Impulse walks behind the crowd of the beauty pageant.
Impulse: (Man, there are no seats left! I wanna watch that hottie win this pageant!)
Impulse notices the three judges are Alden, Demetri, and Isaiah.
Impulse: (Huh? What are those guys doing up there? They aren’t beautiful…)
Madame Mummy: Judges, take your seats.
Demetri: Gladly.
Alden, Demetri, and Isaiah take their seats at the judges’ desks.
Madame Mummy: Now, because this competition involves some very competitive and powerful ladies, we will have some added safety measures for our judges.
A steel cage rises from the ground to surround the judges’ desk.
Madame Mummy: If you feel this is unnecessary, judges, we can lower the-
Isaiah: This is fine.
Demetri: We’re happy.
Alden: I’m good with it.
Madame Mummy stares at the three boys.
Madame Mummy: (If they think this will end in anything other than a beatdown… well, I admire their tenacity.) This competition is simple. We have 12 lovely girls competing for two prizes. First, they can choose whichever dorm they want their class to live in next year, and second, bragging rights. Each contestant will say their name and tell us a little about themselves. The judges will then be able to each ask a question of the contestant. After all of this, the judges will score the girls each on a scale of 0-10. The six girls with the highest scores will advance to round two. If the judges are ready, we’ll start the pageant.
The crowd cheers.
Alden: Can we start with the bikini round?
Madame Mummy: There is no bikini round.
The entire crowd groans.
Madame Mummy: (Why are we even having this competition…) Alright, we’ll start with the contestants from General Studies.
Impulse looks bored.
Impulse: (Oh, come on! They’re not even starting with the chicks from Hayze’s class?)
Impulse speeds off.
Impulse: (I gotta find a way to entertain myself for a while then.)
Eve and Blair look pissed backstage.
Eve: I can’t believe those vermin actually are judging this thing! They will give us terrible scores, so we’ll have a shitty dorm!
Blair: When I get my hands on them!
Ash: Guys… calm down. Sure, they’re annoying, but at least they’re our classmates! They know we’ll see them again in school, so they wouldn’t be dumb enough to judge us unfairly.
This calms Eve and Blair down.
Eve: That’s fair.
Blair: Yeah, they’re stupid, but they’re not that stupid.
Lilith: Plus, they’ve been trying to cut down on their perverted stuff! I’m sure they will be a lot nicer than the professional judges!
Karma: I heard they had a “lovenasium” booth.
Lilith: I said they were trying…
Ash: I think we’re all going to do great, guys! Let’s just sit back and watch how girls’ general studies do, okay?
All the girls besides Saige: Right!
Saige: (This will be… hilarious.)
The competitors from General Studies walk out to the center stage and get judged one by one. The first girl scores 6, the second 5, and the third 4. Lilith and Ash look horrified, and Eve and Blair are sharpening their nails.
Madame Mummy: Well… that was depressing… I guess we’ll have Hero Course Class 2-B come up next. First, Sydney Bowers.
Sydney comes out with her arms folded, visibly unhappy as she reaches center stage.
Sydney: (I can’t believe these creeps are the judges! They better give me a good score, or I’ll destroy them!)
Isaiah and Demetri start snickering.
Sydney: What’s that about?
Demetri: Oh, nothing…
Isaiah: Just reminiscing about that time we beat you in a fight.
Sydney turns red.
Sydney: THAT WAS A FLUKE!
The crowd looks scared.
Madame Mummy: Ahem.
Sydney: *clear throats* My name is Sydney Bowers. I’m a hero course student in the prestigious class 2-B. My favorite things to do are crush my opponents, be treated like a princess, and go to the beach. I also enjoy stepping on the weak, but that hasn’t cracked my top three… yet.
The crowd goes nuts.
Sydney: (God, all men are pigs…)
Alden rubs his chin.
Alden: Sydney, right?
Sydney: It’s been said twice.
Alden: I can’t help but notice you haven’t smiled since you walked out here. How about you give us a smile?
Sydney: One.
Alden: One what? Smile?
Sydney: No, I’m counting how many dead bodies are in front of me.
Alden: That doesn’t seem like a smile.
Sydney’s eyes narrow.
Isaiah: Sydney, right?
Sydney: We’ve met!
Isaiah: You say you like to crush your opponents.
Sydney: Don’t say it.
Isaiah: Could you please point out any members of the judging panel you’ve been defeated by in a battle.
Sydney: Two.
Isaiah: Two of the judges? That’s great! Which ones?
