The world was buzzing.
People were twisting and turning in an empty time and space without any real thoughts. The ground was frozen and wet, the trees with their branches miserably turned to the left under the pressure of a merciless wind. Thomas Hammer was looking at the hills from the castle window. What distanced him from those shapes and colors was a golden window frame; he saw the outside world as artificial, a play or a novel to cry along. The floors in the castle were unbearably hot even during such winder days. He could smell raspberry tea. There was a cup with a gold handle next to his bed; he only had to stretch out his hand. Or call somebody else. They would do it for him.
A flour loader.
A nobody.
A Falmer stuck in a dream that never seemed to end.
The person destined to save their lives. No, she was outside, breathing in a sense of control. To be the queen, to be a peasant, he thought, all came down to the same soil. And worms. Lots of worms all over the ex-queen’s body and a trace of Thomas’s sword. It was not his sword, but one he borrowed. Stole. A life. A peasant killed the queen. So what? He only took back what the crown owned. Thus, his enjoying the smell of sugar. His newly found wish for inner peace gave birth to a new urge. But he was bedridden from all that pride. It was then that he started, little by little, to understand Diane Hunster. All her schemes and lonely fights seemed to him to be rooted in the despair her position brought.
It is in one’s nature to bear such pride, he thought.
He wished Diane would walk into his room and talk about trivial things. A new mission with a trilling uncertainty and death in its smell seemed more appealing than sitting in this room and looking at the hills. His tea was cold now and so was his room. He had waited for too long. No one likes indecisiveness, especially people like Diane Hunster. If she got bored and left, he would understand. But then he would have to chase after her. Life as it was, was impossible to bear alone. So, he stood up and got dressed. As he was pulling up his pants, a necklace fell out of his pocket, the one Maria had given him right before he slashed her throat. He had forgotten about his wish to give it to Diane and let her do whatever she wished with it. But it had left bloody prints on on the inner side of his pocket; he had to have it cleaned first. Then he would have to find something else to wear. Maybe he would go exploring tomorrow, when his clothes were all dry and the smell had become a little fainter. He scoffed.
“Pathetic,” he said to himself, maybe slightly imitating Diane’s manner of speaking.
Then he put on his shirt and went out to find her. He was still not confident enough in himself or, truth be told, in his new life as someone’s savious, to go wandering around the castle alone and try to uncover secret passages and deep secrets. But it seemed it was his destiny to find that room by himself; Diane was nowhere to be found. He spent his day wandering around the castle instead, going into room after room, disused.
Maybe I’ll see what Isaac is up to. Maybe he has an idea about everything that has happened.
At some point he forgot about his plan and started thinking about the necessity of all those empty rooms. Maybe they served to accumulate dust, he thought, so the other rooms would remain clean. Such fun thoughts occupied his bored brain until, while on the point of giving up, as it usually is, he found something. Or rather, someone.
“It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Hammer,” Elaine said, leaning against the doorframe.
Thomas flinched. She was dressed in light blue, so pure it was almost transparent. But he could never peak into her soul as she did into his.
“Oh, hello, Elaine!” The lack of enthusiasm in his voice was covered up by a sweet smile, like she wasn’t the one standing in front of him.
Elaine returned the favor. “I hope you forgive me for last time.”
“Of course.”
Her lips twitched upwards a bit. “I am glad.”
He couldn’t bare looking at her anymore, so he turned his attention to the first thing in the room he could grab. Something in her air was different. Or was he simply stained by knowledge and couldn’t look into the eyes of an innocent soul?
“I can help you,” she said out of the blue.
The candle left dust on his fingers. “With what?”
“With your search.”
“Oh, there is no search!” he tried to laugh it off. “I am just… exploring. Things. Castle. Castle things.”
Her smile grew even wider, like she was about to disform. “Like candles?”
“Yes, exactly. I love candles.”
“So do I.”
“That’s, uhm, good. Very good, in fact.”
She seemed to Thomas more like a leech now than an angel. He wished he would stop seeing her, for each time he did the living perfection he had encountered during the little ball lost its splendor a tiny bit, and he wished to preserve the memory of a simpler time.
“I can help you either way,” Elaine insisted. She had that penetrating look on her face, like she would turn him into ash should he defy her more. Thomas never like strange beauties. “We are looking for the same thing.”
Thomas smiled to hide his trembles. “Like I said, I am not looking for anything.”
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Elaine walked into the room. “Have you found the Judge?”
“The… Judge?” he stuttered a bit, unsure whether he should face her or look away.
Elaine tilted her head to the side slightly. “Yes, the Judge.”
“Like in court?”
Elaine laughed. “Feigning ignorance doesn’t suit you, Mr. Hammer. Your face is all red. Quite unusual for a Flamer.”
Thomas stood transfixed as Elaine put her hand into his pocket and pulled out the necklace. She proceeded to examine it for less than a second before chuckling.
“Will you give it to Diane?”
“Yes.”
“How romantic. Let us go outside,” she said.
As they were walking down an empty corridor, the guards all bowed to her, despite her being but a maid. She told Thomas: “It seemed Diane didn’t tell you about me. You two truly have an amazing relationship going on!”
