The scouting party gathers in front of the odd door, Tassa and Grizza standing in front. As they look at the door, so does the door look back at them. "Greetings, brave souls! If you wish to proceed, you must solve my riddle!"
Grizza sighs. "Well, that's not a great sign." Tassa raises an eyebrow in his direction.
"Not good with riddles?"
"No, it's just that Riddle Locks are a sapient construct. Which means this dungeon's already killed at least one person." He pauses, and looks at the designs on the doorframe. "...Weird style choices. Rabbits and seashells? Not only do they not really go together, but the ocean's nowhere near here! Or even a big lake, really."
Doorman repeats himself. "...If you wish to proceed, you must solve my riddle!"
Laksha, the Fighter, snaps at him a bit. "Shut it, door. Gods, sapient constructs creep me the fuck out. Imagine dying in one of these places and becoming fucking furniture."
Doorman's handsome, if somewhat chipped face frowns. "That's rude. I take pride in my work."
Tassa gives a sigh of her own. "Don't antagonize the dungeon furniture, Laksha." She runs a hand along her holstered axes. "Not a lot in the way of specialized dungeon gear here. Anyone have any prep they need to do?" Grizza merely gestures at his vest and satchel, the rare case of him wearing actual clothing due to the need for pockets to contain his utility equipment. The Cleric Pusht raises a hand.
"I can offer us the Blessing of the Bountiful Catch. It's the equivalent of an Expert-tier luck enchantment, which lasts for an hour." Laksha whistles at that.
"Expert-tier!? Damn, you could beat a one-floor dungeon naked and skipping the whole way with luck like that. I take back everything bad I ever said about the Fish God." Pusht gives the Fighter a look, and she sheepishly backpeddles. "...Not that I've ever said anything bad about the mighty Lord of All Fish, of course."
Not entirely convinced, the Cleric invokes his blessing nevertheless, and a moment later the group is feeling quite a bit luckier...and slightly smelling of fish, though none of them bring it up. Tassa takes a step forward, and properly addresses the door. "Alright, door, give us the riddle."
Doorman clears his throat. "A-hum! What is...a tree?" The drider Mage groans.
"Oh no, this is one of those philosophical ones, isn't it? Alright...a tree is...life, ever enduring, ever reaching, ambition and stability combined, a shelter to all those around them?"
The door raises a wooden eyebrow. "Not even close." Without further warning, the face spits in Grizza's direction.
"Gah! Did you just...spit a splinter at me? That actually hurt!" The Mage looks around at the group, somewhat sheepishly. "...I mean, not that much. But still!"
Doorman looks a bit sheepish as well. "I'm still low level, okay? Come back next month and I'll really do you in."
Finally breaking his silence, Ragrush steps forward. "A tree's a big plant made of wood and covered in leaves. Squirrels live in em." Doorman nods.
"Now there's a man who knows a thing or two. Good luck inside!" With that the door swings open, as the rest of the party stares at Ragrush.
"...What? It's a door made out of a man who died in a dungeon a couple days old, what did you expect? ...Whatever, let's head on in."
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Inside, Xenia bites her virtual thumbnail. "Aw, dammit, we're still not ready for more! We haven't even finished a whole floor yet!" As the quintet step into the entry area one by one, she runs an examining eye over each of them. "Orcs, huh? A minotaur...and - ohshit is that a spider dude!? Fuck...and why the fuck is the spider dude so cute!? That's gotta be illegal or something."
Guy hovers nearby. "I won't comment on that last bit, but we really better hope they're happy with the handful of coins we tossed into your 'wishing shell'. They all have at least a few levels on them, and honestly I doubt we could take down a group of five in even the best case. But if you are looted or shattered, allow me to say that it has been an honor to serve with you, ma'am."
Xenia bites down a little harder. "Shush, you. Start thinking positive thoughts, okay? Maybe they'll be nice adventurers!"
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Ragrush eyes the mutated bird waiting above. "So just to confirm, we're smashing this core, right?" Grizza nods.
"Unless there's something obviously valuable about it. I don't have the skills to analyze a dungeon core, and I'm not taking something that's 'wrong' back to the Mana Weavers."
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"Right, just checking." The orc Ranger lifts his crossbow and plucks a mutant hawk out of the air as he steps into the room. "Watch yourself, there's pressure plates around." The rest of the group follows, weapons at the ready as the remainder of the flock leave their roosts and begin to divebomb the group. Ragrush and Grizza are the only members of the team with much ranged capacity, as Tassa would rather not waste any of her throwing axes on such low-threat creatures, but she and Laksha do an excellent job of slicing away any who come too close, while Pusht keeps a healing spell at the ready.
Unfortunately, the need for one comes much earlier than any of them might have expected. A barkbird shot out of the air by Ragrush manages to hit Laksha in the back as she's looking in the other direction, causing the Fighter to stumble forward...somehow triggering three different pressure plates on the way. One dart bounces uselessly off of a stronger portion of Grizza's exoskeleton, while Tassa is able to bat another out of the air. Pusht, however, takes a solid hit to the left shoulder. Once the remaining birds have been eliminated, Tassa turns to Lakhsa with a growl. "The hells was that!? Did you try to step on every plate on your way through the room!?" Laksha herself has an angry look, but it seems to be aimed at herself.
