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How to obtain enlightenment, the easy way.

How to obtain enlightenment, the easy way.

Chapter 3

“Damn mate, that was ballsy.” Said Death

He was jogging next to Jason, they were both running down an alley at the speed of a jaguar, and didn’t even break a sweat.

“Figured I’ll make some noise, but you’ve got to admit it. Her ass was really damn fine.” “Yep, no doubt about it.” Death agreed. “And her face! Bet no one treated her like that ever since she was born”

Jason looked behind them. “They’re still chasing us.”

After the incident the elves gave chase, running at full speed, trying to keep up to Death and Jason. As they ran through the city, elves started calling out to other elves in foreign tongues. Causing those of their race to take up the hunt. They skipped over barrels, slid over buildings and did some cool parkour. But none of them could catch Jason and Death. They were hurtling through the streets at tremendous speed, like dancers. As swift and graceful as a river current.

“Fine, if they want to catch us, let’s make them work for it.”

With that Jason ran with a burst of speed and suddenly stopped. They were in the middle of an alley, Walls 5 meters high stood all about them, they were trapped. A second later the first elf (one of the guards) came into the alley with them, he stopped rested his hands on his knees for a second and said between lungful’s of air.

“You’re tapped…. Now heavens….. You’ll pay… for what you…. Did.”

“Easy there bud.” Jason smiled good naturedly, “Take a few deep breaths and start over, no need to rush.”

The elf simply snarled. But by then the other elves arrived as well, so he stood up straight and said.

“Silence human, you have violated an ambassador of the high elves, you will pay for you crimes!”

Jason slapped his cheeks with both hands and cried “Oh No! Whatever will I do now?” Before smiling he said “I know! How about this!”

And with that he ran up the wall.

The elf was struck dumbfounded, his brethren about him paralyzed in the same way. Numbly their heads slowly turned towards Death in comical unison, who in turned laughed, made a shooing motion with his hands before running after Jason.

Jason hooted, he was having the time of his life as he hurtled over the tiles, his feet barely skimming the ground, thieves and assassins stumbled out of the way while the human comet passed by them, taking their balance and lives in the process.

At some point Death caught up and they flew over the streets and alleys. Never slowing, never stopping, they were wind in the air, mere fabrics pushed along by gusts, on and on. Once, a human on a griffin tried to subdue them, throwing a net over the two bullets. Who in turn merely snickered and increased their speed. At one point they left the city behind and simply ran over the plains and trees that passed them, they kept going as the world slowly began to incline, a mountain ranged appeared on the horizon and they made their way to it. At this point they didn’t see the ground below them, just the blur of green, grey and blue. They reached the base of the mountains and up they went, rocks and boulders trembling in their wake while snow fell and avalanches formed from the shockwaves Death and Jason caused in their passing. When they reached the tip of the tallest mountain they stopped. Dust stirred in their wake and the boom of sound could be heard slowly coming towards them. Jason chuckled,

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“Looks like we broke the sound barrier.”

He looked around, what he saw froze him in his tracks. The entire world could be perceived in all its ever expanding beauty, the edges of the horizon rounding off, Jason could see, above and below, clouds wafting past. From soft lamb wool to drift streaks all about them, and everything was constantly assaulted by the wind. The wind, my god, it was so strong it could tear the head off a normal man.

“Who goes there?”

Jason and Death turn around to see a frail and knobbly old man looking at them. His skin was brown and parched, and a wispy beard trailed down to the ground. He had nothing on save for a loincloth which didn’t even cover his warted little member. He was sitting on a single stick, about a meter tall, perfectly upright and at ease.

“Hi, I’m Jason, this is Death!” Jason pronounced jovially.

“Why have you disturbed me Jason and… Death.”

The stranger’s voice was parched and gravelly.

“I’m sorry could you repeat that? I can’t hear you over all the water you’re drinking.”

The stranger grunted in annoyance. “Don’t mock me, I can see you are no ordinary humans by the fact that you even got up here, but I will not tolerate arrogance.”

“Yeah sure, sure.” Jason yawned “So what are you doing up here?”

“I am the great Alkza’rah, First Priest of the Holy Wind and last disciple of the Stormgale School.”

“That’s great Alex! But what are you doing here?”

“Arrgh! If I could move from this spot you would be dead already!”

“I’m truly sorry to hear that, unfortunately because all you seem to be able to do is diddly squat. You seem to be at our mercy, so, what are you doing up here?”

Alkza’rah let out a defeated sigh “I climbed up here five decades ago in order to achieve enlightenment in the hopes of understanding the universe, day and night I have been constantly thinking about the workings of our world and the nature of our existence. While constantly nourishing my body with elemental mana, I have been trying to become one with this universe and finding the answers to the questions not yet-”

“And have you done it yet?” Jason interrupted

“Eh?”

“You know, find what you were looking for.”

“Err… No, it’s a continuous thing, what I must strive for every day.” Alkza’rah replied.

“Well it’s a shit deal if you ask me. Tell you what, I’ll give you all the answers if you stroke your beard.”

Alkza’rah stared at Jason like he was mental. Then he suddenly barked out a viscous laughter that rolled out into the air for a good ten seconds before ending just as abruptly. Then he said.

“Fuck off.”

“Aww.” Jason pouted. “Okay, new deal, I give you all the answers in life and then you have to stroke your beard not once, but THREE TIMES!”

“I told you, fuck off.” Alkza’rah replied before closing his eyes.

Jason looked at Death and winked, mouthing the words ‘Watch me’ before bounding over to Alkza’rah and lightly placing his pinky on his forehead.

Alkza’rah’s eyes snapped open, “Wha-” was all he could utter before he lost his balance and fell to the ground, but he didn’t even realize. Alkza’rah simply stared into space, and expression of awe and wander on his face as knowledge of the entire world was crammed into his head while understanding more fundamental and detailed then any book was pressed into his brain. He lied motionless for almost a minute, slightly salivating before he managed to tear his eyes away from the sky and whispered at Jason.

“Who are you?”

Jason put on his best noble expression before continuing, in a deep and commanding voice. “I am not important, now go child, spread your knowledge to those less fortunate.”

Alkza’rah looked at him with a mix of reverence and admiration before crying “Thank you my Lord! I won’t waste this gift you’ve given me!”

And with that Alkza’rah picked himself up, ran to the edge and jumped off the mountain.

Death walked up to the lip of the stone and whistled. “Long drop, did he make it?”

“I’m sure he found some way to fly through the stuff that I gave him.” Jason shrugged.

“What did you give him anyway?” Death asked.

“Fuck knows, but it must be good shit, all I thought was ‘give this man what he wants.’”

“How decent of you.” Death snorted

“What can I say? I’m just a nice guy.” Jason replied amiably.

“So… What now?” Death said looking around.

Two levitating snowboards appeared.

“Race you down the mountain.” Jason shouted before jumping up a board and speeding off.