Sydney: I’m still counting.
Isaiah gulps.
Demetri: Sydney, right?
Sydney: You better hope I never see you again in my life.
Demetri: How many staplers do you think you could fit in your mouth?
Sydney: Three.
Demetri: Wow! That’s a lot!
Sydney: Yeah… of carnage.
Alden, Demetri, and Isaiah shiver.
Madame Mummy: Well, that was disturbing… Judges, give us your scores for Sydney.
Alden holds up a 2, Isaiah holds up a 1, and Demetri holds up a 1.
Madame Mummy: And Sydney has scored a four!
Sydney: WHAT! YOU GAVE ME A 4?
Alden: Hostility can sometimes be hot.
Isaiah: But your hostility is… well…
Demetri: It feels like it’s directed at us.
Sydney: IT IS YOU FUCKING PERVERTS!
Sydney goes to use Tsunami Cannon, but Madame Mummy wraps her up with her bandages.
Madame Mummy: Moving on to our next contestant, Verity Larson.
Sydney: *muffled* Wait! But I’m not-
Sydney gets ripped off stage. Verity walks out and takes center stage.
Verity: My name is Verity.
Crickets.
Isaiah: Do you mind elaborating? Like… who are you competing for?
Verity: I’m doing this for a special someone handcuffed to a chair in the audience.
The crowd members start checking their wrists for handcuffs and are disappointed to find none. Meanwhile, Wes has both of his arms handcuffed to his chair.
Wes: (WHY ME?)
Demetri: Well… we can’t score you on just your name and motivation. Tell us about yourself.
Verity: How about instead I tell everyone about you all.
Verity’s eyes glimmer.
Demetri: No, that’s fine.
Isaiah: I’m ready to score.
Alden: Yup, me too.
Madame Mummy: Alright judges, show us your scores for Verity.
Alden holds up a 10, Isaiah holds up a 10, and Demetri holds up a 10. The crowd cheers for Verity as Wes fears for his life.
Madame Mummy: Verity scores a perfect 30. Good job… I’ll just pretend to not notice you threatened the judges.
Verity: Thank you all. If I win this beauty pageant, I will use the prize money to go on a lovely date with someone special.
Madame Mummy: There is no prize money.
Verity: Well, eating candy from a vending machine together will have to do.
Verity heads backstage.
Madame Mummy: Alright, we’ll move to the Support Course, with only one competitor.
Alden: Support course?
Isaiah: Those girls don’t seem like the pageant type to me…
Demetri: Maybe she’ll be the cute nerdy type!
The three boys all fawn.
Madame Mummy: Next up, Tara Blackwell.
Alden, Demetri, and Isaiah start screaming. Then, Tara comes running out on stage.
Tara: Did you guys miss me!
They all instantly hold up 0s.
Madame Mummy: She didn’t even introduce herself.
Tara: Oh, come on! That’s the thanks I get for making you guys cream your-
They all start screaming louder to drown out Tara’s words.
Madame Mummy: Well… this is going about as well as could be expected.
Tara starts laughing.
Tara: Oh, it’s okay. I found out these three were judging and decided I’d mess with them! I’m pretty committed, too. I even put on panties for this!
The crowd gets pissed and starts throwing trash at the judges.
Alden: SHE IS NOT WHAT SHE SEEMS!
Isaiah: SHE’S A MONSTER!
Demetri: THE ULTIMATE VENUS FLY TRAP!
Tara walks off.
Madame Mummy: Well… we only have one class left. Hero Course Class 2-A. We’ll start with Karma Montgomery.
Karma walks out.
Karma: (This is nerve-wracking.)
The crowd cheers for Karma as she reaches the center stage.
Karma: I’m uh… Karma, I like running and uh… sports?
The crowd starts nodding in agreement.
Alden: First of all, Karma, how tall are you?
Karma: 5’11.
The crowd gets excited.
Isaiah: Why did you reject me?
Karma: Uh…
The crowd looks confused.
Isaiah: *tears rolling down face* WHY DID YOU REJECT ME?
Karma: Isaiah, I’m attracted to you the same way I’m attracted to women. I’m heterosexual.
The crowd likes Karma’s sick burn as Isaiah bangs his head against the desk.
Demetri: Uh… say there was a bug on the ground that you wanted to kill. Could you show us how you’d go about that?
Karma: Um… okay?
Karma forcefully stomps her left heel against the ground. Demetri gets hot under the collar, as do a good portion of the crowd.
