If years passed as seconds did, a life full of memories would unfold.
If the birds had sung any louder, any louder at all, it seemed like peace of mind would have been within his grasp. But the forest was quiet, despite the early morning and the persistent sun. That October was a stubborn one, with barely any sounds of life, killing the spirit with unnatural scorching air and nightly rain that made the dust heavier. The earthly spirits rose from the grass and mixed with the forest air when Thomas Hammer sighed. He watched dawn untangle the morning sky, thinking of the future he would have to defy. For a moment he wanted to believe that the past year had been a dream, a dome he had created in his mind to shelter it from the mayhem that had taken over the world; but one can never see inside the city covered in eternal fog while sitting in the forest. Now that he was looking up, at the sky, the clouds, and a quarter of a sun, he was overwhelmed by a very simple realization: he had nothing left to his name. So, what kind of home was he to build? Now that the slate was clean, what kind of man should he become?
He lost a quarter of the fool that he used to be. He used to think that somewhere beyond all that dust lay a life that could not be destroyed by the wind; the dome that had been built to protect him shattered into gigantic pieces he refused to pick up.
I’m so sick of this.
Something has to follow sorrow; in the case of Thomas Hammer, the newly-appointed savior of cursed souls, it was a void. He felt empty. It was that simple. He knew he only really had one option: wait for Diane Hunster, follow Diane Hunster, die for Diane Hunster. It was all so simple. In a world overruled by chaos, by despair, by Demons, by princes and princesses, having such a purpose should have brought him peace of mind. But it didn’t. It didn’t bring anything. So, as he sat on a bole of a fallen tree and soaked up a quarter of sunshine, he hoped someone would come and tell him what to do.
Anyone but Elaine.
“I was hoping I’d find you here,” a faint voice commented from somewhere he couldn’t see. Thomas jumped up, and in his eyes lit that cursed spark, making them red and yellow with rage. He wouldn’t mind burning that forest anymore; it brought nothing but unwanted memories. “I love chatting in nature,” the voice continued, still in the shade. But her hair and eyes were too determined to blind him to be hidden for long.
“I think I told you not to show your face to me ever again,” he warned, flames covering his arms up to his elbows.
“I don’t think I agreed to that,” Elaine replied, her arms crossed. “Besides, it’s not like you really meant it.”
“You sure?” he asked, his voice slightly more high-pitched than usual. Her face provoked a bodily reaction similar to vertigo, and he couldn’t wait to see her back.
“I am.”
When he shot a fireball into the sky, she was unmoved. Even though the odds have changed, she was confident he wouldn’t even scratch her. Because, under that new exterior, he had no clue what to do. And he knew, just like Elaine did, that nothing had been decided yet.
That was the root of his discontent.
She chucked. “Tell me, now that you’ve made your… disdain so apparent, what will you do if Diane comes back saying she wants things to go back to the way they were?”
He hated how her eyes smiled together with her lips; she thought him nothing but a simpleton. “She won’t,” he replied confidently.
“I wouldn’t be so sure. If I were Diane…”
“Luckily, you’re not.”
She bit her lip; her face was painted the most joyous of colors. “Fair. But you know that her not being here yet doesn’t work in your favor.”
“I said I didn’t want to talk to you ever again.”
“If the decision was so easy to meet, she would have been here already.”
He was sweating. “Leave.”
“Maybe she’s realized that fighting back would be suicide.”
“Elaine.”
“Maybe she doesn’t want to sacrifice millions of lives for a fight she cannot win.”
“King, you’re so…”
Elaine wanted him to explode. She wanted him to burn the entire forest, to kill hundreds, to kill everyone in the town, so she could look him in the eye and say: ‘How very Flamer-esque of you. You see, we are not so different after all.’. She didn’t expect him to have learned self-control. The last time she saw him two months ago, he almost strangled her to death; she truly believed him a simple animal. So, when the flames around his arms disappeared and he looked up, his eyes gray again, she felt shivers running up and down her spine. She hated how much trouble he was giving her; a mere pawn. She had more pressing things at hand than to worry about a disposable like him.
