Markus smiled at the man across from him. Lucifer simply shook his head bemusedly and resumed eating. Following suit, Markus dug into his meal with gusto.

A few silent minutes passed while the pair ate. Once he had finished as much of his food as he felt appropriate, Markus turned to look out the large picture window to his right, taking in the stark beauty of the winter garden. He sighed contentedly, a soft smile on his face.

“Something on your mind, Markus?” asked Lucifer.

“Not really, Sir. I’m just curious as to how my life will change, now that I’m in the employ of the Universe.” He turned to look his new manager in the eye. “I’m wondering just what I’m giving up, and what I’m gaining,” he said quietly.

Lucifer looked down, his palms flat against the table. He took a slow breath and looked up at his new employee. “I won’t lie to you, Markus. I can’t, really. Lie, that is. Your life will change drastically. Oh, you’ll still be a resident of the mortal world, have no fear. You’ll just be able to interact with far more than you could before, however. You’ll have to, actually. It’s all part of your new role.

“Your employment will officially begin in thirteen days. You may stay here in Japan, if you wish. You can go home and do whatever it is you need to do there. It’s up to you, really. Would you like to hear the details of your new job?” Lucifer asked.

Markus cocked his head to the side. “Just what is your role in the cosmic scheme of things? What is your domain?” Markus responded.

“Ah! A worthy question, indeed,” Lucifer said with a smile.

“I handle all matters pertaining to death and the afterlife for all living things. From the tiniest single-celled organism to the largest creature in the Universe. Oh, yes. There is life beyond your planet. I oversee the death and afterlife for all of them. One group of humans here labeled my domain as evil and bad, thus creating the myth of Lucifer, leading to my current visage.

“Your pagans got it closer to the truth, actually. The Underworld is simply a place of rest for them. Oh sure, some go to Valhalla or wherever, and feast and fight and eat forever, but that isn’t really very relaxing, I think. Everyone gets their paradise or their ‘damnation’, as they will. Some are together, others are not. It’s exceedingly complex and utterly simple at the same time. My task is to make certain everyone gets to where they are supposed to go. Since it’s a monumental task to care for the entire universe, I parcel that job out to various ‘employees’ to take care of and send me the reports,” he said by way of explanation.

“Oh, yes. Paperwork exists for us, too. After a fashion, anyway.”

Markus laughed ruefully, shaking his head with a smile. “I guess I’ll never get away from that, huh?”

Lucifer laughed and shook his head. “Afraid not. We are all held accountable by something. Even the CEO. They answer to something even greater, but only they know and can comprehend what it is.”

Lucifer looked up at the door and spoke in a somewhat raised voice, “We are ready for the next course, please.”

The two women came into the room, smiling. They whisked the used dinnerware away with hardly a sound, refilled the drinks and backed out of the room once more. Lucifer raised a finger at Markus, signaling him to wait a moment.

After approximately five minutes, the pair returned with the next course of the meal, grilled fish. They served the two men, and left once more.

“You know, this is not the usual procedure for Kitcho, Markus. I rented out the entirety of the restaurant for the day. They are to wait near the door for my say so on the next course. I have instructed them to do as they would otherwise and that we are, above all else, patient. It takes as long as it takes,” Lucifer said.

“Just how much are you worth?”

“Nothing. I have no liquid wealth and no physical currency; nor do I need them. You may continue to work your normal job, if you wish, but it will not be needed. You’ll see,” Lucifer said with a smile.

Markus sat there watching Lucifer eat the fish with a disbelieving stare. He looked at his own meal, and slowly took a bite. It was delicious. Lightly charred, with an array of delicate seasonings that beautifully complimented the dish.

Once he had eaten a full skewer, he looked up and asked, “So. What exactly will I be doing, Sir?”

“Don’t worry about the “Sir” bit. I’m not one for honorifics. Just Lucifer is fine. Or I could take on any other guise you’d like. Whatever works best and allows your mind to reconcile with reality.

