Before things could escalate any further, X stood up.
“Wait! Don’t shoot! We surrender!” yelled the redheaded elf.
“We what?” yelped the male gnome, surprised by the turn of events.
“You two stay down there!” X whispered as loud as he could. “Let me handle this.”
Barking and growling increased as the torches gathered around them. More shouts echoed through her forest, breaking its silent rest.
“Captain, over here!” yelled a human soldier.
“What is it?” asked the captain.
“A fugitive.”
Without cloth covering his ears, they easily identified his race.
“Mhmm... The redheaded elf we caught back at Farri’s Pass,” said the captain, staring at the languid elf.
A captain, four soldiers, and three witches had gathered. Their three leashed hounds growled, and their fiery mouths spat magic with each bark.
“Don’t make any sudden movements, keep calm, and where we can see you,” commanded the human captain.
X stood with his hands up in the air. “I’ve already told you, we surrender.”
“You and who else?” questioned the captain.
“Hey! What are those glowing things on the ground, and who are those two?” another soldier noticed the small bodies lying on the ground.
“They are a pair of heavily wounded gnomes, and those are simple... er... healing equipment.” X answered, spouting the first thing that came to his mind.
“That equipment doesn’t seem simple or for healing,” the soldier challenged his claims.
The humans had formed a circle around them, moving closer while keeping a close eye on the gnomes on the ground. The gnomes looked at each other, exchanging hand signals and preparing to spring into action, while the humans soldiers gripped their swords, readying themselves to unleash their combat arts. The witches readied their fiery spells, and the hounds’ gnarled teeth inched closer.
“Wait! Wait! You know about the dungeon that’s not too far from here?” X momentarily halted the humans’ advance.
“Dureld?” spoke the captain, his gaze fixed on the two gnomes and the glowing armament.
“Yes! There are rivers of gold down there... and I know how to enter!” said X.
“Aha... After we get a good look at your putrajado friends.... you’ll take us there,” spoke the captain.
“No, wait!” X attempted to buy them some time.
But the small humanoid creatures couldn’t wait any longer.
“Ah, get ready!” shouted the female gnome, standing up.
“Die, humans!” the male gnome followed suit, aiming their weapons at the humans, who readied their spells and swords.
The captain raised his right hand and spoke, “Soldiers, get—!”
Abruptly, a heavy gust of wind crashed into everyone, causing X to fall down on his butt.
“What the hell!” shouted a knight.
“Captain, another non-human!” yelled a witch.
A ruckus erupted under their feet, and a dead air traversed between every living being gathered there, with vines leading the way. “Who’s perturbing my forest’s rest?” She had arrived, she had come. Everyone stood immobile, surprised at her sudden apparition. The fiery hounds cowered behind their masters.
“A dryad...” whispered the captain, his mind lost in thought.
“Captain?” a soldier brought him out of his reverie.
“At ease soldiers. Dryads are neutral...” But there was something off with the one before him. A dense air followed her.
X stood back up. “It’s so funny, he thinks you’re neutral,” said the elf, then raised his voice. “You're late! Aren’t you supposed to be this forest’s guardian? You suck at your job!”
She turned around and faced him. “You had to be here... And I was sleeping, you lanky shit! And fuck you, I'm not at your command!” She strolled around them, vines following close, observing each of the present creatures.
“Whoa! You lazy plant, no wonder you lost your other forest!” retorted X.
She stopped and glared at the redheaded elf.
“This is what you were scared about?” asked the female gnome. “A simple dryad?”
Both gnomes laughed.
The male gnome asked between laughs, “Aren’t dryads at least level two—?”
“Shut up,” X interrupted the gnome. “I’m talking here, and dryad, what are you waiting for?” he wanted carnage.
“Your orders, captain?” asked a knight.
The captain, a veteran of the Rising Wars, had developed a sense for detecting bad blood and dangerous characters. “Don’t do anything rash... keep composed,” he ordered, realizing that he needed more information before taking aggressive actions. He raised his hand, signaling his squad to remain in place.
“You brought them here,” the dryad spoke to X.
“The gnomes? You know how it goes for these... half-conscious, half-instinctual minds,” spoke X.
“Pure power and bravery!” yelled the male gnome.
