"Yain't!" Tex shouted the moment he’d woken up.

Tex had barely zipped up his pants by the time he'd stormed out his front door.

'Yain't.' Tex thought to himself while he waited for his teriyaki to be ready.

He didn't usually order food, but he considered the day to be a special occasion.

"Yain't." Tex muttered as he lied on his tax forms.

Waiting for six proved itself to be difficult, but Tex managed. After spending a few moments alone with himself in front of the bathroom mirror, Tex emerged into Bianca's office five minutes late to ensure that everyone else had already arrived.

"Oh, hey Tex." Luke greeted.

"Mhh." Tex replied as he made his way over to the white boards.

Tex had felt that people had started to stand a tenth of an inch closer to each other every meeting since Junji had shown up. It never made Tex particularly comfortable, but for once, he was in too good of a mood to care about the lack of space between Caverly's hand and Junji's arm.

"Whoa, Tex, you look happy." said Sean. "Did you try out the post-nut clarity I recommended?"

"Mhm."

The chatter in the room died as Tex erased the most previous argument from the white board. Which was good, as it meant he didn't have to clear his throat to get everyone's attention.

"Is there something on your mind?" Bianca asked.

"Hell yeah there is." Tex answered. "May I get a moment of your time?"

Everyone looked a bit confused, but they all broke away from their personal conversations and sat down in a semi-circle fashion. Tex happily picked up a marker. He'd never given a presentation before, but his idea was too good for him to be nervous about anything ever again.

"What kinda presentation is this?" Caverly wondered.

"A proposal." Tex replied.

Although he could feel everyone's eyes on him, Tex could tell that Junji was especially interested in what he had to say.

"Since the dawn of time," Tex started as he took the cap off the marker, "we've been saying 'you' and 'ain't' in the order 'you ain't' to mean 'you are not', followed by the noun or verb that the you is not."

Tex drew the letters YAIN on the board before realizing that he’d written too large to finish the word. After erasing his first attempt, Tex wrote the letters YAIN'T on the board slightly smaller.

"However, there ain't nothing stopping us from slamming these words together and cutting out the middle man." he followed.

Caverly raised her hand.

"Could you give us an example of 'yain't' in a sentence?" she asked.

"Yain't worth shit." Tex answered immediately. "Yain't gonna get my taco. Yain't ever gonna see me or my titties again."

"Why is yain't so angry?" Tala mumbled.

Junji touched his chin.

"He is right that it could save us time..." he trailed off. "Perhaps adopting this particular aspect of Southern Jive is within our best interest."

"Everything's more efficient in the South." Tex said happily. "Don't guess there ain't never been a'no doubt about it."

Tex's presentation was met with a round of applause and a promise from everyone that they'd consider integrating 'yain't' into their vocabularies. Once he'd cleaned the board, Tex retired to the snack table and leaned up against the wall with a plate of crackers and cheese.

Something was off about the way his butt felt against the wall. He reached into his back pocket to discover a champleve silver dial pocket watch.

"Hell did I get this?" he muttered.

As he put the watch back in his pocket, Tex noticed Bianca was trying to catch his eye. Junji, however, came over before Tex could meet her gaze.

"Hello." Junji greeted.

"Hey.” Tex replied. “You like my presentation?"

"I did. I'm quite fond of cutting corners for the sake of--"

Junji paused for a moment to shudder.

"--efficiency." he finished.

"That your kink?"

"That and vomit."

As much as Tex was dying to talk more with Junji about all the things that made his dick hard, his brain was stuck wondering why Bianca had been trying to get his attention.

"You mind if we continue this conversation later?" asked Tex.

"That might be difficult."

"Why?"

"I didn't have anything else to say."

"...I'll talk to you later, Junji."

Junji hummed in agreement and left for the snack table with an expression of contentedness. Before Tex could even think about how to approach Bianca, she made her own way over.

Tex resisted the urge to fix his bangs.

"Hey." she greeted.

"Uh, howdy."

"How are you doing? I don't think I've ever seen you so excited before as when you were up there."

"Never had anything to get so excited about."

Bianca responded with a laugh that was so happy Tex couldn't help but join her.

"Would you like to go for a walk with me?" Bianca asked.

Tex nearly choked on his next inhale, but he didn't let it show.

"Yeah." he replied. "Sounds nice."

Bianca led the way out the door of her office. Tex's curiosity had mixed with his anxiety to create an unpleasant cocktail by the time they'd stepped into the hall.

"You alright going outside?" she wondered.

"Let's do it."

The front door of the building wasn't far from the hallway. Tex let Bianca stay in the lead once they got outside.

"Sure is a nice day out." said Tex.

"It's seven pm in March."

"I like the dark."

