While Xenia was returning to something more traditionally horizontal for her Floor Three layout, she was also trying a different approach as well. Her current goal was to set up four basic chambers in a square pattern, but each down a short flight of stairs from the previous. This would hopefully get the end of the floor to line up more or less with the empty hallway she'd discovered before, at which point she could consider attempting to 'subdue' the abandoned dungeon, whatever that was about. Unlike with her first floor though, she didn't want to work on things one room at a time, creating a patchwork design and possibly having Challengers wandering through half-completed areas. No, this time the floor would be entirely blocked off behind a hidden door in her core chamber until it was completed. If nothing else, it would help hide the true threat level of the dungeon a bit longer, until one day someone came down and discovered an entirely new floor waiting for them.

Of course, as soon as she'd started on opening the new construction area, a floor achievement had been waiting for her.

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FLOOR 3 CREATED

ADDING NEW BASE 'CAVE' MATERIALS:

DECORATIVE/CONSTRUCTION STONE (MEDIUM QUALITY)

HEALING POOLS AND FOUNTAINS (LOW QUALITY)

AMBIENT UNDERGROUND NOISES (LOW QUALITY)

NEW BASE 'CAVE' CONSTRUCT PATTERN QUALITIES ACQUIRED:

RODENTS: F

ARACHNIDS: D-

MANA CAP INCREASED BY 6 TO 80

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With Guy and Lollyp in tow, Xenia leads a tour through the partially-blocked out floor. "Alright, so! General floor theme is gonna be slime time! They're still our highest ranked monster type, so my plan is to mix 'em up with everything we've got and see how many varieties we can come up with. I've already got rabbit-slimes for the first room, and I've got some skeletal slimes cooking right now, I hope."

Lollyp chuckles. "Since you got slimes from me, does that make them my grandkids now? ...Scratch that, I don't wanna have any claim on whatever bizarre shit you're putting together. Although I do feel a little weird now about not being the boss of the slime level."

"Well, we can always swap you out later...not sure yet what our third boss is gonna be, not that far yet. But anyways, the first room! The whole floor is going to be on a general downward incline, but this room is going to be the steepest. Gonna be like the Slip'N'Slide room but cranked to eleven, so I guess we can claim that room is the Challenger training room for it, if anyone asks. The whole room is gonna be a grid of squares, each row going down level by level like a giant set'a stairs until you get to the other side. But! The squares don't stay still!" As a demonstration, she hops onto a stone square about seven feet wide on a side, at which point it tilts sideways and dumps her down to a lower level, an eight foot drop that could be bad if her virtual avatar actually obeyed the laws of physics. "Some of em will toss you around like that if they lose balance, some will move up and down at random times, which means if you want to get to the proper stairwells at the end of each row yer path is going to change or get blocked if you're too slow about it. And if you just hop down from level to level, you'll find that the easiest jumps are all trap triggers."

Guy gives a hum of approval. "And you said this will be like the waterslide chamber? Are we adding water here as well?"

Xenia grins. "Nope, cause we've got better! That last achievement gave us polished stone, and more importantly, we've got 'Slime Fabric' now! Which was definitely not intended as a form of carpet, cause that shit is really low friction if you stretch it out. Plus it doesn't cost mana to keep flowing, though the moving platforms are gonna drain some of that anyhow. And for the coup-de-grace..." She hops down to a lower level, where the previous row is now her wall on one side. Batting the fabric-coated stone, she reveals that there's a slit in the fabric leading to a hidden space inside. Reaching in, she pulls out a pink slime blob...with slime bunny ears. "Meet the Hippity Blobbity! Like the skeleton archers are better than dumb dart traps, these boys will be their own kind of trap. When someone walks by they'll launch themselves outwards, knocking people off the current level. After which they've got the good ol' acidy juices to play around with, and enough hopping distance to land on someone's face from the floor."

Lollyp seems impressed. "That's...actually not a bad improvement. One of the main weaknesses of slime monsters is their slow speed, so if these can hop around that well, it'll definitely take people by surprise."

