Van lay in bed all alone. Wondering what his next course of action would be and what he was going to happen to him next.
It seemed like a lot of things were happening all at once, and only now that he had some time alone to himself did he realize how terrified he was. With his secret out, who knows what was going to happen to him. How people would react, how they would treat him or act around him. Just the thought of all those women now knowing what he was sent a chill up his spine and made him fear for his future.
More importantly, he couldn’t help but replay the memory of the meeting he had with Malon. There was just something about the person that felt familiar.
But those thoughts could probably wait. Right now he had to figure out what he did and didn’t not have control of and then figure out what he could do and take control of to bend things to his betterment. In other words, he had to make a plan for his future, the only problem was… He had no idea what he wanted to do for his future…
With no other recourse, he decided to lay his head down and rest. Slowly falling down deeper into his mind until he found himself in his soul realm.
Opening his eyes to the sight of his throne room, he immediately began to call for Ren to have him advise on what to do from here on out. As much as he didn’t like to do so, Ren might provide a unique perspective. And perhaps allow him to ask a few questions he had about Malon…
“You called Van?” Ren asked as he made his way to the throne.
“Yes. I need your advice on what I’m going to be doing now in the future, now that everyone knows about my secret…” Van said.
Ren shrugged. “It was just a matter of time everyone figured it out anyway. Though I admit I didn’t expect it to be so soon, nor create the waves that it did.” He gave a thoughtful look. “It’s almost like someone intentionally spread the information…”
Van perked up at that. “Do you mean someone found out what I was and instead of hiding it to blackmail me, intentionally spread it? Why?”
Ren shrugged. “I couldn’t tell you. It could be someone just decided to spread malicious rumors about you, or it could be someone who didn’t like you, found out about your secret and decided to spread it. Such as Karmila. Though It doesn’t sound like something she would do…”
Van gave Ren’s words some thought, wondering who had it out for him and why. But no matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t come up with an easy person to blame… In the end he sighed and decided to change the conversation.
“Ren… I’ve been having a weird feeling as of late… And I am wondering if you may know something about it…”
Ren tilted his head. “Yes? What is it?”
“About Malon… I’ve been getting… Strange feelings from him. Do you know anything about it?”
“Hmm…” Ren looked thoughtful, more as if he was wondering how much information he should share, then if he was wondering about Van’s question.
“Do you remember that past life you had? The one that was originally supposed to be Kassandra’s husband? The one that was really obsessed with golems and stuff? It could be that he and you are similar in that regard.”
Van’s back straightened. “Wait, you mean to tell me he has a part of my soul in him!” Panicking a little at the thought.
“Not exactly, It’s more like you both have equal parts of a greater soul. It just so happened he is your counterpart.” Ren began to explain. “As I’ve told you a long time ago. There could be multiple iterations of you in several different worlds. And though rare, it is also possible that other iterations of yours could exist in this world.”
“If I had to take a guess. You are pessimism and desire. While he is hope and ambition.” Ren shrugged, “Or something like that, I don’t know.”
“But what I do know is that the more you're in contact with each other, the more that strange feeling will continue to grow. In the end, you will both instinctively want to absorb the other. Usually this means the weaker dying, though not always by each other's hand.” Ren gave a thoughtful expression. “It could be the reason why you're acting out on so much of your desires. Perhaps instinctively you're trying to grow as strong as you can to prevent yourself from being absorbed...”
Van looked fearful. “What do I do to prevent myself from being absorbed?” He asked.
“Grow stronger or just avoid being too close to Malon.” Ren said with a shrug as if this didn’t really concern him. “So basically what you’ve been doing up till now.”
“Why does it sound like you don’t care!” Van accused.
“Because it really doesn’t matter to me. I’m simply a past life of yours. It doesn’t matter who is alive, just so long as one of you is. Though if it makes you feel better. While Malon is physically stronger than you. Spiritually you are far stronger than him. Your soul realm is far larger and definitely more powerful than his. At least that was what I could tell from the little time you spent in his presence. And when it really comes down to it, the one with the stronger soul usually wins in these situations.” Ren explained.
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“Really?” Van looked relieved. “That’s good…”
Then he turned a glare towards Ren. “And how many other me’s are going around in this world.” Now sounding accusatory.
Once more Ren shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal to him. “I Couldn’t say, by my calculations there should be one more soul out there. But I can’t be completely sure. Souls don’t always follow the rules you and I do. Time, space, it doesn’t matter. A soul can appear or disappear anywhere it wishes to. With some theorizing that it’s some sort of cloud of quantum entanglements that acts like something akin to a brain. Allowing it to even be in several different places at the same time.”
“Ever heard of a strange situation where someone hundreds or even thousands of miles from where they were born has the same face, personality and even backstory as someone else? You can thank the soul for that, for being in several different places at the same time. The soul transcends all laws that we understand, even the soul realm is not fully understood. Have you ever wondered what lies outside the bubble of your soul realm? Nothing good I can tell you…”
“Outside the bubble of my soul realm…?” Van couldn’t help but now worry about what Ren meant by that.
