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The Baddest MotherFucker

The Baddest MotherFucker

Chapter 5

Silence descended upon the bar. Not a single thing moved and Death, just for the occasion materialized a pin and let it fall to the ground. The tiny clink was painfully loud as the patrons of The Olde Oyster refused to move even after the comedic trigger. The expressions of the patrons weren’t that unexpected, shock to surprise and every shade between. However these faces weren’t befitting of the toughest members of the city and soon rage took over.

The most volatile part of the group, which was to say, nearly all, grabbed the nearest thing they could wield and charged straight at Jason. Whether it was a sword, a dagger, a bottle or even  bar stool. Jason meanwhile cheerily waited until the first of the mob managed to get to him. A bull of a man, you could see steam coming out of his nose and red glinting in his eyes as he swung a massive club at him. The tree limb must have weighed more than its victim however Jason simply grabbed it.

“I AM THE BADDEST MOTHERFUCKER AROUND HERE!”

Jason roared the words and the foundations of the building shuddered at the force. But Jason didn’t let up, he tore the giant’s club out of his grasp and, using the momentum of the pull, did a complete turn before caving the mountain’s head in, letting of the makeshift blackjack fly out of his hands in the process. Blood and brains rained down on the crooks that happened to be close to the big man, but if they were disturbed by the scene they hid it very well. A barrage of daggers and broken bottles assaulted Jason, Jason himself though was a hurricane, his palms redirected every object that tried to harm him. And the men that weren’t cut by their own knives received a punch instead, whether temple, stomach or groin, none were spared. The first wave of attackers were quickly reduced to mincemeat, leaving a clear view for Jason to survey his surroundings.

It wasn’t a pretty sight. Upturned chairs and tables, shattered glasses, their precious liquids mixing with the dirt and shit that flowed off the corpses around Jason. Beyond this there were the stragglers, the cowards who didn’t have the spine to attack. And the predators, those who weren’t dumb enough to join the initial rush, who instead watched and waited, ready for an opening. These included the trio of women earlier, now that Jason could observe them he saw some sort of tribal armor and feathers in their hair. They were standing in a tightly packed defensive position. The others were a vagabond with a crossbow aimed squarely Jason’s chest, a hooded figure in the corner and lanky man right in the middle between Jason and the others, his sword hanging limply by his side, uncertain what to do.

“Go home mate.” Jason said to the man “You’re out of your depth here.”

The man relieved, ran straight out the door.

“Well, ladies and gentlemen. I have proposition for you all, if anyone of you fine, upstanding citizens of the city can land a single hit on me I’ll give you a bag of gold and a job offer.” Jason said clasping his hands together.

The others of the bar looked uncertainly at each other. The man with the Arbalest asked.

“Where is the gold?”

Before he could finish a giant backpack appeared on the floor, it was filled to the brim with shining gold coins. Jason went over to the pile, grabbed a coin and flipped it over to the man.

Although astonished by the sudden feat, the vagabond caught the coin, inspected it, bit into it before saying.

“It’s real alright”

He threw it to the girls, one verified its authenticity while the other asked “How do we know this isn’t just magic? What if you’re tricking us and the gold will turn to stone?”

Jason shrugged “You have nothing other than my good word. If you don’t want it, you can leave. You’ve earned that much by proving to me you’re not stupid.”

Without warning the vagabond pulled the trigger to his crossbow. The arrow would have smashed apart the ribcage of Jason had he not redirected it at the women running towards him. They skillfully dodged the oncoming missile before engaging in a close combat melee. They worked in perfect harmony, each aiming for vital spots, Jason naturally parried it all but nevertheless he had little room for breathing space. The encounter didn’t last long before they heard the vagabond yelling “Get clear!”

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The three didn’t need encouragement, as soon they were away from Jason an arrow zoomed straight into him, or where he should have been. Instead the bolt smashed into the wood behind the bar.

“Very good, but not good enough.” Jason said.

He appeared behind the vagabond who was furiously trying to reload the mechanism. The poor man froze at the sound coming from behind him. Without further warning Jason punched the victim in the back. The vagabond flew like a bowling ball at the trio of women still looking for where Jason had gone. The resulting pile of tangled limbs was quite funny.