Hopping down from level to level, a relatively safe endeavor for those who live in the dungeon, the tour group quickly makes their way to the second room. "This next room I was able to cook up pretty quickly because the monsters are still low-tier - I was able to put together some Slime Spiders. The spiders themselves look normal, if a bit uh...candy-colored, but check it out." Opening the door, a narrow stone hallway is revealed, with the way partially blocked off by a series of brightly colored spiderwebs. "They weave slime! Isn't that cool?"

Lollyp whistles, or attempts to, as it comes out as more of a 'blrph-blrph-blrph' sound from her fluid lips. "Okay, how have I not seen this one before? Everybody's got spiders, and everybody down south's got slimes! I guess the normal slime tiers have enough variety types in them that most dungeons don't bother trying the crossbreed options on em? If we get mail access I need to write a few letters."

Xenia pushes a hand through a web, which gives some resistance but does eventually fall apart. "Sadly, like I said, it's still pretty low tier. So the plan for now is to not dump anything on em for a few hallways except for a whole lotta webs they gotta push through. Then once they and their weapons are all sticky and slimy, start triggering spider ambushes when they hit the webs. They'll hit em with even more sticky slime, and then finally...well, I'd like to put some giant slime spiders at the end of the labyrinth, but we ain't got any yet, so uh...for the time being I'm just putting in a bunch'a orc skeletons to stab em to death. But a theme is planned!"

Guy nods. "In the end, it is the result that matters most. From there?" The group makes its way down a flight of stairs into a very unimpressive empty square cavern.

"Well, I'm still working on the back half, alright? I'm thinking this will be the Undead Slime room, but I still wanna see how they turn out. I'm aiming for like, skeletal slimes like I said, something bigger than a normal slime that can still move around pretty well, cause they'd have a skeleton and all, right? Then we can take advantage of slimes being mostly invulnerable to your usual pointy sticks and all that. Fourth room, I'm thinking we finally make use of those barriers and magic traps we unlocked a while back. It looks like running a lot of magic stuff at once would be expensive, but I think we can work around it by making it kind of a puzzle room. We'll have some Hippity Blobbities hopping around from trap trigger to trap trigger, turning barriers on and off, setting off flamethrowers and zappers and that sort of thing, and adventurers can try and kill the slimes to make em stop."

Lollyp sighs. "Are you really going to keep calling them Hippity Blobbities?"

The dungeon master grins. "Obviously! After that, boss room and then maybe a rest stop with one of those new healing puddles we apparently unlocked. No idea on the boss yet, maybe something will come to me by time we get that far."

The slime boss nods, pleased at least with the general plan. "Well, I'm glad you've accepted the general utility and awesomeness of slimes. What're we doing for our next floor theme, then?"

Xenia rolls her eyes. "Please, let me at least finish one before I gotta go planning more. We'll get there when we get there..."

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

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Hours later, though not so late that the light's begun to fade, Doorman finds himself under an assault of flirty comments that he's not sure he'll be able to withstand for long.

"Wow, look at that woodwork, Nallond. I daresay a master craftsman put this together, have you ever seen a more alluring door?"

Doorman looks down at the two elvish men and their dwarvish friend, not sure how to respond. "Who, me? Why, I'm nothing special. I did get a bit of a makeover the other day though, do you like it?"

The second elf smirks. "Renriel, look at you, you've got the door blushing! But indeed, you look good, my friend. And I must say, those rabbit decorations are quite interesting! And the clams? I hope I'm not reading into things too much, but I like the way things are looking..."

Doorman clears his throat, and attempts to remain professional. "Well, they may represent one or two challenges you'll find inside, yes. But if you want to get inside, first you must pass the challenge of my riddles!"

The dwarf woman, who'd spent the time quietly slipping up to the door, begins lightly stroking the wood around the handle area. "Aww, riddles are such a bore. It's a shame we don't have a proper rogue in our party, because we'd really love to...pick your lock, you know?"

The guardian begins to stammer a little at this unusual approach. "What? I don't even have a key! The keyhole is, ah, purely decorative, you know? Now, about that riddle..."

"Decorative? Why, I can think of all kinds of things I could do with a nice keyhole like this..." The woman traces a finger around the edge of the lock, leans further in, and begins gently whispering into the metal orifice.

