Markus glanced at the time after he hung up the call. Just after noon. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and now? Now, he was certain he wouldn’t be able to.
With a sigh, he got back into his car, and drove to her retirement home. His mind was so full of broken thoughts and half-formed ideas that he didn’t remember how he had gotten there, much less how he had done so in record time without being stopped by the police.
As he walked into the lobby, he saw the same receptionist he had seen the day before his trip began.
“Mr. Barton? If you’ll come with me, I’ll take you to her.” The receptionist got up and began walking Markus back to a new wing of the center that he hadn’t seen yet.
Markus silently followed the man as he was led to his mother’s new bedside. He stopped in shock as the door opened.
On the bed lay a frail, elderly woman. Gone were the lines of the many smiles she had shared with him. Gone was the sparkle of life in her eyes. Instead, Markus saw a slack mouth and a raspy, if even and deep, breath. Eyes that didn’t seem to register the room she was in, much less his presence, stared at the ceiling. Markus could feel his heart shattering into a hundred shards of sorrow.
Still, this was his mother. The woman who raised him. He owed it to her to be strong, especially when she couldn’t be. He took a deep, steadying breath, closed his eyes and counted to ten.
One. He was a child again, riding a bike for the first time. His mom and dad were watching him with obvious pride.
Two. He’d fallen off his bike and scraped his knee pretty badly. His mom was there almost instantly with soothing words and a hug while his father dressed the wound.
Three. He was in middle school again, getting teased for being overweight and short. Mom saw instantly that something was bothering her son. He remembered the gentle chat they had.
Four. He’d broken her favorite mirror the next week, and was raked over the coals by both her and his father. She never let the punishment go for any longer than it was needed for him to learn the lesson, though.
Five. He'd been laughed out of the gym by the older class because he couldn’t play basketball, and kept bouncing the ball off his foot. That day he vowed to never play another sport again. While saddened, his mom just nodded and supported his decision.
Six. High school. His first girlfriend dumped him because he wasn’t athletic, and was more interested in comic books and cartoons than in sports, cars, or hunting. It was his mom that had given him some useful wisdom. “Never concern yourself with the ones who don’t want to be in your life. You know and I know that they are missing out on a wonderful young man. Let them close that door and you keep walking to the beat of your drum. The rest of your band will find you in time.”
Seven. His father had just passed, leaving the two of them to struggle alone. He had just graduated, and his dad had seen him walk down the aisle. A week later, he was gone. Heart attack, the doctors said. Markus remembered spending many days where he and his mother consoled one another.
Eight. Mom had just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Too late to do anything, but early enough to slow the disease considerably. She just smiled and said, “At least now, I’ll be able to be with your father again. Before I forget everything, I want you to have something.” She had given him the remainder of his dad’s life insurance payment. He immediately stuck it in a separate bank account and promptly forgot about it.
Nine. His mom had fallen again. That was twice this week. She stood back up on wobbly legs and chuckled to herself. Gazing into the concerned eyes of her son, she said, “I’m fine. Don’t worry. You focus on work, and everything will be okay.”
Ten. He couldn’t do it anymore. He had to place her somewhere she could be safe and be watched over constantly. When he checked the mail that day, something made him open the statements from his bank. He’d been getting duplicates for the past couple of years and just kept throwing them away. He knew how much he had.
Until now. He opened one and saw what he expected. His usual statement, almost a carbon copy of what he had seen online. The second, however? It was a savings account with almost a quarter million dollars in it. His father’s final gift to his mother. Comfort at the end of her days.
Markus opened his eyes, barely restraining the roiling ocean within. He slowly walked into his mother’s room, and stood by her side. A nurse came to him and gently pulled him a few inches away from her.
“Sir, you would be well advised to stay a bit farther from her. To you, she may be your mother, but to her, you’re likely going to be a stranger. She may hurt you, and I really don’t think you want that as one of your last memories of her.”
“She’d never hurt me. She’s my mom.”
The nurse sighed. “Everyone says that; usually just before they get violently attacked by their loved one. Please don’t become a statistic.”
Markus swallowed past the lump in his throat. His voice was tight. “Is she even in there anymore?”
“Probably. We just don’t know. She might be in there and just kind of….trapped. Trapped within a prison of her own mind as it crumbles away, leaving her on a small island of Self within an ocean of uncertainty. The woman you know as “Mom” might have gone on weeks ago. We just don’t know.”
Markus laughed ruefully. “I just want to go hold her, you know? Just like she did when I was a kid. She’d just hold me until I was all better. And I can’t. She’s covered in wires and tubes, keeping her alive. I just have to sit here and watch her disappear.” He sniffled and the nurse handed him a box of tissues. He nodded his thanks.
“Unfortunately, that’s probably the safest for both of you.”
“Can I talk to her? Will she respond?”
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
“You can talk to her. She may not be able to respond anymore, but we’ve seen obvious signs of comfort in patients at her stage when they hear the voices of their loved ones.”
Markus nodded and cleared his throat. “Mom? I know you can hear me, and I know it’s probably hard for you to make yourself heard. It’s hard to see you like this mom, but I want you to know that I love you, and I’ll never be terribly far away, okay? I need to go get some business taken care of, some plans made, but I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay? I love you.”
The nurse stood and nodded at him. “That’s probably the best thing you could have said to her. Now, a part of her knows you’re going to take care of things. We’ll call you if anything changes.”