If Bianca was leading them anywhere in particular, Tex couldn’t tell. Even though it was dark, traffic clogged the crosswalks on either side of their block.

The lack of conversation was making Tex uncomfortable.

"Were there something you wanted to talk about?" he asked.

"There was something I wanted to ask, if that's alright."

"Course it's alright. Whatcha got for me?"

Bianca waited for the car across from them to finish with its left turn before responding.

"We've known each other for about five or so years now," she started, "and--"

"Jeez, it's been that long?"

"--but I realize, I've never told you how much I respect you all for risking your lives every week."

Tex surprised himself when the tips of his ears heated up.

"I wouldn't say we're risking our lives." he replied.

"Your incomes, then."

"You know, I just realized. This ain't really a question."

"We'll get to my question."

Tex had no idea what that could mean.

"Thanks for thanking me, but I wouldn't consider it much of a sacrifice." he admitted. "This is kinda my dream job, if I'm being honest."

"Well, what made you want to do it?"

"Just, the idea of somebody--torturing something that can’t die, that's kinda the--"

"Worst thing that could ever happen?"

"Yeah! Yeah. It is."

While Tex's chest swelled with happiness, his mind wandered back to about half a decade prior.

"I was a wreck when I first found out people were doing it." said Tex.

Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

"A wreck?" Bianca asked.

"I couldn't sleep, or eat. I ended up losing twenty pounds. My wife thought I was a madman."

"Yeah, I heard she wasn't supportive."

"Lida's not happy running a business unless it's making a profit."

"...I think a business has to make a profit for it to be a business."

"Then what the hell do I run?"

"Not a business."

Bianca's voice was pleasantly judgmental. Tex replied with a tiny snicker.

"What?" she asked.

"You kinda sound like her."

"Can’t say that’s a good thing, considering the other thing I wanted to ask."

"Which was what?"

"How would you feel about having sex with me?"

Tex inhaled a mouthful of saliva into his lungs. Immediately, he turned away from Bianca so he wouldn't have to face her as he bent over and coughed until he couldn't breathe.

"Are you okay?" asked Bianca.

"Mm fine."

"I'm sorry, I didn't think you would..."

Bianca trailed off as Tex let out a few deep breaths. After a few more fleeting coughs, he managed to remember how to push and pull air into his lungs.

When he turned around to face Bianca, he still couldn't look her in the eyes.

"Uh--what did you ask me?" he coughed.

The chuckle that Bianca replied with sounded suspiciously endeared.

"I asked if you wanted to have sex with me." she answered.

"Why did you ask that?"

"I find you attractive."

Tex coughed just one more time.

"Does Dan know you're asking me this?" he asked.

"Yeah." answered Bianca. "It was Dan's idea."

"...What?"

"Dan knew I was attracted to you. At first he didn't like the idea, but then he decided it would be better for my relationship with him if I asked you instead of spending the rest of my life wondering 'what if'."

"Are you--are you still attracted to Dan?"

"Of course. I love Dan."

"You're attracted to two people?"

"I'm attracted to a lot of people. In different ways."

Tex couldn't believe it. He didn't even want to know the amount of time he'd spent thinking about Bianca being interested in him, and the threat of forgetting how to breathe again was strong.

"Can I kiss you?" Bianca asked.

"Sure, but you only got about twenty seconds before I pass out."

Bianca was still laughing when she brought her hands up to cup his face. The only thought Tex had as she pulled him in was that he wished he could've been more helpful.

It wasn't a long kiss, but it was soft enough to send a little shiver down Tex's spine. When Bianca pulled back with a tiny pop, Tex found he could still feel the imprint of her lips on his mouth.

She smelled like just the right amount of laundry detergent.

"That was--that was fun." Tex stammered.

He hadn't even realized he'd reached for Bianca's waist, although he had little interest in removing his hands.

"We could do it again." she suggested.

"We could do that."

Bianca's eyes were wide with expectation, but suddenly, all that Tex could think about were consequences.

His face fell when he remembered what was around Bianca's finger.

"I can't." he muttered.

"Huh?"

"I just can't. I'm sorry. This feels wrong."

"That's alright. You don't need to be sorry."

Bianca wasn't smiling anymore, but she didn't seem upset. Tex wished he could relate as he let his hands fall from her back.

"I'm sorry." he repeated.

"It's alright. It's not a big deal."

Tex didn't let it show on his face, but Bianca's words stung.

"Do you need a moment alone?" asked Bianca.

"...It'd be nice."

"Alright. I'll leave you be."

Bianca stepped away. Tex suddenly felt very cold.

"Wait." he said before she could turn around.

"Hmm?"

"Are we okay?"

"Of course we're okay. You're still my friend."

Tex didn't say anything. Bianca gave him one last look before turning around.

"If I don't see you tonight, I'll see you next Wednesday." she said as she started to make her way back.

