"May I have a moment of your time?" Junji asked.

Tex looked up from the office table. It was the day of the banquet, and he was messing with the tiny earpieces he'd brought to allow for better communication between the four of them.

"Uh, sure." Tex replied as he placed the earpieces on the table.

Junji reached into his bag. After pulling out a stapled packet of papers, he cleared his throat.

"I've written a twelve page report on Rocky." said Junji.

"...You wrote a twelve page report?"

"I wrote a ten page report and increased the font size so that it would fill twelve pages."

Tex was handed the paper packet. He flipped through it to see that the report had been separated into five sections: writing, acting, plot, sound design, and miscellaneous comments.

Hesitantly, Tex turned to a page near the end. On the first side of the page, Junji had mapped out every plot point and ranked them from most to least derived. On the flip side of the page, Junji had praised the kissing scene for making him about forty percent more aroused than the average kissing scene did.

Junji's only quarrel with the film seemed to be poor sound equalization.

"Uh..." Tex trailed off once he'd noticed the look of expectation and anticipation in Junji's eyes. "Why'd you do this?"

"You asked me to. It was an expression of friendship."

"Oh. Thanks."

"Also, I did not have anything else to do."

Tex wasn't sure if Junji was expecting him to read the report right then and there, but thankfully, Junji's attention was turned elsewhere when Tala approached the table with a folder in her hands.

Tex slipped the papers into his own bag. He'd read them later.

"Are you guys ready to see the target?" asked Tala.

"I am prepared." Junji replied.

"I'm ready." Tex answered. "Is Barton awake?"

Barton was asleep on the couch. Tex balled up a paper towel and tossed it at her face.

After four more paper towels, Barton was awake. She reluctantly made her way over to the table and took a seat next to Tex.

"This is our target." Tala explained as she held up a photo.

The photo was of poor quality, most likely because it was obviously a screenshot from Google Earth. It showed a chunky Caucasian male with a round head glancing over his shoulder as he entered the apartment complex.

"Wow." Barton said with a nod of her head. "I can't believe Tala got a real picture of Bigfoot."

"Is this all we got to go off of?" asked Tex.

"I think it's enough." Tala replied.

Tex supposed it was enough. Even though the mystery man didn't have any clear facial features to go off of, his dark hair and bowl-able head shape would likely be a dead give away.

They set out shortly after they'd picked up Sean. Once the train to Portland had departed, Tex passed out the ear pieces to Barton and Tala.

He also gave one to Junji, although he took him to a secluded car of the train to show him how to use it.

"Just slide it in your ear--yeah, like that." Tex said as Junji figured it out for himself.

The ear pieces were small enough that they were hard to spot even if you were looking for them. Tex had used them a dozen times before.

"How do I use it?" Junji replied.

"Just tap it once to send a message. And you'll receive messages without having to do anything."

Junji used his pointer finger to press on the mic in his ear.

"Like this?" he asked.

'Like this?' his voice sounded in Tex's ear.

"Yeah." Tex replied.

'Yes.' Tala sent.

"Say something back." Junji asked the old fashion way.

"Testing." Tex said after tapping his ear piece.

Junji touched his ear.

"How did it sound?" asked Tex.

"Like a dark grey."

With their communicators hidden in their ears and only about five minutes left in the ride, Tex led Junji back to their assigned seats.

Tala was still on her laptop.

"We should turn the cameras off now so they don't get any footage of us." said Tala.

"How much do it cost to keep the cameras down?" Tex asked.

"A dollar a minute. Per camera."

Tex chewed on his lower lip.

"Keeping the whole complex down might be out of our budget." he muttered. "Specially cause it's gonna be at least a few hours until we can--deal with him."

"I can cover it." Junji replied.

"You can?"

"Yes."

"With what money?"

"I invested in a...business."

Tex raised an eyebrow, but Junji didn't continue. The conversation seemed forgotten by the time they'd pulled into the station, although Tex tucked it away to the back of his mind.

They parked the Zipcar they'd rented on a residential street between the apartment complex and the sketchiest strip mall Tex had ever seen, complete with at least three live drug deals and what appeared to be a war between two different tinfoil hat cults. The apartment complex, on the other hand, was a lavish looking thing, with a pattern of hedges that cut it off from the rest of the world.

Tex could see that the complex had three floors, with apartment windows dotting the upper two. He could count twelve apartment windows in total. The building was a perfect rectangular prism, so the apartments appeared to be laid out in straight lines with no pesky corners like in the city.

