As the kids started arguing and hitting Noboru, Topher decided to try to get something more useful done. Muttering "status open" to himself, he picked up his pen and started to copy down his status window's contents.
Name:
Christopher Bailey
Level:
1
Class:
Otherworlder
Strength:
Rank F
Dexterity:
Rank F
Constitution:
Rank F
Intelligence:
Rank D
Wisdom:
Rank D
Charisma:
Rank F
Skills:
Literacy (Rank D)
Mathematics (Rank D)
Cooking (Rank F)
Customer Service (Rank D)
Data Entry and Filing (Rank B)
Packaging and Shipping (Rank D)
Home Appliance Repair (Rank F)
Pen Spinning (Rank A)
Special Skills:
None
Unique Skill:
Attract Object
When he'd copied everything down, the window disappeared, which confused him. Maybe it only stays open as long as you're focusing on it? That's annoying. He tapped the pen against his teeth, trying to figure out what it all meant. Guess I'm not going to be able to puzzle it out with a Rank D Intelligence, he grumbled to himself bitterly.
"Bailey-sensei? What are you doing?" A floral scent wafted over his shoulder as Haruko leaned over it, reading what he'd written. "Is that... your status?"
Topher nodded. "Yeah. But these grades could mean anything. I mean, what's D-Rank compared to F-Rank, really? Is it like, 20% better?"
"That's strange." Hotaka had come over as well, and was puzzling over what Topher had written. "Your status looks different than mine."
"It does?" Topher blinked. "What's your status look like?" As the bespectacled boy described it to him, he copied it down on a different page than his own.
Name:
Hotaka Hirota
Level:
1
Class:
Otherworlder
HP:
10/10
MP:
0/0
SP:
11/13
Strength:
Rank F
Dexterity:
Rank F
Constitution:
Rank F
Intelligence:
Rank D
Wisdom:
Rank F
Charisma:
Rank F
Skills:
Literacy (Rank D)
Mathematics (Rank D)
Social Studies (Rank F)
Video Games (Rank F)
Shamisen (Rank B)
Special Skills:
Improved Status
Unique Skill:
Summon Vegetable
"Huh. Why do you have more stats?" Topher rubbed his face with his palm. "And what do the extra ones mean?"
"I think the 'SP' is 'Special Points' or 'Skill Points'. It goes down every time I use my Summon Vegetable power," reported Hotaka. "You guys don't have that in your status?"
The others all shook their heads. "It must be because you have the 'Improved Status' special skill," observed Noboru. "If you could see our statuses, maybe you could see our HP and stuff too."
"Huh." Topher spun the pen in his hand absent-mindedly. "Noboru, tell me your stats too. Maybe knowing everyone's will help us compare them." The fat boy complied, and Makoto and Haruko followed suit. After a few minutes, Topher had three more pages:
Name:
Noboru Taniguchi
Level:
1
Class:
Cantor
Strength:
Rank D
Dexterity:
Rank F
Constitution:
Rank D
Intelligence:
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Rank F
Wisdom:
Rank D
Charisma:
Rank F
Skills:
Literacy (Rank D)
Mathematics (Rank D)
Video Games (Rank D)
Drawing (Rank D)
Comedy (Rank F)
Special Skills:
None
Unique Skill:
Destroy Paper
Name:
Makoto Yoshihara
Level:
1
Class:
Otherworlder
Strength:
Rank F
Dexterity:
Rank D
Constitution:
Rank D
Intelligence:
Rank F
Wisdom:
Rank F
Charisma:
Rank F
Skills:
Literacy (Rank F)
Mathematics (Rank F)
Soccer (Rank D)
Martial Arts (Rank F)
Poetry (Rank F)
Cleaning (Rank C)
Special Skills:
Enhanced Hearing
Unique Skill:
Control Smoke
Name:
Haruko Ikehara
Level:
1
Class:
Otherworlder
Strength:
Rank F
Dexterity:
Rank F
Constitution:
Rank F
Intelligence:
Rank F
Wisdom:
Rank F
Charisma:
Rank D
Skills:
Literacy (Rank C)
Mathematics (Rank D)
Anger Management (Rank A)
Animal Handling (Rank F)
Sewing (Rank F)
Special Skills:
None
Unique Skill:
Flower Magic
Topher put down the pen, massaging a cramp out of his hand. "Okay, that's even more confusing."
