"Huh…?"

I was puzzled.

'I have to leave.'

Her words still loudly echo in my head.

Two months have passed since I met her.

Her wound has fully recovered by now.

Actually, it recovered at least a month ago.

Yet, she stayed with me in that phantom house.

For me, during this period, she was a strange mix of sister, mother, teacher and… lover. Even if that kind of love was very likely one-sided.

"Why? Why now? Why so suddenly? Why?"

So stupid on my part. Asking countless questions without giving the window to answer any. I couldn't properly control my emotions.

'Don't go!'

'Don't go!'

'Don't go!'

In the blur that was my conscious, only this short sentence was echoing loudly. Thinking of anything else was a grand challenge.

"The likes of me can't live in harmony with humans."

She was trying to make her voice firm and to convey confidence.

But I knew her nature all too well by now.

Deep inside, she must have been trembling.

"That's just running away. You can't know for sure unless you try."

An instant answer.

I didn't need to think much.

Rather, I hardly could think at all in that state.

I was ready to deflect whatever she had to say with the first claim to surface in my head.

"It's pointless. History shows us that never before such a relationship succeeded."

"History is nothing more than a collection of famous events retold in a manner convenient to the mass! It's far from being a term to rely on!"

I was practically shouting.

It seems to be an instinctual belief that 'louder' equals 'more likely to convince'. Common conceptions… How convenient it becomes to rely on those in times of need… A hypocrite weakling, both back then and right now…

"You were disgusted, weren't you?"

She averted her eyes toward the floor, avoiding confirmation of my reaction.

"I…"

Unlike before, here I had to halt. Replying to this wasn't as trivial of a matter as the previously presented arguments.

I see now. Rather, I pretty much guessed it the moment she decided to leave.

Yesterday, for the first time, I witnessed… a soul being devoured.

She attacked a person, killed him, extracted his soul and consumed it.

I was a witness only to the last part, yet visual sights of the others were composed in my head upon seeing the scene.

Like an idiot, back then, I froze.

I was just standing in a daze, watching her feasting on the source of life.

I was trembling. I was disgusted. I was about to vomit.

Being able to see the soul, as well as to comprehend its nature to a large extent – were all skills playing in favor of my defeat.

Compared to this, the art of killing looked like such an innocent act.

I think that, while watching the act, my own soul was throwing a fit.

I thought I accepted… No. I definitely did accept the fact she is a soul consumer.

But…

Somehow…

Seeing her in act…

Filled me…

With fear.

I just walked- I ran away.

I didn't say a word, nor did I turn back.

I could dimly hear her voice calling my name.

The voice which so often made me feel overjoyed sounded like the whispers of the reaper.

That day, I avoided unnecessary interactions with her.

How idiotic.

I'd punch myself if it were to help.

Immature.

Why did I run? Was my resolve that weak? Was my love that weak?

Why couldn't I overcome the fear for her sake!?

I must have hurt her.

Was I yet again deceiving myself?

Was I merely painting a picture free of ugliness to satisfy myself?

Was my attraction to her falsely beautified when it was no more than lust!?

No.

Not this time.

Call me naïve. Call me inexperienced. Call me immature.

But I want to believe.

I want to believe that humans are capable of expressing more complex feelings than those born out of primitive instincts.

"I'm sorry."

Apologize.

This is all I could do.

I was at fault. I shouldn't have reacted that way.

And even when I did, I should have apologized earlier.

I should have admitted my error without being threatened with punishment.

"It's not your fault, Edward."

This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.

She just dismissed it as an undesired one.

I think it's because I was too late.

If only I were to say that earlier, perhaps…

"It's natural for humans, especially Mages, to be paralyzed with disgust and fear. Even more so at such a young age and at the very first time."

She was still avoiding eye contact

I want to see.

I want to see it.

What expression does she wear right now, at the moment she says farewell?

"But it's okay. I should have known better. Known that a human and a soul consumer can't possibly coexist in such a relationship for long. We are a predator and a prey. What future could be possibly born from that?"

I was shattered to pieces upon hearing this.

She didn't trust me to accept her nature.

I failed to prove my worth and resolution.

"T-That's just common conception! You don't have to enforce the common track of thought upon yourself!"

To be frank – I was angry.

For their selfish convenience, humans make up rules which decide what is right and what is wrong. After being constantly fed with those ideals for a prolonged period of time, one becomes chained by these concepts.

I loathe it. Now more than ever before.

"That's aged. You always attempt to brand something as foolish or incorrect by throwing around the term 'common conception'. It is time you realized that not every argument can be won by using convenient terms alone."

Her voice was harsh. It was her, as my teacher, expressing disappointment.

She taught me many things about the world.

Common conception… was one of them.

Out of the many things I was taught, this term stuck the most in my brain.

'If the child loves its parents, they ought to return that love. Such is the natural mutual relationship born between those bound by the bonds of blood.'

This term made me understand much of my own foolishness.

That I was assumptive human, and how it was convenient to be one.

Also, how wrong it is.

For a child isolated from the outside world, this was a grand eye-opening revelation.

So much that I seem to have, subconsciously, treated it as the 'answer to everything'. I abused the term which corrected my flaw, only to replace said flaw with the abusing.

So… childish.

"It's a goodbye, Edward…"

She finally raised her head to face me.

She even turned her whole body in my direction.

A sad expression. Or was it that of a disappointment?

I was hardly thinking straight, but my guess was: Both.

"I'll prove you that it can succeed. Just give me the chance! I'll show you that humans and soul consumers can overcome any boundary separating them and live together!"

Without even noticing, I was stepping forward.

This was only proof of how little I acted on logic, and how much on pure emotions.

"I hope you will."

I was less than a meter away.

I could reach her at any moment.

Then why? Why!?

Why did her sad smile made me feel as if we're separated by thousands of miles!?

"In this pitch-black world, you were the first light-filled candle I have come across. So pure, so honest. Truly, a nonexistent one-of-a-kind jewel."

Her hand slowly went over my face

She sincerely meant every word

Such exaggeration…

"That's not true! I'm a pretentious hypocrite! A lust filled man! There's nothing neither pure nor honest about me! There's just none…"

My eyes were getting teary.

I will not cry.

'Real men don't cry.'

Who made up this dumb cliché?

Tell me, who's the bastard that forces me to hold all this unbearable pain deep inside? Why must I bear it in order to prove my worth as a man!?

Just… why…?

"You're too harsh on yourself."

She drew closer.

I couldn't even-

"But that's an adorable side of yours."

She pressed her lips against mine.

A kiss.

It came out of nowhere and caught me off guard.

For the first time, I received a proof.

A proof that our feelings were truly mutual.

I felt a liquid flowing down my chin.

Were those my tears? Or…?

"Hu…h?"

My body was going numb.

My legs were trembling, threatening to give in under my weight.

I leaned on her body while seeking support.

Though normally touching her body would make me feel hot inside – nothing.

My senses refused to function.

It was a paralyzing kiss. She injected Magica into me.

This external force was slowly shutting down the systems of my body

"Don't… go… I… love... you…"

I'm uncertain how many of the words I desperately tried to convey actually reached her. I fainted…

…

…………………….

…………………………………………

"…!"

I awoke frightened, as if from a nightmare.

I looked around.

Void.

She has left.

Instinctually, my left hand went over my chest.

Tear.

The awe-striking butterfly seems to have flown far far away and faded…

Our connection – Was severed