I woke up in a field of stars. In space. Dots of light all around me. I don't mean like a cool interesting artistic stylized picture from space where an artist has colored it and the nebula looks amazing and beautiful. No I mean just black and stars. The stars were bright and causing my head to throb. I couldn't really look around effectively and my head was swimming. It was too much. Anything left in my stomach was out. Projectile vomit that had enough force to move my body backward and start me spinning slightly even before I doubled over a bit due to the wrenching pain. Oh and now there was more spinning in 0G and holy hell everything is going to be coming up. If I was smart I would have realized this was not just a fucked up dream and that I just got vomit everywhere all over myself and around me in fucking space. That I was going to fucking die in the cold vacuum of space because I got spam email from a fucking space Elf that tricked me into killing myself. I am not smart. I am fucking stupid and just because I vacated the 3/4th of a liter of shit vodka I had drank to go to sleep didn't make me not drunk. I drunk way too much and spewing it all over space only helped a little. Every time I threw up or tried to hold anything back I sent myself spinning in another direction.

  Then I heard the laughing. Not just laughing bent over cackling and someone having a hard time breathing because they just watched a slightly over weight guy in his late 20s throw up all over himself. The voice was deep and sounded like what I'd expect a DND DM to sound like if he was trying to roll play Odin. Except the voice wasn't shit.

  When.... Odin... got done laughing he stopped and visibly had to get himself under control then laughed again but more of a "sad" laugh. Like I was his 80th customer of the day and it's only 11 and you're not making good money at the TacoHell you are working at and the laugh really is your attempt to calm down and just march on. A Heh but really not too enthusiastic or loud. I felt bad for the guy.

  At this point I realized I could breath and that the taste of bile was out of my mouth. so there I was covered in vomit but not spinning any more looking at what I assume has to be god. That god also has a shit job just like me and just "Heh"ed me. I got kind of pissed but noticed something glorious as about to happen. That projectile vomit was starting to head toward the god and he was looking through me with a thousand yard stare that said he was tired of this shit. He was not reacting to the vomit and impact was imminent. Drunkenly I shouted out "IMPACT IN 3.... 2... 1 TOUCHDOWN" like I was a scientist in the mission control room at NASA and just as I said 1 the vomit touched down. I started screaming in joy and hooting and hollering like a redneck at a Nascar game. At least I wasn't alone in my vomit covered plight.

  This didn't improve the mood of the god... Who actually did look like what I'd think Odin was. He even had a Thor hammer which I am pretty sure he didn't before I look at him again. God stuff ya know? I just rolled with it. I am also not in the best state of mind to think.

  Odin said: "What the fuck is wrong with you? If you were going to give me a sacrifice why did you drink the alcohol first? Is this some dumb ass human tradition in your universe?" and just kept going on insulting me, my mother, my species, and pretty much everything. I was pretty impressed with his thorough understanding of the word fuck. At some point I think he said the dirty version of the buffalo sentence. I couldn't quite get it but it sounded like "Fuck fucking fucked fucker fucking fuckups fuck fucking fucked fucking fuckup fucking fucker's fuck" which is really hard to follow when you're drunk but I understood I pissed him off.

  I said "Odin look. No you look like Odin. I am sorry? I am very drunk. I don't know what's going on" but it wasn't really coherent. Hopefully the god speaks drunk dumbass. I am sure that what I said other than "Drunk" and "sorry" were probably mumbles.

  Odin snapped his fingers and like he was saying "Would you like fries with that" and went into a long quick to the point Legalese comment and finished it with "And I accept your sacrifice". It sounded like he went through 3 pages of dry writing in a span of 3 seconds.

  The vomit was gone and he now looked like a smarmy lawyer from a cop show. The guy that takes enjoyment from sucking all the money out of your bank account for some stupid bullshit ticket that was for a law you weren't even breaking but the cops have a quota to fill so "get fucked" as the cop said. He was quite handsome now and had a great smile but you knew instinctually that this was a predictor in his element and about to take you for everything you have and then garnish your wages. Suit and tie included.

  Odin, or now I guess he looked more like a Neal, then looked me straight in the eyes and said "I'm mad at you".

  My brain wasn't working. I didn't know what to say and just saying "ok" or "sorry" didn't seem right and I couldn't really think. I was less mad and maybe starting to sober up a bit but still everything was swimming.

  I responded "What do I call you? I assume you're a god?" and was noticeably less drunk. shockingly coherent actually considering the amount of booze I had drank and then regurgitated.

  Neil... Turned his head and looked offended. Doing that thing I have seen girls do where they wrap their arms around their chest and slightly turn away. he did the motion exactly like an Ex I had in in college. even looking slightly up and closed his eyes. I knew I was in deep shit. I knew that in a test of will with a god or even a pissed off GF that there was no chance I was getting anywhere without apologizing.

  I just started talking. I said "Hey man... or god or whatever you are. I am sorry. I should have told you about the vomit incoming and I was a drunk asshole. Can we talk about it?" and just hoped throwing in the line "Can we talk about it?" would work. It often did work... until it didn't. She was an Ex after all.

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  Neil turned away a little bit more.

  I tried again "God I am really sorry... and I am sorry that I didn't show you enough respect when I came here. I was black-out drunk on my world when this space elf email poped up and there was this HUD from a game I played and I thought it was all a dream and then poof I was right in front of you vomiting. I shouldn't have been a dick to you, it seems like you've got a hard job".

