Inside 2-A’s classroom, Justus, Kevin, Karma, Angel, Gus, Eve, Demetri, and Alden are waiting for Adrian.
Kevin: *groans* This is the worst…
Angel: Yeah… it’s kind of depressing with all of these empty seats.
Alden: You guys think I could-
Everyone: No.
Alden: *groans*
Alden climbs into the ceiling.
Karma: I’m just going to use this as motivation to pass the next licensing exam at all costs.
Justus: That’s the right attitude to have.
Kevin: Yeah, and I’m going to use this as motivation to yell at Aster for not making Exciton hurry the fuck up with my work-study!
Eve: Shut up, Kevin. Read the room.
Kevin: What room? Nobody is here!
Demetri looks at Isaiah’s empty seat.
Demetri: (Yeah… nobody is.)
Adrian enters the room.
Adrian: Jeez, still no Jace, Lilith, or Isaiah? When you see them back at the dorm later today, tell them they’ll go on academic probation if they keep skipping class.
Angel: If they listen…
Adrian: Just try, please.
Adrian walks up to the podium.
Adrian: I know this atmosphere isn’t the happiest to be learning in, but try to look at the bright side; this will allow you to ask more questions and give me the chance to help all of you if you’re struggling with the material.
Everyone is silent.
Adrian: *sighs* Anyway, I guess I should introduce you to our new teacher.
Kevin: New teacher?
Karma: Really?
Adrian: Yes, with Mr. Walker still on leave, Principal Ewing decided it was time to fill my former position with an interim teacher.
Vanguard enters the room.
Adrian: This is Mr. Butler.
Everyone is surprised to see Vanguard due to his enormous size and muscular physique.
Kevin: Woah…
Eve: (Damn…)
Vanguard: Hello, everyone. It’s great to meet all of you. I’m the new quirk counselor, so if you have any questions or need any advice, feel free to stop by my office anytime.
Adrian: Does anyone have any questions for Mr. Butler?
Karma: Can I ask what your quirk is? Part of the reason it was good to work with Mr. Adrian was his ability to mimic our abilities.
Vanguard: Oh, I don’t have a quirk.
Everyone is surprised.
Adrian: (Wait, what? Ewing hired a quirkless quirk counselor?)
Vanguard: Don’t worry though, I know what I’m doing. Ever heard the phrase those who can’t do, teach?
Vanguard laughs.
Justus: (Why do I have a strange feeling about him?)
Vanguard: Anyway, I’ll let you start your class, Adrian. I hope to see you all around!
Vanguard leaves.
Adrian: (Weird…)
At Big Tank’s agency, Big Tank, Ash, and Aaron enter a war room with many military guys working on computers.
Ash: What’s this?
Big Tank: The planning room; you see, I don’t like to get my hands dirty until I’m sure an operation will be successful.
Big Tank walks up to a table with many newspapers and reports. Ash and Aaron follow.
Big Tank: This is the task I’m currently working on, and you two will help me with it.
Aaron looks at the papers. They detail the victims of the Vampire Queen.
Aaron: The Vampire Queen, eh? We’ve heard of her.
Big Tank: Yeah, she’s the new “big bad” around Nashville. She runs a very tight ship and is extremely cautious with her moves. I’ve been looking to take her down for a while now.
Ash notices something on the reports; she picks it up.
Ash: Vampire Queen… aka. Scarlett Constantine lives in a victorian home in the southern part of- wait, so you know her full name and address?
Big Tank: Of course, there aren’t many people with a vampire quirk.
Aaron: Then why haven’t you rolled in there and taken her down?
Big Tank: Because there’s no proof that she’s done anything wrong.
Aaron: Huh? She’s killed 11 people by sucking their blood. What do you mean by “no proof?”
Big Tank: No footage, witnesses, or evidence can directly connect her to those murders. We know it’s her, but we can’t prove it. Reasonable suspicion does not provide grounds for arrest.
Ash: Not to question you, Mr. Big Tank, but how is that even possible?
Big Tank: We’re not sure. I’ve had my men watching her home for weeks now, and they haven’t once seen her leave the building. Furthermore, they’ve never seen any of her victims within three blocks of that house. I had the police acquire a search warrant for the building twice, and they found no evidence to suggest a murder took place. Also, we have a list of her known associates, the guys committing crimes and stealing money and objects for her. We don’t even have evidence that they know her, let alone work for her.