“Gnome eternal!” added his female partner, cheering.
“See what I’m dealing with,” said the redheaded elf.
“I meant everyone,” the dryad’s monotonous tone offered no respite.
“Er, no, the humans invited themselves,” X nerves treaded a slippery edge. He had two be triple cautious with the dryad as anything could set her off on anyone. The elf just needed her craziness go off on the right creatures.
“Why’s everyone suddenly stopping? The party was just starting! And we were about to blow this whole forest to high heaven!” the male gnome teased the humans.
Blood rushed through the dryad’s green outgrowth. Her vines jittered behind her.
X’s heart raced. “It’s a figure of speech, dryad—”
“Kaboom!” The female gnome raised her arms, imitating an explosion.
“Don’t take them seriously, and... Aha! That reminds me!” exclaimed X. “Those pesky humans and their foulness threaten this beautiful, innocent forest. Those humans you hate so much—”
“Dryad,” the captain interrupted him, “one of nature’s foremost daughters, why are you here? It’s uncommon for dryads to be seen, let alone engage with anyone or anything else.”
“Guarding my forest... like any other dryad should,” she answered.
“The Human United Front is in alliance with the dryads of the Pentacoast,” the captain continued, “we bear their blessings and share those lands’ fruits. While we are not at the Pentacoast where the queen dryad herself blessed our alliance, we do expect a modicum of propriety and leeway from you.”
X laughed at the captain’s words, who glared back in disgust at the weak elf.
The captain received no response from the dryad. ‘Is her mind here?’ he thought about her attitude. Her uninterested demeanor bothered him. Another thing keeping him on his toes was the relationship between the dryad and the elf; they seemed to know each other, and the dryad might object to his squad taking them prisoner. But even if she did, with their numbers, they’d manage to contain the dryad, and if she didn’t cooperate, they’d kill her. The problem lay in their alliance with the Pentacoast dryads—killing one of their kind wouldn’t be welcomed.
“Hmmm....” The dryad studied the sentient creatures before her as one would observe animals in a zoo.
‘Yet again, that alliance lays half a continent across’,’the captain reasoned they could proceed. “Well then, we’ll get those putrajados and be on our way. You can return to your rest, we’ll take it from here,” said the captains as he approached the putrajados in sight, his soldiers following behind him.
X couldn’t let this opportunity pass. “Hey, dryad, look!” He pointed at the captain’s plated boot crushing the grass. “Humans are quashing your grass— Hey! Do your thing!” X turned towards the humans. “Take another step and she will kill you, mutilate you, cut you open, spill your guts, and smile while she does it!”
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Everyone halted again.
“No, I won’t,” said the dryad.
“Oh... Luring them in, your bad, baby,” X egged her on.
Every being held their ground, eyeing one another with raised weapons—humans and gnomes alike.
“Haha! Look at those fuckers!” The male gnome took advantage of the situation to ridicule them.
“Ya’ll never seen a dryad before? I think being crumpled in your stinking cities, trampling each other, has made you fear your own shadows!” the female gnome teased the human squad, delight drawn on her small face.
The captain understood what had bothered him—the dryad looked monstrous, too different from those back in the Pentacoast. He began to doubt she was truly one.
“Kill them! Come on!” X prodded the dryad on, this was their chance.
The humans tensed at those words. The captain kept his right hand up, restraining his squad.
“Why?” asked the dryad, her eyes fixated on the elf.
“Because you are a freaking psycho, crazy overgrown talking plant!” replied X.
“I respect life, and they haven’t done anything against my forest,” her serious tone pierced the elf’s confidence.
“You what?!” The redheaded elf cracked up, half amused, half desperate. “Respect life?” Between incongruent laughs, he pointed at her. “You’re insane.”
[And you’re worst for trusting in her insanity.]
The mirage walked amongst them.
Humans watched her closely. A dryad was not a trivial creature. If she was really on the putrajado’s side, then bad luck for her—they’d finish her.
“I prefer not to kill,” stated the dryad.
“Uh... good for you... you’re only half insane. All of a sudden...” The dryad didn’t budge, and X ran out of aces.
For the humans, that was the answer to their questions. She was a dryad, after all, and they all acted the same in the end. The putrajados would fall in line; every creature would eventually bend to the will of the HUF.