Karma: Like that.
Demetri: Okay… okay… I think I’m ready to score.
Alden holds up a 7, Isaiah holds up a 1, and Demetri holds up a 9.
Madame Mummy: 17.
Karma: That’s respectable, although I think one of the judges was biased...
Demetri rubs Isaiah’s back while he has his face buried in the desk.
Demetri: There, there. She rejected me too, you know?
Isaiah: *muffled* Yeah, but I’m cuter.
Demetri slaps Isaiah on the back.
Demetri: Wrong!
Madame Mummy just looks disappointed. Karma heads backstage.
Madame Mummy: Now for Ashley Wright.
Ash comes out. Alden goes nuts.
Alden: MY MAIDEN! SHE HAS ARRIVED!
Ash: (Don’t make eye contact…)
Alden: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
Ash: (He’ll tire out eventually…)
Alden: YOUR TITS LOOK AMAZING IN THAT DRESS!
Ash: QUIET DOWN, YOU BEHEMOTH!
The crowd gasps.
Ash: (Uh oh…)
The crowd starts cheering.
Ash: (Oh, that’s right, nobody likes Alden.)
Alden is already holding up a 10.
Madame Mummy: (We probably should have just canceled this when the judges couldn’t make it.)
Ash reaches center stage.
Ash: My name is Ash, and I hate Alden Taillon!
The crowd goes fucking nuts. A single tear rolls down Alden’s eye, but his smile persists.
Madame Mummy: Since our first judge has already scored, we’ll move on to our second for a question.
Isaiah is still crying.
Madame Mummy: *sighs* Since our second judge is sobbing, we’ll move on to our third for a question.
Demetri: Uh… oh! I have an idea!
Demetri pulls out two pictures, one is of him flexing shirtless, and the other is of Justus sneezing.
Demetri: Which of these two people is hotter?
Ash: Justus.
Demetri throws Justus’ picture away.
Demetri: How about now?
Ash: There’s only one picture.
Demetri: ANSWER THE QUESTION!
Ash: Why do you have a picture of Justus sneezing?
Demetri: I’M THE ONE ASKING THE QUESTIONS HERE!
Madame Mummy: That’s right, and you only get one. It’s time to score.
Demetri: *sighs* Fine…
Isaiah holds up a 5, and Demetri holds up a 6.
Madame Mummy: 21. That puts you in second place behind Verity.
Ash: Yay!
Ash walks backstage.
Madame Mummy: Alright, next we have Lilith Weber.
Lilith walks out. The crowd is in awe of her innocent cuteness.
Lilith: (Oh my god! Do they like me?)
Lilith reaches center stage.
Lilith: My name is Lilith. I love making friends and petting small animals. I aspire to be a rescue hero someday, so fighting isn’t my strong suit. I know guys like tough girls, but… I try…
The crowd cheers for Lilith.
U.A. Student 1: SHE’S SO CUTE!
U.A. Student 2: GIVE HER 10s, YOU BASTARD JUDGES!
Demetri pukes. Alden looks disgusted. Isaiah finally finishes crying, only to look at Lilith and puke.
Lilith: Uh...
Alden: What kind of dress is that?
Demetri: It looks disgusting!
Isaiah: Did you even try?
Lilith: It’s uh… it’s baby blue. I just grabbed one off the rack, and I-
Alden: It’s awful!
Demetri: I can’t keep looking at it! Get off the stage!
Isaiah: Please… I think I’m gonna-
Isaiah pukes again. Lilith starts crying and runs off stage.
Crowd: NOOOOO! LILITH, COME BACK!
They start hucking trash at the judges again.
Alden: It’s not our fault beauty is a craft!
Demetri: You have to put the effort in if you’re going to succeed!
Isaiah: For shame, Lilith.
Eve comes running out pissed off.
Madame Mummy: I guess Eve Avery is next…
Eve: I’ll KILL YOU, YOU SONS OF BITCHES!
Madame Mummy restrains Eve.
Madame Mummy: Save it for the parking lot, Ms. Avery.
Eve: THOSE BASTARDS!
Madame Mummy: Are you going to calm down and compete or not… It's starting to look like one of the contestants with a single-digit score will advance.
Eve: *sighs* Fine…
Madame Mummy releases Eve. The crowd gasps.
Eve: What?
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Everyone is staring at Eve’s chest.
Eve: … I’m just going to take the compliment… My name is Eve, and starting at the end of this sentence, if I catch any of you staring at my chest, I’ll magnetize your mouth to your ass.