The five of them stood about a hundred feet from the front doors as they worked out their plan.

"We should split up." Tex said. "He might be at the party, or he might be in his room. How about two of us go up and knock on doors, and two of us go to the party?"

"What will we do if we can't find him in either place?" Junji asked.

"We could evacuate the building. Whoever's snooping should be able to see him leave if we got one person on each floor. And even if we don't, at least we can narrow it down."

"I wanna help." said Sean.

"Alright, you can be in charge of evacuation."

"Sick!"

Sean pumped his fist in the air and shot off in the direction of the doors before Tex could think to discuss things further.

With a little shrug, Tex gave up on pre-assigning roles at all when Barton began to impatiently drag them in the direction Sean had gone. They usually worked better when they were improvising, anyway.

The double doors opened up to reveal a small area before another set of doors that were completely clear, save for a line of graffiti that read less cops more tops. Tex could see a bit of the party inside, but a man at a small table in mint condition Birkenstocks was what captured his attention.

"Hey, dudes, how's it going?" the man greeted.

Barton grunted.

"That's great." the man followed. "Here's your complimentary enemas."

Along with everyone else, Tex was handed a small white tote bag that had been labeled to contain one donut-scented enema.

Tex eyed it with disgust.

"Would any of you care to make a charity donation?" asked the man.

"What charity?" Tex wondered.

The man's face contorted in confusion. After a moment, he shrugged. Barton groaned and pushed past him, opening the front door to the lobby.

"Were you going to use that?" Junji asked Tex, gesturing to his enema bag.

The high ceiling and decor style of the lobby gave the place an upperiest of upper-middle class feel. Two banners decorated the far wall, one that read Charity Banquet and another that held up the pattern of the Newnion flag.

About twenty people roamed the room in a rainbow swirl of brightly colored rasta hoodies. Some of them were getting food at a long table in the center of the venue, and others were waiting in line to sit at a booth that advertised free aura massages.

"I'm out." Barton said as she turned on her heels and shot off towards the elevators.

"Guess she's on snooping duty." Tex noted once she'd left. "Think I'm gonna join her."

"Please don't make me stay." Tala begged.

"You'll be fine."

"Wait. Wait."

"What?"

Tala sucked in a long breath of air.

"Do you remember that time you got stabbed in the kidney and went to the hospital and I donated my kidney to you so that you wouldn't have to go on a waitlist and probably die and then you said you were in my debt?" she asked.

"You really wanna spend the kidney thing on--aaand you're gone." Tex replied as Tala ran off after Barton.

With Tala and Barton out of sight, Tex tried not to think too hard about how he was the darkest person in the room.

"Why did you get stabbed in the kidney?" Junji asked.

"Ex-wife wanted to say hello."

Junji didn't reply, which Tex supposed was fair.

"So." Tex started as he remembered the question he'd previously tucked away. "What kinda business did you invest in?"

"I invested the money I made on my painting into a black market meth lab masquerading as a mattress firm chain."

"...You're making meth money?"

Junji chuckled.

"No. The money we make from drug sales only goes towards keeping the foundation running." he explained. "Where I profit is when we report massive losses for the mattress firm chain and receive a tax dollar bail-out to compensate our fake mattress employees."

"Sounds like you and the pinkos are making a great team."

Although Tex had more questions, he decided it wasn't the time. As discreetly as he could, he tapped his ear piece.

"How's it going?" he muttered into his mic.

'We're going door to door and keeping track of who answers and who doesn't, so at least we'll know where he isn't if we don't see him.' Tala sent.

'I'm on the first floor, and Tala's on the second.' Barton replied.

"What's your excuse for coming to the door?"

'I don't know what Tala's doing, but I'm asking people to check the batteries in their smoke detectors.'

'I'm telling everyone I'm a registered sex offender.'

"Alright. Have fun."

Silence fell. Tex used the time to scan the room for their target and unintentionally listen in on two men talking loudly by a wall near the entrance, one in a white hoodie and the other in a yellow.

"...doctor tried to prescribe me Beta-blockers for my high blood pressure." said the man in the white hoodie. "But you know what I told him?"

"What?" the one in the yellow replied.

"Prescription drugs are an epidemic, dude. If capitalism is the blood of the one percent, prescription drugs are the body."

"Shit, bro, I got goosebumps."

"Just a bloated, money making scheme led by people who've convinced us that we need to change the way our brains work to fit in with society. Well, look out society, cause I've decided it's the other way around."