Dryads seldom entangled themselves in the affairs of intelligent beings, living far off from everything like hermits, leading nature from afar. This dryad must have her reasons to be there, but it had nothing to do with theirs. Besides, they could contain her if needed. While powerful, dryads weren’t known for their fighting prowess nor were they known for engaging in any epic battle whatsoever. No bard ever sung their praises in combat.
“Listen, guys, there has been a misunderstanding. Everyone can go back home, we’ll pick our things, and be on our way. Come on, you two.” X smiled, but his small companions wanted to give the humans one last cursed goodbye.
“These weak asses, can you believe it!?” the female sneered at the squad, followed by her male partner. “Fucking humans, suck me! If you want us this bad, then your so-called gods screwed you over! We’ve got less boring things to do.”
“Stop! You’re not going anywhere!” ordered the captain.
Tension spiked, weapons ready.
“And who’s going to stop up us!?” yelled the male gnome.
“You both don’t do shit— Aarghh!” X’s curse acted up. “S-stay put!” he managed to say, gritting his teeth.
“These gnomes know how to fight!” The male gnome showed off his Skull Ripper.
“Don’t use that!” With his head between his knees and recovering from the demon-god’s curse, X’s eyes darted from the gnomes to the humans to the dryad. The dryad being was the most pressing issue of them all.
“Capture them!” commanded the captain.
Two knights dashed at the gnomes.
“Take this, suckers!” shouted the male gnome, pointing his Skull Ripper towards the incoming knights while chanting incantations.
“Stop! You little—” X jumped towards the gnome, swerving the shot. “What the fuck” The little one’s surprised face twisted into horror. The knights shielded up, but the veered shot cracked the knight’s helmet, barely saving his life. The knight fell, bleeding, into a stupor and out of commission. The magic shot continued into the skies, exploding safely midair.
“Damn it! These little shits carry power! Kill them!” the captain turned to the witches, “Witches! Fire!” he commanded. After that show of defiance, it was too much of a risk to capture them alive. Two witches began chanting their spells and fired them in succession.
“Shit!” exclaimed the female gnome, narrowly avoiding a lightning discharge that kept advancing towards her. She ran sideways while a fireball flew towards X. The male gnome jumped at the last moment over the elf, pulling him down, barely escaping with their lives.
In that instant, an irreconcilable emotion coursed through the dryad’s being. A deepened difference grew larger, setting beings apart like a vast ocean. She felt rage rising, a tensed riot brewed behind her. A portion of her forest had been blown away in a flash.
A third witch began chanting a paralyzing thorns spell, but shouts and blood interrupted her. Two screams tore through the forest’s calm, racing to outdo each other—one filled with pain, the other full of anger.
“Arghhhh!” Her vines minced the witch that had burned her forest, immediately turning to the one that had released lightning over her trees, plants, and flowers.
“What the hell!” shouted a knight.
“Dryad’s hostile! Attack!” ordered the captain.
The squad turned to face her.
From the ground, vines attacked the witch, inserting themselves between her legs, causing the female human to burst open from her insides in an amazing explosion of flesh, guts, shit and piss.
“Holy shit!” exclaimed the female gnome in awe.
“See that, mate! It’s raining food!” The male gnome smiled.
X stared at his companion with pure disgust.
Recognizing her fury and position as nature’s protector, the hounds ran off. The human squad, however, was already three members down as they organized to face the dryad. The gnomes positioned themselves to attack the humans, but X interrupted their visions of glory.
“No, you idiots! Don’t use anything that explodes!” shouted the redheaded elf.
“Eh? Why, elf?” questioned the male gnome.
“Haven’t you been paying attention!?” yelled X.
A human knight broke off from the main group and came their way.
“Hey, you two assholes, what about the knight that’s coming our way!?” Both assholes turned around at the female gnome’s words.
“Damn it! Prepare to blow him to kingdom come!” exclaimed the male gnome.
“On it!” seconded his female partner.
“No! Not the burning dusts! And don’t shoot him! Don’t use anything that explodes!” yelled X, but it seemed his words crashed against stone.
The male gnome pointed at his Skull Ripper
“No! Not that! Use your fists!” X raised his voice.
