Somehow, I managed to get the hang of it. Standing in the lake up to my knees, I covered myself in flames and my underwear didn’t burn. Even with excitement burning through my veins, my underwear remained.

Finally.

Shippa gave me a polite clap, her mood still chipper from her small vacation from me. Apparently, she had family that liked her enough to spend the holiday with her. A foreign concept to me.

“Glad to see after all these weeks you can stay clothed.” She stood, closing her book, and walked over to me. “The next thing we have to work on is your control and precision.” She dug into her pocket and pulled out a flat wooden disk. She threw it up and held out her hand. From her palm, a thin beam of fire shot out. The disc dropped to the ground and as the waves made their way toward it, I saw a single, perfect circle still smoking.

I had to admit, that was cool.

The lanterns were just luck. When I tried to aim the fire burning beneath my skin, it came out in a deluge of heat and flame, turning the sand to glass and evaporating the lake. The test dummy she’d brought out of the carriage was going mostly unharmed.

We stayed at the lake until the sun started to dip, my arms aching from pushing myself a step further than I should have. And I still had training with Enri.

Enri. Just thinking about her giddy face from the festival night made me smile. We stayed on that little platform for the hour of the eclipse before making our way back down to meet up with Lenris and Kejesi. Nicia was already asleep on her back and Jes looked ready to lie down. After pushing through for another thirty minutes, Jes decided he needed to sleep. He gave me a long hug goodbye, bowed to Enri, and they left.

Enri and I made our way back to the clearing and stayed there until sunrise. Thankfully, we weren’t expected to do anything that day either and spent our time napping.

That was all I wanted to do after training. Take a long nap. Maybe two. When we got into the carriage and it pulled away, I drifted off before I even realized it, jolting awake when it came to an abrupt halt. As always, Enri was waiting to escort me to the training field. She and Shippa exchanged a nod before we made our way over.

“Are you okay?”

I yawned, stretching. “Yeah, I’m just tired. We moved on to precision work and I’ve never been all that precise.”

She looked concerned, but more than that, a little excited. “Why don’t we skip training today?”

“Enri, I asked you not to go easy on me.”

“I know, I know.” She held her hands up. “And we’ll even run some drills tonight if it’ll make you feel better. I just wanted you to come to the library with me. I finally know what the fifth point on the star is.”

“Oh! What is it?”

“Let’s go. I wanna show you everything.” We made our way to the library, my steps sluggish and hers brisk.

At her usual table were the stacks of books I was used to seeing, but there was also a board pressed against the wall. Likely pulled from a classroom, she covered it in the ritual diagram that we’d use to change me. Her free hand was perfect, and it looked damn near like a picture. This was the first time I’d seen it up close, only catching glances from her books otherwise. There were three circles nested in each other. The first, and largest, had the prime alchemical symbols evenly spaced through. The second had the elemental alchemical symbols, and the third was lined with eleven that seemed familiar, but I couldn’t place, and one I did know. The only thing missing was the star.

“Do you understand what you’re looking at?”

“Kind of. Alchemical symbols seem to be universal, but I’m not familiar with all of them.”

I hopped up on the table as she stood in front of the board and started to explain. “The chemical symbols on the first ring are of the mind, body, and soul. The second ring has the symbols for each of the elements. The last ring are the ingredients that make up a human.” She paused. “Ornus humans,” she clarified. “I don’t know what Earthlings are made of.”

“I do.” And my teachers said retaining information from anime was a useless skill. “I just don’t know what these symbols mean. Except that one. I don’t know if you have the zodiac here, but that’s a symbol for Aquarius where I’m from.”

“We don’t have a zodiac.” She seemed to have trouble forming the word. It wasn’t often, but sometimes I would say something I knew didn’t translate and I could hear just a faint accent as they repeated it back to me. It sounded like a harsh mix of Slavic and Latin. “That one means multiplication. Something very different from arithmetic.”

“Right. And what about the star?”

“That’s just the thing. As you know, all magic is give and take. This circle is just a conduit to help take the pressure off of me and pull from nature itself. But since this process is so delicate and high risk—even for you—it won’t work with just that. I have to make myself the fifth point. The elements are boundless and if that was all magic took, anyone could be a mage or a sorcerer.”

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“I don’t see what the excitement is about then. Couldn’t doing this kill you?”

“Yes, and no. If I didn’t take the proper precautions, then yes. But if I do, then it won’t be a problem. The summoning circle was similar, but I knew what to do at the time. If I hadn’t figured this out, there’s a good chance both of us would have died.”

“Forana really came through for us,” I said, studying the board. “Is there anything I need to do?”

“Just be there,” she said, hopping up next to me. “As long as we continue your training and strengthen your body as much as we can, you’ll be just fine. You’ve mastered the basics of most of the elements and just need to hone in on fire. You’ve almost mastered terra with how much you use it,” she said, laughing. “I’m sure Iljana is pissed about it.”

“Anything I do pisses that man off.” To this day, he had yet to have anything nice to say about me. I even seemed to ruin his mood just by existing in the same room. It was funny.

