Fritz, Marcelle and Ada stood atop the walls. They had taken up a spot near the gatehouse. Standing in the shadows, a group of guards looked on in confusion trying to decipher what Freyes' champion was doing. Fritz grinned from ear to ear admiring his newest invention. The Coehorn mortar was small. The thick iron barrel was embedded into a wooden platform with handles. Its was short barely passing two feet, looking like a cannon for children. The mortar was easily maneuverable, small and would serve as the perfect weapon for explosive shots filled with holy water. Fritz felt an almost paternalistic pride looking over the archaic weapon.

"I don't get it. Is it a portable toilet?" Ada asked. She kicked the iron mortar, rocking the wooden platform.

"It's not a toilet." Fritz moaned. "Stop saying that, and don't kick it."

"I don't get it."

"It's like this!" He pointed the shotgun resting on his shoulder. "It's the same principle!" The blonde wolfkin pulled back frowning.

"Your pretty dumb Fritz. Your 'shotgun' looks nothing like the toilet. It's small and bloated, like a frog."

"It's clearly some deformed cauldron." Marcelle added with a smug grin. "Behold witness the champion's amazing weaponry! Surely this city shall be saved once we throw the cauldron over the walls!"

"It is not a cauldron! Stop saying that! A mortar, much like any firearm or cannon, is just a hunk of iron that is meant to contain and direct the explosive force propelling the shot. That's all it is! It is not a toilet!" Fritz stared at Ada, daring her to challenge him. "It is not a cauldron!" He moved his gaze towards the lamia.

"Clearly it is not a proper cauldron. I had no doubt about that. It is however pointless and the work of a delusional man with a hero complex." Marcelle said while inspecting her long purple nails.

"Your one to talk about delusion, Marcelle." Fritz said crossing his arms.

"Whatever do you mean? The man pretending to be a hero calling other's delusional? I don't quite understand."

"I don't get it. How is this your special weapon?" Bending down she stuck her head into the barrel to look down.

"Ada! Get your head out of the mortar!" She pulled her head out looking towards Fritz in confusion.

"Why?" She asked. "Is it enchanted? Does it shoot fireballs? Does it do something? It's just sitting there, looking stupid."

"No-actually yes. It shoots fireballs! It shoots fireballs, so get your head out of the barrel!" Fritz lied as he grabbed her shoulder shoving her away from danger.

"But nothing is happening." Ada whined and kicked the barrel again. "Make it do something."

"We'd lose nothing if she got hit by the fireball. Both of you don't use your brains anyways."

"Pffft. Who needs 'smarts' when I got this bad boy!" Ada jumped onto a stone merlon brandishing her enchanted rapier in the air. The onyx blade consumed the sunlight. Its sharp edge promised pain and death in equal measure to her enemies.

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"Blood! Give me his blood!" The rapier seethed. "Kill the man. Kill him now."

"Does it ever shut up?" Fritz started rubbing his temples. The onset of a headache seemed inevitable with his companions nearby.

"No. Not really." Ada said with a shrug. "Just ignore it."

"Thank the heavens, I do not also suffer." Marcelle said.

"Whatever. Let's load it and shoot." Fritz rubbed his temple harder. The warm morning sun, had tickled at the back of his thick hair. His blue eyes surveyed the land outside of Hueryss looking for any beastkin in the plains below the walls.

"Finally! You promised us explosions!" Ada whined. "I wanna see the fireball."

"He's lying, Ada. It's not enchanted. I cannot sense any magic emanating from it. It's just a mundane hunk of iron."

"Fritz!" Ada whined.

"Gimme a minute. You'll see. We're gonna have to mark out our distances though."

"Why?" Ada asked.

"So we know when the enemy is in range of the mortar. Like an archer?" The two girls looked at him like he was stupid. A small contingent of guards were stealthily watching Fritz work. They pretended to watch the horizon for signs of the approaching enemy, yet Fritz felt their persistent gaze when he wasn't looking.

"Hey! You come here!" Fritz yelled out. "I need someone to help me out!" Fritz commanded a guard.

After explaining to the guard what he needed, Fritz sent him out to the field below with a bundle of markers. Fritz looked out over the plain of grass outside of Hueryss. No beastkin were in the fire zone below. Conjuring a cartridge of gunpowder, Fritz started the process of shoving it down the bore with his rammer.

"See it's a cauldron he's shoving reagents down it." Marcelle said with a twisted smile. Her tail whipped around excitedly waiting for Fritz to take the bait. Yet Freyes' champion was not one to rise to every challenge.

"All right, now let's hope it doesn't explode and kill us." He said triumphantly, as he removed the ramrod.

"The toilet is not killing me." Ada commented. "I refuse to die from an enchanted toilet. If I die it will be a warrior's death."

"Please, you're gonna choke on a steak." Marcelle replied.

"Say's the witch who's gonna drink the wrong potion one day." Ada said as she jumped down from the merlon back onto the wall's walkway.

"I'm a genius. I don't make mistakes."

Fritz rolled his eyes as he pulled out his linstock. Shooing the beastkin away from the mortar, he prepared to use the weapon. Making sure the match was lit, he placed it into the mortar's touch hole.

"Fire in the hole." Fritz shouted. The powder took. Ada and Marcelle jumped alongside all the guards secretly watching Fritz work. The explosion ripped through the bore of the mortar, catapulting the solid iron shot into the air. He watched the iron ball sail its high arc overhead. Fritz yelled to the guard below directing him to mark the location.

"Not bad. Good distance. The mortar didn't explode either." Fritz commented dryly.

"That wasn't that impressive." Ada said. "How's that supposed to kill a vampire? Are they gonna stay put?" Fritz turned woodenly towards Ada.

"Clearly this is just a distraction for our archers."

"The shell...." Ada looked at him like an idiot. Fritz could feel a part of his soul die looking at the lack of intelligence in her eyes. "The shell, ya'know the part that came out of the barrel?" Fritz asked. Ada nodded. "We're gonna put a fuse in it, and it's gonna explode and spew holy water over the battlefield."

"Oh.... I get it now! It's gonna blow up!"

"Then we're gonna put some cannons in the guard house over there." Fritz pointed to the guard house near the gate. "I have a feeling you'll like them more. They have a certain... je nes sais quoi about them."

"Hmm.... Will you operate these yourself? It took a while for you to even load this secret weapon. It hardly seems effective. We had better flee." Marcelle pointed out.

"No, I won't be doing it all by myself. We're gonna enlist the guards. It should be archaic enough that they won't do too much damage even if they try. And we're not running away Marcelle."

"So you say... for now...."

Fritz adjusted the angle of his mortar. Cleaning out the bore, he prepared his next shot. Over and over they tested the effective range of the mortar. Fatigue tugged at the back of his mind, yet Fritz pushed through. Marcelle and Ada watched over him as he worked, until the captain of the guards himself suddenly appeared. Gaspard hailed the champion of Freyes, with an annoyed expression as he exited the guard house. His subordinates snapped to attention as he passed by. With single minded-purpose he marched across the walls towards Fritz.