“With our fists!?” asked the male gnome.
“Yes!”
“You want us to beat that heavy-armored soldier with our bare hands?” inquired the female gnome, shock in her voice.
“Yes!”
“You're fucking bananas. Shit! I love it!” said the male gnome, grinning. “Let’s go!” he said to his partner.
“Watch where you step!” shouted X.
They had engaged the knight, bare-fisted, each gnome on one side.
“Why?!” the female gnome questioned the elf’s preoccupation.
“I can’t guarantee she won’t lump you with the humans. Do you want her to mince you!?” replied the redheaded elf.
At some point, the little ones’ fight looked comical, like some rats pestering an elephant while X shouted warnings of flowers and whatever frail herbage he saw. Surprisingly, the gnomes kept their composure and skillfully evaded the knight’s blows.
“Slippery little shits!” The knight became enraged.
However, their attacks seemed to have no effect on the knight. The fight could no longer continue like this. Both gnomes exchanged glances and then each took out small metal bearings, lodging them between the knight’s armor joints. Stepping back, they quickly chanted magical words, causing the bearings to explode. Blood dripped from every nook and cranny. Roasted human smoke escaped as well, melted and burned, just like the gnomes liked their meat.
In this moment, X realized their true nature: a pest, but of biblical proportions. Diseased, plague-bearing rats.
The dryad’s fight was even more one-sided. The humans had underestimated her capabilities, and she held the advantage of the terrain, with all nature playing alongside her. She appeared and disappeared with her vines, using reinforced and enchanted bark for protection. Her vines did most of the work, and not even their strongest combat arts shielded the knights from their bladed, pointy ends. The humans were outmatched and outclassed in power, savagery, and dementia.
She got personal with their captain, her nails piercing his groin area, and then she lifted her hand, slashing armor and flesh alike. He fell with a thump, dead along with his whole squad.
The gnomes sat down, taking a moment to rest as they admired how she masterfully slashed the captain and minced everyone else. Both were in awe and had little to say, only to contemplate.
“Fucking shit!” exclaimed the male gnome.
“Are you sure she’s a dryad?” the female gnome asked X.
The dryad stood still, looking down at her work, and then slowly turned around, her vines following her. With her nails out, she approached the trio.
Sensing danger, the gnomes rose to their feet.
“Hey! You freaky creature, we haven’t done anything to your forest!” yelled X.
The redheaded elf looked at the gnomes stepping on grass. “You’re asphyxiating her freaking cousin. Step off the grass and come into the ground!”
Both did as commanded.
“It’s not my cousin!” the dryad’s dry voice cut the awkward silence.
“Uncle, whatever. The point is we were not the ones who burned your forest!” X said to her.
“You brought them here.” With her sight fixed on the redheaded elf and what lay behind him, she opened her arms, and vined rose to the occasion.
X turned back and noticed the burnt patch of forest. “No, no, my dryad, don’t go to that place! Were we the ones who burned your forest? Answer me that! Can we read minds to know what they’d do? Could we gnomes?”
“The elf here is right, Lady Dryad! We’re simple folk!” added the male gnome quickly.
“These shitheads chased us for being superior! It’s not our fault their long-foretold subservient destiny makes them sub-standard up here!” said the female gnome while pointing to her own head.
“I warned them! You saw it!” yelled X. “Words came out of my mouth! Dryad, we tried to protect your forest, I told them. Even the gnomes here were careful not to damage a single weed. You were there for Christ’s sake!”
“We’re sorry, dryad, for any inconvenience caused to your forest. We, superior beings, need to understand each other. Respect.” The female gnome bowed her head.
“Someone speaks sense amongst you.” The dryad’s vines began to lower down.
“Indeed, dryad of this forest. Your forest. Please allow us to pass, unscathed... we promise to be even more careful in the future.” The male gnome joined her partners’ plea.
The dryad stared at X. “You should listen to the dwarves here and learn some manners.”
“Gnomes!” the male gnome chimed in.
“What?” The dryad’s deep, imposing tone echoed through her forest.
“We are gnomes...” he ended murmuring to the wind.
“You’re all midgets in the end, who the fuck cares.” The dryad relaxed and strolled towards X. “Do be more careful in the future.” And disappeared into the foliage behind them.