Everyone looks away and starts whistling.
Eve: That’s what I thought.
Alden: So… Eve…
Eve: If you don’t give me at least a seven, you’re going to start breathing through a tube.
Alden holds up a 7, Isaiah holds up a 7, and Demetri holds up a 7.
Eve: I said seven to be modest, but now I’m just pissed.
Eve walks backstage.
Madame Mummy: Well… that was uncomfortable. Especially since that’s the second contestant that will probably advance based on a threat. Anyway, we have only two competitors left in this round. Let’s bring out Saige Neidert.
Saige looks back at Blair in the waiting room right before she walks out on stage.
Saige: I’m going to be a tough act to follow. Sorry they saved the worst for last.
Blair: Just go and act slutty; it’s the only thing you’re good at.
Saige laughs and walks out on stage. The crowd is mesmerized by her beauty.
Saige: Hello, everyone! My name is Saige Neidert!
Saige pirouettes to center stage.
Saige: Some of my friends call me Saige… well, most of them, but there’s one that calls me floozy and slut!
Blair grinds her teeth.
Saige: And I’m more than willing to prove her right.
Alden, Isaiah, Demetri, and the collective crowd’s jaws drop.
Saige: Oops, was that too forward? Sorry, I’m so bad at keeping things slow.
Crowd: It’s okay!
Saige: Oh, you boys are too kind to me! I’m just a girl who loves a man with inadequacy issues, but that wouldn’t apply to you, right?
The crowd goes nuts.
Madame Mummy: Alright, alright, let’s go to the judges for the quest-
Alden, Demetri, and Isaiah are already holding up 10s.
Madame Mummy: *sighs* I don’t even think she put that much effort in yet.
Saige is blowing kisses to the audience.
Saige: I love you all so much!
Madame Mummy: Alright, it’s time for our last contestant of the first round, Blair Maddox.
Saige walks backstage.
Saige: Good luck, tiny tits!
Blair: Shut it, floozy.
Blair walks out to crickets from the audience.
Blair: (I knew this was a terrible idea…)
Impulse returns with a literal pile of stuffed animals.
Impulse: Well, that was fun winning whack-a-mole 56 consecutive times! Although… they probably should consider making quirks illegal.
Impulse sees Blair on stage.
Impulse: (Oh, hey, it’s the cute one with self-confidence issues. Man, it looks like she’s bombing with the crowd.)
Blair reaches center stage.
Blair: Uh… my name is Blair… and I uh…
Impulse looks concerned.
Impulse: (Man… she is nervous!)
Blair notices Impulse in the crowd.
Blair: (Hayze?)
Impulse waves at Blair and smiles.
Blair: (Wait a second… is this what he was trying to show me by telling me to compete in this thing? To show me that I shouldn’t care about people’s opinions who only judge my beauty based on the size of my breasts? I’ve always let that drag me down. It’s not about the size… It's about the fact that I don’t feel like a woman. I feel like a little girl that never grew up. That’s why I’m so sensitive about it. I don’t feel beautiful… but I should. I shouldn’t let the definition of beauty be defined by a bunch of men I don’t care about.)
“ Hayze: Are you doing okay now? Sorry about Isaiah, Demetri, and Alden. Not all of us guys are like that.
Blair: Like what? Judge women on the size of their boobs?
Hayze: ...that’s one way to put it. I was gonna say some of us care more about personality, but that works. “ - Chapter 12
Blair: (I don’t need to impress all of these guys… there’s only one guy I care about impressing, and it looks like I already have.)
Blair smiles.
Blair: (But this is a competition, and I’m not just going to let that floozy beat me.) I know all of you are a little disappointed. Emphasis on the “little,” of course. But keep in mind, the flatter the chest, the closer you can get to the heart!
Saige and Impulse are both surprised.
Impulse: (Was that a-)
Saige: (Joke about her boobs?)
The crowd is endeared by Blair.
U.A. Student 1: You know, that is a pretty cute line.
U.A. Student 2: I hear she’s a little feisty too.
U.A. Student 3: Oh, I like that.
Alden clears his throat.
Alden: Please, Ms. Maddox, don’t tell me you think we should look past your apparent shortcomings?
Blair: There may not be many of them, but have you ever considered one simple fact?
Alden: And what might that be?
Blair: *whispers* They’re still soft.
Alden falls out of his chair. The crowd goes wild. Demetri and Isaiah hold up 10s, and Alden leaps up from the ground and follows suit.