“You know, I haven’t heard—”

Someone cleared their throat behind us. We turned to see Sanus and Turja behind us. They looked a little nervous. “Sorry to intrude, Madams.”

“What do you need?” Enri asked. She stood to face them, and I stayed on the table, kicking my feet and leaning my head back. After sitting down, all I wanted to do was sleep. Maybe I would take Enri up on her offer to skip training today.

“His Majesty requests an audience with you,” Sanus said.

“Both of you,” Turja said. “He’s in his war room.”

I let out a groan. “The sun’s already set. What could he want?”

“Thank you for telling us. You may leave.” They gave us quick bows before scurrying out. “Let’s go, Kaiya.”

It took more effort than I cared to admit to get off the table, but I made it. The halls were mostly silent, only a few servants wandering and finishing their duties for the night. They stopped and bowed when they saw us and kept it pushing.

The war room was the same room I’d debriefed in after my shitty camping trip with Noram, but they had moved the table to the side. Zann was standing in the back talking to Vanli, who was rocking some gnarly new scars on her neck and chin. Eumen had told me as soon as Vanli returned today that she had new scars to show off. They looked fresh, stitches still obvious, but it looked like Enri had gotten a chance to heal her. If that was what it looked like after, I couldn’t imagine the before.

A few more soldiers lined the room, the two personal guard soldiers I recognized (Denma and Sighlu, I needed to remember that) were standing on either side of Zann and Vanli while the rest lined the walls.

“Zann,” Enri said. “Is there an emergency to be calling on us so late in the evening?”

“A bit of one, yes,” he said. There was something…off about him. There was something sharper about the way he held himself, but I couldn’t place it. If only I wasn’t so damn tired. “I just had a question for the both of you. A simple yes or no.” He gestured with one hand and a door I hadn’t noticed opened.

At first, I didn’t understand what I was seeing. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. First an elbow, then a foot, then another, then the hilt of a dagger, the shine of the blade, and then my sister. A guard dragged her into the room, a dagger pressed to her throat, her mouth gagged. Not just any dagger. Her dagger. The one Forana gave her after she’d completed her own training.

There wasn’t time for me to say anything, or even move or emote before Zann said, “Be still.” His voice felt like ice running over me, and then I couldn’t move. I could barely even blink. Even the magic I’d spent so long mastering felt like it had frozen in my veins. The grin on his face was laced with cruelty. This was the first time his mask had ever truly fallen, and it made me want to throw up. “Your king speaks.

“My question,” he said. “Is if either of you knows this woman?”

I couldn’t answer. Even if I wasn’t frozen, I couldn’t take my eyes off of Sayla. She was battered and bruised. Her right eye was swollen and blackened, her lips were split in several spots and there was dried blood running down her temple. From the way she was being dragged, her legs weren’t much better, and her arms were covered in bruises, scrapes, and cuts. There was a distinct pattern around her arms where a rope had been tied too tight.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Zann moved forward and took the dagger from the guard, who bowed and stepped aside as Zann took her place. He pressed the dagger so hard against her skin I could see blood start to drip. And I was useless to stop it.

“You see, when we went to Feral, I had a feeling that something had changed. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I could tell something happened. Call it a hunch because you could have been an actor in another life. And a great assassin. The way you managed to disappear so often, despite having some of my best spies follow you. Terra really is your strong suit, however attuned you are to the others.

“I wanted to brush it off as you not wanting to be followed, something you’ve made abundantly clear. But I couldn’t shake the feeling. So, I had to wait until the eclipse. I bet you didn’t know, but a sorcerer has an inherent moment of weakness corresponding to our three major festivals. You wouldn’t have noticed, of course, that I’d had sent away to Feral to retrace your magic, because as strong as you are, you can’t hide your signature. Which led me to her. The resemblance is uncanny. Sisters, I’m assuming.”

He moved the dagger along her neck until it pointed under her chin, forcing her head up. No matter how injured, she looked pissed. It was the only thing giving me a bit of hope. Maybe there was something that we could do. I prayed there was something we could do.

His jovial tone turned sour as he slid his eyes to her, pushing the dagger harder. “I need no distractions, Kaiya, and a guarantee you’re the only one. I need to win this war.” With one swift move, he placed the dagger to her throat again and pulled. Blood flowed like a waterfall down her chest, staining her shirt with a dark red. There was a gurgle, like she was trying to speak, and then her blood sprayed. I could feel her blood speckle my face and hands and I was still frozen. I couldn’t even cry.

As she began to drop, he grabbed a fistful of her hair and slashed through it.

“I’m lucky enough to share a culture with His Majesty.”

Sayla fell bodily to the floor, her blood pooling beneath her as her eyes met mine. He threw her hair at my feet, grinning as he said, “I’m not cruel. Release.”

I went to her, ignoring everyone else in the room. I went to take off her gag, but she started to bring her hands up. Her hands were shaking, but as the light began to fade from her eyes, she signed twice and then laid still.

I love you.

I’m sorry.