Ash: Then how do you know they’re her associates?
Big Tank pulls footage of the Large Man and two other men stealing tons of blood from a hospital.
Big Tank: You want to take a guess who all of that is for?
Aaron: So, you have all of these pieces and crimes that you know she’s masterminded, but you can’t connect any of it to her.
Big Tank: Exactly; however, there is one thing that gives my investigation hope.
Aaron and Ash: Huh?
Big Tank pulls up a live feed of Scarlett’s home. He zooms in on a bat flying away.
Aaron: A bat?
Big Tank: Her quirk allows her to control bats telepathically. You see how that bat has a piece of its wing missing?
Ash: Yeah?
Big Tank: Well, look at this.
Big Tank pulls up the hospital robbery footage and zooms in on a bat watching from a nearby light post.
Aaron: It’s the same bat!
Big Tank: Yup, it looks like the Queen doesn’t trust her subordinates completely.
Ash: But, is this enough evidence to go after her?
Big Tank: No, but I’m hoping we can use this as a springboard for taking her down.
Aaron: Sweet, so what’s next?
Big Tank: Nothing right now. We’re just going on patrol.
Aaron: Huh? But we-
Big Tank: We need more than just us three for this operation. I’ve already contacted Lust, and she’s agreed to help with the eventual takedown. I hope to talk to more of the Top 10 about it at the upcoming Honor Ceremony.
Aaron: Honor Ceremony?
Big Tank: It’s a formal event to officially announce and celebrate the new Top 10. It’ll give me a good chance to recruit some additional help.
Big Tank turns to Ash.
Big Tank: You’ll be accompanying me.
Ash: Me- me?
Aaron: What!
Big Tank: I like you, Ghost Girl, and consider this the last part of your punishment for embarrassing me, Howitzer.
Aaron: *groans* You already injected piss into my arm, now this?
Big Tank: Hey, you will still accompany me when we take down the Vampire Queen. (I just hope we can figure out more of what she’s up to before then.)
Scarlett is walking around her home. All window blinds are shut. She approaches the fireplace and reaches her hand up the shaft. She pushes down on a brick, causing the fireplace to morph into an elevator.
Scarlett: (I’m hoping for some good news today.)
Scarlett takes the elevator and descends deep into the ground. The elevator stops, and the door opens to a massive underground labyrinth. The Large Man is waiting for her.
Large Man: My Queen.
Scarlett: How have the experiments been progressing?
Large Man: Not well, unfortunately.
Scarlett: *nasal grunt* Then I need to pay Dr. Wirths a visit.
Scarlett and Large Man walk down the hall until they reach a marked room, “Laboratory;” the door next to it says “Test Subjects.” They enter the room. There are beakers upon beakers full of blood, a table with straps stained with vomit and blood, and a scientist in a lab coat typing away on a computer.
Scarlett: Dr. Wirths, tell me something that won’t make me angry.
Wirths: Of course, my Queen, I was actually just about to test the newest version of the serum!
Scarlett: Will it work?
Wirths: We won’t know until we find out!
Scarlett: Large Man, fetch a subject.
Large Man: Yes, ma’am.
Large Man leaves and returns with a woman tied up and gagged. Her clothes and skin are filthy, implying she has been captured for some time.
Woman: *muffled* AHHHH!
Wirths: Place her on the table and strap her down.
Large Man does as he is told. Wirths walks over to the table and puts his face close to the terrified woman.
Wirths: Don’t worry, darling. This won’t hurt… until I start.
Wirths walks up to a locked freezer and taps a code into the keypad to open it. Inside there are four syringes with a bright red liquid in them. He places them into different arms on a machine beside the table.
Scarlett: What are the odds this works?
Wirths: Oh, almost zero, but we won’t know if we don’t try!
Wirths laughs maniacally.
Girl: *muffled* AHHH!
Wirths: I guess I should explain how this all works since you’re more than likely going to die. You see, during the day known as Iota’s Assault, it was revealed that a legendary geneticist named Dr. Kelsey Moore had created a serum that gave people quirks. It’s been my job to try to recreate this magnificent concoction, but with a twist. I’m not trying to give you A quirk; I’m trying to give you my Queen’s quirk. I’m trying to turn you into a vampire.
The girl starts panicking.