"I don't know what happened! It was like...I saw the plates were there, and I told my feet not to step on them, and then they did anyways! That's never happened to me before!"
Ragrush tightens his grip on his crossbow. "I'd like to say it was just you being an idiot, but we have to assume there's no coincidences in a dungeon. There could be perception or spatial distortions in here." Grizza scoffs.
"In a one floor dungeon? I can definitely feel it now, this dungeon is new. Where would it even get those kinds of spells this early?"
Tassa considers the options. "What if the Dragonlord was feeding the dungeon somehow? Making it more powerful than people would expect, so it gets easy kills? That could make it 'wrong', perhaps? ...I don't know. But just...stay cautious."
Ragrush takes the lead as the group moves into the hallway to the next room, while Laksha watches over Pusht as he uses his prepared healing spell on his own shoulder. The Ranger doesn't get far, though. "Obvious pressure plate ahead, and look at that long slit open on the wall ahead of it. Probably some sort of swinging blade trap or the like." Tassa looks down the hallway and nods.
"We could hop over it, but given what just happened, maybe we should activate it prematurely instead?"
"Agreed." The pair duck down, just to be safe, as Ragrush prods the plate with his crossbow. With a loud clanking noise, a heavy, giant disk of raw metal and serrated edges pushes its way out of the wall, spinning up to a high speed and moving in their direction - fortunately, they're positioned past where the blade has room to move. Ragrush turns back to look at his fellow Ranger. "A spinning blade, huh? New to me. Guess we can wait for it to - "
Before he can finish his sentence, there's a loud cracking sound. The blade shifts, as if its support within the wall had given out, and when the blade hits the edge of the gap the low-quality metal shatters. Tassa quickly turns away to shield her face from shrapnel, but when she turns back she sees there were far worse things than metal splinters. Ragrush's eyes look at her, but Ragrush himself is already gone, a two foot long piece of jagged metal extending from the back of his skull. The minotaur screams.
"RAGRUSH! NO! CLERIC! GET THE GODSDAMN CLERIC UP HERE!" Pusht and Grizza both move forward to take a look, ignoring their own shrapnel cuts, but the Cleric's face quickly falls.
"Ranger...Tassa, I'm sorry, but...this is far beyond the talents of a Cleric. A blow to the head like this..." Tassa responds only with another scream.
"NO! Not like this! We can't - " She cradles the body for a moment, but only a moment, before pulling back with a changed expression on her face. "We can't let the dungeon have him. We have to shatter it NOW!" Grabbing again at her axes, the woman picks herself up to her feet and begins to sprint into the next room, ignoring Grizza and Pusht as they grab at her. The drider Mage does his best to play the voice of reason, unheard as he might be.
"TASSA! Slow down, damn it! You're just going to run right into something else!" Unfortunately it seems the man is also playing the role of unheeded prophet, as the raging minotaur only gets three steps into the next room before her hoof gives out on the unexpectedly slippery metal floor. Grizza and Pusht grab at her as she grabs back, but her momentum and bulky frame only serve to drag them with her, Grizza's slender legs finding little purchase with which to anchor his own large form. As the trio land in the center of the room, the Mage recognizes the noises of multiple pressure plates being set off at once, a look to the ceiling quickly identifying the threat. "Falling rocks! Cover!"
With no time to find their feet, the three can only roll and dodge as hundreds of pounds of stone collapse around them. By some grace they all manage to survive unharmed, and with no other apparent threats in the room, Grizza tries again to calm Tassa. "...Tassa. I understand, but look! We almost just..." His voice trails off as he begins to hear a cracking noise coming from around them. Too late, he realizes it's coming from beneath. "...The floor! We have to - "
With one sudden crash the floor gives way, and the three scouts fall into darkness.
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Laksha isn't sure how long she stands there, half-collapsed in the doorway to the second chamber. A minute? An hour? She's sure she's shouted each of their names a dozen times at least, but no voice returns from the dark pit that opened in the middle of the chamber. There's no sound at all, beyond the trickle of the water as it forms a new waterfall down to the unknown. Eventually though, she finds the strength to return her feet and give one final shout. "Cursed! This dungeon is cursed! ...I have...I have to report..." As the Fighter turns and makes her way from the dungeon, no other noise joins her footsteps. Even the Doorman says nothing as she returns to the mountain outside.
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Left standing in the hallway where Ragrush's body is dissolving, there of course remains Xenia. Her 'successfully failed' sawblade trap repairs itself and slides back inside the wall, and even the surprise entrance to the deep cavern below heals itself like a scar, soon covered by a fresh layer of regenerating water. Seeing their mistress in an unusually quiet mood, Guy takes it upon themselves to break the silence.
"Well, all things considered, that could have gone far worse! Ah, and it looks like the Intrusion report is finished tabulating! Let's take - " The floating screen finds itself shushed by a waving hand.
"Shut it, Guy."
"...I'm sorry?"
Xenia sighs, making her way back to her core chamber. "Just...we'll look over it later, okay? Not right now."
"...Understood, ma'am."