"I'll say," Hotaka commented, peering down at the paper. "Why is Noboru the only one with a Class?"
"That's not nearly as stupid as the fact that you're the only one with Social Studies in your Skill list," Makoto shot back. "We all took Social Studies, for crying out loud! Why are you the only one who has it in your list?"
"Maybe... maybe there's a minimum?" ventured Haruko hesitantly. "Maybe the rest of us don't even rate Rank F. Like there's a 'no rank' below that, or something like that."
There was a moment of silence, during which Topher grappled with the idea that the only reason Masturbation hadn't shown up in his skill list was only because he was apparently so terrible at it that he didn't even rate Rank F. He hoped the fact wasn't occurring to the others. "Look," he coughed, "without some way to match these letters to something we can measure, it still doesn't mean anything. The only one of these we could even try to compare with numbers is Strength."
"Even that wouldn't mean anything!" Makoto protested. "What if I can squat more than Four-Eyes over there, but he benches more than I do?"
"I probably don't," muttered Hotaka, sounding very defeated.
"But what if you did?" Makoto countered. "Would that invalidate the rankings?"
"It wouldn't do much good even if it did," Noboru pointed out. "It's not like we can argue with our status windows."
"Noboru-kun, you have the highest stats," Haruko cut in. "Three Rank D abilities, while the rest of us only have two or fewer. Maybe that's why you have a class? Because the rest of us don't qualify with our lower attributes?"
"Ahhh, we're just guessin'," puffed Topher, throwing up his hands in frustration. "The only real thing we learned from all this is that we all suck."
"Respectfully, Bailey-sensei, that's not true," Noboru commented peaceably. "We've also learned that we really can see our statuses, and others also can't see them." Which means, Topher realized unhappily, that some or all of us could be lying about what our statuses say. He didn't say it out loud, though, not least of which because he wished he'd thought of it first -- although, he was forced to admit to himself after a moment, that he probably wouldn't have been creative enough to make anything else up anyway, with his stupid Rank D Intelligence. Hey, look, an inferiority complex, some distant part of his mind observed. Because that's what we really needed right now.
There was a long moment of silence, then Hotaka coughed. "I think we've learned a few things too. I've been paying attention, and I've noticed a couple of things." He began to tick points off on his fingers. "First, what Watanabe-san said about the S-Rank heroes in his class -- that the girl who had the strongest stats and powers was also very pretty."
"What, now you're saying we're ugly, on top of everything else?" Makoto exploded. She started to leap up and grab the bespectacled boy, but Noboru and Topher managed to restrain her before she could strangle him.
Hotaka carried on, oblivious. "I noticed something similar in our class -- the students with the highest attribute and skill ranks were all the most attractive and popular students, like Arima-sama and Sugimoto-sama. They're practically on a different level than us, and always have been."
Haruko's lip had started to tremble. "So... so you're saying we really are lower than them."
"Hey, no, shut up, that's not what he's saying. Right?" Topher glared at Hotaka.
The smaller boy shrugged. "Beats me what it means. I'm just pointing out what I'm seeing." He ticked another point off on his fingers. "Second, the attribute and skill ranks do at least somewhat match up with what we know from our original world. Noboru-kun's definitely stronger than I am, and I've seen Makoto-chan play soccer -- she's really good." The other girl calmed down a little at this, albeit slightly, and sniffed with apparent disdain. "There's still a lot we don't know, but at least we can make guesses about those things."
Haruko clutched her notebook to her chest, looking down at the floor. "Wow, Hotaka-kun. You're really smart."
"Well, he does have Rank D Intelligence," pointed out Noboru. "We all have Rank F, except for Bailey-sensei."
Topher winced. "I don't think that means all that much, kid. I definitely don't feel any smarter than the rest of you, no matter what that crazy status window says."
A short silence settled over the group; Topher spun his pen some more, while Makoto kicked her feet and Noboru twiddled his thumbs. "Maybe we could test out our Unique Skills next," ventured Haruko.
"Maybe we could get something to eat," growled Topher. "I'm starving."
"How would we do that?" Makoto protested. "We have to stay here for Watanabe-san to come back. If he's even coming back."
Hotaka pondered the situation. "We could make something here, maybe? Bailey-sensei has the Cooking skill, and I could summon some ingredients."
