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Why Can't I Pick Up Girls?
Chapter Eight: The Human Plan

Chapter Eight: The Human Plan

“What happened after that?” I asked softly. I could tell that telling this story drained his energy, or what was left.

“The attack was brutal. They came back with multiple heads and I don’t know if Camilla was ever part of them. But… at least that red-headed woman wasn’t. I… want to believe that she got away somehow. They never let me get to see who they killed that day - it was part of that Bajin’s success as a raid leader so I wasn’t able to get to see if they got her.

“And that’s when I decided to become a vegetarian. It took me a month to get myself to like this, but if they killed that red-haired human or Camilla… I should at least honor her memory and continue her passion for vegetables! It’s tough though. I’ve been on this diet for a month and already I look like this. Pretty sad, huh?” Hoodah laughed bitterly as he grunted.

“What gave you the idea to run away?”

“It’s because I’ve had enough. They’ve tried their best to drag Xia’s name and it got to me when I heard it from our shaman that Bajin said I tried to disrupt the mission.” He grunted with anger as he continued. “At that point… with the Day of Picking coming soon, I had enough. I volunteered to be on the lookout again for some random mission and I hid. I hid from them and I’m glad I did! And, well, that’s where you came in.”

“They wouldn’t miss us, wouldn’t they?” I saw Hoodah’s eyes glare at me through the fire between us and then he grunted in defeat. I felt a bit uncomfortable but I tried not to react. So, I looked down.

“What’s your story, Ayagi? Sure, you got the star mark on your belly but tell me. You seem like a decent enough hunter. You’re big and strong… nothing like me.”

I stayed silent as I brought my eyes back to Hoodah whose own eyes seemed to glitter with weird energy. It already seemed that Hoodah admired me and was just as curious about my story. With hesitation, I opened up to him. I even told him about Daisy and what happened with my father’s death. When Hoodah mentioned the translation, I wondered how Daisy knew the troll language - she spoke to me almost fluently and it made me wonder why she was able to speak. I didn’t question it back then; I was too wrought with grief. Was this what they also taught witches at that age?

As expected, Hoodah was surprised that I kept Daisy a secret for such a long time and he didn’t seem to understand why my mother treated me that way, even for a troll. Some parts were harder to tell than others but I did feel a little better after I did so. I let out a breath and Hoodah seemed to think about it for a little bit.

The only things I didn’t tell him was my memories and the fact that the shaman wanted to kill me if I ever got them back. That’s something I wanted to keep close to my heart. Even though Hoodah ran away from his tribe, he still grew up in the troll culture. Would he even understand me? Would he leave me alone if I told him this strange thing? I may not have been anyone particularly special in the past, before this world, but it's pretty unusual to be someone like me. Sure enough, he seemed to understand that much - I kept a secret that my father protected a human witch and died for it.

That was a big enough sin as it was.

“Interesting…What are you planning to do now? Surely, you can’t be wandering aimlessly around these forests for long. After all, our kind roams these forests for territory and others they can take advantage of… Though maybe in our case, they’ll try to find us to kill us.”

I laugh bitterly. “Well, I had this notion… of becoming human.”

This made Hoodah’s eyes widen a bit. He was stunned silent.

“Think about it, Hoodah. What better way to hide under our people’s noses than to be human?”

“Do you realize that trolls hunt humans? Did you forget about that?”

“No, hear me out! Hear me out,” I could hear how scared Hoodah was. He was already weak because he had been a ‘vegetarian’ for a month. I’m pretty scared myself because I’m shocked at my own sudden idea but I’m already too far into it to stop now. “No… I would go to the humans for help. I would go to the bigger towns of humans. They could protect me and by extension… you.”

This seemed to perk his attention even more. He surprisingly stayed silent. “As you know, our troll bodies aren't meant to be ‘vegetarians’; we’re meant to eat meat. Maybe if you become human with me, you can survive better and maybe you can look for this Camilla. You said it yourself that you hadn’t seen her head when they brought the others in.”

“What makes you so sure that she’s not part of it?” I don’t know how I could hear his whispers behind the fire’s crackles.

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“I… I don’t know. But being human will give you more freedom to search for her and to be with her. Maybe she and the red-headed woman are the same.”

“Do you really think we can do that?”

“We live in a world of witches, don’t we? I’ve seen it with my own eyes that they can move the earth to bury the dead. Couldn’t they change species to species as well?”

Hoodah seemed to consider it for a little bit. The idea wasn’t a bad one when I thought about it a bit more. After all, I’m a human disguised as a troll. My previous life showed me that there are things that humans did would be considered monstrous, but as a troll, I already knew that. And yet, even though I was shown these awful things, I still feel in my heart that humans can be kind and wonderful. Even though I’m as cruel as an average troll, in the end, I’m a human.