The sound of rapid scribbling was heard as the man in the yellow hoodie began to frantically jot down his friend’s words in a notebook made from recycled cardboard.

"God, you're so smart." he said once he'd finished.

"Thanks, dude. Wanna eat this mushroom I found growing on my bath mat?"

"You got it."

Bored, Tex turned his attention back to Junji to see that his expression was wistful.

"Ah. " Junji hummed.

Junji seemed to be staring at something. Tex followed his gaze to see a four-tiered array of smoked salmon cracker plates in between the wine bottles and the silver platter of weed nuggets.

"Big fan of fish?" asked Tex.

"I want the platter."

"You gonna steal it?"

"No. I will be courteous to the other guests."

Tex couldn't think of anything else to say. He gave the room one more once over.

"...made Charlotte come last night without touching her." the man in the white hoodie continued to the other.

"Woah, dude, how'd you do that?"

"Well, like, bodies are made up of different energies, you know? So I just, like, meditated so hard that I figured out how to use my energy to make a penis. Then I slammed it into her for like--"

The white-hoodied man began to smack his right hand with the back of his left.

"-- Uh! Uh! Uh! For like five minutes until she came." he finished.

"Sick."

"Yeah. She didn't even have to take her pants off. And she was so satisfied after that she didn't even wanna have sex with me, bro."

Tex turned his head the other way, searching for anything else to focus his attention on. His eyes stopped on a couple just a few feet away.

The couple consisted of a young man and woman, maybe in their late twenties or early thirties. They seemed to be chatting about something, and they quickly looked away when they noticed Tex was staring in their direction.

They were both very attractive.

"We should mingle with others to appear less suspicious." Junji said with just a tad of audible reluctance.

"Yeah." Tex replied. "Good idea."

"How do you feel about talking to strangers at parties?"

"Used to like it. Don't as much."

"Why's that?"

"Not sure why, but city folk don't seem to like me."

"Perhaps you just have a bad personality."

"Yeah, it's probably that."

Whatever Junji was going to say was interrupted when the man and the woman Tex had been looking at came over with excited expressions.

"How are you two doing today?" the woman greeted.

Tex scanned the couple to get a better look at their attire. The woman was wearing a fine dress of green, yellow, and red, while the man was wearing a simple shirt that read Bernie can still win guys.

"I am well." Junji replied.

"Great weather we're having, right?" the man asked.

"Could be worse." answered Tex.

It was easy to miss, but Tex managed to notice that the woman's eyebrows raised when he started to speak.

"I haven't seen you two around before." she said.

"We were invited by a friend." Junji replied.

Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.

"Rad." the man nodded. "What're your signs?"

For just a moment, a look of anxiety flashed over Junji's face.

"Uh, the crab one." he answered.

"Wow, I can totally see that." the man replied.

"Mine's just a...stop sign." said Tex.

"Wow, I can totally see that."

Tex wasn't sure how to respond, and Junji didn't seem like he was either. The amount of silence that passed was uncomfortable, but neither the man or the woman seemed to notice.

"Say," the woman started, "we've been looking to have a four-way with a cancer and a stop sign."

Tex coughed.

"How would you two dudes feel about joining us in a spiritual journey?" the man asked.

Although Tex had no intention of giving up his scouting assignment to have a four-way with two strangers, he was so amazed by both the couple's shamelessness and taste that he couldn't help but humor them a bit longer.

"This a literal journey, or figurative?" asked Tex.

"Both." the man answered. "It's just a twenty minute train ride from where we are now."

Tex squinted his eyes in suspicion. Twenty minutes on the modern railway system was enough to travel fifty million miles, as long as you stayed on land.

"We'll make it worth your while." the woman said as she reached out and ran a hand down Junji's arm.

Junji flinched. Tex's eyes only narrowed into smaller slits when the woman's hand faltered for a moment near Junji's butt.

"So what do you say?" the man asked. "We got a couple dabs and some printed out instructions of an ancient Apache four-way ritual so it's basically gonna be a party."

"We even asked all the Native Americans if it was alright so it's not appropriation." the woman added.

Junji gave Tex a little glance.

"Think we're gonna have to miss it." Tex replied.

Both the man and the woman frowned.

"How can we convince you?" asked the woman.

"For starters, you could tell me what you just took from my friend over here." Tex answered, gesturing to Junji with his thumb.

Dual looks of panic flashed over the man and woman's face. The woman opened both her hands to show that they were empty.