  Neil turned around and laughed in my face. Again. He was apparently not sorry for what he said. I figured that was probably acceptable since he is the god in this relationship.

  Neil got himself under control and said "Human don't worry about me but thank you for your words. I was having a bit of fun. You can call me" and he paused for a second before finishing with "Jack".

  I was dumb founded and said "Fuck you Jack" because the asshole just laughed in my face for at least the 3rd time since we met.

  Jack blinked bewildered for a second and said: "We just finished a fight. Do you really want to do this again? I can just leave you here Clayton".

  My name was Clayton. I knew I didn't tell him that. That surprised me a little but I just passed it off. I didn't really want to get in another fight with Jack the all powerful god so I said "No no no. Forget I said that. How are we speaking though. There's no air in space and I assume you don't speak English". I also didn't really like my name. I guess I could change it now. I felt compelled to change it even. I am not sure why I felt compelled to change my name or why that thought even came to me.

  Jack looked at me like he was explaining something easy to a particularly stupid person. "Clayton. I am the god of change here in the Echo universe. When you leave here you will understand a common language among all sentient beings. You will hear it and see it in your native language. When you talk to others you will talk normally and the magic of the universe will make sure everything gets translated". He then did the angry gf thing again. He waited a second and turned back, throwing his hands down too his side, and screamed "DIDN'T YOU READ THE EMAIL? YOU HAD TO READ THE EMAIL. THE MAGIC DOESN'T WORK UNLESS YOU ARE OK WITH THE DECISION TO LEAVE YOUR LIFE BEHIND. THIS WAS ALL SAID. IN. THE. EMAIL".

  I sheepishly said "I was drunk... I just scrolled to the bottom and hit Yes". This was the wrong thing to say.

  I thought Jack thought I was dumb. I thought the God of creation had seen stupid and drunk people before. The look Jack gave me was the same look I gave people from HR when they say things like "TEUM" or "Try yoga on your break! It helps release stress!". It is a slack jawed and slightly tilting your head forward motion while having glazed over eyes. The look correctly conveys "I thought I had a good handle on the levels of stupidity that are possibly but you just set the bar so much lower. I have to go away and gather myself before I can possibly respond to what dumb fucking shit you just said". He even correctly did the blink a few seconds after the look starts to let me know he was deliberately mimicking me.

  Jack then said "as per my last email... We are extending an invitation to you to come join us in the Echo universe. This is a universe of magic and fighting. There's no electricity or computers in the same way you expect. Our god, JACK, has pushed some of the lore and class features into your world through TTRPG like pathfinder and DnD. A lot of the class builds and spells are similar but not exact. Take time too think about this and the system given too you while this spell is active. The world is not turn based but it is based around magic and change. You would be brought in to bring new life too the world and the trip is one way. If you click Yes and have looked over this email the change will happen almost immediately and you'll be taken to a tutorial that will help you through character creation and class selection. take time and consider this carefully".

Jack is an asshole. I didn't care in the moment.

  I understood the choice I drunkenly made and felt crushing regret. My world was gone. My friends and family would probably never know what happened too me. My parents were dead and I was working in a shitty dead end job but I had friends. I had relatives. I was going to start applying to other jobs and get my attitude fixed. I had a doctors appointment with a psychiatrist next month where I wanted too...

  Then it dawned on me. I was planning on taking pills and change everything about my life because I just didn't like it. I was living day to day and avoiding all my issues. I skipped Christmas the last two years. My friends were ok but I traveled so much that I became very distant with them. I hadn't talked to them for a few weeks. I would have made the choice sober. The spell worked correctly. I was sad and it would take a while to get over it but I would have done the same thing. I had to let it go. I couldn't crawl down that dark hole right now.

  Besides I was starting to get a massive hang over so thinking was hard. I was dehydrated for sure.

  Jack changed again to look like a caring old man. He looked a little like my grandpa but an overly nice version of him. He started talking in a calm elderly voice "Clayton normally I am not involved in this process directly. I assume the reason I am here is to help you get through this. The email would have known you were drunk and that you would have accepted. it only goes to people who accept it. I can take those memories away if you want but it will make things worse. The world you're going too is nice. I try my hardest to make it a wonderful place to live. You can do almost anything with your life from here. I do care. I am here for you, if just temporarily".

  I replied in a shocked shaky voice "No, no. I will keep them. I really didn't like my last life. I know I would have jumped at the chance but those memories make me, me. I would want to remember". I thought for a second and asked "hey but can you make me forget everything about emails. It really sucks having to deal with them". Jack sighed and said "It's an all or nothing deal so let's get to character creation".

  I told Jack that I wanted to look like I do now... Then hastily altered that statement. I said "I'd like to look like myself... but actually attractive". Jack though for a second and "how about this" and my HUD exploded with customization options and sliders. Everything from the shape of my nose and size of.... well. We'll just say everything was changeable and not even really in realistic ways. It seemed like I could change to any fantasy race and change my skin color. The choices were overwhelming so in my mind I imagined a version of myself from college where I was in shape and running every day. Poof. It happened just that easy.

  I exclaimed outload about how cool the system was and how I never felt better. I had the power of good looks on my side and it was great. Jack shook his head and said "you don't even know the best part! If you want to stay this way I can make you a changeling and you'll have access to the customization system whenever you want. It will just be slightly slower and require your own mana when you land in the Echo world".

I was sold. There was more to do though.