A human that once had access to all sorts of information… Suddenly, I realized I was speaking the first thing that came to my mind again.

“Plus, humans can have access to multiple sources of information! If this world evolves, maybe our descendants could come up with the Internet!”

Hoodah gave me a strange look but seemed to contemplate everything else I said. Honestly, I surprised myself as well. The ‘Internet’? Was that something the past me enjoyed? Just thinking about the ‘Internet’ made me feel a bit excited so it must’ve but the current me can’t seem to wrap my head around it. However, I looked back at Hoodah on how he felt about the human plan.

We were probably going to stick together for a long time so I need Hoodah to accept this plan. Maybe if I’m human, I can no longer be an outsider. Maybe if he’s human, he wouldn’t continue to harm his body. Maybe he would be helped… Maybe the humans’ information could help him with this ‘vegetarian’ lifestyle, although it seemed that humans could live just on that.

“Hm, I still don’t quite get it… It’s a dangerous plan. What if the witch turns against us?”

Oh, I hadn’t thought of that. As my heart thumped against my chest quickly, I thought of an excuse. “W-well, that’s when we crush her! They still look like humans, right? So, we just crush them and move on to the next one! We kill witches every day on the hunt, so it wouldn’t be unusual to just do that.”

“I don’t know, Ayagi,” Hoodah grunted. He still was understandably confused, worried, probably a lot of weirder emotions. I felt nervous even mentioning it to him but it’s the only idea I could think of right now. I don’t see him suggesting anything.

But I grunted to let him continue. There must’ve been an annoyed look on my face but it was hard to tell with the fire crackling in between us. I looked down because I wanted to calm myself down. I could feel myself become excited at the prospect of being… human. Maybe this is my former self wanting a second chance as a human. The memories of the past briefly flashed - like I needed the reminder.

“It’s really dangerous. Plus, once you change species, you can’t go back, right? What if I actually hate being human? What’s worse, what if that red-headed woman rejects me?”

“Then, you can use your experience as a troll before to change her mind. It’s not always hopeless, Hoodah. And she’s a witch! Witches have all kinds of potions and magic! Why wouldn’t they help us change back?”

Hoodah let out a strange mix of grunting and sighing - it almost sounded like growling - but I understood the general feeling.

“Sleep on it. We have a long journey ahead of us.”

“Ayagi, if I don’t decide to become human, then we’ll go our separate ways once we leave these forests. I don’t know where I’ll go but I’m going to tell you right now that I’m not going to forget your strange kindness.”

Hoodah let out a sad laugh. “I don’t want to separate but that idea… that idea is a little too strange to me. I don’t know. Maybe if I listen to you and sleep on it, I’ll change my mind.”

I don’t know, but I smiled. I hope he didn’t see me smile because he already thought of me as strange. But we’re outcasts at this point. Can we really pick and choose who our comrades are? I shook my head at the thought - I don’t think Hoodah and I will separate but there’s still a chance of that happening.

“Fine. If you do decide, then we’ll start looking for a witch as soon as we figure out how to leave this place. It’s too dangerous and we could also run into a troll hunter. So, we should do some rounds to take the watch.”

Hoodah nodded.

“I’ll take the first shift then,” I stated as I stretched my big arms. They really are massive, aren’t they? They’re thick and long and grey, but they’re not long enough to reach the sky. “And you can take the second shift.” I looked back to Hoodah before I got lost in the stars.

I heard Hoodah grunt. “Sounds like a plan then.” I noticed that he then started to get comfortable in the temporary campsite he made. I made him walk a lot so I thought it might’ve been best if I took the first shift. After all, the night time is probably the most dangerous time of all - someone like Hoodah, with his small body and his weak condition, he wouldn’t be able to fight off a human.

Once I was sure Hoodah went to sleep, mostly when I heard strange noises that sounded like snoring coming from his side, I dimmed down the fire to make sure that the smoke wouldn’t entice anything to come after us. Even though I could take maybe one or two on, I’m still only one troll. And if a demon finds us… or worse, a party of troll hunters, then we’re screwed.

But I don’t think there’s anything else out there. The forest is quiet enough but I could still hear some random animal noises and bugs. As long as they don’t come near us, then it should be fine. I kept my hearing focused on the other noises outside but I couldn’t help but toss myself on my back when I was sure we were safe.

The stars… Hoodah mentioned that the troll woman who adopted him had a baby killed. He mentioned his whole original tribe got killed. Did they watch over him this whole time? Did my father watch over me this whole time?

If my former self were allowed to pass on, would they be up there as well? Had I never found out who I was before, would I find myself in this situation? Would I end up with…?

I sighed. I still had so many questions about everything. Maybe my mind is muddled from Hoodah’s story. Maybe I’m still trying to figure out this human plan or just being a human. These weren’t questions that two trolls just weren’t equipped to answer on their own.