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Why Can't I Pick Up Girls?
Chapter Ten: The Mysterious Witch, Elsa

Chapter Ten: The Mysterious Witch, Elsa

As days went on as we traveled, and I slept easier, my temper cooled down. I don’t know if Hoodah even noticed my mood changes but even if he didn’t, then even better for me. Though my temper cooled down, I still felt pretty angry and it annoyed me that I couldn’t remember why. The only thing I remember was I just knew I wanted to keep my thoughts private. I didn’t want people to go through my thoughts, especially when I sleep.

Though, as I thought this, the wind blew through us again and I could hear a familiar whisper.

“Avoid Daisy Umbra.”

A familiar voice echoed against the wind and I could feel myself get mad all over again. I didn’t want to avoid her. I wanted to find her again to get answers. Most especially, I want to ignore that voice. I remember the annoyance I had before but it left with the wind. Maybe it would be easier if she knew a troll who actually knew how to use magic. Was that even possible? I tried to imagine someone like Hoodah trying to create magic with a frilly pink dress and a stereotypical wand. That got me out of my mood and I chuckled for a bit.

Usually, Hoodah tried to fill the quiet with a song that didn’t make a lot of sense to me. I let him sing it so long as I focused more on where we went. Another wind blew through but this time, I didn’t hear that voice. Whether or not anything was said, I was still going to try to find Daisy Umbra - I have many questions and only she can answer it. I’ll take that chance. Even though Hoodah depends on me, let me be selfish. After all, she could help us become human.

By mid-afternoon, we ended up finding a river. From my own assessment, it seemed to be clear. There didn’t seem to be anything strange about it - the fauna around the river banks seemed to be normal nor did I see anything else that would be ‘off’ to me. Hoodah seemed to be suspicious at first but also seemed to determine that the water was safe. He didn’t even look at me, even though I looked at him, and he immediately started to cup the water and was about to start drinking when we both heard something out of the blue.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you two,” cried out a voice. For some reason, this voice surprised me. It was clear as a bell, like Daisy’s, but it sounded nothing like her. It was a bit more feminine than hers but it was clearly of someone else. We both turned around and we were surprised at the figure before us.

A human woman. She was fairly tall for a human and she had black skin. Her long, green hair blew against the wind but even I could tell that it was still fairly long. Her lips were pretty red which I assumed to be makeup, something that’s familiar to me, and her red lips were in a teasing smile. Her light blue piercing eyes seemed to go right through us even though we didn’t know why we shouldn’t drink out of it. Time seemed to stop as we both gazed at this beauty before us.

She saw that our bodies were trolls and yet she crossed her arms and spoke to us. Her clothes were a bit torn and tattered and seemed to be patched up by random scraps of clothing she’d be out on her own for a while. It’s not as torn and tattered as some of the humans I’ve seen, but enough for me to notice.

“Why?” I asked. I don’t know why we froze as we saw this human stand so proudly but we did. Hoodah kept the cupped water close to his lips. “It’s just water. Nothing seems weird about it - it’s not teal.”

“It’s the Crystal Canal. If you want to turn into grey and purple crystal trolls, go right ahead.”

“The Crystal Canal…?”

“Hm, you trolls probably never left your villages, have you?” She seemed to smile and laugh a bit at our expense. “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so rude. It’s just… interesting to me that you know about the Teal Channel, but not the Crystal Canal. Don’t worry, I’ll explain it to you!

“The Crystal Canal is a river that has properties to turn things and creatures into crystals if you drink enough. You don’t see any of those crystals because eventually, the fauna around this particular area grew a resistance to it. However, I don’t think you trolls are used to such magical water. That’s why I want to warn you. Your bodies probably won’t be able to handle it.”

She pointed out the area as she explained and now that she pointed it out, it seems that a particular area of grass did have some form of crystallization around it. Upon seeing it, I immediately slapped the water of Hoodah’s hands. He hissed in pain and grunted as he shook the pain away but the droplets of water that landed on the fauna under him turned into small crystals. Hoodah just as surprised and even backed away from it.

“What the hell?” I managed to grunt out. “How do you know this?” I turned back to the black woman who seemed more and more amused. She had a hand that covered her mouth and she laughed. Was this a game to her? I couldn’t even properly register my frustration until she finally spoke again.

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“What a wise choice you’ve made. You two are very entertaining to me. I’m Elsa.” She reached out her hand towards me and I managed to get a closer look at her. She wore fingerless gloves which were also tattered. It seemed she tried to patch it up with random pieces of clothing or otherwise. I didn’t quite trust her and neither did Hoodah - we didn’t say anything. She then retracted her hand - perhaps she realized how she came off to us. She balled up her hand and brought it back to herself. She dropped her hand from her mouth and cleared her throat.

