“WHAT IN THE MUK HAPPENED THERE!?” Goldie exclaimed as she swam of downstream, Ditto holding on to her back for dear life.

“THEY WERE TRYING TO KILL ME! THEY WERE TRYING TO FUCKING KILL ME! THEN MEW TWO! A FUCKING MEW TWO SHOWED UP! OAK HAS A FUCKING MEW TWO!” Ditto screamed through the water as bubbles rushed out of his mouth, beady eyes wide and shaking. “TEAM ROCKET WAS TRYING TO KILL ME! OAK IS A MOTHER FUCKER! MEW TWO WAS GONNA KILL ME! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!?”

“OKAY OKAY!” Goldie slowly came to a stop where the beach started, “Get off!” She said, spinning about and throwing Ditto off. “Slowly man, what happened?” She asked.

“Okay okay!” Ditto took in a deep watery breath, before unleashing himself. “SoIsnuckintothelabthenthisbitchcameinforherstarterandIhadtotakeitoutofcommisionand-”

Goldie just blinked and stared.

“IcopieditbarelyandtriedtoactlikeitthebitchactuallybeleiveditsowesetoffbutthenteamrocketshowedupandtriedtokillusthenMEWTWOSHOWEDUPAND-”

Goldie slapped him, causing Ditto to suddenly start screaming and gushing out all the water he previously breathed in, so she back-slapped him.

Rising to the surface and taking in another deep breath, “Holy shit I needed that, okay, alright…Phew-”

Goldie slapped him again.

“I’m calm! The fuck was that for!?” Ditto asked.

“Better safe than sorry.” Goldie reasoned.

“You…Aight, k, good point. Anyway, I got it!” Ditto then exclaimed, pulling two items out of the sludge that made up its body.

Causing Goldie to squirm and cringe, “What…are those?”

Ditto raised the key, “This will give us access to the lab, any time, so we can go back there at night and grab some other stuff. On the other tentacle…” He then raised a strange pair of metal earphones connected by wires and LEDs. “This, was my original objective.”

Goldie glanced it up and down, “How will that exactly help me evolve?”

“It will help me help you, to be precise.” Ditto then corrected, “With this on me, while you are in my party, you will gain a percentage of the experience I gain from combat.”

“Okay…I don’t understand what experience has anything…Oh, oh right the longer a Magikarp lives the higher the chance of it evolving…Wait so this thing will age us faster through combat?” Goldie then asked.

“No no, basically you’ll gain combat experience without having to engage in combat, which is what will help you evolve. At least, that’s how I hope it works in this world.” Ditto mused.

I don’t exactly have an experience bar or any kind of game-like UI myself so…

“Gah, at this point? I’ll try anything.” Goldie admitted.

“Awesome, question is though, how do we form a party?” Ditto then pondered, “I mean, normally I’d have to catch you and have you on-hand…”

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“C-Ca-Catch MEEEEEKKK!?” Goldie freaked out at that word, suddenly grabbing Ditto with her fins and squashing his beady face. “YES! THAT’S IT!”

“WHAT?!” Ditto shouted in confused response.

“CATCH ME!” Goldie shouted.

“OKAY!” Ditto shouted back.

“REALLY!?” Goldie asked in loud surprise.

“YES, YES, NOW LET ME GO!” Ditto exclaimed.

“OH SHIT, SORRY!” Goldie continued to shout as she let him go and apologise.

“WHY ARE WE SHOUTING!?” Ditto then asked, floating off from her fins.

“Oh, sorry…” Goldie apologised, turning redder, “It’s just I realised that would be the perfect solution to trainers hunting me down for being shiny! If I’m already caught then most of them will fuck off!”

“Oh, huh.” Ditto mused.

Goldie’s eyes narrowed, “You just realised that too didn’t you?...”

“Oh no…no I definitely thought of that before…” Ditto bullshitted.

“Aha, sure. So…” Goldie then mused.

“Well, now I need a pokeball.” Ditto added.

“Will that one do?” Goldie asked, pointing at one of many pokeballs laying on the river’s bottom.

“What…why are those…” Ditto began to ask in confusion.

“That’s what happens when a trainer fails to catch a water pokemon,” Goldie mused with a shrug.

“Collect as many as you can hold into a pile,” Ditto told her, and the gathering began, as one by one they began gathering them into a pile to the side of the river entrance.

No more than half an hour later, they had a hill of about forty pokeballs before them.

“That’s…just the ones in the vicinity?...” Ditto mused from above as Goldie swam about the pile counting.

“Yeap, trainers are too lazy to recover them.” Goldie answered, “Forty three here, eight broken though.”

“So thirty five working pokeballs, aight, take the broken ones and a single working one out of the pile.” Ditto said and Goldie did as told.

“Alrighty, now what?” Goldie asked, as she watched Ditto then stop flapping his tentacles.

“Now, I’ll try something…” Ditto mused as he sank down towards the pile.

Question; Am I in a Pokemon world based on the tv series. Or. Am I in a Pokemon world based on the games? This, will answer that very question!

Ditto thought to himself, as he then proceed to constantly think of storing the pokeballs.

As slowly he reached the pile, making touchdown on the first ball, it suddenly disappeared into his slimy body.

Then the next did the same.

And the next.

And the rest.

The entire pile of pokeballs disappeared into Ditto’s body.

Opening his beady eyes, Ditto glanced about, seeing no pokeballs but feeling that he had them somewhere inside.

I’m in a fucking game world.

…

FUCK YEAH!

He thought, suddenly breaking out into a strange tentaclely dance, involving shaking his non-existent booty about, twirling one tentacle and spinning the other about.

Goldie just watched in deep confusion, she already knew that storing objects was possible for humans but pokemon could only store one item…She had just watched a Ditto store an entire pile.

“How did you…do that?” Goldie asked, “I can only hold one item! Only trainers can do that!”

“Wait, really?” Ditto then asked as he continued to dance, “Huh, guess it really works like that! Maybe cause I’m not a normal Ditto and…”

I’m human on the inside!

“And?” Goldie said with a raised brow.

“Anyway, now it’s time!” Ditto changed the subject, moving towards the last pokeball as he continued to dance, as part of his sick moves he grabbed hold of it with both tentacles and spun it about.

Before letting it go towards Goldie, “Go pokeball!” Ditto exclaimed.

And Goldie’s eyes widened, her pupils expanding at the sight of a very slow moving pokeball, coming her way.

PTSD kicked in.

And Goldie flailed the fuck out, slapping the pokeball aside with her tail.

Ditto paused his dancing and just watched as the Magikarp flipped the fuck out, screaming and flailing around.

Several moments passed, as slowly Goldie calmed down, taking in a deep breath before turning her eyes to Ditto.

“Now now…this is for your own good!” Ditto said, holding out a pokeball per tentacle.

He had a lot of tentacles.

“Oh…Oh no…OH ARCEUS NO!” Goldie exclaimed, losing her shit once more, she turned tail and swam.

But it was too late.

As a barrage of pokeballs rained down upon her from above, one finally hit her on the head.

Goldie screamed, loudly she screamed, as her form went red and was absorbed into the pokeball.

Ditto sank down to the ball that caught her, returning all the other balls into his ‘inventory’ he then took hold of it.

Rising back up to the surface, “Now…time to hunt down some pokemon!” He told himself with a wide grin.