Thyssa walked through Lili’s garden, so much more vibrant and colourful through human eyes. Fat red flowers basked in the sunlight, embraced by creeping blue vines. Little golden flowers shot up through the dark soil.

“I’m in a beautiful place, mom,” Thyssa whispered to herself.

She listened to the silence, until it was suddenly broken. A wet munching of leaves. Something was eating the garden – eating Lili’s sanctuary. What beast would have such audacity? Curiosity stirred in Thyssa’s heart.

Thyssa crept towards the sound. From behind the cover of a sparkling teal bush, she spied it. A rabbit, plump and white. She felt a hollowness in her stomach. She hadn’t had meat since her transformation, and the crops Lili fed her didn’t completely satisfy. Here was a chance to truly sate her hunger, all while protecting Lili’s precious garden.

She prepared to attack. Three…two…one…

She sprang towards the beast. A rabbit was a creature of great agility, but so was Thyssa. Even as a girl, she retained her vicious instinct and serpentine reflexes. She chased the rabbit around the garden as it dashed away. It ran into a thick violet fern, but Thyssa had found her prey and it couldn’t hide from her. Without hesitation, she thrust a hand into the fern and seized the rabbit.

It writhed and scratched at her, but she was the stronger animal and she would not let go after such a chase. She grabbed it with her other hand, stretching out its plump body. Then, in one sudden, ruthless gesture, she snapped its neck, killing it instantly. The beast became meat, and she tore into it, fur and all. It was what her mind and body craved.

“What are you doing?”

Lili’s voice was cold with horror, face contorted with disgust.

“It was eating your garden,” explained Thyssa, wiping the blood staining her mouth.

“That doesn’t mean you can kill it!”

“Then how do I protect your garden?”

“Leave that to me. I understand the balance of nature.” Lili stared at her. “Drop it!”

“It is already dead. I don’t want to waste its meat.”

“Humans don’t eat meat.”

“But I’m –”

“I said drop it!”

Thyssa dropped the corpse to the earth, shrinking back. “I have…done wrong?”

“Yes.” Lili said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I am sorry.”

Lili sniffed. “At least you’re ashamed of yourself.” She sighed. “Really, this is on me. I’ve failed to teach and discipline you properly. You’re even less human than I thought.”

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“I am sorry.”

“Come with me. I’m going to wash you off, and then you and I are going to have a conversation about empathy, young lady.”

Over several months, Lili taught Thyssa about empathy, about other creatures having feelings. It mostly sounded like things Thyssa already knew combined with rules that would have never made sense for a malform – don’t eat other animals (you wouldn’t eat at all), trust those around you (you would be eaten), always say hello to humans (they would panic and probably kill you).

Thyssa wondered if these rules made much more sense for a human than they did for a malform. After all, Lili was a recluse – it didn’t seem like she’d dealt with many humans herself.

Her doubts aside, though, Thyssa was able to understand the concepts. So, between what she already understood and what she had assimilated from Lili, she was able to get all the Right Answers on Lili’s tests.

“Is something troubling you, Thyssa?”

“It’s just…what you’ve been saying. That malforms don’t have empathy.”

“Not naturally. That’s why I’m teaching you.”

“I remember when I was a kid. I wandered in search of food, in search of love. Every human I met ran off.”

Lili looked down. “I said humans have empathy. We don’t always use it. I’m sorry.”

“But someone did. A malform. The Ogre Queen. She took me in, fed me, raised me.”

“The Ogre Queen. I’ve studied that one from afar. It is…different.”

“She has empathy.”

“It has something. Something drives it to collect malforms to care for.”

Thyssa narrowed her eyes. “Not empathy?”

“No…I think it’s a way of processing self-loathing. It feels pathetic, so it looks for creatures more pathetic than itself. Raises them to look up to it.”

Thyssa winced. “You think I’m pathetic.”

“No, honey. I’m just trying to get into its head. That’s my whole job.”

“I want to go back to her. Someday. When I’m ready.”

“Are you not happy here?”

“No, I am…but…she must be so worried.”

Lili shook her head. “You’re replaceable to it. Less than that. You’re a girl now. A very pretty one.” She brushed a stray lock of hair from Thyssa’s brow. “She wouldn’t want a lovely thing like you around. It would just make her all the more bitter.”

“That’s…that’s not true! You’re wrong about her.”

“Perhaps not everyone would agree with my assessment. But you would. I can tell.”

“No!”

“It’s very sweet of you to try and defend it. But be honest with me. If you thought it would still want you, why didn’t you tell it where you were going?”

“She forbade me from going here.”

“Oh. Funny that. She kept you away from the one person who could make you human.”

“She wanted to keep me safe! She’s afraid of you. Just like you’re afraid of her.”

Lili sighed. “I’m not telling you this to hurt you. Quite the opposite. I don’t want you to be attached to someone who doesn’t love you back.” Lili looked down. “As long as you continue this path with me, she’ll never take you back. You know that, don’t you?”

“We don’t know that.”

“Oh, if you really beg, maybe she’ll let you stay a night in her nest. But if you want to stay, there’ll be a condition. One little condition.” Thyssa flinched as Lili hooked a finger under the necklace. “Give up your humanity. Then you can be her pathetic little baby again. You can be gross and ugly and hate yourself, and she’ll be right there to console you about it.”

Thyssa imagined the Ogre Queen forgiving her for running away, taking her back in with open arms. It felt only half-real, like back when she was hungry and she used to daydream about eating her way through a mountain of rich meat. Thyssa wanted to have faith that Lili was wrong, that her horrible words weren’t true, but it didn’t come. Did she still lack the part of people that could love and trust without doubt? Or was it just that her life hadn’t given her any memory to support that faith? She was broken, and she didn’t even know how or why, and as soon as she went back to her body, she found it had broken down crying without her.

Lili brought her into a tight hug. “Don’t worry, Thyssa. You have me now.”

“Can I…really trust you?”

“Of course you can. I promise I’ll take good care of you. I’m your mom now.”

Thyssa nodded, praying that Lili would keep her promise.