the best listener.

She threw the entirety of her towering mind and soul into listening to me, hanging onto my every word as if it was the secret to life itself. I could feel myself falling in love even as we talked, the sense of loneliness receding in her warm light. I felt seen in a way I had never been before, and without my conscious intervention, more and more slipped out of me, the story shifting away from mere words into deeper mediums of communication.

Without even intending to, I began to express my growing loneliness, then forlorn awareness that there would be nobody to see what I had made. New emotions sprang to the forefront of my mind as I communicated, brought into the light by her soft glow.

I was snapped out of my trance by a warmth pressing against my forehead and spun gold brushing against my cheeks. My eyes refocused to see Angelica's tear filled azure eyes holding my own. WIth a start, I realized that my own eyes had long since been filled with quiet tears.

She sobbed softly as she pressed her forehead to mine harder, and wrapped her arms around me, empathizing with me in a way I had never even imagined. I looked at her in wonder, my own pain forgotten in her beauty.

Slowly, she pulled away, hiccuping as she lifted her eyes to mine. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Sorry that you have been alone all these eons. Sorry that there was no one to gaze upon your creation.” She paused. “I am here now. And I would love to see what you have wrought.”

I fell in love even as I stared at her, watching her sorrow instantly shift into fierce determination, pivoting the entity of her essence as easily as breathing.

She was beautiful.

I stood up and held out a hand to her.

“May I have this dance?”

She seized the hand with fierce resolve.

Slowly but surely I began that dance with her. We swayed around the room, adjusting to each other. I let Shiva’s ethereal music flow through the room, honoring her path, even in her death, and led Angelica through a few slow dances. She quickly threw herself into the dance with the full force of her very essence, the force of her uncheck passion warping the world around her. Any other being would have been overwhelmed by her sheer force.

But not me.

I only danced faster, guiding her through increasingly intricate steps. She matched me and even began to add her own steps. I felt a smile beginning to show at the pure joy on her face. That purity that I admired. As the dance reached a crescendo, I Stepped.

Then we were dancing atop the countless blue waves of the sea. Angelica almost stumbled, azure eyes flashing in surprise, before recovering and dancing only harder.

Step.

We danced above a mighty city laughing as its citizens cried out in shock.

Step.

We danced far above the earth, stepping on space itself as the planet loomed below us.

Step.

The sun's brilliant plasma shone as bright as it could, but still she was brighter.

Step.

A river of stars stretched out below us and we skated through it, weaving to the rhythm of the unseen song.

Step.

A singularity flashed by.

Step.

The corpse of a star-eating giant was trampled underfoot.

Step.

The clouds of the undying nebula whirled past.

Step.

We danced above the universe itself. The entirety of existence stretched out beneath us. I began to shed the mortal form I had taken. In its place I physically manifested portions of my soul. Just like her. She either didn't notice or didnt care, and only danced all the harder. Soon the entirety of my soul was physically manifested. Reality shook and I had to exert conscious effort to keep the space together,

But Angelica just kept dancing in step to the rhythm of creation itself.

I danced with her, reveling in the feeling of truly being with someone in their entirety. Reveling in her truth. The music picked up, reaching for the peak of possibility. Azure eyes flashed and golden hair swayed. A man shaped hole to infinity joined in the abstract movements. Together they wove together in intricate motions, weaving their souls together. The last note echoed through the void. The last drumbeat vibrated through nothing.

My lips met hers and two souls became one.

The power of God.

The one-sided focus of Purity.

Purity and power joined and something new was created.