I briefly looked down at the cat then back at her silhouette disappearing from the room, soon the room was quiet again. The cat was hardly moving, his slow breathing calming down with each stroke on his side. Without disturbing him, I pulled the blanket over me and laid close to the small cat.
“Toby” I whispered to help me remember.
The night was still thick outside, and the tall tree tops were now gently waving at me on the other side of the window. As I breathed in, I realized that the memories and pain I had traded for this new life cost my previous family their life.
It was quiet here. There were no kids playing or laughing, and everything that was familiar was gone. If the scars on my back and the dirty pajamas I was wearing meant anything, there was going to be a life before, and after the fire. Was it right to mourn everybody that long after they had passed? Was I allowed to live this life after they died so cruelly?
Most of my fears about this place had quieted down already. Merille wasn’t the woman I thought she was, she was kind and comforting. It didn’t seem all that important now to know how or why I arrived here, maybe I'd ask tomorrow. The flesh would heal, the pain would fade, and I would grow carrying the memories of my family with me into the new one.
~
A loud whistle rang a few times and a faint tremor shook me out of my rest. I rubbed my eyes to clear my vision but it took me a few seconds to understand where I was.
Darkness was all around me and the floor I was still laying on was uneven and wet. Quickly I stood up, outside, in the forest. The patches of forests and various hills around looked nothing like the mental map I drew looking out of the window earlier. I felt a few branches crack under my bare feet. There was no light around me and Merille’s house was nowhere in sight. I looked down at my feet hoping to find Toby curled up next to me but it seemed like I was the only one here, in these parts of the woods.
I stood there breathing for a while, scanning my surroundings with caution. Breathing in and out was almost deafening and my blood was beating my temples so hard I couldn’t put a thought behind the other. Suddenly, far ahead of me, a heavy man’s voice crashed in the night like thunder.
The scream echoed around me and it seemed that the commotion was just behind a few trees in front of me. I considered screaming myself, for help, but decided to get an idea of who was near before making myself known. I carefully stepped in the voice’s direction, crouching enough not to stick out in the dying night’s stillness.
Before long, a faint shimmer pierced in between the branches. There was a strange dance coming from a small clearing. A tall figure in a long cloak was fighting a shadow, frozen in space. I sank slowly closer to the tall grass, until my knees touched the damp leaves.
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The sound of metal hitting the strong shell of this mass was frightening and striking me. I couldn’t speak or move but look at the fight happening, my mouth gaping at the sight. The grunting seemed to be coming from the hooded silhouette. The man was quick on his feet and strong but I had the dreaded feeling that this was all pointless, and that his life was dangling by a thread hanging thinner with every sword hit. My eyes were tracking him and his every move, as he suddenly stopped and turned in my direction swiftly. The beast was charging straight at me.
~
A beaming ray of sun shook me out of the stupor, and once again I was laying alone in bed under the warm blanket. The bright light coming from outside was kind and reassuring, and the house itself was less scary, bathed in daylight. I had no idea what time it was exactly, but the intensity of it all looked like midday. Soon any memory of a nightmare faded away.
I hopped out of bed and noticed the heavy curtain from where Merille found Toby earlier that night, even in daytime blended with the painted walls nicely. I pulled open the door more confidently this time around and made my way downstairs.
The house seemed empty once again but a lot less menacing. The door at the end of the hallway wasn’t emitting the same hue as last night and it was closed, so I decided to sneak out later and see what it was really about. From the corner of my eyes, through the big kitchen window, I saw the old woman’s silhouette hunched over a patch of flowers outside.
“Hi-i!” I let out as loud as I could, waving a hand in her direction.
“Florian! Hi there, girl!” She waved a gloved hand back, smiling as big as she could. “The front is open”
As she continued, she pointed her wrist to my left and nodded a couple of times.
I turned back quickly and jogged in the direction she pointed at, passing the kitchen. There I discovered a small open room where a heavy wooden door was shut. I laid my hand on the metal knob and turned it until it released the door.
The fresh air from outside welcomed me as I joined Merille. She was kneeling next to a patch of violets, removing weeds and placing them in a weave basket.
“How’d you sleep?” She asked, planting her trowel in the soil.
“Alright I think” I kneeled next to her and pulled a weed out.
“How’s your arm?” She fired again.
“It’s not too bad” I lightly tapped my bruised shoulder with my right hand as a demonstration.
“All that traveling did a number on you. It was my first time pulling someone out!” She laughed while working. I wasn’t sure if this joke was for me to laugh at. “I was going through my old clothes this morning. Found some things that just might fit you. If you want, of course.”
I nodded happily, it didn’t really matter that these were old or already worn out. It would be the first time I didn’t wear the same two shirts and same two pants, matching everyone around.
“Tomorrow, if you’re up to it, I asked a good friend to come and make you some. I know he has fabric laying around. They always do” Merille’s eyes were still carefully planted on the violets, I looked at her inquisitively. “Tailors! Tailors, of course!”