September 11, 2172 (8 YEARS EARLIER)
Pueblo, Colorado
Mrs. Renée Wami would tell anyone that South Park Elementary always had a breakfast club.
Not a literal one; funding a literal one was a satanic ritual apparently. Feeding children a proper breakfast was for liberals too probably.
Was mentioning that a word was literal not worth mentioning anymore?
Definitions were as interchangeable as pieces of jewerly. Have you selected your awfully convenient daily definitions with your work outfit for today? Feel free to change them when necessary mortal. Factual definitions were for gays apparently.
I LOVE FLIPPING AROUND MY FACTUAL PUSSYCAT WIG.
The final breakfast club from South Park Elementary, supervised by Mrs. Renée Wami, consisted of Iker, Bastian, Fatima Tagore, and Camilo. These four kids could not avoid detention even if their hour at the Pueblo's virtualtop arcade depended on it. It was named Candyland, and it was the place to be if one wanted to be popular. Both at school and online.
Candyland also treated truth like a fashion catalogue. The public was told that these absurd ass virtual worlds were uploaded to the internet, but that was actual fake news. The simulations may not be so virtual, but neither is the one made up of tetrahedrons and quarks apparently. Was it all virtual or was it all reality? The earthplexus was a holy grail that needed to be kept secret after all, and they definitely could not let the global Byzian crime syndicate know about the Prunus Tantulum tree they had on the rooftop. The CEO stole the technology from either a sequel solarpunk simulation or location that was far far away.
See, the reason it was on the rooftop was because the Sentiennica Corporation wanted to hide it right in front of Byzian surveillance.. a 3D candy cane tree logo that used holographic optical illusions.
The concept of 0 or 1 reared its cosmic hand in the sky, in charge of typing prompts for the narrator session number nineteen. The limb's units were composed of hexadecimal code and algorithms. It was not visible in the clip to anyone inside the simulation, not even a Felix like Renée Wami.
However, Renée could sense that little fucker.
Mrs. Renée Wami, again, allowed Camilo to play Memoryfeed's viral clip that landed him and his friends in detention on his Sentiennica Cluster. She got confirmation that Dominic and Gabe made it home, so she took a deep breath and sighed in relief. Now that she could relax, she pulled to the front of her collarbone her loose ponytail that sectioned her hair into neat rows of voluminous dreadlocks, and leaned on the back of her stationary wheeled chair.
The chair only had two wheels and her black ass was not going to drag it nor the 300 dismissed students for the whole school year.
Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
Yes, 300 children in one classroom.
Renée knew this was beyond even madness, so she allowed herself to smile even though Camilo was about to play the clip for the umpteenth time.
Do these shit stirrers ever get tired of repetition? Renée asked herself, with love, as she observed the huddled children in the front row. Cracks of the neon circle in the smoggy sky illuminated the lolclassroom as she squinted to observe the hologram in their hands.
First, Iker had the nerve to make a cinematic panning shot with his recently gifted medical drone RNGesus. The dramatic view of the school had the filter of a blockbuster coming of age movie as it captured a brick falling off one of the walls that could still be considered a wall. Actually... let's not call it a wall anymore.
One would think the drone would have to fly into the school doors, but silly mortal, there was no roof either. Moldy miasmic tiles and unwalkable levels were above the classroom in detention.
That ain't no roof.
"Welcome to the American Nightmare. Made possible by liberals and centrists, and then brought to you by both doomerism and naiveness," the narrator on Camilo's phone had declared. "Thanks Comsa."
"Thank you so very much," the four children had whispered for the clip as RNGesus had brought Camilo's phone camera closer to the lolclassroom.
Then the phone played a song. It was Hip Opera's global sensation Calinthe, originally from Mauritius. Her hit single that was playing was called I TRIGGER, THEREFORE I AM.
It was a masterpiece. English cannon even.
🎶I TRIGGER, THEREFORE I AM🎶
🎶FRANKLY MY DEAR, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN🎶
Iker was already duckwalking on his desk while Bastian was uprocking on his. Thankfully they were only six years old, being any older would have made the desks collapse in an instant. They had been dancing on the middle desks. After all, the front row, the shattered window row, and the back row was too mainstream.
And... there was no way. Was Fatima about to do the unthinkable as she marched towards Mrs. Wami's deadpan face? How dare she? She already had a hand rested on the brim of her onyx hijab by her collarbone.
As Renée rolled her eyes and the second chorus of I Trigger, Therefore I Am hit a crescendo, the way Fatima spun while pulling apart the bottom of her hijab was sublime. She made the black hijab look like a growing rose in fast motion, blossoming to reveal a fierce black ponytail whipping to the rhythm. Even though there was ruckus was all around her, the majority of the 300 students gasped at what she had done.
"Relax!" Fatima had assured as she leaped on the desk beside Bastian's uprocking. "I don't have to keep it on until I am fifteen-years-old."
"Why my desk though?" Camilo had asked behind his phone.
And in response to that, just like how Iker, Camilo, and Bastian always did the opposite of what they were told to do, she had whipped her hair into Camilo's face and shablamed.
All four legs of the desk had popped right out and she had landed into a cloud of dust on top of the loldesk. It was epic and hilarious as Fatima had laughed with the 300 children Renée was unironically expected to supervise.
Even Camilo could not stay mad as he had chuckled with Mrs. Wami.
"Are you hurt?" Renée had asked, standing up halfway from her seat. Fucking Christ, my knees have to be double my actual age.
"No?" Fatima had asked back, causing some giggles.
"Well, keep doing it. I am sure it is a safe thing to do," Renée had replied.
White uppity conservatives would probably need to be made aware that she was being sarcastic. Eternal damnation awaited.
As the clip ended, the children were hoping to get engagement from all the offensive actions committed.
However, even without showing up in the video this time, all the comments were talking about was Camilo.
This was the clip that changed Camilo's life forever, and Renée's plan to defeat 0 or 1.
She was the queen of playing stupid.