Madame Mummy: Blair scores a 30. Will the top six highest-scoring contestants please join me on stage?
The crowd cheers for Blair.
Impulse: (She finally turned the page… good for her. Although… if Hayze is looking to be number 1, he may have just given himself a new rival.)
Blair is joined on stage by Eve, Karma, Ash, Saige, and Verity.
Madame Mummy: We now have halved the competition, and we will do so one more time and then some before moving to our final round. Round 1 was based on your beauty and personality. So, it’s only fitting that this round will be based on your intelligence.
Eve: (Fuck…)
Blair: We’re actually getting a quiz?
Karma: Well, this is a school…
Saige: Yeah, Blair, not everything has to be so superficial!
Blair: Shut it, floozy!
Ash: I’m sure the questions won’t be too hard.
Madame Mummy turns to the judges.
Madame Mummy: This will not be a regular quiz. The judges have prepared several questions for the contestants to answer.
Eve: Didn’t you say they volunteered for this last minute? How did they prepare questions?
Madame Mummy: Only one contestant will be questioned at a time. If they get it right, they choose the next competitor to be asked a question, and if they get it wrong, they’re out. Last two competitors standing move on to the final round. Got it?
The Girls: Right!
Madame Mummy: Okay, we’ll start with the contestant that scored the lowest in the first round, Karma.
Karma: Okay!
Madame Mummy: Judge number 1, ask a question.
Alden: *clears throat* Is Mexico a United State?
Madame Mummy facepalms as everyone else is dumbfounded.
Karma: No.
Madame Mummy: Correct… Karma, please choose the next “victim.”
Karma: I guess… Verity?
Verity: I accept the challenge.
Madame Mummy: Judge number 2, your question.
Isaiah: Of the three of us judges, who is the hottest?
Madame Mummy just looks depressed at this point.
Verity: That is a trick question because none of you are considered “hot.”
Isaiah: Wrong answer! It’s me!
Madame Mummy: No… she’s right, simply because I have no idea how to judge that question. Verity.
Verity: I choose the floozy girl.
Saige: Hooray!
Madame Mummy: Judge 3…, please?
Demetri: Do I have to give a real one?
Madame Mummy: Why is that even a question?
Demetri: Uh… what is gold’s atomic number?
Blair: (This should get her!)
Saige: 79.
Blair: (WHAT!)
Madame Mummy: Correct.
Saige: Hooray!
Karma: That was impressive.
Saige: It’s beneficial to pay attention in class, right Blair?
Blair: Shut up...
Saige: Oh, and I choose Blair.
Blair: Fuck you…
Saige: Gladly.
Alden shuffles through his question cards.
Alden: Uh… what’s a prime number?
Everyone is once again dumbfounded by Alden’s stupid question.
Blair: A number that can only be divided by itself and 1.
Madame Mummy: I think we might want to start skipping judge number 1…
Blair: Saige.
Isaiah: What’s hotter on men, boxers or briefs?
Saige: Boxers, but you know what’s really hot on men?
Isaiah: Wh- what?
Saige: Panties, all the girls love a man in panties!
Isaiah: Really?
Saige: Yup.
Isaiah: Alright… alright.
Eve: (I’d tell him if I didn’t hate him.)
Saige looks at her competitors.
Saige: (Blair could be fun again, but…) I choose… Eve!
Eve: (SHIT!)
Demetri: Name the three stages of matter.
Eve: Uh…
Impulse looks concerned.
Impulse: (Is she really struggling with this?)
Time is ticking down for Eve to answer.
Madame Mummy: We need an answer, Ms. Avery.
Eve: Earth, Wind, and Fire?
Everyone stares at Eve.
Eve: I panicked, okay!
Blair: (I knew Eve wasn’t book smart… but I didn’t realize it was that bad…)
Madame Mummy: Eve is eliminated.
Eve: Whatever, at least I can get out of this stupid dress!
Eve storms off.
Madame Mummy: Alright, our next judge gets to choose who he asks.
Alden: I choose Ash!
Ash: Of course you do…
Alden triumphantly stands on his desk.
Alden: You see, Ashley and I are soulmates, so we know everything about each other! Thus, my question is: what’s my middle name!
Ash starts walking off the stage.
Alden: NO! MY DARLING! WHY?
Madame Mummy: I will take that as an “I have no idea”... judge 2?
Isaiah: I choose Karma!
Karma: Oh boy…
Isaiah: What is the name of my quirk?
