A dim speck of light reached my eyes, still closed. Brushing my face in anticipation I sat up straight, and as I caught my breath, I ran my fingers in my long hair, freeing up my field of vision. I looked around, wondering what light had woken me but was only welcomed by the dense obscurity of the night. I was sitting in the middle of a clearing, a thin dirt path just past my feet. Instinctively I gathered my legs closer, unfamiliar with the many trees surrounding me.

In a moment of clarity, I understood that it wasn’t the first time I had woken up or dreamt of nature, and more often than not, adventuring and trying to explore my surroundings had only brought danger and fear. Once more I let my eyes examine the darkness around, this time spotting a camp ahead of the small road. Small red embers were scattered in a circle, right next to a tall car. Nearby, its reins tied to a tree trunk, a horse was browsing the ground for food. Now that my eyes adjusted, it was a lot easier to discern shapes and colors, giving the landscape a lot more contrast.

There was a person laying there on the ground, their chest rising and sinking slowly. I decided to carefully walk towards the man, ready to ask him for help, or for directions. The branches and leaves under my feet cracked and broke, sharper bits poking me every now and then. Trying to stay focused, I wondered how I had gotten there in the first place without the various rocks and pieces of wood shredding my soles bare.

I walked for a few minutes until I was close to the car, it seemed like they had set up camp only for the night, as nothing but a few fabric bags and a crate was out, leaning against the wheel of the trailer. The horse furthest from me on the opposite side, was still roaming and eating quietly.

The man, I assumed, was wearing dark clothing and seemed to be laying on a leather sheet. He was keeping a hat with a wide brim on his face but I could still hear the muffled snoring under it. As I studied him I realized a large firearm was next to his hand, I concluded it was best to wake him at a distance and halt my approach.

“Don’t move”

Without thinking I raised open my hands slightly before stopping dead in the motion. The voice came from behind me.

“There’s nothing to steal here, go away”

The strong commands were said in short bursts. I opened my mouth but no words came out, my eyes were stuck on the person laying on the ground. There was a sort of shuffle behind me, the other man behind me seemed to be wielding something in my direction and I didn’t know if it meant I wasn’t supposed to see the sun rise tomorrow.

“I-” I started, before reality shook me once more. After a violent pull, I woke up in Merille’s bed, unable to breathe without panicking.

~

After a long pause where I allowed my brain to tumble and try to make sense of what I had just seen on its own, I took a deep breath and sat up on the bed. I was now facing the windows awkwardly letting the sunlight in here and there. I closed my eyes a few times, looking around in between. I was still in the house, I was safe. It seemed like a nice day was waiting for me outside, and a mountain of chores left from the day before.

I let my eyes rest on the bed right under me. Vague memories were trying to emerge, of me wandering the forest at the dead of night. I woke up in bed, perfectly fine, my feet clean. For a moment, I asked myself if those dreams had only occurred while I was sleeping in my bedroom, one door down from the master, but I concluded that they hadn’t. For a moment I feared that I couldn’t move, mobilizing all of my strengths to think about what had happened and if it was worth worrying about.

After a long sigh, I stretched my legs and stood up straight. Toby was nowhere in sight; I assume he had already escaped from the property and was roaming in some place or other. I decided to start my day with a quick bite, and while I would have breakfast, I would start to prepare something more substantial for the next couple of days. There were a few recipe books in the office that I knew had really easy meals for me to put together, so I would start from there.

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I adjusted my blouse and put on a pair of overalls that weren't completely torn to pieces by time, and left the master bedroom for the office. After swinging the double doors open, I approached a section of the shelving, and let my finger caress the colorful spines of the many books in front of me. I had read these many times; they had been incredibly valuable to me as I learned how to read more and more difficult tomes. I was now a lot more confident in my abilities and I could read research pamphlets and medicinal publications from upcoming doctors on this side of the country, or as they were usually referred to as Healers. After browsing the first two columns, I moved on to another panel, further in the office. There I found encyclopedias grouped in themes, from alembic crafts and botany to cures. Soon, I reached a larger spine with bright illustrated letters, the Atlas. I took it from the shelf and rested it on my right arm, as I casually continued to browse.

Soon I reached another level where a few recipe books of various sizes and thickness were waiting patiently. I decided to stick to something I knew and slipped out one of the most worn books, piling it up on top of the Atlas. Before I left, I took a look around and examined each corner of the room, anticipating something. As I looked, a thin purple booklet caught my attention, sitting low on the shelves. After a couple of steps, I bent over and slid it out of its place, where it left a darker spot free of dust.

With a relieved sigh, I closed the lid on the terracotta pot I had set on the furnace. It had taken me an embarrassing amount of time to get the fire going under it, but now that it was alive it would carry on until the meal was done. I closed the recipe book sitting on the counter nearby, making sure to leave a wooden spoon right over the page I was reading until then: Porkened’ roots: Honey.

We had run out of meat a month ago, when I realized that animal protein seemed to make Merille’s condition worse. After I ate the last piece of candied meat, we decided not to order more until she would be cured, but that day never showed. We had opted for natural protein we could get delivered at the supply station just as easily. It came in blocks of various sizes, wasn’t particularly flavorful, but brought us enough nutrients that it simply made sense to switch over. Thankfully, we could replace animal protein with it in most recipes, and I had grown accustomed to the taste.

I decided to resume my breakfast now that the most important thing of the day was essentially taken care of. I sat back down on the kitchen stool and grabbed the piece of buttered bread I’d made myself moments ago.

I sat there for a few minutes, simply breathing in and out and drafting a mental inventory of how I would occupy myself today. Almost mechanically, I stood up and made sure the lid on the pot was secured, before walking out of the kitchen and out of the front door with a book under my arm.

Still working on the piece of bread, I walked for a moment, I paused briefly and examined the front yard. Everything was perfectly where I had left it before, a calm breeze ruffling through the various trees around the property. The wisteria on the north side of the garden was almost fully orange, ready for fall and winter.

After my quick inspection I walked some more towards the rose bushes on the other side of the green house. A small mount of dirt was resting there. I decided to sit down against the wooden wall part of the green house, and continued on my breakfast until it was done.

I still had many things to ask Merille. She had revealed to me when I first woke up how everyone in this place had this ability to be great and do good, and for some time I believed her. It was comforting to think that I had a purpose and a value, and that if I really believed in myself, I would achieve what I was brought here to do.

The truth was, even if this place had magic, if it was somehow possible to create flames out of ash and love out of grief, I wasn’t anyone special. The little I’d learned under her tutelage had taken me years to master, and to this day I still made many silly mistakes. Over the years, the knowledge I had accumulated was very superficial. I knew how to create a few ointments, prepare teas and infusions to cure benign ailments; that was the extent of it.

I had no idea the contracts and clients she took care of, she wrote a journal that she stored next to her bed, and maybe if I could find it, I could honor some of the requests. I would, if I knew how to fulfill them, but then, I’d have to leave the house, and go off to… wherever she went during her trips. Did I want to do that? Did I want to wander off in the distance, leaving the comfort and safety of this place?

I threw my head against the wall I was resting my back on and opened my eyes wide to the sky. I was still tired for some reason.