"What? That's nonsense, I don't even...really? You think that?" The door gasps in surprise. "That's...you really have an amazing voice, you know. But I can't...oh...well...oh my." After a minute of gentle strokes and soft whispers goes by, there's a sudden clicking noise and the door swings open. It seems to take Doorman himself by surprise, but he attempts to recover and take control of the situation. "I, ah...yes! You have solved my riddle to satisfaction. I mean. W-welcome to the dungeon. Enjoy your stay! And...come again?"

The dwarf gives a smile to her companions, and the three step inside. A moment later they're engaged with killing ambushing birds, but Nallond takes a moment to lean in and whisper to the dwarf. "You know, Tolla, I heard the door's riddles aren't even really very tough."

Tolla gives a laugh in response. "Oh, I know. But this way is so much more fun!"

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While the party is small at only three members, they give every indication of being yet another overleveled group as they rampage through the first floor. The dwarf with her axe seems to pick up a literal sort of momentum as she goes, running through the Bone Maze at top speed and annihilating the last few skeletons by simply running through them, the elves cleaning up behind her as they follow. She even rushes into the boss room without waiting for them to catch up, and when BB attempts to slam into her with a jump, he finds himself bounced off into a wall with more than a few injuries for his trouble. She does at least have to take a stop there, seeing as she runs out of running space left on the floor, but Renriel's magic and Nallond's arrows prove quite adept at finishing the boss off. The spellcaster's magic seems to simply take effect with no need to actually fly to hit the target, while Nallond's form almost blurs out of reality even as he stands in place, making it impossible to judge where he's aiming at any given time.

Unlike the other high-leveled parties however, they don't even take the time to properly appreciate the mechanical nature of the second floor, as every time they clear out an ambush point they seem to grow more focused on each other than the space around them. It mostly seems to be a matter of the elves flirting with each other, occasionally punctuating a joke with a butt slap, while the dwarf watches on and bites her lip. Riding down with them in a virtual sense, Xenia finds herself a bit confused by their casual attitude to the dungeon, but when she zaps forward to meet up with Lollyp it seems the slime knows exactly what's going on.

"Man, this party doesn't seem to be taking shit seriously at all! I get the message already, that Expert dudes and higher can just prance through the damn place apparently, but most of em still have a bit more respect for my attempted murdering of em, you know?" Xenia finds herself talking to Lollyp's back, as the slime keeps her eye glued to a crack in the wall between her 'apartment' and the elevator shaft she'd recently added in.

"It could be they're just...oh. Oh. It's this party." The boss turns around and gives Xenia a wide grin that she honestly finds a little creepy.

"...Lolly. Why are you giving me a weird smile, Lolly?"

"Okay, giving you fair warning. I'll put on a better show this time, but you have to tell me all the juicy details when I respawn, alright?"

As she moves over to one of her ambush points, Xenia follows. "What? Details on what, Lolly?"

The slime just gives her another grin. "Sorry, it's showtime! But I'll say this - they're not here for the ~looooooot~."

With that she slides her way down to the lower level. She doesn't aim to knock anyone into an acid bath this time, simply landing on Nallond's head and disorienting him for a moment before leaping off into the center of the chamber. The trio quickly ready themselves for battle, though they take the time for some important pre-fight banter.

"Hey, what do you know - a slime monster with mage gear, guess this dungeon really does have a unique slime boss. A cutie, too." Nallond brings up his bow, charging up his arrows with elemental energy that may actually wound the woman. Rather than act concerned however, Lollyp responds with a flirt.

"You think I look good with the gear, you should see how I look without it." She turns sideways, pumping extra juice into her ass as she does so, and spanks one cheek in a way that leaves a hypnotic series of ripples. Watching, the trio quickly go from 'ready to attack' to 'ready to drool', going by the looks on their faces.

Tolla the dwarf recovers first. "Alright, it's already official - this is the best dungeon I've seen in months! Don't suppose you've got any...alternate challenge modes, slimy?"

To Xenia's confusion, Lollyp actually puts a finger to her chin and seems to think about it for a moment. "...That seems like a very tempting idea. Buuuut I really oughtta stop slacking off so much. Beat me if you can!" With a sudden twist she points her wand in Tolla's direction, firing off a bolt of electricity, but Renriel quickly supplies her with a barrier spell that blocks it. Meanwhile Nallond shoots off a series of ice-aspected arrows, one of which lands and causes Lollyp to lose some of her fluidity. So it is that when Tolla charges her a moment later, axe swinging, the slime is barely able to dodge and ends up losing half her mass in a single blow. "Ah! You're so rough."

