“You’re alright, you’re fine now.” A voice erupted by my side. I breathed heavily, the smell of burnt clothes and skin still too present. I grabbed my throat tightly, looked around and screamed at the memory of the inferno.

As I cried and called for Merie and my siblings, a gentle embrace enveloped me. It felt cold but serene. I sobbed as the presence held me, slowly the fear dissipated as my eyes adjusted to the light around.

“It hurts” I started. My throat and eyes felt like sandpaper. Between breaths swallowing was like eating shards of glass.

“I will be back, just stay here” A frail hand lifted my chin gently. Before I could discern the face in front of me from the tears, they disappeared behind a wooden door that creaked gently as it closed.

Not sure if still in a dream, I looked around the room once more, clearing my eyes with each blink. What was this place? It was hard to recognize anything in the room, the sheets under my fingers were heavy and colorful.

I ran my finger tips on the fabric and I could feel the love and care weaved into it. I guessed it was wool, and pulled it up closer to me. It smelled a little of lavender and it reassured me, even for a moment. I laid back on the soft bed, burying myself in the pillow. There was something comforting in the weight of the throw, it was almost shielding me from the outside world.

The silence around was sometimes interrupted by tweets and songs from the birds outside, it was bright and sunny. The light shining from the window was peaceful and forgiving.

I fell into a daze where everything melted together. I pulled the blanket above me to cover my face. I peeked through once, fearing to see the roaring flames again calling my name. A timid ray of light reached me, but I shut it down quickly.

Everything was different, and scary. In the darkness of my little enclave, for a moment I wondered if it all was a dream: the flames, the screams and the heat.

Before I could fall back asleep, the door swung open, and footsteps came in and stopped close to the bed.

“Are you still up?” The feminine voice asked again.

Fearful of the consequences of my reply, I held on to the covers, tightening the pocket of warmth that was surrounding me. A light hand laid on my leg as the voice continued.

“This will help, for your throat. It’ll make you feel better.”

The cadence was about the same as Mother’s in a way, but the tone was friendly and reassuring, closer to Merie. As the gentle pressure on my lower leg lifted, I heard the light bounce of a mug next to the bed. I paused for another minute there, waiting for an instruction.

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After a sigh, the footsteps grew further away. The door opened and closed quickly and I took it as a signal. I opened a little window and looked at what had been brought to me. It smelled of honey and roses, and was timidly smoking, a few inches away from me. It didn’t look like a store bought cup, it was a little misshaped and bumpy, but the blush color glaze on it was inviting.

I pulled the blanket away to welcome the fresher air of the room, and bent to reach the cup. It wasn’t too hot. I brought it close to my chest while I sat, my back against the head of the bed. I breathed in the vapor of the tea before stopping still. They hadn’t left.

“What’s your name?” They asked towards me, leaning on the door.

“Florian,” I replied without looking at them.

“Drink up, I bet you have a few questions.” As soon as they stopped, they grabbed a chair from the back of the room and set it next to the bed. Moaning as they sat, they sighed once while crossing their arms, facing me. I gulped the tea a couple of times, each mouthful easing the pain in my throat.

“What is this place? I have never been in this part of the Infirmary” I started. I blinked quickly in an effort to clear my eyes some more. The details of the face next to me appeared more clearly.

“Infirmary? I hope my bedroom is a little nicer than that.”

It was hard to guess how old this woman was. Her face was kind enough, her eyes were a deep brown, with shimmers of honey. Her gaze was certain and piercing me. Her lips were full and pulled on her cheeks in a tight smile. On top of her hair was a messy bun where pieces of white and auburn hair were interlacing. Little pearls hanging from her ears.

“Sorry” I let out holding the cup closer to me.

“What for? I was just joking” She finished her sentences quickly, in short bursts. In between her questions she smiled lightly.

“I had a really bad dream last night. Is this why I’m here?” Somewhere inside, I wasn’t sure if the answer would be kind.

“Well, about that. I’m gonna need you to listen carefully. It’s kind of a long story.” There was almost an accent to her voice, a raspiness that showed her age a little. She leaned closer to me and rested her palms on her knees. “A few months ago, there was a fire. I couldn’t save the other kids; I hope you understand. I grabbed you and got you here, but I wasn’t expecting it to take such a toll on you.”

She stopped abruptly and leaned again on the back of the chair, seemingly done. I wasn’t sure if my mind was foggy enough that making sense of what she just said was off the table. She smiled quickly and looked at me again.

“What do you mean?” I coughed.

“Well,” She started, “I pulled you from that room as fast as I could. I think that’s why you’re so beat. Your soul was fighting so hard, I had no choice but to help you”

I wanted to cry, none of what I was hearing made a drop of sense.

“Why are you confused?” She crossed her arms and shook her head lightly.

“I want to go home please.” I shivered, trying to keep my voice audible. “I don’t know why I’m here”

“I understand that all of this is very new to you, but I have a few other things to tell you. You have a lot to learn”

I couldn’t control myself or the shivers going down my spine. I didn’t know this place, or this woman. She wasn’t sweet like the Big Sisters; she wasn’t familiar like Mother. I didn’t want to talk anymore, I just wanted to go back to sleep and forget everything that had happened. Above all I wanted to go back to the sweet routine we had all learnt to enjoy at the Orphanage, growing up in the familiarity of the system. My birthday was in a few weeks.