“Alright,” he replied, “I’ll leave then.” He picked up the sword lying on the bole.
She sighed. “Would it really kill you to listen to what I have to say?”
He clenched his teeth. “You killed my mother, Elaine.”
“And you killed Diane’s,” she replied instantly.
“Because of you!” he yelled.
Elaine shook her head. “Not true. Maria Hunster played a game she knew she couldn’t win. Just like your mother.” She took a few steps forward; Thomas looked at her, not moving back this time. “They both thought they could outplay destiny. Don’t you see, Thomas? There is no other way. Honestly, I don’t care how you feel about me. That’s not why I’m here.”
“Then why are you here?”
“I just want us to be partners. You don’t have to like me for that. We have the same goal.”
“Do we?” he sneered.
“Yes, we do. We both want this world to change for the better.”
“Again, you’re wrong. I see nothing wrong with this world.”
“That’s because you haven’t been looking,” she replied. Her voice was soft and melodious each time she persuaded people into madness. “Despair is all around you, Thomas. Open your eyes. We are repeating history. Crystalians were heroes when they rebelled, so why are Demons the villains?”
“Because Crystalians didn’t want to rule over everyone else and… They are monsters. Nothing more and certainly nothing less.”
Elaine smiled as if she were in pain; Thomas knew she wasn’t, so the grimace she put on made him even angrier. “There is no real difference, Thomas. A war is a war. You don’t know because you’ve never experienced it, but…”
“And you have?!” he mocked.
The smile on her face disappeared and she, for the first time since they’d met, looked at him seriously. “As I’ve said, you haven’t been looking. You have no clue what is going on in the world. That is why your mind is so narrow. But that doesn’t matter to me. All I need is to know that you will do your duty as a member of The Six.”
Thomas came close to her, so she could feel his warm breath on her face and hear his heart bang against his chest. “The only duty I have is to serve Diane Hunster. If she says to die in a war we cannot win, I die. If she says to abandon my beliefs and morals, I do. This mellow voice and innocent face may have worked before, but that was before I saw my house burn. I know you will do anything to see this thing through. But believe me, so will I.”
She smiled. “This thing, Thomas, is salvation. But I see you’re too hollow to see it.” She turned around and took a few swift steps away. Then she stopped. “In a week, I am going to Iceleus to find the Swan. When I do, I will be less mellow.” Her teeth reflected the quarter of the sun. “Just in case you change your mind. I’m a very forgiving person to those born deserving it. But no one knows how the harsh climate might affect my mercy.”
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She was gone as suddenly as she appeared. She left behind a scent Thomas knew all too well and hated with every atom of his being. She loved leaving little crumbs of doubt here and there, just to make you think about her. Thomas felt like a hostage of circumstance after every meeting, and it would take him days of training to regain his composure. The way she talked and smiled contrasted so drastically with her little plans that Thomas couldn’t help but wonder how Isaac could stand her presence. And now, he had no clue what she was planning; it could have all been a lie. She was no stranger to deception. But he still knew he had to tell Kyla about it.
“Witch.”
He attached the sword to his belt and sprinted towards his house; he needed considerably less time to reach it now. He wondered if Diane would be proud of him. Kyla was. After miraculously surviving the explosion that killed so many, Kyla accepted Thomas’s offer to move into his new house to heal and keep him company; he was certain that, should he spend a single night alone in that house, he would go insane and, maybe, even join Elaine in her quest. He hated that he was having such silly doubts every now and then. He knew that Diane would make the right choice, to fight. She would never let them play with her again. She was her old self again. She was strong again. She was ruthless again. And undefeated. At least he hoped.
He always stopped before entering his new house, as if to prepare himself for all that empty space.
