Chapter 15

This time when they stepped out of the coach they were greeted by the strangest sight. A skyscraper that was round, or that’s what Jason would have called it, it was in fact the University of Magic and Science, a mash of stone bricks, cement and glass, oh and there was also a giant fucking dragon at the top.

“We’ve got to stop being amazed by everything.” Peyton said.

Jason snorted “Speak for yourself, I’ve only been amazed once so far.”

They left the coach outside and entered the building, the steps leading up to them were rock? Metal? Jason wasn’t sure but he was quite amused by the sight of a ramp zig zagging next to the set of steps.

Once inside the family was greeted by a casino like foyer. Rich red carpet covered the entire floor, brown wooden panels decorated with magical lights that emitted a pasty yellowish glow. In the middle of the place was a giant globe with a spaceship circling around it, except the globe was more like chunks of rock held together by some strange blue light, and the spaceship was in fact a beetle that seemed to be propelling itself forward by shooting fire out of its anus.

“Thoughts?” Jason asked.

“Is that a cockroach?” Ilios asked.

“Na it’s more like a grasshopper.” Gwandere replied.

“Why?” Ilios looked at Gwandere questioningly.

“It isn’t brown.” Gwandere nodded to herself.

They walked around the strange structure and found the receptionist’s desk, the person behind was a young woman, she was currently manicuring her nails with her feet up in the air.

“Fees and Inquires first floor on right, Wards and Enchantments third floor second door, Dark Dysmals and their Defence fifth floor two turns left on the right and The Boiler is in the basement.”

Jason just stood there, entertained by the receptionist’s attitude, while the others around him just shuffled their feet uncomfortably.

About a minute or so later the woman looked up again and started speaking “Fees and Inquirees-”

“Yes yes I heard you the first time” Jason waved his hand. “I thought this was a university.”

The woman frowned “I’m sorry sir but I will have to ask you to leave the premises or I will be forced to call the guards.”

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The children all looked at Jason uncertainly, he however simply smiled and oozed some calm and confidence into the atmosphere.

“I really only want to validate if this is the correct building we are in, no need for something so rash.”

The woman was really getting angry now. “Security!”

Two burly men in tuxedos came out from a hidden door that was previously camouflaged into the wall. Without further prompting they walked straight up to Jason and were about to grab him when they walked into an invisible barrier. The barrier extended all the way around the group, who were in turn getting quite scared.

“What’s going on Jason?” Nasha asked uncertainly.

“Calm” Jason drew the word out, like letting out a breath, and the world fell away. The guards, the receptionist, the fire shitting bug, everything turned to dust, leaving only a pristine white that stretched on forever.

“There seemed to be a dangerous situation boiling out of control so I took you guys out of there pronto.” Jason said and made a chair for everyone to sit in. “Welcome to MySpace, it is another dimension I created for myself for just such an eventuality. I’ll leave you guys in here until I sort out the mess on the other side. Please enjoy the food.” Jason waved his hand and an all you can eat buffet appeared.

“See ya!” Jason grinned before disappearing, leaving his stunned, foster nephew and nieces with shocked expressions in an alternate dimension.

“Now then” Jason reappeared in the foyer of this supposed university “Could someone please tell me what’s going on?” he called out.

“He’s back! Get him!” The receptionist was still there and upon noticing Jason she pointed to him like an all evil overlord and her too goons bull rushed Jason.

Jason in turn smiled his trademark smile and froze the two security guards to stone. They stopped in mid stride with one feet in the air, causing them to lose their balance in their static state. The solid henchmen crashed to the floor revealing the woman behind them, apparently she deemed it safe enough to come out from behind the counter and was now a few meters from Jason with nothing between her and her aggressor.

Still smiling Jason asked once more, “Is. This. The University?”

The woman stumbled back, screaming at the top of her lungs, throwing accusations at Jason, from assault to rape and calling desperately for more security. Jason calmly waited and stayed right where he was, meanwhile the woman was crawling further and further away from him, sobbing now as she kept calling out for anyone to help her. After a while Jason got bored and looked around, behind the reception desk was a makeup kit, a ledger about who entered and exited the building, and a strange pink object.

“Really?” Jason said as he picked up the thing, it started vibrating in his hand.

“A magical dildo, un-fucking believable.”

By now Jason had enough and went back to the woman wallowing in her own tears. “All right you pansy assed bitch, I tried being nice but now I simply don’t care,  either you tell me what I want to know or I’ll shove this thing so far up your ass you won’t shit for a month.”

At this the woman bawled even harder but started talking, “You pig… “*sniff* “Men are all pigs that treat us like objects! You monster! Haven’t you tortured me enough? Fine! Do your worst!”

Jason let out an exasperated sigh. “Listen, I don’t want to hear about twisted feministic ideals and hidden insecurities. Just tell me, is this the University?”

Still sniffling the woman pointed to another wall panel and said “Thirteenth floor.”

“Thank you,” Jason said, he dropped the dildo on the floor and went to the elevator.