“As to what you’ll be doing? Well, each of my employees handles a small region of their world. Their own domain, if you will. While I’ve been looking for a long time to fill your particular region, understand that it is not terribly large, by your reckoning. I’ve found it easiest to divide up regions based on what the current geopolitical state is. That is to say, each country and its regions make up separate domains for my employees. In other words, your domain is your entire state of Kentucky. You will oversee the placement of each death that occurs in your region. You’ll not be passing judgment, mind you. You’ll be ushering them toward their afterlife, and handling any complaints that will occur. And they will absolutely complain. Handle that as you will. Once placed, nothing can change it unless the creature wishes to reincarnate, and is allowed to do so. Another ‘department’ handles that. You may further subdivide your region, should it prove to be too much. Several of my agents have had to do just that in the past. Just tell me, and I’ll assist you in the selection process. Does that make any sense?” Lucifer finished.

Markus sat there, contemplatively chewing on the delicious fish. After a few moments, he swallowed the morsel and gazed into Lucifer’s sea-green eyes. “If I’m understanding you correctly, I will be overseeing the placement of each and every creature to die in Kentucky. From the smallest mouse to the largest bear. What of plants?” he asked.

“Plantlife is handled by another ‘division’ in our ‘department’. You will never need to concern yourself with that. Your role will encompass only creatures that can be called mammals. I have other envoys for each of the other classifications of life. Some are quite busy, as you may imagine. You will eventually come to meet almost every mammal in your state,” he replied.

Markus sat and pondered for a moment, a concern growing in his mind. “How in the Hel do you expect me, a mortal, to oversee every single death in my region? Hundreds, if not thousands will die every day. They won’t be nice enough to just wait until I’m awake. How does this department handle that?”

Lucifer smiled broadly. “I do so love a forward thinking man. So! In answer to your question, no. I do not expect you, or any mortal to be capable of doing that. I have twelve agents in each region who cover it in shifts. You will be expected to work for two hours per day. The rest of the time is yours. Yes, there is a generous vacation and benefits package. I will show you how to request time off for whatever you need. A large majority of my agents don’t really request much time off. Just don’t abuse it, is all I ask of you. Anything else?” Lucifer asked, leaning forward with his hands clasped, a soft smile on his face.

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“What kind of compensation am I looking at, Sir? I understand that from your point of view, money is likely a trivial matter but, as I’m sure you’re aware, it isn’t like that for most mortals,” Markus voiced hesitantly.

“Mmm. Yes. The all-powerful dollar. How I despise that particular human invention. Needlessly complicates life, I say. Well, as I have “done the research”, as you lot are fond of saying, we have a rather nice offer for you” -a sheet of paper appeared in his hand, and he slid it face-down to Markus- “that I think you will find agreeable.” Lucifer said softly.

Markus flipped the paper over, seeing a bog-standard offer letter in front of him. As he read it, his eyebrows crept higher and higher on his head. “Is…is this for real?” he asked breathlessly.

Lucifer nodded silently.

“Per hour?”

Another nod.

“Seven days or five?”

“Seven, I’m afraid. You won’t get a day off. Ever. Not unless you schedule it. Of course, bereavement is available as well. Your coworkers -all of whom who you will likely meet- will gladly split up your shifts. Is this an agreeable amount?” Lucifer asked, concern coloring his words.

“Agreeable? Absolutely. Is this the standard offer? Are there raises or promotions available?” Markus asked.

“This is the only offer we make. It is designed to allow any of my agents to live comfortably no matter where they live on your world. There is no raise, no cost of living increase, nothing. I daresay if your cost of living exceeds what we offer, then you either need to mobilize a revolt in your country, or learn to live within your means. As far as promotions go, those are exceedingly rare. Any mortal who is capable of becoming a “demigod”, for lack of a better term, is typically snatched up by the CEO. They do whatever it is they do with them, and that is that. We managers have to then fill that spot,” Lucifer explained patiently.

Markus looked once more at the letter. It was an exorbitant amount of money. He’d never have to worry again. Looking back up at his new manager, he nodded. “Sounds good. Will I be completing my work in my region, or is there somewhere else I have to go?”

Lucifer grinned. He loved this part of the process. “Let us finish our meal, and then I will give you the tour. I think you’re going to enjoy this,” he said.

Markus nodded and smiled. “As long as we return here. Kimura-san will be expecting my call. He and his brother are the two friends I mentioned earlier,” Markus stated.

“Of course! I will not get in the way of friendship. It is a rare commodity in this universe,” Lucifer replied, then raised his voice. “We are ready for the next course, please.”