Wirths: My Queen’s quirk has a unique attribute due to her “Undead” status. If her bodily fluids enter a living person’s bloodstream, they are given access to her quirk’s powers. It’s my theory that this makes her quirk the perfect candidate for this kind of project.
Wirths caresses one of the syringes.
Wirths: Each of these contains a sample of my Queen’s blood mixed with a whole bunch of other shit! I’ve been trying to perfect this mixture, and I’ve been using you and the other girls we’ve captured to test it. Of course, you can probably put together why none of your other cellmates ever returned.
Wirths laughs loudly.
Scarlett: Get on with it, Doctor.
Wirths: Right, my Queen.
Wirths walks over to her control panel.
Wirths: LET’S HAVE SOME FUN!
The girl gets injected with all four needles simultaneously, and the serum courses through her veins.
Girl: *muffled* AHHHHHHHH!
The girl’s skin turns red, and blood gushes from her eyes and nose. Then, suddenly, the girl stops screaming and moving entirely.
Wirths: It looks like we have another failure.
Scarlett: I’m beginning to grow tired of waiting. I was told you were the best geneticist in the world.
Wirths: Well, if we’re being fair, that’s by default. Dr. Moore was far better than I will ever be; I’m man enough to admit that.
Scarlett: Unless she’s going to rise from the grave, I don’t want to hear about her!
Wirths: Unfortunately, my Queen, you’re going to have to. Moore spent years working on her Project Q serum; I’ve only had a few months. If only she hadn’t erased all of her research and work before her death, I’d have a decent starting point to work with.
Scarlett: I don’t need excuses, Doctor. I need results. I need you to create this serum.
Wirths: That’s what I’m trying to say. I don’t know how to create this serum because I have no clue where to start. Imagine asking an architect to build a house with no foundation. He’ll call you insane.
Scarlett: I am insane, Doctor, and so are you.
Wirths: Yes, but I’m no miracle worker. I need something, anything, that will point me in the right direction here.
Scarlett: Like what?
Wirths: Like this!
Wirths flips his laptop around, displaying pictures of Hayze, Saige, Fatal, and Iota.
Scarlett: What are you getting at?
Wirths: These are the four people who received Moore’s quirk serum. With her, the serum, and all of her research gone, they are the only Project Q remnants. They’re the only clues we have left of potential replication.
Scarlett: So, what, you want them captured?
Wirths: No, I just need their blood for reference. It could be the key to making your Project V a reality.
Scarlett stares at the screen.
Scarlett: Their blood, you say? How many of them?
Wirths: Just one should do, but I’ll need a lot.
Scarlett: Hm… Iota would be a problematic capture, and I’m not too fond of feasting on women… which leaves only one choice.
Wirths: I was hoping you’d pick him. If I recall correctly, You have someone perfect to capture him.
Scarlett: Yes… I do.
Scarlett smiles.
Scarlett: If I go through all this trouble of hunting down and killing a U.A. student, you had better be able to make this serum a reality, Doctor.
Wirths: Of course.
Scarlett: Good, then I will begin preparing everything.
Scarlett starts to leave.
Scarlett: Large Man, come with me.
Large Man: Where are we going, my Queen?
Scarlett: I’m hungry, and I want to find my own food this time.
Hayze, Daniele, and Lust are walking down the street on patrol. Many people are admiring Lust and waving hi to her.
Hayze: So, this is patrolling?
Daniele: Yeah… haven’t you… done this? You had an internship, right?
Hayze: It wasn’t traditional... I didn’t get to do any of the typical hero stuff.
Lust: That’s unfortunate to hear, but don’t worry, you’ll get to see everything while working for the Lust Hero Agency!
Lust does a twirl.
Hayze: *whispering to Daniele* I genuinely can’t believe a human like this exists.
Daniele: *whispering* You get used to it.
Hayze: I hope the girls are having this much fun.
Daniele: They’re with Kleptogirl, so… no, they’re not.
Kleptogirl, Sydney, Blair, and Saige are patrolling a different part of the city.
Kleptogirl: I’ll start by establishing some ground rules of patrolling: stay with me at all times; if you see something, report it to me. I will handle any problems we may encounter unless I allow one of you to do it. Got that?
Blair: Yes, ma’am!
Kleptogirl: You probably think I’m being a hardass, but listen here… if you mess up on my watch, then Ms. Lust will come with me on my next patrol, and I refuse to ever let that happen again.