“Argh!” sudden pain hit Jason in the abdomen, he saw, to his great surprise, a knife sticking out from his hip. The knife was attached to a grubby hand, and that grubby hand was attached to a grinning face, the cloaked stranger in fact turned out to be a boy, he was young enough to have acne.

“You little shit!” Jason said.

He grabbed the knife and yanked it out before healing the wound. 

“You lose guys, the little boy here is the winner, go home.” He said to the groaning heap of flesh.

“Now then,” Jason scooped up the bag off the ground and handed it to the boy. “What your name boy?”

“Boy? I ain’t much older then you mister!” The boy scowled.

“Age comes with wisdom boy, so what’s your name?” Jason asked

“Peyton.”  The boy said, still scowling.

“Well Peyton, my name is Jason and the man drinking at the bar over there is Death.”

Death raised a lazy hand towards Peyton before going back to a drink he found behind the bar.

“Death? Is that his real name?” Peyton asked as he looked at Death.

“Yeah, don’t let it bother you, he’s a good friend, known him all my life.”

Death snorted into his drink.

“Anyway what are you going to do with the money Peyton?” Jason asked as they left The Olde Oyster.

“Well I’m gonna buy my mum and sisters a big house to live in and fancy dresses and a carriage and enough food to never go hungry again!” Peyton exclaimed.

“Very noble.” Jason nodded along before asking “I take it your family is poor then?”

Peyton shrugged. “Ever since Pa left us we’ve been scraping by, but the debt to the Thief King has been getting bigger and bigger. They’ve been to our house and said the next time they’ll come they’ll be taking one of my sisters.”

Jason whistled. “I suggest you use the money to clear the debt then.”

Peyton laughed “There’s plenty of money in here for that!” suddenly Peyton stopped in his tracks.

“You’re not gonna take this back are you? I saw you how you handled those people.” Peyton hugged the gold close to his chest.”

Jason patted Peyton on the shoulder in a friendly fashion. “Don’t worry mate, if I wanted the gold I wouldn’t have given it away in the first place.”

Peyton nodded. “That sounds about right, no one would part with money willingly.”

“So Peyton.” Jason continued. “How good is your knowledge? How much do you know about the city?”

Peyton thought a while before continuing. “A fair bit.”

“Wonderful! Allow me to ask a few questions then” Jason said.

Peyton shrugged “Go ahead.”

“Right.” Jason said “Here’s a doozy, where am I?”

Peyton frowned “Do you mean the district or…?”

“As in what do you call the Planet.” Jason said in the most offhanded manner possible.

“Oh.” Peyton seemed a bit worried now.

“Well, I don’t know what a planet is but the name of the world is Rea.”

“Right, let’s start there and work our way inwards. Continents.” Jason said.

“Well, there’s Queren in the East, Yellige to the West, Rothfur to the North and Sat-hir to the South. We’re right in the middle in Uruba. They say there are more continents further out but nobody really believes it.”

“Okay what about countries?”

“Well in Uruba there are three nations, Dwarves to the north, Elves to the east and humans to the West.  There’s a mountain range between the Dwarves and the rest of us called the Jagged Mountains, it’s nearly impassible and the ways that are accessible are heavily guarded, few are allowed to leave and enter.”

“And what about the Elves and Humans?”

“Well we have a sort of alliance with each other, lots of politics but the gist is we send important people there and in exchange they send important people to us. And if one of us does something like start a war then the other side is free to do whatever it wants with the hostages.”

“Interesting.” Jason mused “And where is this city?”

“We’re in the capital of the human race. Just south of the Jagged Mountains, there are a number of villages around us that provide the city with important stuff, like food.”

“You know much more than I thought you would.” Jason commented.

Peyton shrugged. “I used to go to school.”

“Well then tell me about the city.” Jason said.

“There are the Slums, Harbor, Trade Ward, Dwarf Quarter, Elf Quarter, Noble District and the Palace.”

“And where are we?” Jason asked.

“We’re just leaving the Harbor and entering the Slums.”

The streets around them started to look more ragged, shit lined the pavement, hobos in the alleys, gangs on street corners and rats running along drain pipes. But no one attacked them, someone even waved at Peyton.

Eventually they arrived at a rundown building, the windows were boarded up, door slammed shut, the roof seemed to have collapsed onto the second floor at some point, making only the first floor useful.

“Here we are then.” Peyton said.