“Anyway. You asked me what I can do to help you out of this situation.” Ren said. “But unfortunately you're just going to have to wait this one out. Don’t worry, I have a feeling things are going to work towards your benefit in the end. Though I guess that is really largely up to you.”
“Anything else you need to know?” Ren asked.
“Yeah… How the hell do I get rid of you…” Van asked, annoyed with Ren.
Ren shrugged. “That’s perhaps something you will naturally learn how to do when you grow stronger and have more control over your soul realm. Have you been reading my book?”
Van sighed and nodded. “I stopped halfway through though because of some school work coming up and distracting me.”
“Well you should be able to figure out how to deal with me like you did with your other past lives once you start nearing the end. Make no mistake, I only took control because I wanted your choices to be your own. If my advice or actions make you think otherwise, I apologize. But once you are fully in control and decide to banish me, then run yourself into a ditch and die. Then at least it was by your own decision.”
Van frowned. “How very moral of you…” He said sarcastically.
“Just doing what I can.” Ren replied.
“You can go now.” Van said, having had enough of Ren. Even though he had a few more questions, lately Ren had been getting on his nerves a lot more often as of late. He couldn’t be sure if it was just him, or if Ren himself was trying to make himself less likable. But if so, for what?
Van raised his hand once Ren had left and started going through the several blue screens that pictured the outlook of his soul realm. What Ren had said about what was outside the bubble of his soul realm weighed on his mind.
Getting up and flying out of the castle, his curiosity getting the better of him, even as something instinctively tried to warn him against doing what he was going to do next. Reaching the edge of his soul realm, he placed a hand on the membrane of his soul and began to push his awareness outward.
His own soul seemed to fight back against him, as if trying to save him from a rash and terrible mistake. Undeterred, he pushed on, trying to see beyond what lay inside his soul realm.
“This is probably a huge mistake…” Van thought to himself as he began to have goosebumps and every instinct of his screamed at him not to do something so foolish.
Finally, after a few minutes, the walls of his soul gave way to his determination and he was able to slip a small strand of his consciousness outside. What he saw made him gasp in shock and terror…
It was nothing but a big black void of nothing. Literal nothing…
Or that was what he thought at first…
After a while he began to feel more than see things surrounding him. Peering over the area with his sixth sense, he was able to feel the many smaller bubbles that seemed to be attached to his own bubble. Slowly being absorbed deeper into his own.
Projecting his senses outward, he sensed other souls, far far away. Almost like little stars twinkling in the distance. He would have been fascinated by all this, if a few didn’t outright disappear, as if swallowed whole by some great big eldritch abomination that was sure to give him nightmares…
Though he couldn’t be sure what exactly happened, he knew that he wasn’t alone in this strange void he found himself in. Fearfully he retreated back into the relative safety of his own soul realm. But the realization that his soul was just one of countless others floating in an endless void where who knows what exists was a terrifying experience. More than that, he also couldn’t help but see that there were souls that didn’t look like souls at all, more like temples, castles, or even a few spaceships. With even a few like trees, or parasites devouring other souls…
“It’s not easy to close your eyes once they have been opened…”
Van gave a start, whipping his head around he found Ren waiting there for him.
“You've been gone for eight hours, people are beginning to worry… Are you alright?” Ren asked, concerned.
“Eight hours…? But it was only for a few moments…” Van said, now unsure how much time actually passed by.
“The great void has no time… You could have been gone for years or just a few seconds, while only a few hours or decades would have passed here… If you had read my book, you would have been able to split a portion of your consciousness, in a way similar to how Anna helps with your doubles and send them out instead of yourself.”
Van ignored that, he almost seemed desperate to share what he experienced, to get it off his chest, but Ren stopped him.
“There is no need for that. I’ve already experienced everything and then some of what you are talking about, first hand I might add… It is not easy rearranging an entire soul without having an outside perspective to make sure you're doing your job right. Not to mention it was necessary to make sure I steer this ship to avoid any and all threats that might come our way. There are a lot of creatures out there that feed off of people's hate or love. Once they adhere themselves to a soul, they will amplify some of the negative aspects of the soul and feed off it. Kinda puts some things in perspective, doesn’t it…?” Ren explained.
Van tried to calm himself down. Realizing he was probably going to need some time to properly digest everything. “I saw… I saw Malon… And… Someone else… Far to the north… I… I don’t know… But were being pulled together…? I can’t be sure…”
Ren nodded. “It’s only natural for souls separate wanting to be put back together. Especially in worlds where the soul is the strongest or the most expressed.
He then put his hand gently on Van’s back. “Come on now, let’s get back to the castle, it’s time for you to wake up.
Van oddly enough let Ren lead him away without much fight. His thoughts strayed constantly back to the horrors he could barely witness in that great big black void.