Sydney: Wh- why?
Kleptogirl: Never again…
Lust sits down on a street bench.
Lust: Let’s take a quick break, okay?
Daniele: Sounds good.
Hayze: Right.
Hayze looks around; many people are staring at them.
Daniele: You’ll also get used to the prying eyes.
Hayze: I can almost feel the daggers; why?
Daniele: Because their “real” hero is gone, they like Lust but don’t trust her as much as they did Colossus.
Hayze: It’s crazy how big of an impact he had.
Daniele: Think about it like this, Colossus was the number-one hero for 18 years. Someone who is 30 now hasn’t experienced life without his protection since they were in middle school.
Hayze: Yeah… that’s nuts.
Daniele: Colossus represented something more than just being a good guy. He was a leader, a person everyone believed in. That’s hard to replicate. I mean, Lust has a good shot at being number one someday, and do you think she’ll inspire people the way he did?
Hayze: Maybe not, but there won’t be another Colossus. People will have to accept that.
Daniele: That’s easier said than done.
Lust stands up.
Lust: Okay, let’s-
Old Woman: Help!
A robber has stolen an old woman’s purse and is running away.
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
Hayze: That’s so cliche.
Daniele: It doesn’t matter. We have to help!
Lust: Don’t worry, I’ve got this!
Lust points her palm at the robber, and Hayze stops her.
Hayze: He’s got a bit of distance; you might miss and hit someone else.
Lust: That’s okay. I’ll just make them happy!
Hayze: Let me handle this.
Hayze’s eyes change to red.
Hayze: Boost!
Hayze launches himself at the robber, landing in front of him.
Robber: Wh- a hero already!
Hayze: We were literally within earshot; you didn’t even look around, did you?
Robber: Shut up!
The robber’s nails grow long.
Robber: Take this!
The robber tries slashing at Hayze, but Hayze ignites fire up his arm and blocks the attack.
Hayze: It’s amazing how Alden ever made it into U.A.
Hayze slugs the robber in the chest with his fist of flame, burning a hole in his shirt and chest.
Robber: *grunts*
The robber falls to his knees, releasing the purse. Daniele walks over and retrieves it.
Robber: My well-thought-out robbery! No!
Lust: Cheer up!
Lust hits the robber with a smile cannon.
Robber: *moans*
Hayze: That wasn’t necessary…
Daniele: Great job, Ms. Lust!
Lust: I know! Look how happy he is about having his plan thwarted!
The robber is drooling with a massive smile on his face.
Hayze: (Been there, buddy…)
Old Woman: Oh, thank you, deary.
Hayze: Don’t worry about it, ma’am.
Daniele: Here you go!
Daniele hands her the purse.
Old Woman: Thank you… NOW GET ON THE GROUND!
The old woman pulls out a Glock from her purse.
Hayze: Well, this isn’t cliche…
Daniele: WHAT!
Old Woman: Hand over your wallets!
Daniele: I DON’T HAVE A WALLET! IT’S A BODYSUIT!
Hayze: WHO ROBS HEROES?!
Lust: Smile Cannon!
The old ladies’ skin turns to rock, neutralizing the attack.
Lust: Huh?
Old Woman: You really thought I wouldn’t be prepared for your orgasm ray?
Hayze and Daniele: Please don’t call it that…
Old Woman: It was all a trap! This man you just made paint his pants white is my grandson, and his one job was to get the boy to transform! So now you’re both useless against my quirk, so hand over your money!
Daniele: We don’t have any money!
Lust is on her phone.
Lust: Hello, sir. How are my finances looking?
Old Woman: Good, now ask him to withdraw everything!
Lust: Yes, ma’am!
Hayze and Daniele: (WHAT!)
Daniele: Ms. Lust, you don’t have to give her all your money! You can fight back!
Lust: Oh, right!
Lust points both of her hands at the woman.
Lust: Your skin may be strong enough to withstand my Smile Cannon, but how about my Smile Howitzer!
Lust fires two smile cannons at the Old Woman; she grabs her grandson and uses him as a human shield.
Robber: Huh… what’s? *moans really fucking loudly*
The old woman tosses him aside.
Old Woman: You’ll never defeat me!
Daniele: Oh, really?