"Check your back pocket." Tex muttered as he gave Junji a little nudge.

"Wait." the man said with a white face. "You don't wanna do..."

Junji reached into his back pocket and pulled out a little baggy filled with small white pills. After opening the bag, he gave it a sniff.

"Opioids." he said to Tex. "I did not have these when I came in."

With a tiny chuckle of amazement, Tex turned his attention back to the pair.

"Now." he started. "Would you mind telling me what those are doing in his pocket?"

The woman and man exchanged a glance with one other. Both of their faces fell to irritation.

"We just wanted help sneaking some drugs into Mexico." the man explained.

"And in case we got searched at the train station, we didn't want to be the ones to get arrested." the woman continued. "Is that so wrong?"

"Yes." Tex replied. "Fuck's wrong with you?"

"Hey! We gave him fifty bucks!"

Junji reached into his pocket again. When he pulled his hand back out, he was holding a fifty dollar Whole Foods gift card.

"I do not want these." Junji said as he handed the opioids and gift card back to the couple.

"You tried to turn him into a drug mule." Tex stated in disbelief.

"Oh, like you're so perfect." the man replied. "With you and your--beliefs."

"You know what? You can go to hell."

The woman clicked her tongue.

"Calm down, cowboy." she said. "Do you kiss your sister with that mouth?"

Tex's mouth nearly fell open in disbelief. He gave up trying to suppress his anger as it started to come up his throat.

"I don't know who you think you are, talking to me like that." he started slowly, spitting out the words. "But--"

Tex was cut off as Junji threw a hand over his mouth and began to half-drag him away from the encounter. For a moment, Tex tried to struggle, but he quickly found that Junji was set with determination.

They got a few weird looks, but not a lot.

"Calm yourself." Junji said as he led Tex to the back of the venue.

"What--"

"Calm yourself."

Junji only took his hands off of Tex's shoulders when the steam had stopped pouring from his ears. Free, Tex looked over his shoulders to see they were by the bathrooms.

"Why'd you do that?" Tex asked.

"I thought it best we remove ourselves from the situation."

"That really pissed me off. We should do something."

"What would we do?"

Although the temptation to call the authorities and try to charge the couple with attempted drug trafficking was strong, Tex's ideologies, job, and thirty charges of credit card fraud gave him a lot of reason to avoid the police.

"I don't know." Tex answered. "Find out which apartment is theirs and burn it."

"That seems excessive."

"It is. I'm real mad."

Junji's face was calm and patient as he replied.

"I have no intent to bring about any sort of revenge." said Junji.

"Why not?"

"Why would your solution to a negative thing be to cause another negative thing? That would be utter nonsense."

Tex frowned.

"I don't think people ought to get away with stuff like that." he replied. "Getting even might make them less likely to do something like this again."

"Do you really believe that?"

With a tiny scoff, Tex gave up.

"I'm sorry I am not more fun." Junji followed as Tex leaned his back against the wall near the bathroom door.

"It's alright." Tex replied. "Though I gotta say, you ain't what I expected. Being ex-Yak and all that."

"What were you expecting?"

"I dunno. I didn't think you would be so--ethical."

"It was not called unorganized crime, Dallas."

Tex let out a short, dry chuckle. About a dozen feet away, a man with weed socks and a weed hat began to pour out a bottle of Armand de Brignac Ace of Spades Brut Gold sparkling wine for snorkel shots.

"I do not understand this culture." Junji stated.

"This is just what rich people are now, I guess."

Junji exhaled and cracked a smile. Tex began to feel better.

"How about this." Tex followed. "I'm real upset this happened to you. If there's anything I can do for you, give me the word."

"I will keep that in mind."

Tex nodded. After pretending to scratch his ear, he tapped his microphone.

"How's it going on the door situation?" he asked.

'Bad.'

'People don't usually come to their door when it's strangers. They probably think we're break-in Mormons or something.'

'We should evacuate the building. Barton and I will keep track of the doors. It's late enough that even if he isn't home, we'll be able to narrow it down to just a few rooms.'

Tex glanced at his watch to see that it was seven minutes to eleven.

"Good idea." he replied. "How does eleven sound?"

'Perfect. There's only two floors of apartments, so we can both keep track of a floor.'

"Everyone good on eleven?"

'Yes.'

'Yes.'

'Uhuh.'

Tex scanned the room for a fire alarm, which he spotted just a few feet to his left, on the other side of the bathrooms.