Karma: Are… are you intentionally trying to eliminate me because I rejected you?
Isaiah: NO!
Karma: Well… I have no idea…
Isaiah: It’s other eyes! Just like how I’d put no other eyes on a woman beside you!
Karma: That doesn’t make sense…
Isaiah: I’M TRYING, OKAY?
Karma: *sighs*
Karma walks off.
Madame Mummy: And we are down to just three contestants. Judge 3, choose who you will question.
Demetri: Uh…
Blair glares at Demetri.
Demetri: Uh…
Saige smiles at Demetri.
Demetri: UH…
Verity stares blankly at Demetri.
Demetri: UH…
Madame Mummy: Just pick already…
Demetri: Verity!
Verity: Terrible choice.
Demetri: I know… they all were.
Madame Mummy: Ask the question…
Demetri: Uh… Who was that guy you said you handcuffed earlier?
Verity: I never said “I” was the one who handcuffed him.
Demetri: Did you?
Verity: Yes.
Demetri: Okay, then answer the question!
Verity: I cannot.
Demetri: Why? It’s easy as hell. This is basically a freebie…
Verity: I refuse.
Demetri: Then you’re eliminated…
Verity: So be it.
Verity starts walking towards the judge’s desk.
Demetri: Woah, Woah, Woah! Stay aw-
Verity jumps off the stage and walks into the crowd. Everyone watches with confusion.
Wes: No! No! No! STAY AWAY FROM ME!
Verity: Come along. We’re getting dinner.
Wes: It’s 2:30!
Verity: Early bird special.
Wes: That’s just for breakfast!
Verity starts dragging the chair Wes is handcuffed to and leaves with him.
Wes: HELP ME!
Everyone stares with varying expressions of confusion, dumbfoundedness, and blankness.
Demetri: Why didn’t she just say it was Wes…
Isaiah: I think she’s a little off the deep end.
Alden: Yeah… Wes can have her.
Madame Mummy: Well… we have our final 2. Blair Maddox and Saige Neidert.
The crowd cheers.
Blair: (Final 2! I can’t believe it! Hayze was right! I can win this thing!)
Saige: (Look at Blair, it’s so cute she thinks she can beat me!)
Madame Mummy pulls out two swords.
Blair: (Huh?)
Saige: (Yay!)
Madame Mummy: The Final Round will be a sword fight.
Blair: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BEAUTY!
Madame Mummy: I don’t know, and I don’t care enough to put any mind to it.
Madame Mummy hands them each a sword.
Madame Mummy: The swords aren’t sharp, so you can’t actually stab each other.
Saige: Aw…
Blair: WHAT?
Madame Mummy: As for the rules, no stripping your opponent.
The crowd boos loudly.
Saige: Aw…
Blair: Thank you…
Madame Mummy: There is also no use of quirks allowed. A winner will be decided either by knockout or ring out. Whichever comes first, I don’t care. Understand?
Blair: Yes!
Saige: Can we take a vote on that stripping rule?
Madame Mummy: No.
The crowd boos even louder… somehow.
Saige: Damn… guess I’ll have to devise a different strategy!
Blair: WHY WAS THAT YOUR GO TO?
Madame Mummy: Begin.
Saige and Blair lock swords, blocking each other’s every attack.
Saige: Isn’t this fun, Blair? Two besties fighting for a meaningless crown?
Blair: If it’s meaningless, then why do you want it?
Saige: Because you and I know that this was always more about winning a silly pageant, it was about us.
Blair: Us?
Saige sweeps Blair off her feet with a low kick. Blair falls on her ass.
Blair: Ow…
Saige holds her sword to Blair’s neck.
Saige: Don’t give me that, Blair. We’re rivals, I didn’t take you seriously before, but then I saw you fight during the Final Exams, I saw you with Hayze, and then I saw you during the first round of this pageant. So, you’re not inferior to me, Blair, you never were, and I see that now. So, I apologize.
Blair rips Saige’s sword from her hand and leaps backward. She faces off with Saige, dual-wielding the blades.
Blair: You thought I was inferior to you?
Saige: Blair, I know you felt inferior to me. You don’t have to act tough.
Blair: I never thought that!
Saige: *sighs* It’s okay. I understand you have a lot of pride… and so do I.
Blair charges at Saige and slashes with her first blade, but Saige ducks. Blair then slashes with her second blade, but Saige jumps.
Saige: My pride is what gets me in trouble.