Tex continued to stare straight ahead, having no intentions of watching her leave.

He felt like he needed to unload on someone. Preferably someone at the gathering. His first thought was Junji, but he wasn't about to talk to another man about girl problems.

Tex grit his teeth and pulled out his phone when he realized what he had to do.

To Gamer Gril

can you come out to the hallway?

By the time Tala replied, Tex had migrated back inside the building.

From Gamer Gril

what's going on?

To Gamer Gril

need your help

To Gamer Gril

i'll explain in person

From Gamer Gril

give me a minute

Tala stepped out of Bianca's office. The moment she'd appeared, Tex motioned for her to follow him into the single-occupant men's room.

"Gross." Tala said as Tex closed the door. "Why do you have to be so secretive?"

"I'm having a crisis." Tex grunted.

"Did you shit yourself again?"

"When did--no, Bianca just came onto me."

Tala didn't even blink.

"Okay." she replied.

"And I turned her down."

"It would be weird if you hadn't."

Tex rubbed his temples.

"What's your advice?" asked Tex.

"Well, you liked her for a long time, and when she finally showed interest in you, you realized you couldn't go through with it. You're obviously feeling vulnerable and empty, so you should probably fuck the first person you see."

Tex scoffed and shook his head.

"How many people do you think wanna fuck me?" he wondered.

"Twenty-six."

"...What?"

Tala began to count on her fingers.

"There's the ticket woman at the train station," she started, "the guy who rides the twenty-one and always walks around with his colored pencil drawings of furries, the Japanese lady who runs the teriyaki place, and her husband wants to watch, so I counted that as a half--"

"The one on California Avenue?" Tex cut in.

"No, the one in Jefferson square, although the one on California is run by a guy who says he'd pick you if he had to have sex with a man, which I counted as another half--"

"Was wondering how it was gonna end up being an integer."

"And also, every member of the Log Cabin Republican club."

"Every member?"

"Yeah. They call you 'Tex on a stick'."

Tex hadn't even known that there were twenty-six people in Seattle who knew who he was.

"Why do everybody wanna screw me so bad?" he asked.

"Because people are tired of men in skinny jeans."

"...Oh."

"Also you have a big ass."

Tex yelped and backed into the wall as quickly as he could.

"I don't have a big ass!" he hissed.

"Hey, I wasn't the one who said it."

"Yes, you were."

"That's a good point."

Tex closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead until he'd calmed down. To his surprise, he found himself continuing to humor Tala's idea.

"Look." Tex started. "Just cause somebody wants to screw me don't mean I could get them to at a moment's notice."

"You could probably get Junji to."

"Why do--why do you think that?"

"He had sex with me when I was trying to rebound."

Tex's eyes widened into circles.

"You let Junji fuck you?" he asked.

"Yeah, I found out he knows how to backwards long jump up the stairs to Bowser's castle." answered Tala.

"What?"

"They didn't put a cap on backwards momentum. So if you face down the stairs and jump--"

"That's not why I said 'what'."

"I know I just really wanted to make sure you knew I knew how to do a backwards long jump."

Tex grit his teeth so hard it hurt. Tala let out a tiny groan.

"You're not going to flip out, are you?" she asked.

Tala's voice wasn't quite exasperated, but it seemed to be getting there.

"I need to go talk to somebody." said Tex.

"Oh, come on, don't--"

Tex was already in the hall by the time Tala had finished her sentence.

Thankfully, she didn't follow him.

By the time Tex had gotten back to the meeting, he'd unconsciously tied his coat around his waist. Bianca was talking to Sean, although Tex thought it best not to pay too much attention.

Junji was engaged in a conversation with Caverly. They both looked up as Tex made his way over.

"Hello." Junji greeted. "We were just discussing--"

"Man, that's great." Tex replied. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Junji's mouth tightened into a line. Caverly's gaze darted between the two of them for a long moment before she took a few side steps away.

Tex got the feeling he was going to regret being rude later, but it wasn't later yet.

"Would you like to step out?" Junji muttered.

"Reckon I would."

Although he was reluctant, Junji followed Tex out of Bianca’s office. Tex couldn't see any signs of Tala in the hall, but he pulled Junji into the women's room instead of the men's to be safe.

"Have I done something wrong?" Junji asked after Tex had shut them in.

"I dunno. Did you have sex with Tala?"

Junji's face turned to stone.

"Yes." he answered.

"How could you do something like that?"

Junji didn't seem to understand the question.

"Are you upset with me?" asked Junji.

"Hell yeah I'm upset. She's way too young for you."

"She's twenty-six."

"So?"

"I'm twenty-nine."