"I will see to it that no one gets trampled." Junji said as he turned to leave.

"Have fun."

While Junji made his way to the center of the party, Tex took a few steps towards the alarm. He flinched when someone leaving the men's bathrooms nearly smacked into him.

"Oh, hey, Sean." Tex greeted.

"Hey man." Sean replied. "How's it going?"

"We're evacuating. Eleven sharp."

As he spoke, Tex gestured his head towards the fire alarm.

"Can I still do it?"

"Knock yourself out."

Tex's voice was dead enough that it didn't surprise him when Sean raised an eyebrow. Still, he played dumb as they settled next to the alarm.

"What?" Tex asked.

"Did something happen? You look a little ticked off."

Tex let out a short sigh. He supposed there was no harm in explaining his situation to Sean.

"Some people said some rude shit to me." Tex explained. "I know I ain't never gonna see them again, but it still makes me feel all cynical."

"Ah, dude, that's a perfectly reasonable thing for you to stress about."

"It is?"

"I don't--I'm not saying you should, just that it's understandable. Whenever people treat me like shit, it sticks with me for the rest of the day."

Tex hummed in response.

"But here's the thing." Sean continued. "There's nothing wrong with you. Whoever spat at you is probably depraved."

"That's good to hear."

Sean gave Tex a look that made him feel like he'd said something wrong.

"Is it good to hear?" asked Sean. "That these people are depraved?"

"...Suppose it ain't."

"High class life might look lavish, but it ain't worth the--conditions. You gotta dress a certain way, think a certain way, just for people to love you."

"Guess that's not ideal."

"It leaves you full of holes. And just like any hole, people are gonna throw principles aside to try and fill it."

Sean glanced at the fire alarm. Tex snuck a peak at his phone to see that it was just a minute to eleven.

"I grew up near here." Sean followed. "There's nothing special about rich folks. There's prolly a universe somewhere with you and I walking around in these hoodies."

Although Sean's thought was dark, it still managed to peel back a bit of the cynicism that Tex had arrived with. He let his mouth soften as he formed his response.

"That kinda makes me sad, but it kinda don't at the same time." Tex slowly replied. "Thank you, Sean."

"Of course. You're a good dude, Tex. I'd hate to see you all pessimistic."

"Yeah, likewise."

Sean nodded and put his hand next to the fire alarm as the last few seconds ticked down to eleven o'clock. Tex smiled in the silence, cherishing in the sudden appreciation he had for both Sean and his wisdom.

"Active shooter!" Sean screamed at the top of his lungs.

Tex watched in horror as the party immediately erupted into pure chaos.

"What the hell!" Tex yelled to Sean over the growing shouts.

"What?"

"I thought you were just gonna pull the fire alarm!"

Sean turned his head towards the alarm, as if he was just noticing it for the first time.

"Oh." said Sean.

"Yeah."

With a little flick of his wrist, Sean broke the glass and pulled the fire alarm.

The panic of the room only increased as the piercing shriek of the fire alarm filled the air. Several people slipped and fell as the sprinklers began to shower water onto the floor.

"This is God punishing us for never going to the primaries!" a woman at the buffet table yelped.

"Why would you do that!?" Tex hissed.

"Do what?" Sean replied.

"Pull the alarm!"

"You asked me to."

"No I didn't..."

Sean sighed and reached into his pocket to pull out a tiny tube of super glue. Tex's jaw nearly fell as Sean began to glue the shards of glass back together and over the alarm.

"Why?" Tex asked over the sound of screams and the howl of the alarm.

"Maybe it'll stop the alarm."

"How? How would it do that?"

Sean glued in the last piece of glass. The alarm stopped.

"Sean, I'm sorry I ever doubted you." Tex said as he left for the buffet table with every intention of drowning himself in abandoned wine.

"Have fun."

Tex was halfway to the table when he got a message.

'I am going to evacuate everyone in this room.' Junji sent.

"They aren't leaving by themselves?"

'They seem to have forgotten the location of the exit. A small group of them have banded together and are attempting to take down a wall.'

"There ain't really a shooter. You don't actually gotta evacuate them."

'I have witnessed three incidents in the last minute to suggest these people will resort to cannibalism if they remain in this room.'

Tex grit his teeth with irritation at humankind's sudden insistence on proving Junji right.

"Look." Tex started. "Just cause these people are kinda goofy, that don't mean that all--"

'Spare me.'

