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Worthy Core
Chapter 144: Self-Examination

Chapter 144: Self-Examination

The next morning, although not too early, Xenia called up a meeting of the dungeon council. There were no Challengers trying the dungeon at the moment, which was lucky, because the dungeon master wanted her top-floor bosses to be around for the conversation as well. To start things off, Xenia began with a welcome. "Morning, dweebs! It's time for another meeting of the dungeon council, and before we start, welcome to the core chamber, Trush and BB!"

The pair smile and nod at the rest of the table, although BB's greeting doesn't quite match his cheerful expression. "Morning! Interesting that you do this. If I'd known business meetings were part of the routine, maybe I would've resisted learning how to talk!"

There's a few awkward chuckles, but Xenia just shoots the roguish rabbit an unimpressed glance. "Hey, it ain't mandatory, Bunny Boy. Big D's out relaxing and the armors never show up. You wanna take a hike, you're welcome to, or if you want me to find something to turn you into without such a big mouth..."

"Haha...no, no, please continue! I'm eager to find out what I've been missing these past few months."

"Right, then." Xenia glances around the table, making sure that Lollyp, Sincere, Taly, and Trush are at least paying attention. "For those of you who ain't spent time down here before, I call these sorts of meetings...well, basically when I want advice on something, or when I got an announcement to make. Or some sort of group activity planned. For example...planning another raid into the Great Dungeon for new floors."

Sincere seems a little surprised at the topic for the day. "Already? Floor Six has only been beaten once - only even tried once, at that! I suppose there's no harm in being prepared, but are you actually worried about your core's safety?"

The dungeon master shakes her head. "This is actually only like, ten percent about unlocking a new floor, and ninety percent about me exploiting the soul flashbacks I get on the way to em, or whatever you wanna call em. See, last night, Trush helped remind me of something. Shut up, Lollyp."

The slime pouts. "I didn't even open my mouth yet!"

"And that's cause I know you so well, Lolly Pop." She gives Lollyp a smile, but quickly moves on, making it clear that she really doesn't want to get too distracted this morning. "See...well, I guess first I got to explain what it is I want out of all this. And I'm gonna be honest - this isn't really a dungeon concern. It's a me concern. I've got no reason to believe this will benefit our way of doing things in any way."

Taly shrugs. "Well, it's not like we weren't going to do a dungeon raid eventually anyways, as I understand it. But please, continue."

"Right. So...you all know that I've been thinking some more about my past lately, and about how that damned fury demon's been making me feel...well, as guilty as I probably deserve to. The problem is, it's really fuckin' hard to make amends from another dimension and centuries later. I'll give Silverstar credit though, she did give me one useful hint...as a last resort there's always the gods, either by doing something for them or getting them to help me help out the people who actually deserve it. It's just a matter of getting the right gods, the ones who actually had jurisdiction back when I fucked up like I did."

Lollyp makes a thoughtful expression, actually turning serious for the moment. "Well I assume it's not Kahlia, or someone would have mentioned something. I guess the idea is to have Kahlia get you into contact with the 'right' gods, though?"

Xenia raises a finger into the air. "That's one step of the plan. Unfortunately, not only do I not remember what gods were worshiped in the area at the time - seriously, I've probably heard of thousands of the assholes by this point - not every god is a god in every realm. Maybe none of them are. Even aside from gods using different names and faces in different places, I don't think a god can handle more than like...half a dozen realms, maybe a dozen if they're real strong. Not counting pocket dimensions and shit. It's a wild-ass gamble that any of the gods from that realm even work in this one, or that Kahlia might know how to get in touch with them if they don't."

Sincere leans forward, very much distracted by this revelation. "Wait, hold on a moment. I feel as if I've perhaps been living under a major misconception my entire life. Do I understand that you're saying there are, say...many Gods of Fertility out there, for example, and Kahlia is only our 'local' divinity? I knew there were other realms, but somehow I didn't imagine that this was an aspect of it!"

"Oh yeah, gods are weird shit. That's not even the half of it, the way they get into turf wars and all that..." She looks around the room, and sighs. "Do y'all want me to take a detour to explain gods real quick?"

Taly gives an exasperated sigh. "Xenia! You've just come in here and overturned...an endless amount of religious theology! Yes, I think this needs a bit of explanation!"

For his part, BB seems far more entertained, as he snacks from a bowl of carrots set out especially for him. "Well, now I'm much more glad I came down here. Please, tear down the gods for us!"

"Great, I've evolved you into a godslayer-wannabe. ...That's a bonus point actually, feel free to keep that up. Anyhow, gods are in this constant struggle of wanting to get big and powerful...but not too big and powerful. This is all shit I've pieced together here and there over the years, by the way, though at least one straight-up admitted a lot of it to me. You see, gods got these portfolios, right? Fertility, War, Love, and so on. Once they get established, they've got two main ways to expand - more portfolios, or more territory. By which I mostly mean whole realms, not just tiny kingdoms."

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

Trush raises a question. "Surely one would win control of everything eventually, yes? What's this upper limit you were referring to?"