Closing the door behind him, Thomas took off his shoes and, on his toes, made his way to the living room. The floor squeaked a bit, but not enough to alarm the ghosts and wraiths that had inhabited the bedroom that looked like the one a middle-aged woman used to sleep in. He had built a house identical to the one he grew up in, so it seemed like no time had passed at all. He never entered his mother’s room; it was left completely bare, never to be used.
“Did you check the mailbox?” Kyla asked from the kitchen.
“Yes,” he lied. He tried to appear calm, but his heart was drilling a hole in his chest.
“Any news?”
“No, still nothing,” he replied as he sat on the couch in the living room.
Kyla walked in, an apron with ridiculous colors around her chest. She always wore a patch over her left eye; that way, she claimed, she could pretend it was the cause of her damaged sight and not the missing eye. “I was sure she would send something this time.”
“Yes, and leave it in the mailbox,” Thomas replied sarcastically.
Kyla hit him on the back of his head with her left hand; her only hand. “Like you have a better idea.”
“Everything is better than the mailbox, Kyla,” Thomas replied, dramatically rubbing the back of his head. Then he grabbed the newspaper lying on the table in front of him; it took him a few seconds to open it properly.
“Well, you never know.” She shifted uncomfortably. “Are you alright?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Where were you anyway?”
“I went for a walk. I woke up really early and didn’t want to disturb you.” As he flipped the page, there was a colossal picture of Elizabeth and Naisa shaking hands with George Brown. “Monumental discovery leads to unlikely alliance,” he read out loud. “Morons. So much for waiting for Diane to come back.”
“They’re preparing in advance. In case, you know, she chooses them,” Kyla explained, now sitting next to him. She looked at him intensely, noticing the slight deviations in his voice and the uncertainty in his eyes.
He cleared his throat. “They’re trying to corner her.”
“It makes sense from their point of view.”
Thomas scoffed. “Hope is a scary thing. I can’t believe they still think they stand a chance.”
Kyla took the newspaper from his hands, folded it, and put it back on the table. “Nothing is certain until Diane comes back. Keep that in mind.”
Thomas looked at her bewilderedly. “I find it so fascinating that you of all people are saying that. You’ve known her so much longer than me…”
“Exactly,” Kyla interrupted him. “You don’t know her. I do. That is why I know it’s too soon for rash decisions.”
Thomas stood up. “Well, I think you’re wrong. I think there is no way she will let that woman lead her life for her ever again. It ended so catastrophically last time…”
“Except Diane is the Queen of Crystalia now.”
“So what?”
“So everything. She knows that if she chooses to fight, her people will have to fight as well. It’s not like Elaine will agree to solve this between the two of them. If Diane refuses George’s offer, Elaine will do everything she can to have Diane find the Swan, get you all in a room together, and then get rid of all of you, one by one. If anything, I hope Diane chooses to swallow her pride and play along.”
Thomas froze. “That woman killed my mother.”
“And she will kill a thousand more mothers. It means nothing to her.” Kyla sighed. “Besides, didn’t you kill Diane’s?”
“This again… Like it’s the same thing…”
“I’m just trying to tell you that the world is not black and white,” Kyla looked at Thomas, her eye overflowing with determination. “I will respect Diane’s decision, whatever it may be.”
Thomas took a deep breath; it was one hell of a morning. “Yeah, well… It wouldn’t hurt if she hurried up a bit.”
Kyla stood up again and took off her apron. “Saw Elaine again?” She realized that pressure was the last thing he needed; but he wanted to feel in charge, to pretend like he knew what he was doing. Kyla had no clue how to deal with such weakness.
Thomas smiled. “It’s my cheerfulness and lust for life, isn’t it?” He stared at the corner of the room for a few moments, ordering his thoughts. “She said something strange. She probably made it up on the spot but…”
“What?”
“She is leaving for Icelius to find the Swan.”
Thomas was bothered by Kyla not replying; she just went back into the kitchen. He sat back down and waited for about half an hour, thinking about this and that, nothing relevant to the situation; like how beautiful the forest was in the morning, how he missed working at the bakery, and how horribly his life had changed since he met Diane Hunster. All the usual things. Then Kyla stormed back into the living room and sat next to him again.