People began to pour from the elevators and the stairs. Tex scanned his surroundings for the target, but was quickly distracted by the scene of Junji attempting to round up the panicked occupants so he could lead them out the double doors.

'Do you remember how you said you wanted to do something for me?' Junji asked as he maneuvered his herd with little grace.

"Yeah?"

'There is something I would like.'

"What can I do you for?"

'Do you see that salmon platter?'

Tex gave the buffet table a little look to remember the salmon platter.

"Yeah." he replied.

'It will be destroyed in the commotion if we don't take it. I cannot bear the thought.'

"You want me to take it?"

'Please.'

On one hand, Tex wasn't sure it was the best use of his time, but on the other, he wasn't about to pass up on his favorite activity of taking things. Tex easily made his way to the buffet table for a closer look at the salmon tray. With all four tiers, the tray clocked in at about three feet high.

Tex grabbed the whole thing without really thinking about it.

The walk to the exit didn't look long, but the wet floor and commotion seemed like they might cause challenge. Tex did his best to keep the tray steady as he made his way over, but a few crackers began to slide off the plates and onto the floor.

"Thinking about leaving a few of the tiers." Tex sent to Junji.

'A terrible thought. Please don't leave any tiers.'

"I'm gonna set a tier down."

'There are about twenty-four salmon crackers per plate, or ninety-six in total. You are currently losing crackers at a rate of one per three seconds. Even if that rate stayed constant rather than decreasing, as it will, one cracker per three seconds per one minute to the car means--'

"Twenty crackers lost, yeah."

'Even if you put down as little as one plate, you would be wasting a net total of four crackers.'

As Tex exited through the double dours, a falling cracker was reduced to dust when it was unwittingly trampled by a passerby.

"I don't wanna watch it happen, though. I wasn't ready for this sort of responsibility."

'They would've been destroyed in the sprinklers if you'd left them. Have you considered that your emotional turmoil is pathetic and a nuisance to society?'

Tex chuckled through his earpiece as he neared in on the car. He hoisted up the trays on his hip as he unlocked the door before shoving the whole thing into the backseat. When he turned back around, he was just in time to see Junji finish with his task of herding out the party-goers, a few of which he appeared to be half-carrying.

Upon exiting the doors, the members of the crowd began to run off in separate directions. Tex caught an earful of distant sirens.

"We should split. Get to the car." Tex said into his ear piece.

'We'll be there in a minute.' Tala replied. 'We got lost getting back.'

"How? It's just right next to the strip mall."

'Yeah, but they gentrified it since we left, so it took us a while to recognize it.'

Tex looked over to the strip mall to see that the old worn down shops had been replaced by an organic non-GMO grocery outlet, an artisan wine and cheese shop, and a store that sold pre-burnt bras.

'But on the plus side, the homeless population has gone up.' sent Barton.

'How is that a plus? You hate the homeless.'

'I like to hate.'

It was nearly midnight by the time all five of them had gotten back to the car. Still, Tala reasonably suggested they wait a few hours for the police to leave and everyone to go to bed. So Tex found a more secluded parking spot and tried not to think too hard about how early it would be when they got back.

Having gotten his weed, Sean bid them goodbye.

"Guess I'm heading out." he said as he looked up the bus directions to the train station on his phone.

"Night." Tex replied. "Have fun getting a full night's sleep."

"Don't worry, I'll get in an extra eight for you tonight."

"You're going to sleep for sixteen hours?" asked Junji.

"Nah, I'll do them at the same time."

Sean waved them goodbye and left for the buses on foot. Tex might have offered him a ride if he didn't think moving the car around might raise suspicion.

"We should try to sleep." Barton suggested.

Tex examined the uncomfortable-looking insides of their compact car before turning back to Barton.

"What is it with you and sleeping?" he asked.

Barton snored.

Only Barton ended up being able to get any rest. Junji curled up in the backseat with the salmon platter and started to do what looked like taxes, although Tex couldn't read Japanese.

Tex played Uno with Tala to pass the time.

"Hey, uh, I got a weird question." Tex told Tala as they cleaned up the remains of their epic three hour long Uno game.

"What is it?" Tala replied.

"You're Apache, right?"

"Genetically, yeah."

"Are there any Apache--uh, four-way rituals you know of?"

"Only ones that I've lied about."

Junji perked up when he noticed Tala was getting her computer stuff together. Tex balanced miscellaneous items on Barton's head until she woke up.

