In high school, I have quickly become known as a "Pacifier".
After honing my skills for a couple of years, stopping fights has become much easier.
A part of me believed that if I keep pursuing this path, it'll eventually lead to Lia.
It was a childish hope, I realized that much when I matured a bit.
Lia was beyond my reach. I had no choice but to be satisfied with that fat rebellious cat I bought.
Conflicts never ceased to exist, no matter how many I stopped. It's because unrooting the cause is impossible.
Interactions between humans will keep breeding conflicts, there's no avoiding that reality.
Conflict was a necessary part of life, that's what I concluded.
Just as I wanted Lia to be there to oppose me, everybody must be craving for some sort of conflict deep inside them.
A life without conflict or struggle is a life without meaning.
I lived that way before Lia came.
No... before she came, I merely "existed".
Calling myself "King" or other such pretentious titles, I didn't even realize the truth.
The only one who was a broken lifeless toy... was me.
For humans, interactions cause conflicts. But for someone like me... what was there?
My life became tasteless again following all these realizations.
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Lia wasn't there to oppose me. My cat's rebellion was not impactful. Helping people became easy, unrewarding... pointless.
What was there for me then? Where was my conflict?
There couldn't possibly be one.
Humans create conflicts together with other humans.
But I was no human.
Unlike my childish self, I didn't consider myself superior to humans.
I was just different. An odd creature, as if born into the wrong world.
A creature like me can't possibly find joy in the reality of humans. That was my conclusion.
"You are a normal human..."
As I stood in front of a mirror, I stared at my reflected self.
"You are a human... A human... A human!"
I chanted these words over and over as if casting a spell upon myself.
I could convince humans of anything.
To smile. To cry. To love. To hate.
My words had that kind of power.
"You are just a human. You have no powers. You are a human. A human...!"
I chanted, hoping to convince the person reflected in front of me.
"I'm a human. A human!!!"
Tears started flowing from my eyes.
Silence.
Not a single word followed afterward.
I... could no longer speak.
It must have been the only solution available in my head.
"If you want to be normal, then just seal your lips."
That thought has crossed my mind many times.
"..."
Even if I tired, voice refused to come out of my mouth. It was a curse that couldn’t be undone.
Just like that, I reduced myself to what I once called "puppet".
However, the puppeteer was now dead, leaving behind a world filled only with puppets.
With nobody to bind the wills of the puppets... were they still just puppets?
No... they could only be called puppets as long as the puppeteer was a part of their reality.
Without a creature to control their actions, surely these puppets were... humans.
"Come here, Lia."
I called Lia in my head and waved my hand back and forth.
After staring at me with her small eyes for a few seconds, the rebellious Lia jumped from the sofa and walked toward me.
As I petted her head, I... smiled.