Saige kicks Blair in the face knocking both swords out of her hands and into Saige’s.
Saige: It’s what holds me back and makes me make mistakes.
Blair: Mistakes?
Saige: That first night of the finals, I gave you advice, and for some reason, it didn’t sit well with me, and it’s because I was too proud to admit that I wasn’t happy doing it. The truth is, I’ve been alone most of my life, and I’ve been through things that nobody else has ever experienced… except for one person, and I think you know who that is.
Blair: I… I do.
Saige: He’s why I came here, the reason I left my life out West. Because… It meant so much to me to finally talk to someone, share my stories, and know they could understand.
Blair: You came here… for him?
Saige: No, he was the reason, but it wasn’t about him.
Blair doesn’t understand.
Saige: It was about me finally closing the chapter on a dark part of my life that I haven’t been able to. I wasn’t going to grow as a person if I didn’t. He was the catalyst that facilitated my ability to move on, and I finally am. But… that doesn’t mean I want to lose him, and I’ve been too proud to admit it, and I think that’s partly because I never saw anyone else as a worthy challenger. Until now… Blair, I’m afraid of losing. I’m scared of losing to you.
Saige tosses Blair her sword back.
Saige: But that fear drives me; it makes me want to compete, and I haven’t felt like that in a long time. So, thanks. Thank you for being my challenger and helping me move on.
Blair is taken aback.
Blair: It’s funny. We’re fighting over a “guy,” but I think there’s much more to it than that. I’m scared of losing to you too, but that’s mostly because I’ve been a “loser” most of my life. I’ve never had the confidence to see something I want and go after it because… I’ve never thought I deserved it. But… thanks to him and I can tell that I… I deserve to be happy, and I’m going to fight for it. I’m done being a loser. I’m beautiful and strong… just like you. So, may the best woman win.
Blair charges at Saige and locks swords again and again.
Saige: Maybe we should loosen up. This is only a single battle; after all, the war won’t be decided by just this.
Both girls backflip and lock eyes.
Blair and Saige: Nah.
They both charge at each other and lock swords once again.
Blair: (So…)
Saige: (This is what it’s like…)
Blair and Saige: (To have a true rival!)
Impulse watches with great interest.
Impulse: (I wish I could have heard what they said, but whatever it was, it sure made them happy. They haven’t stopped smiling this entire time since, and the crowd loves it!)
The crowd is cheering loudly.
Blair: (If I want to beat Saige, I have to catch her off guard somehow!)
Saige: (If I want to beat Blair, I have to catch her off guard somehow!)
Both get an idea.
Blair: Take this!
Blair swings her sword over her head.
Saige: Perfect!
Blair: Huh?
Saige grabs Blair’s tit. Mortifying her, Blair drops her sword, and it clunks against the ground.
Saige: Huh… you were right. They are still soft!
Blair is paralyzed.
Saige: Oh right!
Saige spin kicks Blair and knocks her clean off the stage.
Madame Mummy: Saige Neidert is the winner!
The crowd cheers and Blair opens her eyes.
Blair: (Dammit…)
Saige offers Blair her hand.
Saige: Don’t worry. No amount of body confidence will prepare you for being groped in front of a crowd of people.
Blair grabs Saige’s hand as she helps Blair to her feet.
Blair: Thanks… I guess.
Saige offers Blair her hand again.
Saige: I know we’ve had our differences, and we have a little rivalry, but… I’d like to finally be able to say… we’re friends?
Blair looks at Saige’s hand for a second.
Blair: As long as you promise to stop groping me.
Saige: The best I can do is no public groping.
Blair: I’ll take it…
Blair shakes Saige’s hand.
Blair: Friends.
Fireworks go off celebrating the end of the beauty pageant.
Madame Mummy: Will all the contestants join me on stage.
Everyone gathers (besides Tara and Sydney) on stage as Saige is given a “Ms. U.A.” sash and a small trophy, Saige waves to the crowd as they cheer for her.
Impulse: (I’d better get a kiss next time she sees me, after all, she would have missed this if I didn’t help her out!)
Impulse’s eyes start to flutter.
Impulse: (Ah, come on! Just a few… more… hours…)
Impulse passes out in the pile of stuffed animals he won.
Madame Mummy: Saige, you have won the right to choose where class 2-A will dorm next year for winning the beauty pageant. Choose wisely.
Eve: (Yes! Best dorm, here we come!)
Saige: Are there any dorms with co-ed bathrooms?