"Alright." Tex said while they all put their gloves on. "This is a complex, so we gotta be quiet. And he's gonna be asleep in his room, so we need to take him out before we get to the computer."

"I suspect a gunshot would wake up the neighbors, even with the silencer." Junji replied as he shoved the last salmon cracker in his mouth.

"Goddamn, you're right. Wish I'd thought of that. Can anyone think of a silent way to murder?"

"I have a lethal injection of cyanide in my purse." said Tala.

"...Hell did you get that?"

"Amazon."

"Can I do the killing?" Barton asked. "It's been a while since I've killed someone."

"Work it out with Tala." Tex answered.

They took the stairs instead of the elevator to get up to the second floor. There were three doors that needed to be unlocked: the front door, the door at the top of the stairs, and the door of their target. Tex picked them all with ease while he prayed that no one walked by.

Thankfully, no one did.

They fell from quiet to dead silent as they shuffled into the room. Tex spent several long seconds closing the door behind them to make sure it didn't click against the frame. After he'd turned back around, he got a look.

The only light in the apartment came from a computer that sat in the living room after a very short hallway. Tex could just make out a kitchen, an open door to a bathroom, and two closed doors along the right side of the living room.

Tex's eyes went wide when he realized their target was sitting at the computer. Although his head was turned away and large headphones covered his ears, Tex shot the others a look and a gesture as quickly as he could.

"We gotta take him out." Tex whispered to Barton as quietly as he could manage.

"I got it." Barton replied.

While Tex signaled for everyone else to stay back, Barton began to creep towards the chair. Tex's heart pounded uncomfortably as she neared him. Once she was in range, Barton brought her fist into the air.

He fell limp and out of his chair just a second after she'd struck.

"Alright." said Tex. "Let's get to work."

"Can I use the injection?" Tala asked with eyes full of hope and wonder.

"Knock yourself out."

"I think he died from the punch." Barton said as she gave the target's body a little kick. "Oopsies."

"...But what about the injection?" Tala pouted.

"We'll use it next time." Tex promised.

"Yay!"

Junji examined the body on the floor and frowned.

"We probably should have checked his computer before we killed him." he said.

"Why's that?" Tex replied.

"It's unlikely, but it's possible we could have been wrong about who the target was."

"...Why don't we take a look?"

Since it had just been in use, the computer was unlocked. Tala sat down in the chair and began to rummage through the files and system tray.

"Yeah, it was definitely him." she said. "I can see a massive file in here that he's running."

Tex breathed out a sigh of relief. He had never been so happy to learn that someone had created life in their computer for the intentions of endlessly tormenting it.

"Because the computer is unlocked, should we not just use the monitor to view the program?" Junji suggested. "We might even be able to fix things from his computer."

"Nah, we should still use the adapter." Tala replied. "I don't want to click on somebody and realize that it tears all their organs out or something."

"...A good point."

The fix ended up being a textbook case once Tala had pulled up the code and set up the adapter. With the help of Junji, Tex figured out what needed to be fixed, vomited everywhere, decided to quit his job, and begged Barton to ease his suffering.

"Try to throw up under the body." Barton suggested as Tex blindly clung to her leg. "That way it'll look like he did it."

"Mmblrrggg." Tex sobbed.

"No, not on the body."

After the job had been finished and Tex's memory had been properly wiped, his mood drastically improved.

Although he did open a window.

"You ready to find out what they want?" Tala asked. "Jesus is already in there."

"Ready as ever." answered Tex.

Tex restuck the suction cup to his forehead and put his hand on the train car window to see seven confused people in a loose circle around the Jesus asset.

Tala had Jesus explain to the group that their previous overseer had been killed and that they were free. When they began to ask Jesus questions, Tex gave the information he learned to Tala.

"There's seven of them." Tex explained. "They're all people from his--uh, Lucas's high school chemistry team. They say they didn't let him compete in the finals because he was trash and he hated them for it."

"Ok." Tala replied.

"They say Lucas comes around in the evenings to torture them. The rest of the time they do book club meetings and play touch football."

"...Ok."

"They were all friends before they got put in here. They value each other."

"Aww. How many of them want to be deleted?"

Junji and Tex exchanged a glance. One of the chemistry teammates poked Jesus with a frown.

"None of them." Tex replied. "But, uh..."

"What?" Tala pushed.

"They want to have a purpose. They know that we can change reality, and they've requested a chemistry lab."

"Chemistry?"

"They say it's what they have in common."