Thomas felt small. “Well, I guess that’s how she wants it.” He didn’t let confusion mess with submission; he followed, maybe the Judge, maybe someone who knew about them.
“She doesn’t know what ‘want’ means; she only follows orders. Didn’t you notice how every time she has to make a decision she does so when it’s too late? That’s because she has spent her life relying on someone else’s decisions, so now she doesn’t know how to make one.”
Thomas felt incredibly uncomfortable; not only was Elaine now talking to him for no reason, but she was also gossiping about Diane. He didn’t like gossiping about Diane.
“Can we talk about something else?” he asked.
“Why? Are you scared she would find out?”
“No.”
“Shame. I was about to offer you my protection,” Elaine stopped for him to catch up. “Ask.”
“What?” Thomas asked and they kept moving.
“Why I am suddenly talking so much. You want to, don’t you?”
“I do.”
“Then ask. You can’t expect people to always think about you. You have to fight for yourself. Do you think Diane waits around for others?”
“Why are you acting like this?” As soon as he asked the question, he felt acid spread all round his body.
“I am testing you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re the Fool. I need to know if you have made your choice.”
“What choice? And how do you…”
“Whom to follow.” She stopped and so did the world. It took her light years to ask the next question, and twice as much for Thomas to answer. “Whom are you following?”
“Diane.”
Elaine clicked her tongue. “Shame.”
Thomas stood in his place while Elaine proceeded to turn left and into another corridor.
“You don’t seem glad,” he said, jogging after her.
Elaine smiled. “I am not.”
She didn’t ask any more questions and neither did he. They continued walking towards the garden, Thomas looking for courage to speak his mind, Elaine for a way to push a certain princess over the edge. She seemed to have returned to her usual, quiet, celestial self. Thomas found it eerie how she could switch in and out of her designed personalities and complete a mission without a hint of hesitation.
“Who are you?” Thomas asked.
“The Judge.”
The corridor started spinning. If Elaine’s face hadn’t deformed yet, it would any second.
“You know what that means, right?” she asked in return.
“Isaac told me the Judge can communicate with Clara Heal.”
“Indeed.” She almost flinched at the mention of her lover’s name.
“So, what do you know? About the future, I mean.” Thomas felt incredibly weird as he asked that question. But it was all a twisted dream that lasted longer than it should have, so it was alright.
“I can’t tell you.”
“Why?”
“If it was your place to know, you would have been the Judge, not me.” Then Elaine turned towards Thomas, her abrupt decision almost making them clash. “We can’t mess this up.”
They kept walking; it seemed like their destination was in the future, the one Elaine refused to introduce to Thomas Hammer.
“So, is it a good future?” Thomas asked.
“The best we got in 2000 years.”
“I though our mission wasn’t valid anymore.”
“And why is that?”
“Because you and Void reconciled. Diane told me that the original plan was…”
Elaine grabbed Thomas’s arm and forced him to stop walking. “Dear Thomas,” she said, “things like that are none of your concern. Don’t trouble your little head with such… nonsense.”
When they stepped outside, the cold air cleaned Thomas’s lunges enough to give him strength to ask, “Then, what do we do to make it come true?”
Elaine immediately turned around. “You listen to me.” Then she smiled; he was so simple to mould. “I think I have the perfect task for you. What do you think? Should I give it to you?”
Again, that fog clouded his vision. “Yes.”
She came close enough to whisper, “I want to to tell Diane that you will never forgive her if she keeps letting me use her as I see fit.”
Thomas took a ste back. It was too cold for him to think. “What?”
“Don’t worry,” she replied with a bigger smile. “She just needs a little push.”
“But… Why would you want her to stop listening to you?”
“Because she needs to make a choice. And right now, she is hesitant. I can’t keep waiting, Thomas. This has to come to an end soon.”
“But if she stops listening to you, we won’t be able to defeat Demons! And then…”
“Thomas,” Eliane cut him off, “as I already told you, there is no reason for you to think about such things. Do we have a deal?”
Whether they had reached their destination or not remained a mystery to Diane for quite some time. It seemed years had passed before she was let into their little secret. Whether that was Elaine’s intention or not was up to Destiny to decide. But Diane did notice a strange glow on Thomas’s face the next time she saw him. Whether it was the glow of knowledge or disappointment, or their strange mixture that was fear of the future and past, the queen only found out when the snow had melted, and a hint of a new, never-before-seen spring gave birth to roses redder than those in Isaac’s immortal garden. But that was years from the present moment. Now they were standing face-to-face for the first time in a week. She was weak and small, he radiating a new kind of heat, that of sudden maturity. Her uniform was black, his dark purple. They were headed to Nowhere again to for the second time visit the grave of George Brown. They were now two different people collided with a new faith. She was always there, in the smells and visions, but never so realistically and never again so palpable. Thomas could hear Her every word, silently telling him it was about time he joined in on life; its path led to a designed destination, leaving behind an appreciable smell of blood.
“Want to go stargazing, when we come back?”