"Sorry, slimy! Just can't stay away from a beautiful woman!" The dwarf turns for another charge, but is taken by surprise when Lollyp grabs up one of her own former body chunks and tosses it at Tolla's head, splattering across her face and blocking her breathing for a moment.

"Oh, sorry for the surprise facial! I just make a mess of myself sometimes..."

Across the room, Nallond leans over to Renriel. "You know, is it just me or this slime is trying to wind us up?" His friend chuckles back.

"I'd say so, and I'd say it's working..." The spellcaster sends a boost of power to his archer friend, and the next time he launches a volley of ice arrows, it turns into a horizontal hailstorm that blasts more pieces off of Lollyp and nearly freezes solid the rest. It gives Tolla all the time she needs to wipe off her face and return to the slime, axe held high.

"Thanks for all the foreplay, slimy. But it's time we brought this to a climax!" Lollyp attempts to respond, but finds her mouth frozen shut, and so she simply raises a thumbs up with one appendage as the axe swings down.

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After a brief moment of cleanup the trio make their way into the core chamber, and this time they do actually take a moment to appreciate the surroundings - in particular, the bed, which they notice before they even glance at the treasure chest. Tolla raises her arms in excitement. "Awesome! So awesome. We won't have to pull out that crappy camp mattress this time..."

Renriel chuckles. "Easy, girl. We still gotta do the offering, remember?" He reaches for a bag at his waist, but Tolla snatches it up.

"Ooh, ooh, let me!" As the elves shrug and move to check out the bed, Tolla makes her way to the empty table and puts on a slightly more formal tone to her voice. "Oh, great dungeon spirit! We Challengers have a humble request to make of you. We - Renriel, Nallond, and myself, Tolla, are a group with a sacred mission. Which is, to put it simply - to fuck in every dungeon in the land, and if at all possible, to be the first to do so! They, heheh...they call us the Dungeon Fuckers! Haha!"

Nearby, an invisible Xenia cringes. Are they serious? It's bad enough adventurers gotta come in here and wreck my shit, but now they're gonna try and fuck on my bed, too? Gross! ...Also they're a bit late on that 'first' part...

Tolla continues however, pulling items out from the bottomless bag. "As thanks for your mercy and understanding, we bring you gifts! First, some of the finest pornographic broadsheets from Anchorfest." She pulls out a number of paper items, somewhere between a cheap magazine and a small newspaper, displaying drawn images of erotic acts, each copy apparently focusing on a different species. "A scroll, for the spell Illusionary Demon - I hear for dungeons they can make a monster look like a succubus or incubus, and while they may not be as smart as one, sometimes the eye candy is all you need, eh?"

Xenia considers the items added to her table. Well, Lollyp was asking for some paper, and an illusion spell does sound potentially useful...but still! These creeps are weird! And it's my bedroom!

Tolla steps away from the table with a grin. "And of course...you're welcome to watch." She gestures towards the two elvish men, who almost on cue begin to make out. Nallond's tight pants soon reveal a noticeable bulge, although it's quickly concealed when Renriel's hand slips inside those pants to massage it.

Xenia stands still, stupefied. Stand strong, Xenia. You can resist the...hot elf boys...making out in your bedroom. And the dwarf who's pulling off her...oh my god, what cup size are those even? Where was she hiding those!?

Without warning a new table suddenly rises out of the ground next to the bed, and on it sits a glass potion bottle filled with a thick pink liquid. The trio stare at it for a moment, until Nallond begins to laugh. "Is that...oh, ho. If I'm not mistaken, isn't that a bottle of slime-based lube? Doesn't that go for a gold coin per bottle back in the capital?"

Tolla grins widely. "Sometimes a lot more than that when trade relations get bad. I think we just got permission, boys."

Invisibly, Xenia begins to slap her virtual face. BAD SUBCONSCIOUS! BAD SUBCONSCIOUS! ...But it'd be rude to try and kick them out now...maybe I should just...see how this goes...?