"Junji and I have been working on a biology lab. Is biology alright?"

Jesus asked the group of seven if biology was alright.

"They say it's fine, they guess." Tex cited for them.

"Good." Tala replied. "I'll copy and paste the code."

It didn't take Tala long to punch in the code. Through the window of the train car, Tex watched as the room was torn out from under the chemistry team's feet and instantly replaced with a sleek biology lab the size of a small house.

"How did y'all code a bio lab so fast?" asked Tex.

"We stole a lot of it from Reddit." Junji answered.

It was easy sailing from there. Tala added a code-wiping hole in the ground that anyone could jump into when they were done with existing. The chemistry team promised to leave their findings somewhere, and Tala sped up time to a blur until Tex couldn't see movement in the lab anymore.

"How long did they make it?" Junji asked as the scene slowed down to a one-to-one time output.

"A little over a thousand years." answered Tala.

Tex squinted at two white boards that had been pushed into his view. He could see that they were covered in hundreds of lines of writing.

"They seem to have written their studies on a board for us." Junji said.

"There's a lot, so I ain't really looking forward to citing it." Tex added.

"That's fine." Tala replied. "Now that no one's alive anymore, I'm comfortable just viewing things from the monitor."

"Can we come out then?"

"Sure."

Tex popped the suction cup off his forehead with a sigh. He walked over to the monitor as Tala wiggled the mouse and brought it back to life.

After Tala had maximized the program from the taskbar, a two dimensional version of the room Tex had just been viewing popped onto the screen. Tala quickly discovered she could rotate the room by clicking and dragging the mouse button.

She found the white boards with ease.

"Let me just take a picture." Tala said as she pulled out her phone.

Tala snapped a photo of the screen and sent it to herself over Discord. Tex supposed there were worse ways to be remembered by.

"What did it say?" Tex asked.

"We'll look when we get in the car." Barton replied. "We still got a dead man to deal with."

Suddenly remembering the situation, Tex turned his attention to the vomit-covered dead body on the floor with a punch-shaped bruise on the side of his head.

"Maybe he fell on his fist." Tex suggested.

With a grunt, Barton maneuvered Lucas' body until he was on his knees with his forehead on the coffee table. She then placed a book under his left foot.

"There." she said. "Death by trip. It wasn't a suicide, it was self induced man-slaughter."

"That's how I want to go out." Tala whispered.

The set up looked a bit suspicious, but Tex didn't have any other ideas. Hopefully the police would believe Lucas tripped in his panic to leave the building when the fire alarm went off.

"Y'all ready to blow this Tupperware party?" asked Tex.

"Please." Barton replied.

They returned to their silence once they left the apartment. Tex just barely remembered to lock the door on the way out before they made their way back down the stairs.

The ride back to the train station was short. After they'd situated themselves in their seats and the train had departed, Tex turned to Tala.

"I wanna read what they wrote on the board." Tex told her as Barton snored beside him.

Tala pulled up the picture and handed Tex her phone.

"I am also interested." said Junji. "What does it say?"

The photo showed that the board had been split into two topics. Tex read the preambles of both.

"They say they're final conclusions." Tex replied. "There's two of them."

"What are they on?" Tala asked.

"The first one's on--bases. Or something."

"Read it."

Tex cleared his throat.

"Humans: Base Four, Five, or Twenty-one?" he read. "For a thousand years, we've pondered the question of what base humans are coded in. We started with three schools of thought: DNA; or base four, RNA; or base five, and protein; or base twenty-one. Our research was as follows --"

Tex stopped reading once he'd realized how long it was.

"What did they conclude?" Junji asked.

After a moment of skimming, Tex found the end of the study.

"Base two." answered Tex.

"It took them a thousand years to figure that out?" Tala scoffed.

"What's the other topic?" Junji pushed.

Tex squinted at the other section of the board.

"Sex." he replied.

"What did they write about it?" Tala asked.

"That we should have more of it."

"It took them a thousand years to figure that out?" Junji scoffed.

Tex handed Tala's phone back to her when she reached for it.

"I guess I'll send their findings to Harvard." she said. "Or something."

Tex felt his eyes threaten to close by the time the train had slowed to a halt. The four of them left the station in a tired, silent haze.

"Do we have to meet tomorrow?" Barton asked in a mumble.

"Not for long." Tex replied. "We just gotta assess our standings."

"Uhhg."

They ended up agreeing on nine pm the next night. Tex just hoped he'd be able to get some sleep.