Rich woke up in a fairly comfortable bed, cleaned off, and with a plain stained tunic that was too big on him. The trousers were rough and far too large with the string that acted like a belt synched as tight as it could be. Rich then realized he was awake, sat up, and immediately regretted the quick movement. his head pounded, vision was a little blurry, ears were ringing. he could tell I was not at full health and as soon as I thought about that a tiny 10/10 health bar popped up in the top right part of his vision with multiple debuffs underneath that reminded me my need to practice moderation in the future. Rich got pissed off and told the stupid HUD to "go the fuck away". The Hud did obey.

  Then it clicked. Everything rich experienced the night before was real. It wasn't a dream and Rich felt very betrayed by being thrown into the world in such a terrible way. he slowly got to my feet and noticed a clay glass of what looked like Tea next to "his" bed. Light was streaming in through a fairly large window and it looked like I was on the 2nd floor in a pretty sparse but functional room. Rich had to hold his pants up with one hand and grasped at the tea. It tasted slightly herbal and his mind seemed to know what the mixture was without my conscious thought being aware. he felt like if he was in a better shape and stopped to think about it I probably could figure out the healing herb in the tea was but as he was now he didn't have the brain power to spare and it just felt too good to drink it. Rich started with a tiny sip but it was like his body and mind were taken over and he just gulped down the whole thing and his status debuffs all changed to being over in about 10 seconds. Rich felt really stupid then when he stopped to consider that he was in a new world and he felt he might actually know anything about it.

  Shortly later rich got over his stupidity and felt amazing. he had the urge to contemplate life and it dawned on him. "I was a cleric. I have to reflect or pray for an hour at the start of the day to have access to my spells". Rich sat down cross legged in the sun coming through the window and placed my hands in a Buda like position trying to focus only on his breathing. he didn't know if this was how this thing worked but it seemed like a good try. It didn't work.

  Then Rich started thinking about preparing spells and he only saw the cantrips he had already chosen the cantrips Guidance, mend, Holy fire, and minor wonder. he thought it was a good mix of utility, support, and offensive ability. Mend would let Rich fix things and hopefully let him keep his shoes repaired in a society that doesn't have mass disposable items like he had grown use too. Guidance seemed to be a bit more esoteric but the description from Jack essentially seemed to mean it would help other people increase in their skills. "Guidance can open doors and save more lives than a healing spell ever can" was what the grandpa, maybe even Santa, like Jack had told him. Now that Rich was thinking about it he was finding it hard to remember Jack or that whole conversation. "I knew back in table top games I had played that bards basically aided their party on skill checks and that seemed to be a weaker spell. It was a cantrip so I figured it would be worth picking up since bards were really cool.... I just couldn't sing" Rich thought. Holy fire seemed like really the only damage cantrip worth picking. There were some options that were better against Faerie creatures or undead but they all had pretty big penalties for using the spell against anything not of that type of creature. It also seemed like I could use holy fire to conjure a small flame in my hand and use that to start fires, which seemed like a super convenient and probably life saving utility part of the spell. When he was young he learned to start a fire with a fire bow or with flint but that was over 2 decades ago and it was a big pain in the ass. If Rich was ever out in the wilderness and didn't have supplies it would be super hard to survive. Minor magical wonder seemed like a magical ribbon feature. It seemed to be really just a catch all for minor magical training exercise. Rich intuitively knew he could use it to summon lite, make a temporary illusion, or a flame.... Or a flame. It dawned on Rich that "I could have chosen a different offensive spell because I'd innately have the ability to make flames with minor magical wonder. Opse, but come on throwing fireballs at stuff was cool I probably would have chosen that any way". After all "What's the point of living in a fantasy world if you don't do cool shit every once in a while - Abraham Lincoln, 1860" thought Rich. Rich wondered if anyone on the new world or universe would know who Abraham Lincoln was. If not what about Albert Einstein. He knew he was going to have to bring the art of making up fake bullshit quotes to this world if he had the chance.