“Here’s the thing,” she started, feverishly shaking. “It’s possible. In theory. If Diane met the Swan at some point, the Swan would have felt something too. They may not know exactly what it is, but they definitely would know something is off. That’s all they could possibly have.”
“She must be really desperate,” he commented as he took the newspaper again. He tried to appear nonchalant but his movements were too clumsy and his sighs too loud. “Do you really think…” he asked after a minute or two, “I mean, what do we do if she finds the Swan?”
“I don’t know, Thomas.” Kyla had her head in her hands. “I guess that’s it then.”
“We mustn’t let that happen.” Thomas threw the newspaper on the table and stood up angrily. “There has to be something we can do. We have to find the Swan.”
Kyla smiled helplessly. “There’s only two of us.”
Thomas was walking in circles around the room, his eyes frantically moving around, like he would find the answer on one of the walls. He tried to remember every name he had memorized, every face that glanced at him suspiciously; his pride didn’t matter anymore. With each turn he took the room became smaller until he felt walls pressing against his skin and making it so hard to draw a breath. It was sultry in the room, the windows were all closed, and there were so many eyes all around, all over the walls, the ceiling, the floor, on the carpet, and…
She didn’t lie. She didn’t. It was the truth. She knows something. She’ll find the Swan. She’ll find the Swan and then… It will be my fault. I have to do something. I have to find a way. This is my job. This is my job that Diane left to me. I have to do something. I have to think of something. Who do I know? No, Maria’s dead. I killed her. Mom is also dead. I killed her. No, Elaine did. No, I don’t know who did. But she can’t help me. Who do I know? Who can help me? Who will want to help me? Who…
He stopped. “That’s it,” he said, eyes wide open. “I’m talking to Brandon.”
“What?!” Kyla yelled in shock. “You can’t be serious!”
“I’m serious,” he replied, storming into the hallway and grabbing his jacket. “This is the only way.”
“You can’t be serious! Thomas, wait!” Kyla went after him and snatched the jacket out of his hands. “Just calm down for a second.”
“I can’t calm down, Kyla, I must go right now before…”
“Before what?”
“Before they beat me to it.” He was huffing and puffing, his eyes still wandering around the house. His face was red like he had a life-threatening fever.
“Thomas, they’ve already beat you to it years ago. There is no way Brandon would choose to help us over them,” Kyla said slowly, carefully pronouncing each syllable in hopes of bringing him back to his senses. “In fact, he seems pretty content minding his own business. Just sit down and we’ll think of something.”
“Do you have a better idea?!” he yelled back. “Cause I have a feeling you don’t.”
“Thomas, this is a horrible idea. Every idea is better than this one,” she pleaded. “King, this isn’t even an idea!”
Thomas leaned against the wall to his right to support himself. “No. Diane is his daughter. And she deserves to have a choice. He will help us. I will make him understand.”
“Diane couldn’t make him understand!”
“I can,” Thomas persisted, nodding stubbornly. “I can and I will. Because I have to. Because if I don’t, it will all be in vain. If Diane doesn’t choose to fight, it will all be in vain. Everyone who has died… I just can’t let that happen. I have this responsibility, Kyla. Diane left me this responsibility. I have to go.”
Kyla let him snatch his jacket back and run out of the house. She stood watching the door in disbelief. She couldn’t help feeling sorry for Thomas. He was a good person, only horribly weak and naive, completely unsuited for the position he was given.
She knew Diane well enough to be certain that Thomas was wrong. There was no way Diane Hunster would choose to sacrifice her people for a fight she could not win; and there was no way to win against the destiny. The queen was proud, yes, but she was never cruel on purpose. So, what took her so long? Why was she gaining from letting them all suffer in complete silence? Not a word in seven months. Not a single one. Like she had forgotten about them. Like she didn’t intend to come back. What game was she playing? What was the prize? Was she winning? And what did it make the people she left behind?
May God help us all.