Topher shrugged. "If you can find a fire and something to cook with, sure."
Noboru coughed. "Well, I'm only a dummy with Rank F Intelligence, but I don't think cooking with an open flame in a barn above a stable filled with hay is a good idea." Topher found himself unable to stop a bark of laughter from coming out of his mouth before he clamped his jaws together. Guess I'm not the only one with an inferiority complex about those Intelligence ranks.
In the end, they had to settle for a dry Greek salad with no cheese -- Hotaka summoned another bell pepper, a head of lettuce, and some olives, and Topher did his best to assemble them despite the lack of cooking implements. Haruko folded a few sheets of paper into flat little containers, and Noboru folded another sheet into a wedge that very approximately resembled a knife. "It's not much, but maybe you could smash an olive or two with it before it gets soggy," he said apologetically as he handed it to Topher.
"Hmm." Topher turned the thing about a few times -- it looked worryingly like a shiv of some kind. "Well, folded paper should be pretty tough, but it won't cut."
"I know." Noboru's shoulders slumped. "Too bad my Unique Skill isn't Shape Paper, instead."
Something tickled in the depths of Topher's brain. "Hm. Didn't that ninja turtle sculptor guy say that carving was about removing the excess, or something?" He handed the shiv back to Noboru. "What about destroying the 'extra' paper around the cutting edge, to make it thinner? No big deal if you mess it up -- we've got plenty of paper."
The chubby boy nodded hesitantly, and screwed up his face as he held up the wedge. It seemed to waver, then grow sharper, and the boy's eyes widened. "Hey, I think I did it!"
"Good job, kid." Topher took the "knife" back and assayed a cut against an olive, which worked well enough but immediately turned the paper into a soggy mess. "Worth a shot. But good to know you can do it, yeah?"
"Just a minute, Bailey-sensei." Noboru was already folding another piece of paper into a second wedge. "If I destroy the flat parts of the surface too, maybe I can make it water-resistant."
It took him several tries, and thus a half-dozen sheets of paper, but eventually he succeeded in producing something that looked quite a bit like a wooden knife, albeit a bright yellow legal-ruled wooden knife. Impressed, Topher chopped the olives, peppers, and lettuce, then pressed one of the cut olives with the flat side of the blade to drizzle a little olive juice onto the top of each "plate". "There you go, folks, dinner is served. Eat it quick before it soaks through."
Everyone ate, though it wasn't enough food and was dreadfully bland by the standards of modern cuisine. Topher sighed. "Well, at least we won't starve. Good job, everybody."
Hotaka coughed again. "It depends. Summoning those took me down to 7 out of 13 SP."
"Does it refill when you sleep?" wondered Noboru. "That's how it works in video games."
"Omigosh, you freaking nerds," Makoto hissed. "I should have known both of you would have the Video Games skill."
"You should probably be grateful, actually," Hotaka retorted. "This world does kind of seem like a video game." Makoto spluttered, but didn't have a good response, and after a while they all sat in silence.
Unexpectedly Haruko spoke up into the silence. "I don't know how to use my power."
Topher shrugged. "Neither did the rest of us, at first. Did you try doing what Smart Boy over there said? Concentrating on the skill name, then doing what comes naturally?"
She nodded. "I did. A bunch of times. But it's not working." She clutched her notebook more tightly. "I think it might be because it's a 'Magic' skill."
"Do you have any MP?" asked Noboru brightly.
She shook her head. "It doesn't say it in my status. But maybe Hotaka-kun could..."
"I can only see my own status," Hotaka reminded her. "Maybe you have to learn how to cast spells first?"
Haruko seemed to shrink into herself. "But... how would I do that?"
Noboru shrugged. "Find a spellbook, maybe. Wizards always need spellbooks in games."
"God, would you shut up about --" Makoto began, then gasped.
"What? What is it?" Topher jumped up, adrenaline flooding through his system and causing his entire body to erupt in aches and weird feelings.
The tough-looking girl's face was gray around the bandage over her nose. "You guys, I don't think Ichirou-san is coming back."
"Ehh? Why not?" Haruko's eyes seemed huge in the dimming light -- the sun must be going down, Topher realized.
Makoto pointed out the window, towards a large knot of people in the street below. "Because I think that's him, over there, getting arrested."