Another wind blew through her long green hair. It was a unique color I had never seen a human have. I don’t think Hoodah had ever seen such a woman either as he was also silent. She let out a sigh as her piercing blue eyes darted all over the place. Her smile dropped when her eyes finally met mine again - she seemed to realize that I was the leader of this two-troll party.

“Fine. I’ll tell you the truth. My name is Elsa Dewbrand, and I’m a witch.”

Both Hoodah and I were silent for a few more moments. She stood there with an unwavering as she waited for a reaction from either of us. I could tell she furrowed her brow as she waited for a reaction. Finally, I looked at Hoodah. Hoodah grunted silently as he tried to push me to talk to her. I was surprised that I already fit into the leadership role almost seamlessly. Perhaps since this whole thing was my idea, it was more fitting. And yet...

I didn’t know how to react.

Should we give her our names since she gave us hers?

The woman witch took a step back. I could tell that our silence scared her. When I stood up, I could tell she was getting ready to position herself to fight. Even though she’s tall for a human witch, I was still in a troll’s body. I still towered over her and she probably had a million thoughts in her head. Maybe she realized that it was a mistake to introduce herself. Maybe she realized it was a bad idea to make jokes about our lives. But there’s a reason why we met on this day - she’s the key to our success. That’s the impression I was getting.

“My name is Ayagi,” I grunted our usual etiquette. Hoodah immediately followed suit.

“Hoodah.” He grunted almost in tandem.

Elsa relaxed her pose and seemed to be relieved. The more I look at her, the more I realized that her hair wasn’t washed. She seemed to have scars and burns on her body that were fresh and she tried to use her tattered clothing to hide them. Her blue eyes relaxed as she blinked frantically. She didn’t know what to do with my height. I’m sure she didn’t expect me to be this tall when I sat down and I was hunched over.

“Ayagi… Hoodah. Interesting names.” Her cool attitude didn’t seem to waver even though her stance wildly changed to a calmer stance. I wondered if she realized she could be comfortable around us. “Where are you fellas heading to? You know you’re dangerously close to an Ethereal shrine in the forest.”

“Ethereal?” Hoodah grunted out. “What are those?”

Elsa didn’t seem too pleased about the question but then again, I wasn’t too surprised. All the trolls ever knew was whatever their shaman told them. However, she answered his question anyway. Not like I could anyway because there’s no way I could explain something like that.

“Ethereals are higher beings than the Gods and Goddesses. They are born from the Ethereal River - they know the past, present, and what will be.”

“Wait,” Hoodah interrupted, “there’s more than one God? I thought there was only Klezor, the Orc God of Power.”

“No, there’s a lot more Gods and Goddesses out there. But the Ethereals are higher than them. So even precious Klezor would have to bow to Them.” Even though Elsa was being frank, I can see that Hoodah was offended. Up until recently, I also thought there was only Klezor. And then I remembered a dream that occurred days ago. But I didn’t say anything. “In any case, you trolls need to be careful, especially with that Crystal Canal. If you’re looking for water to drink, you can follow me and I’ll bring you to the Grenwater Tributary.”

“Well wait,” I said as Hoodah started to walk. I stopped him. I stuck out my arm and prevented him from continuing further. “How do I know you’re not leading us to our deaths? Do you have any humans waiting for us back there?”

Elsa immediately started to laugh. “There’s no way there are any humans back there. Trust me, there’s absolutely no way!” I could’ve sworn I heard her start crying as she laughed but both Hoodah and I looked at each other in confusion and for Hoodah especially, worry. “No way! No way! There’s no way!” She continued to laugh with a weird mix of crying. It seemed that she was laughing harder and trying to avoid crying more as it went along.

“Uh, you don’t have to laugh that hard,” Hoodah said. “These are valid concerns, you know.”

Soon, she tried to control her laughing as I saw some tears drip out. Maybe those tears were from the laughter but something in my head said it wasn’t. We didn’t know how long we stood there until she stopped laughing finally. Once she did, she tried her best to catch her breath. “Sorry, I’m sorry, I-I don’t mean to laugh at you like this…! No. No… I’m not laughing at you!”

We both were confused as she did her best to calm down further. She soon calmed down and had to sit on the ground to help that. Hoodah and I continued to stand - she might be laughing now but we really should be more cautious around her for now.

Eventually, she stopped laughing and took a huge breath in and finally seemed to relax. She remained seated as she looked up at us. She gave me the impression of a mischievous child rather than a witch. Then again, I don’t know what she was planning.

“No… I’m not laughing at you. The truth of the matter is, if I am at a particular settlement of witches, they might want to hang me.”

I could hear Hoodah give a gasp of shock but I tried to remain quiet. It’s a serious accusation after all. “Why? What happened?”

“I’m accused of killing a human, worse yet. A troll hunter.”

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