Old Woman: ¡Por supuesto no! [Of course not!] ¿Eh? [Huh?]
Daniele: You’re now suffering from my quirk, Language control!
Old Woman: ¡Qué carajo! [What the fuck?]
Daniele: And if you can’t speak English… Well, how are you going to rob us!
Old Woman: ¡Fácilmente! [Easily!]
The Old Woman aims her gun at Daniele; it starts melting.
Old Woman: ¡Qué! [What?]
Hayze: Sorry, ma’am, we can’t understand you.
Old Woman: ¿Qué dijiste? [What did you say?]
Daniele: I just took away your ability to understand English for a moment, and after this sentence, I’ll take it away permanently. Unless you surrender!
Old Woman: ¡No!
Hayze: Do you think this will work?
Daniele: Imagine having to learn English from scratch at her age? She’s better off in prison.
The old woman falls to her knees in defeat; her skin reverts to normal.
Old Woman: I surrender...
Hayze: Great, now Lust doesn’t have to-
Lust: Smile Cannon!
Old Woman: *moans*
Hayze and Daniele watch in horror.
Hayze: Do… that.
Lust: Hooray! You did a great job, Hayze! I think you should accompany Daniele and me to the Top 10 Honor Ceremony tomorrow night!
Hayze: Me? But you haven’t even been able to work with any of my friends.
Lust: Well, it’s tomorrow night, and I was impressed by your interview and performance today, so hooray!
Daniele: Just say yes. Kleptogirl can’t go because she needs to run the agency in Lust’s absence; it will be a good experience.
Hayze: Well, okay then.
Lust: Hooray! Now let’s get some police out here for these baddies!
Tyson and Silver are patrolling a different part of town. Tyson has bandages from his forearms down to his hands.
Silver: You sure you don’t want to go to a hospital for those injuries?
Tyson: Of course not; just because the skin burnt off my arms doesn’t mean I can’t work.
Silver: Right…
Silver and Tyson pass by an alleyway where a mugging is in progress.
Mugger: Now give me all you’ve got!
Man: Here! Take it!
The man hands him a library card.
Mugger: Wh-
Man: Please! Just take it and leave!
The Mugger holds his knife to the man’s neck.
Mugger: Do you think this is some kind of joke? I SAID EVERYTHING!
Man: That is everything!
Mugger: THEN I GUESS YOU’RE GONNA DIE!
Tyson: Hey, how about you and I play a little game?
Mugger: What?
The Mugger turns to see Silver and Tyson.
Silver: Let me-
Tyson: No, I’ll show you how it’s done around here.
Mugger: Heroes, huh? I guess killing you two would boost my rep.
Tyson: That’s cool, but I’m not looking to die. I’m looking to have a little fun.
Mugger: Fun?
Tyson: The police are already on their way and considering you’re using a knife for this mugging, I’d say your quirk isn’t combat-oriented. So, even if you could defeat both of us, there’s no way you’d do it fast enough to escape… unless…
Mugger: Unless what?
Tyson: You and I play a game of rock, paper, scissors. If you win, you’re pardoned and go free.
Mugger and Silver: (What?)
The Mugger notices Tyson’s hands.
Mugger: (Rock, paper, scissors with a guy who can only play rock? I’m in.)
The Mugger releases the man.
Tyson: Run along, sir.
The man runs away.
Mugger: Alright, let’s do this.
Tyson: Okay, but you should know that if I win, you have to clean that dumpster with your tongue.
There is a putrid and disgusting-looking dumpster down the alleyway.
Tyson: It has to sparkle.
Mugger: Yeah, right, sure, you’ve got a deal.
Tyson: Good, then let’s shake on it.
Mugger: Fine.
The Mugger and Tyson shake hands.
Tyson: Ready?
Mugger: Right.
Silver: (With Tyson’s hands bandaged like they are, he can only throw rock, what’s he thinking?)
Tyson: Before we play, I should warn you, I’m going to play paper.
Mugger and Silver: (What?)
Mugger: Huh? Like I’m going to believe that! You can only play rock!
Tyson: Sure… of course, I can.
Mugger: (Huh? Wait… what if these bandages are all a trick? What if he actually can play paper? Hm… I know! I’ll throw paper! That way, I’ll either tie or win.)
Tyson smiles.
Tyson: Let me guess, you’re going to throw paper, right?
Mugger: Wh- what!