  Rich didn't expect to be doing much today other than getting use to Sneles and meeting people but he did try to see the list of all basic spells he had access too. he couldn't. All he knew is that I could cast 6 basic spells a day and that if he wanted to cast a none cleric spell that I knew I would have to prepare those ahead of time. Rich intended to cast find familiar and too his surprise also had access too charm person. Find familiar would find a creature my level that would help me and he thought charm person might possibly make someone like me or improve my charismatic persona. He prepared both and intuitively knew he could cast generic heal or cleansing spells with the other slots. Or maybe he hoped because if he only had two none healing spells he was fucked. He also hoped casting cantrips didn't count towards that number and it seemed intuitive that since they were in his mind as cantrips that it would be pretty safe bet. So far everything seemed intuitive.

  Rich noticed a small mail icon in the bottom right of his HUD. He promptly said "Screw that shit" and ignored it. As if it was a response someone politely knock on "his" door and before he could get up the door opened and a smiling female face poked into the door. The lady had bright vivid red hair and a too big smile on her kind face with some slightly crooked teeth and a fairly frazzled pony tail. She looked like she was maybe slightly older than rich but she seemed to have aged well. Before he could speak she started off by saying "oh heavens you're awake. We were starting to get worried about ya. I am Sally and my husband and I own this inn. I take it by the way you entered the world that you don't remember too much from the tutorial. Most people seems to know better than to try to do the tutorial drunk but they do come by every once in a while. The Mayor does provide a fund for new adventurers so don't worry about paying for the room or food for a bit. When you get a moment come on down and say hi. My husband should be at the bar if you need anything and I'll be runnin around" before darting back out the door and into the next room. A little bit of water sloshed from a bucket she had and splashed across the floor "Oh my bad. Sorry about that in a bit of a hurry to get the extra rooms cleaned up now that we've got customers staying over. You should go use the wash basin and see if you have any clothes in your inventory. The clothes you had are still quite soiled and my husband gave you a set of his old under clothes".

  Rich had assumed the clothes I woke up in were my starting clothes but apparently that was not the case. He felt very relived that he presumably still had his shoes, but now that he thought of it he might not. Most Motels did have that little cloth thing at the end of the bed for when you want to lay down with boots on but Rich generally always took his boots off. He did basically just walk in from going to the front desk and start drinking so in his mind he couldn't remember if he had shoes. Good modern day shoes were not an option for Rich. Walking around everywhere with sandals on seemed like "hippy bullshit" too him. What if he needed to kick something? He's much rather have his steel toed boots in that case.

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  While hearing Sally hummed in the background Rich stood in the door and tried to will open his inventory and holy crap the interface popped up with a bunch of stuff in it. It looks like my earth clothes were not among them. Rich had a set of chainmail, leather bracers, a holy book with blank pages, a dull golden knife and a little hook, a set of gray vestments, a large hammer with a spike on one end with inlayed gold filigree, a fairly small buckler, a larger tower shield in white with a red cross under a golden star, a set of white and red vestments, a white mace like thing, herbs, incents, a bowl, blanket, camping pack, two water skins of water, one water skin of wine, two kinds of rope, a bar of soap, a bucket, what looked like a lock pick set, a set of black casual clothes, a black hoodie, a vial of holy water, a white fez, a green shirt, some jeans, some hard tack, a pair of sturdy boots, some salt, jerky, a chefs knife, an axe, a WARM bowl of soup, a towel, and a second backpack. What was the point in the backpacks if he had internal storage? It made no sense. Why was there so much stuff in black and white? Rich hadn't been a goth since middle school. Two hammers, a hatches, a set of chain mail? I am a cleric. It was daunting all the excessive junk he now had. He was afraid there would be more junk inside the backpacks. What happens if you put something with internal storage inside something with internal storage? Does it break the two storage devices or does blow up and cause a black hole. Rich tried to remember back to TTRPG games he had played and he was certain he did not want to make that mistake.

  Rich started by pulling out the casual green shirt, blue jeans, and sturdy boots. he started to put on the pants and then realized he had no socks or under garments. A second and Rich saw he had no less than 5 different pairs of socks and 6 pairs of under wear in different colors and materials. he chose the softest pair of underwear and they were a tight boxer design with green and purple flowers on the material. It was silly. Among my dragons horde of war implements he also was given a freaking pair of flowery boxers. They were comfortable though and the socks seemed nice and sturdy too and with out being itchy. Rich got dressed in the blue jeans and tied them in place with a belt he found which was really just a small piece of rope. "What distinguished this piece of rope as a belt and the other piece as rope. They were both just rope" rich thought.