Madame Mummy: Yes… the Carolina dorm will have co-ed bathrooms and individual living spaces for each student to make up for that, alongside many different amenities.
Saige: We’ll take that one!
Eve: NOOOOOOOOOO!
Karma, Ash, Lilith, and Blair: *groans*
Alden, Demetri, and Isaiah: YEEEEEEEES!
The three boys hug.
Madame Mummy: Oh, that reminds me.
The cage protecting the boys starts to lower.
Alden, Demetri, and Isaiah: No! No! No! No!
The cage finishes lowering. Eve punches her palm.
Eve: I’m going to enjoy this.
Lilith stops Eve.
Lilith: No, Eve.
Alden: Oh, thank god.
Isaiah: Phew.
Demetri: We’re safe.
Lilith: I’ve got this.
Alden, Demetri, and Isaiah look at each other to see if they should be scared. Lilith approaches them.
Lilith: I’m not a mean person, but you need to learn a lesson.
Alden: (It’s just Lilith…)
Isaiah: (It can’t be too bad.)
Demetri: (I think we’ll be-)
Lilith begins savagely beating Alden, Demetri, and Isaiah. Their screams can be heard all throughout the festival.
Alden, Demetri, and Isaiah: HELP US!
Later on, three ambulances drive off to the hospital. Hayze wakes up in the pile of stuffed animals.
Hayze: Wh- what happened?
Hayze spots Blair and Saige talking with each other.
Blair: So, some ground rules, no interfering with each other, this will be a clean competition.
Saige: I already don’t do that, just think back to the party!
Blair: That also reminds me! Don’t eavesdrop!
Saige: Oh, come on! You’d totally do it if you were clever enough!
Blair: No, I wouldn’t!
Hayze comes running up to them.
Hayze: Did the pageant already happen?
Blair: Y- Yeah… you were there… remember?
Hayze: I was?
Hayze notices Saige is pointing to her eye.
Hayze: Oh right! Yeah, you girls looked great.
Blair blushes.
Blair: Thanks… you being there meant a lot.
Hayze looks distraught.
Blair: Is something wrong?
Hayze: No, nothing! It’s… it’s fine.
Saige: Of course, I won, but then again, is anyone surprised?
Blair: Shut up. I made it closer than you expected.
Saige: Nope, I had control the whole time.
Blair: No, you didn’t, you floozy!
Saige: You know I did, bestie!
Blair opens her mouth to retort, then frustratedly stops herself.
Saige: Oh! And we were besties now!
Hayze: You two decided to be friends finally?
Blair: Reluctantly…
Saige: She did it with a smile!
Blair: *frustrated grunt*
Hayze: Well… that’s good. What a… what made you guys have a change of heart.
Blair and Saige both look at each other.
Blair: Nothing.
Saige: Blair loves me.
Blair: I don’t!
Saige: Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?
Blair storms off.
Hayze: Blair! Wait!
Saige stops Hayze.
Saige: Let her go. Today was a big day for her.
Hayze: Really?
Saige: She made a joke about her tits.
Hayze is surprised.
Saige: I know; I had the same reaction.
Hayze: I wish I could have seen it… I feel bad for missing the pageant.
Saige: It’s okay. You have the memories.
Hayze: N- no, I don’t…
Saige: Oh, Impulse, if you can hear me, mind sharing with Hayze your memories of today? For me?
A few seconds pass as Impulse’s memories flood Hayze’s mind.
Hayze: Woah… that was weird.
Saige: Good work, Impulse.
Hayze: Wow… you guys all looked great.
Saige: I know, I did.
Hayze: He asked you out?
Saige: He’s a little quick on the draw.
Hayze: Thanks for the help.
Saige: Yeah, well, you need to be careful. If that was Khaos or Wrath, there could have been serious problems. But Adrian said you had a way of controlling it. He didn’t lie to me, did he?
Hayze: No, he didn’t. This was just an accident. It’s not happening again.
Saige: Good.
Saige starts walking away.
Saige: I’m going to hang out with all the girls now. Catch you tomorrow, okay? Bye!
Hayze: Bye…
Saige runs off after Blair.
Hayze: (Impulse, huh? That’s four out of five of them I’ve met… what Adrian said before about them not being me… he’s right. Impulse, Wrath, Calm, and Khaos… they’re their own people… and my body is their prison…)
Hayze feels something in his pocket. He pulls out the pendant and puts it on.
Hayze: (I can’t lose this again, not under any circumstance. Lives depend on it.)