Tyson: You know tying isn’t going to win you anything, right? If the police arrive before our game ends, you’re never getting out of here. I swear on my life, I’m throwing paper.
Mugger: (Ugh… he’s right, I have to try and win right here! He’s a hero after all! There’s no way he’d lie this hard!)
Tyson and Mugger: Rock… Paper… Scissors… SHOOT!
The Mugger throws scissors, and Tyson throws Rock.
Silver: (What!)
Mugger: Huh!
Tyson: Looks like you lose.
Mugger: B- b- b- you lied!
Tyson: Yeah, nowhere in the hero rule book does it say I have to tell the truth all the time.
Mugger: *frustrated grunt* WHATEVER! SCREW YOUR GAME!
The Mugger tries running away when suddenly he feels his tongue being pulled towards the dumpster.
Mugger: *with tongue out* Wh- what’s going on?
Tyson: Remember, buddy, it has to be sparkling.
The Mugger slowly approaches the dumpster.
Mugger: *with tongue out* AHHHHHHH!
Tyson turns to Silver.
Tyson: Let’s go call the police.
Silver watches in disgust as the robber is forced to lick the dumpster clean.
Silver: H- how?
Tyson: Simple. Your way would have been messy and potentially caught the victim in the crossfire. Also, we didn’t have time to call the police, so I lied about that to make him believe he had no way out. Notice how he didn’t even attempt to run when he thought he could easily win my game? I just saved us a chase.
Silver: No, I mean… how did you get him to play scissors like that?
Tyson: Oh, introductory human psychology. He thought I couldn’t throw anything but rock which is why he accepted so readily, but when I brought a confident demeanor and proclaimed I would throw paper, he got worried. After that, I knew he’d convince himself to throw paper to ensure a victory or a tie, so I just had to convince him he needed to win as quickly as possible. Since I was a hero, he thought I wouldn’t lie on my own life, so he threw scissors without question.
Silver: Wow…
Tyson: Heroing isn’t always about muscle, kid. You should have learned that back at the academy.
Silver: You’re only one year older than me.
Tyson: Yeah, and don’t forget it.
Tyson walks off.
Silver: (Did I really just get schooled in strategy by that guy?)
Later in the night, Impact, Yul, Zach, and Wes are patrolling the streets.
Impact: So tell me, you two, what was your favorite fight you’ve ever been in.
Zach: That’s a tough one, probably my fight against Aaron during the Sports Festival. That was a real knock-down-drag-out battle.
Impact: Nice, I enjoyed that one too. What about you, Wes?
Wes: It’s probably the only one I’ve ever won. I fought against a guy named Bruno during our final examinations.
Impact: No way! You’ve only won one fight?
Wes: Uh… yeah…
Impact: Damn, I thought you would have had way more with how you fought against those two girls during your licensing exam.
Wes: (Did he not see me scream like a bitch at the beginning…) Can I ask you something, sir?
Impact: Go right ahead!
Wes: I get why you would want Zach, but… why me?
Impact places his hand on Wes’ shoulder.
Impact: Because, kid, I like taking on heroes that have a chip on their shoulders. Did you know that Yul was the runner-up of both Sports Festivals his class had?
Zach: No way… you lost to Aster in the finals twice?
Yul: Indeed, he overpowered me; it’s alright, though.
Impact: He says that, but no warrior lets something like that slip their mind. I knew I needed to have him working for me. As for Zach, you’ve consistently ranked well amongst your peers but never received recognition as one of the top-flight hero prospects of your class.
Zach: H- how do you know that?
Impact: Yul told me, duh.
Zach: Huh?
Yul: Impact asked for information on all of you. He really wanted to have a solid grasp on everyone before selecting who he wanted.
Impact: As for you, Wes, you have a bully, and it’s time for you to show him that you’re just as good, if not better, than him.
Wes: Bully?
Impact: Yeah, that Aaron kid, right?
Wes: Aaron’s my best friend, not my bully.
Zach, Yul, and Impact stare at Wes.
Zach: You know…
Yul: Are you being serious? I always thought you two being friends was a joke.
Impact: Yeah, that’s kind of the impression I got.
Wes: Wh- no, Aaron isn’t-
A flashback begins.
Wes: Aaron, where is my laptop?
Aaron: Sold it.
Wes: Wh- WHAT!