Markus cleared his throat and whispered a strangled “Thank you” to the nurse before walking out of the room and shutting the door. Another member of the staff saw him and stopped.
“You leaving, hun? I can take you to the front if you’d like?”
Markus looked up at her and stared dumbly.
“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you to the lobby where you can have a sit down.” Her gentle tone and thick Southern accent made her sound immediately trustworthy to him. She took his hand and slowly walked with him, matching his plodding strides.
Markus recovered after a moment and looked down at the hand in his. “How did you know?” he murmured.
“Honey, I see it every day. Several times a day, sometimes. You’ve got a parent or a grandparent here, and you just saw them for the first time, didn’t you?”
“Yeah. My mom. She looked just fine last week. Or as fine as she could be, anyway. I’ve been in Japan on business.”
“That sounds excitin’! I bet your mom would be proud of you.”
Markus huffed a laugh. “Yeah. She was excited for me when I told her what was happening. That was the last time I saw the woman I could even vaguely recognize as “Mom”.”
She rubbed his arm. “I know it’s hard, sweet pea. I see it so often. You just blink and” -she snapped her fingers- “suddenly the person you love just isn’t there anymore. Times like this, you need to just turn to whatever it is that gives you strength and you hold on to it, you hear me?”
Markus nodded. “Yeah. That’s… that’s probably the best.”
“Trust me. It is. Here we are, darlin’. Right through those doors will see you in the lobby. You need anything in the future, you just ask for Miss Rai. I’ll help make sure you’re okay, sweetheart. I got to run. Take care of yourself.” Rai wrapped him up in a strong hug, and went off down the hall, taking care of her rounds.
Markus sniffled and opened the door to the lobby. There was a different receptionist at the desk, so he signed out and drove back to the house he had once shared with his mom.
A house that suddenly felt more empty than it ever had before. That thought set his mind to work once more.
He dug through the file folder he and his mother had set up in the days and weeks following her diagnosis. In it was every legal document they thought would be needed once she passed, and in some cases, before she passed. Markus had been made the executor of her estate in the absence of any other suitable relation, and they had also gotten him power of attorney, as it would most definitely be needed. His mom had made sure to involve him in the payments, and had also ensured he was known to the bank as her son. A little familiarity would help during the probate.
As he surfed through the various documents, his phone rang. It was his old job.
“Markus! We were wondering if you’d like to participate in an exit interview for us. Just to, you know, make sure we haven’t done something as a company to run you off.”
Markus chuckled. “I’ve been there for nearly fifteen years, Jody. If y’all were to run me off, it would have happened in the first few weeks.”
Jody laughed. “That’s true. Can you come back today? I understand if you’ve got other things to do.”
“No, no. That’s fine. I don’t start my new job until next Wednesday. I’ll be there in a bit.”
“Great! Thank you so much for being flexible. See you soon!”
Markus hung up the phone and got into his car for the third time.
The interview seemed to be a fairly dry thing, more like a legal ass-covering than anything else. Afterward, he turned in his badge, shook a few more hands and walked out of the building for what was likely the final time.
His stomach finally began to protest its empty state, so Markus went and ate at a burger joint, then headed home for the night.
*****
The next few days passed in a blur. He and Akane chatted a few times, and he even got to talk to Atsuki at one point. It seemed that old man Komamura really was the man that Yamato-san’s father helped when they were younger.
He visited his mother daily. While there was no change in her condition, he could swear he saw more and more light leave her eyes each day. Thankfully, Miss Rai had been working most of those days, so he at least had pleasant company close at hand.
It turned out she was married to a charming man and had a young child whom she dearly loved. Both ladies were diabetic, and managed it fairly well. Her husband was something of a geek, as he loved his video games and a few board games, while her daughter was apparently one of the snarkiest children Markus had ever heard of.
“I swear, she’s just like me. Everyone says so, and to see her grow up without the struggles I did, and with more love than I ever knew existed just melts my heart.” She smiled and sighed. “Oh, but here I go ramblin’ again and not letting you get a word in. So tell me all about it, sweetheart. Tell me stories about your Mama. Let’s make her immortal together.”
Marcus laughed, feeling like he’d met a kindred spirit. “Sounds like something my old Kindred would have done with me. I should probably look them up sometime.”
“Well look at us! Just two little peas in a pod! Well, maybe not little. We’re both on the fluffy side of life. Not too common to find other pagans just out and about. So, how about it? Wanna tell stories about her? Help her remember who she is and let her know she won’t ever be forgotten?”
Markus smiled, nodding his head. “Yeah. I think that’d be best. Stories of one’s deeds go better with a mug of beer or a bottle of whisky, but you’re working and we don’t know each other well enough to go have a drink and tell stories.”
“Oh, that can be fixed right quick. You seem like a good fella, and I’ve talked to my husband about you and your Mama, and he thinks it might be worthwhile to meet you some time. If’n you don’t mind me sayin’ so, you seem a little lonely. Like you need friends.”
Markus nodded. Most of the past ten years had been devoted to helping look after his mom and working to make sure the bills were paid. It left very little time to even talk to people.
“Y’know, that don’t sound like a bad idea at all. I start my new job tomorrow, and I’ll be under some intense training for the next month, but I think I’ll have evenings free. You name the day, and I’ll see if I’m working, and when we could get together, yeah?”
“Excellent! Now that we have that settled, tell me about her.”