In about a tenth of a second, Tex subtracted twenty-six from twenty-nine. When he ended up getting only three, he spent another two tenths of a second putting the number twenty-nine on top of twenty-six, subtracting six from nine, and adding it to the sum of twenty minus twenty to get three again.

He wasn't sure why, but he hadn't realized Junji was nearly a decade younger than him.

"You still shouldn't sleep with your coworkers." said Tex.

"I disagree."

"Course you do."

"We were intimate a few times until she started dating someone, over a month ago. She understood that I didn't intend for it to lead anywhere, and the same was true in the reverse. Our friendship did not suffer in the slightest."

As skeptical as Tex was, he couldn't deny that Junji's relationship with Tala seemed solid.

"Anybody else you rolled around with?" Tex asked.

"I don't see how that is any of your concern."

"Anybody you ain't rolled around with?"

"You."

"Yeah, and it's gonna stay that way."

Junji let out a short exhale and looked at Tex like he was a child. After replaying his words in his head, Tex realized that he deserved it.

Although it was far from enough to make him consider backing down.

"Why are you upset with me?" Junji wondered.

"Why am I upset with you?" Tex spat. "Cause everyone's been acting batshit since you came along."

"Batshit?"

"They're all--standing close together, talking about sex--"

"I've offered a superior way to live, and the free market has spoken."

Tex's jaw snapped itself into an expression of aggravation.

"I'm not forcing people to do anything." followed Junji.

"Really? Cause I get the feeling that you might change your mind on that once the whole dictator thing works out for you."

"And the whole dictator thing has not yet worked out."

Tex felt his jaw soften.

"I'd thought you'd noticed." Junji continued.

Tex sighed and began to rub his eyes under his glasses. He desperately wanted comfort, but he did his best to suppress the urge.

"What are you afraid of?" asked Junji.

Junji's voice was less biting than it had been. Tex stopped rubbing his eyes to see that his vision had been tinted slightly yellow.

"Don't feel like there's much of a point in making an argument." Tex answered.

"Why not?"

"Cause I know you'll make a better one."

Junji cracked a smile.

"That does not make me right." he replied.

Tex let out a happy scoff. It was a relief when the last of his anger dripped away.

Still, he turned on the cold water and rubbed some on his face before he spoke up again.

"Look, I don't like how you've changed things." Tex started. "But I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"I understand."

"And I'll admit, I might be a little heated for some, uh, personal reasons."

"Oh. Would you like to discuss them?"

Junji’s eyes were open and inviting. Tex felt his mouth twist to the side as his mind ran over his encounter with Bianca.

"You know what?" answered Tex. "Sure."

Although he was silent as Tex gave him the story, Junji's eyebrows flicked up at all the appropriate times. As strange as it felt for Tex to talk to Junji about such an intimate problem, his hesitations were overpowered by his curiosity towards what Junji’s opinion on the situation would be.

Junji nodded once Tex had finished talking.

"I think you made the right decision." Junji stated.

"You do?"

"Yes. It would've been dishonest for you to let her pursue you. You wanted more than she did, and what you wanted was unsustainable."

Tex was glad to hear Junji's words, less because they were informative and more because he was glad to know Junji was able to understand the concept.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Junji asked.

"Not really. Just kinda sucks."

"Yes, sometimes things do that."

Tex couldn't think of anything else to say. Too much silence passed between the two of them to be comfortable.

"Well, I must be going." Junji said as he hiked up his pant leg, pulled a long knife from his bag, and slid it into a holster fixed to his ankle.

"You gonna go kill somebody?"

"No one you would be fond of."

"You need help?"

"No, but I appreciate your offer."

Junji waved goodbye as he left the bathroom. Tex needed about a minute and a half to collect himself before he felt ready to leave.

Caverly glanced at Tex out of the corner of her eye as Tex entered the meeting room, and fully met his gaze when he made his way over.

"Hey, uh, sorry about that." he said to her.

"It's okay." she replied. "Are you and Junji alright?"

"Yeah. Just a...weird misunderstanding."

Bianca was still talking to Sean. Tex caught his first look at her face since their walk.

Out of all the things he thought he might feel, complete indifference came as a shock.

"Where'd he go?" asked Caverly.

"Junji? He had to go--money laundering."

Up until that moment, Tex had never thought about why he'd been attracted to Bianca. When he found himself unable to come up with any answers that weren't superficial, he began to suspect that it had just been loneliness.

It wasn't a good suspicion.

"Think I'm gonna dip, I'm feeling kinda tired." Tex said. "Could you tell Tala I said I'm sorry?"

"Uh, sure."

"Thanks."

Tex grabbed himself a full cup of wine before leaving Bianca's office. In the elevator ride back to his room, he knocked the whole thing back.

The last text he'd sent to Lida was four years prior, telling her he never wanted to talk to her again.

He wondered how she'd respond to another message.