  Rich threw on his new green shirt over top and he couldn't get past the incongruity of the situation. He had blue jeans, leather boots with padding, and a damn cotton shirt. He expected scratchy uncomfortable clothes like he woke up in. Maybe some furs and leather that chafed. Maybe a thick cotton Gee and hand tied black belt. He was not prepared for comfortable and practical casual ware, not that he was bitching about that of course. Rich realized there was a holy symbol necklace in his inventory. It looked like little crest in the forum of a feather and stick crossed somewhere near the middle with a little circle going around the outside. The detail was stunning and after looking at it for a second Rich felt the need to put the light necklace on and under his shirt. There was so much more shit in the inventory that Rich would have to sort that out later. He assumed most of it had to be useless shit worth nothing since it was all starter gear but he guessed he could pawn it for food if that ever became an issue. It was so daunting with the endless supply of shit that he questioned if he would ever actually go through it or if he would just die somewhere in the woods because he was too lazy to clean his inventory out and find the useful junk like healing potions. Rich was a guy, he knew the answer.

  It's at that point Rich realized how sticky he felt. It felt like he had been in a fevered sleep for hours and there was likely to not be any shower anywhere. Mend to the rescue as Rich willed the cantrip to target himself and attempt to clean all the gunk and grime off his body. It worked wonders and he felt much better. I know from other stories some adventurers go way over board with magic potions of cleaning or trying to find a never ending container to put hot water in so they can make a shower. Rich felt like that was a lot of effort in a magical society and felt much superior since he could wave a hand and basically clean anything. Hell he wish he had this ability back on earth he could have just started casting it on every person he walked by at conventions or card game tournaments. Rich was pretty sure he was the only person there who showered which just meant he soon started smelling like the Con. It would take weeks for the Con smell to go away, he was certain of that. Now that's no problem. Fuck deodorant. Rich has magic bitches.

  Dressed like he was going into the office instead of in a medieval fantasy world rich headed down stairs. In his bewilderment and monologuing it looks like Sally finished up her cleaning and headed back to the kitchen. Rich felt like a dick thinking that. She did say she ran the Inn though so he guessed it wasn't sexist. He wondered if sexism was even a thing here. He'd save the self hate for later.

  It felt like it was mid to late morning and when he descended down the narrow creaky stairs there were only a few chairs and tables filling in the pretty large main area of the inn. There was a beautiful stone fireplace off on the far wall with a bear rug laid out in front of it. Booth like tables were along the closer wall and they seemed to offer some nice privacy and tables were scattered around. The bar had a huge wooden counter top that looked to be hewn from one tree and the bar stools looked to be made out of logs too. Large deer and bore heads hung on some of the walls and sprinkled in some spring themed reefs and candles were lit to give the inn a nice cozy feel. There were some lite conversations that continued on uninterrupted when rich went up to the bar and sat down. The climate was comfortable and the lighting was perfect and not too dim.

  The gruff bar tender walked up to me and said "Aye are you the new guy?". This guy looked rough. He had a couple healed over scars on his face with a deep dark beard and hard set eyes. Rich took a second and noticed a large knife, maybe even a short sword, on his hip and a bow hung up on the wall behind him. Rich knew instinctively that he was not happy some reason. Rich didn't know what he could have done but he looked like someone who could kick his ass without much effort with a bold barreled chest with muscles on muscles that only comes from years of hard work. Rich on the other hand looked like an IT nerd. He changed to be "in shape" when he chose the new character but "in shape" and "I kick ass for a living" are two very different things.

  Rich sheepishly replied "Yes I am" and before I could say anything else he shouted "Are ye daft? I knew you were the new guy. I was asking what the fuck you were doing in here instead of cleaning the vomit soaked clothes that have been stinking up the back closet for 2 days now. Get off your ass and go take care of them. The wash basin is out back and here's a brush and rag. If you think Sally will do it for your lay about wizard spell caster ass because she's nice you're sorely mistaken".

  Trying to not get his ass beat and the bartender having a very valid point that it was his mess Rich nodded, grabbed the cloth and brush, and started to get up to walk to the back of the bar to find and clean his clothes. As Rich was getting up he noticed in the corner of hid eye that a massive wolf was going to walking into the front of the bar. Teeth bare with blood all around the muzzle. Rich didn't think and started to cast Holy fire targeting the Wolf and quickly blacked out as the bartender slammed a mug into the back of his head and Rich immediately collapse.