The pair of ladies returned and began the process of removing the used dishes and refilling their tea. As the elder of the two stood, Lucifer stopped her once more.

“If you would, please serve the rest in the normal fashion. Barton-sama and I have concluded our business, and the rest is celebratory,” he said.

“Wonderful! I am pleased to hear it. We will return,” the older of the two replied with the smallest of smiles.

Markus smiled broadly, dipping his head in acknowledgement. The younger lady shyly looked up at him and whispered softly. “Congratulations, Barton-sama.” She then rose silently with the tea kettle and followed her peer.

Alone with his new employee once again, Lucifer looked appraisingly at Markus. “Well! It seems the young lady might have taken a fancy to you, Markus. I do hope her outburst doesn’t get her in any trouble.” He raised his sake in a toast and Markus joined with his tea. “To Markus Barton. May he live long and die well!” Lucifer exclaimed and sipped his drink.

Markus took a sip of his tea and set the cup down. “Live long and die well, huh? You make it sound dramatic,” he said with a slightly confused look on his face. “Speaking of living, What kind of bonuses or perks do I get with this job?”

“Ah. You will receive the standard package. Immunity to disease and illness, and a greatly increased healing and lifespan. This is standard across the Universe. This isn’t to say that you are immortal. Far from it. You can be injured and broken just like any other human. You’ll heal from injuries nearly five times faster, however. You will not regenerate missing or amputated limbs or digits. That begins today, actually. As for your lifespan, it is essentially infinite as long as you take care of yourself. Be mindful, however. With an increased lifespan comes an increased risk of madness. Do whatever you must to stave it off for as long as possible. I have one employee who has been on the job for nearly a million of your years. They currently oversee a small region in what is now Europe. Remarkably resilient, that one. Most live up to three or four thousand years before asking to be released. It all depends on them. Of course, if you’ve discharged your duties faithfully and properly, you’ll have whatever paradise you wish waiting for you. Or none, if you prefer. The CEO will allow you to permanently end your existence at that point, if you truly wish. Only a handful have done so,” Lucifer patiently explained.

Markus nodded. It sounded too good to be true. “What guarantee do I have that I’m not dreaming or in a coma? This all sounds too good to be true. Too surreal. And you’re telling me that nobody will question the vast amount of cash being deposited into my account every week? What is the pay period?”

In response, Lucifer reached out and took hold of Markus’ right hand. With his left, he made a quick cut on Markus’ forearm with a fingernail. Bright blood welled up from the shallow cut.

“Ow! What the fuck was that for?” Markus exclaimed, putting pressure on the nick.

“My apologies. Pain like that would awaken you from a sound sleep. If you were in a coma, you’d not register the pain. You will be paid on the first of the month, every month. Since you will begin your training in thirteen days, the last day of the month, a prorated payment has already been deposited into your account as an advance for that one day. You will be training for a total of one month. Training will consist of an eight hour day, in which you will interact with four of your immediate coworkers. I apologize in advance for how busy those days will be,” Lucifer said, taking another sip of his sake. “Also, take a look at that cut.”

Markus looked down at his forearm in annoyance. The wound had stopped bleeding and already had a solid scab over it. “Wow. I already heal pretty quickly, but that’s incredible. So, wait. You mean to tell me that I’ve already gotten four thousand dollars put into my account?”

Lucifer grinned and sipped his sake. “Yes. And to answer your other question: We can bend some of the rules. You will no longer have to worry about income taxes, regardless of the country you live in. The local government will take their share and not ask questions nor will you be required, nor even able, to file taxes. It is taken care of on our end,” he said gently.

The door opened once more and the next course was served. Markus and Lucifer talked at length about the job and the benefits until the meal was finished.

Once the final course had been served, Lucifer addressed the servers.

“I would like to thank you for allowing me to monopolize your time. You have been gracious hosts to this humble businessman, and I honor your work today. Thank you.”

The pair smiled and bowed deeply. “We thank you for your patronage, Lucifer-sama. We will withdraw and allow you to collect yourselves.” the elder stated and closed the door.

Lucifer stood, extending his hand to Markus. “Ready to see your new ‘office’?” he asked with a smile.