Aaron: Yeah, I needed some money to buy a gift for Alexis’ birthday.
Wes: SO YOU USED MY FUCKING LAPTOP!
Aaron: Yup!
Wes: I had a lot of personal information on there!
Aaron: Yeah, and I made sure to download some extra freaky porn there, too, before selling it.
Wes: I- I- I-
Aaron: Oh, I also gave the buyer a list of your fears and room number.
The flashback ends.
Wes: Yeah, actually, I do want to kick his ass.
Impact: Good, because with my tutelage, you’ll-
Suddenly an explosion goes off in a building a block away from them.
Impact: Good timing. Yul!
Yul: Ready, sir.
Yul pulls out a pair of binoculars and a sonar device.
Wes: Huh?
Yul: Fusion!
Yul fuses the two items into a sonar binocular set. He looks through the device at the explosion.
Yul: Looks like we have just one, sir, and he’s a big one.
Impact cracks his knuckles.
Impact: Good.
A massive man who is so fat his body type is essentially a sphere comes rolling out of the exploded building. It was a subway.
Sphere Man: Hahaha! That’s the last time they call me fat!
Impact: Hey fatass!
Sphere Man: HUH!
The villain turns to see Impact, Yul, Zach, and Wes.
Wes: Uh… I don’t recommend calling him names, sir.
Impact: It’s okay; I’ve dealt with this guy before. His name is Fatass.
Wes: I DON’T BELIEVE THAT FOR A SECOND!
Fatass: Finally, someone who gets my full name correctly. I hate when people try to shorten it.
Wes: Wh- I- wh- HUH?
Impact steps forward.
Impact: You’ve been on the run for a long time, Fatass.
Wes: HOW!
Impact: It’s time for me to take you down.
Zach: *whispering* I can’t believe we’re going to see Impact in action.
Yul: Remember, sir, don’t get too excited like you did last time. You can’t break loose and-
Impact: IT’S TIME TO BREAK LOOSE!
Impact starts running at Fatass.
Impact: Now it’s time for my teleportation quirk!
Zach: Awesome!
Impact bursts towards Fatass at an incredibly high speed, moving so fast that he creates a sonic boom. Moving at speeds the naked eye cannot process.
Impact: Teleport Attack!
Impact slams into Fatass and is absorbed into his fat. Wes is dumbfounded.
Wes: Wh-
Zach: Uh…
Yul: *sighs*
Fatass laughs.
Fatass: Impact’s teleportation quirk is useless against my fat! He always forgets!
Zach: Damn, if he can beat teleportation, what can we do!
Wes: Okay! Why does everyone keep calling it teleportation! He just moved really fucking fast!
Yul: This happened last time we encountered Fatass, don’t worry, I have a plan. Hold him off for a few minutes.
Yul starts walking towards a nearby arcade.
Wes: What! You’re just gonna leave us to fight on our own?!
Zach: Sweet!
Zach extends his bone claws and tail.
Zach: I’ve been looking for a good fight!
Zach charges at Fatass.
Wes: *sighs* (If I had to guess, my bullets would be absorbed into his fat, so I should aim for a part of the body that doesn’t usually have a lot of fat on it.)
Zach lunges at Fatass.
Fatass: Not happening!
Fatass starts rolling around like a ball, avoiding Zach’s attack.
Zach: Wh- what the? What kind of quirk is this?
Fatass: You’ll never catch me! You’re not fast enough!
Zach: Oh yeah?
Zach attempts to lunge at Fatass again, but Fatass continues rolling around, avoiding him. This continues over and over again.
Zach: Hold still!
Wes walks up to a street lamp and turns it into a mirror surface. Then, he walks back to the center of the street and aims his weapon.
Wes: And now we wait.
Fatass continues rolling around Zach.
Fatass: I’m only toying with you right now! Soon I’ll crush you beneath my massive weight, and-
Wes fires a bullet that ricochets off the lamppost and shoots straight through Fatass’ nut sack, bursting his left testicle.
Fatass: AHHHHHHHHHH!
Zach: I’ve got you now!
Zach stabs Fatass with his bone claws.
Fatass: AHHHHHHHH! I SURRENDER! JUST GET ME TO A HOSPITAL!
Zach runs up to Wes.
Zach: Nice work, Wes! We make a great team!
Wes: Yeah… sure do…
Yul comes out of the arcade with the claw from a claw game and a gun from a shooting game.