Xenia chuckles as she quotes something. "It's the genie's lament! 'Phenomenal cosmic power, itty-bitty living space.' Though to be more accurate, it's less living space and more...their existence as more than just a force of nature. See, these portfolios aren't powers. They're systems, obligations, responsibilities. A god can't ignore their portfolio even if they want to, or they lose it. And even a god can only split their attention so many ways. They stretch themselves too thin and they sort of...stop being people, as much as they're ever people to begin with. They just fade away, all of their power completely consumed with maintaining their base-level responsibilities."

Xenia chuckles again a little more quietly, as if remembering a private joke. "You ever run into a brand new god, one in charge of like...baking pastries, in one realm? They'd practically pass as a normal dude. But one god manages to become the sole god of a realm, covering every single aspect? They're basically going to be invisible from then on. Maybe they get to do the occasional tiny miracle, influence small events one way or the other, but for the most part you won't even be able to tell for sure if you've even got a god there at all. Some gods can deal with that. A lot of them aren't interested."

The group takes a moment to digest that, and Sincere breaks the silence first. "So, just to clarify one point. In this realm of ours, we're said to have two primary gods of war. The God of Strategy, Nalienn, and the Goddess of Battle, Erashi...not to mention the Goddess of Victory who often gets worshipped by soldiers, though they say she started out as a goddess of sports. As everyone knows, they and their followers are often in conflict. If one of them were to win this conflict, then..."

Xenia nods. "The loser would have to abandon their portfolio here and flee to another realm, or risk dying off if they had nothing left. Meanwhile the winner would get stronger when it comes to influencing all sorts of war, but also less, in some ways. Fewer answered prayers, fewer Paragons, that sort of thing."

"That...is entirely counter-intuitive to what I would have assumed." The demon shakes his head, refocusing his attention. "...But I can see we've diverted far too much from your original topic. Thank you for indulging us, however."

"Nah, it's fine. Like I said, my goal here today is mostly a selfish one, so I may as well do something for you bunch. Now, where were we? Ah right! My bad memory and my inability to remember every fuckin' god I've ever heard of."

Lollyp is a little confused, and about more than just questions of theology. "How are the flashbacks going to help you with any of that? That's basically random, right? Any time, from any of your lives...we could clear out the entire dungeon of its floors and not get you to the right one!"

"Actually...I'm not so sure it is random. Like, the other time, I'd been thinking just recently about the last time I got smited by a god, right? Then bam - reliving the smiting moment! I think if I really focus on a particular moment, I've probably got a higher chance of it coming up. And if we try and miss, well...honestly, I might just auto-fail us out of there and try again a day or so later. If it don't work a couple more times then, I dunno...I'll start looking around for a Challenger to kill with memory magic or some shit."

Sincere nods along. "It's certainly worth experimenting a bit with, I think. If it does work, well, perhaps it will come in handy down the line, as well. That said, we are still talking about a dungeon raid in the end, here. How and when shall we arrange this latest expedition?"

"Right." Xenia turns to look at her newest rabbit councilmembers. "Trush, BB, you want to check it out? Oh and Taly, you haven't done one yet either, right? Whole buttload of newbies here today. I think we'd need at least one of Lollyp or Sincere to handle potential magic issues, as well."

Despite the offer, BB gives a dismissive shrug. "Meh. I do enough fighting every day as it is, and I don't want to bother that much if we might be repeating this all week. Maybe next time, though."

"Fair enough. Magic nerds, volunteers?"

Lollyp looks thoughtful. "I'll let Sincere take this one, if I can hang out with the Squires while you're away."

"Jesus Christ, Lollyp."

"What!? I know what Taly was up to just last night!"

Xenia shakes her head, but with a smirk. "Sorry, sorry. Have fun, Lolly Pop. The rest of you, meet back here after business hours, alright? We'll see what I can dig out of this useless head of mine..."

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That evening Xenia, Trush, Taly, and Sincere gathered together once again in her core chamber. The dungeon master had spent the entire afternoon thinking as hard as she could about her life as Prince of the Fallen Tower, both to try and 'fix' it as her likely destination for the night, and also to see if she could remember any useful deities without needing to resort to such tricks. She had no such luck, however, and so once again Xenia activated her curse, sending her team into the dungeon, and herself into her own memories.

When her vision returns, the decor at least is immediately recognizable, and Xenia knows her ploy paid off. She stands in a dingy room, designed with elven architecture at its base, but left to decay and intentionally turned dim and dingy. The windows had been mostly sealed shut, the magical lights replaced with weaker versions, and the room was specifically left off of the cleaning schedule. Cages and torture implements decorated the place, literally as decorations, most of them having never been used. Although there is one occupant of the room at the moment aside from Xenia herself, whom she notices as she turns around.

The man is barely much more than a boy, fresh-faced and brown-haired. Everything about him just screams 'Hero' - not that there was no diversity in their set, aside from a strong tendency towards young men, but there was always a certain indescribable aura about them, something that said 'I'm here to change the world!'. As she looks over the man strapped down to the table in front of her, shirtless and furious, a pang of guilt strikes her heart once again - she can already remember the moment she made that aura fade away from him for good.

"Ah, look at you. Peter the Sword Champion. Fancy meeting a guy like you in a place like this, huh?"