Yul: Huh, you guys beat him? What did you do?
Wes: Uh…
Zach: I distracted him while Wes shot and stunned him; that gave me an opening to finish him off!
Wes: Yeah, we’ll go with that description.
Yul: Ah, great job.
Yul fuses the two objects into a claw gun. He shoots it into Fatass’ stomach and pulls Impact out of the fat. He’s doused in sweat.
Impact: Phew, good work, guys! I knew I could count on you!
Yul: You need to remember that your teleportation doesn’t work against Fatass.
Wes: Again… that’s not… ah, forget it.
Impact: Wes and Zach, you two already look like fine additions to this agency! Wes, great job coming up with that plan. I never would have thought of something like that.
Wes: All I did was shoot him in the left teste.
Impact: Great work today, guys. I’ll stay behind and talk to the police. Yul, you continue the patrol.
Yul: Yessir.
Zach: Man, this guy was tough. What was his quirk exactly?
Impact: Oh, he can read really fast.
Zach and Wes stare at Impact.
Wes: Fuck it, I’m not asking.
Later that night, a couple is walking through the park together.
Man: Oh honey, could we please have sex tonight? I’m so tired of waiting.
Woman: Sweetie, you know how I’ve been saving myself for marriage.
Man: Me too, but the ceremony is only a formality. We’re in love, and we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together. We’re basically married already!
Woman: Hm… well, when you put it that way…
Man: Please!
Woman: Alright, let’s do it!
Man: Sweet! I’m not going to die a virgin!
Woman: Not unless we don’t make it back to the apartment.
The couple laughs as a dark fog begins to surround them.
Man: I uh… huh… where did this fog come from?
Woman: I’m not sure.
Suddenly, the couple hears footsteps approaching them.
Scarlett: I always love a happy couple… splitting them apart, that is.
Man: Uh… who are you?
Scarlett: They call me… the Vampire Queen.
The man wets himself.
Man: GOD HEARD US!
Woman: AHHHHH!
Yul, Zach, and Wes are taking a break at a park bench.
Yul: Well, it’s late, so we should head back to the agency.
Wes: Thank god, my feet are killing me.
Zach: Uh… guys… what’s that?
Yul and Wes both look to see an ellipse of black fog randomly in the park center.
Yul: That’s… strange…
Zach: Let’s check it out!
The three run up to the fog.
Yul: It’s so peculiar… it’s an isolated piece of fog.
Wes: Is there anything at the center?
Zach: I’ll check it out.
Zach walks into the fog and instantly appears on the other side.
Zach: Wh- what the heck!
Zach walks into the fog again and instantly returns to Yul and Wes.
Wes: Well?
Zach: I- uh… see for yourselves?
Yul and Wes enter and reappear on the other side, then return.
Yul: We can’t enter it.
Wes: That’s fucking freaky.
Zach: What could be causing this?
Yul: I have no idea; I’ve never even heard of anything like this.
The fog begins to subside.
Zach: Look! It’s going away!
The fog clears, leaving only the man's dead body from the couple.
Zach: Woah… is he…
Wes: Dead?
Yul walks up and checks the body. It’s completely pale, and he sees a vampire bite mark.
Yul: Yes… he’s the newest victim of the Vampire Queen.
Wes and Zach both gulp.
Wes: (Are you kidding me…)
Yul: She’s highly elusive… that’s for sure…
At the underground facility, the Large Man is carrying the woman from the couple, unconscious. She is tied up and gagged.
Scarlett: Put her with the others.
Large Man: Yessir.
Scarlett: The Doctor will be happy to have a new test subject after losing one today.
Scarlett begins walking down the hallways.
Scarlett: (It’s time to bring in my ringer.)
Scarlett reaches a door and knocks on it.
Voice: *muffled* Come in.
Scarlett opens the door. The room is dark with a person sitting in the corner, their identity concealed by shadows.
Voice: Yes, my Queen?
Scarlett: I have a job for you.
Voice: What is it?
Scarlett: I need you to kill a certain someone.
Voice: Who is it?
Scarlett: I think you know who.
The person stands up and begins walking towards Scarlett.
Voice: Does their name start with an H and rhyme with “maze”?
Scarlett: Of course.
The person exits the shadows… It's Ivy.
Ivy: Then I’m your girl.