Waking up was not a problem. While my family was not poor, that doesn’t mean I didn’t work, in fact work was nothing new to me, and a by product of working on a farm was waking up very early. I woke up much earlier than I should have. Looking around I surveyed my newly stocked room. After dinner yesterday We had been brought back to the same hall with the closet I had gotten my first robes from. And we’d gone down the hall getting various supplies from different halls. In the end, we had all been given 2 pairs of plain robes like the ones I had been wearing already making my total 3, my normal tunics were more of a brown off-white. Along with that, I got one last tunic which was much thicker wool to keep me warm during winter, I wouldn’t use that one for a while. In addition, I was given 3 sets of socks to go with new leather boots to wear instead of the sandals. To go with all of my clothes I was given two bags to hold everything one for my clothes and another for the other items that I was given. In my second bag, it held a block of soap dually for my clothes and myself, a notebook and pencil for note-taking, and a small sewing kit. And on top of my two bags, I was given two woolen blankets. We had then been brought back to our rooms and been told to sleep. I had laid awake for a long time worrying about what was in store tomorrow, but I had eventually drifted to sleep

Now as I sat in bed and stared at my new possessions I had a strong urge to get to work. Everything that I did now to improve would directly help me in the future when I got to become an acolyte.

I had given it some thought before this. I hadn’t really wanted to join the church before this but what Antony had said stuck with me, that it was probably my best course of action. They were kind to me and their intentions seemed good. They even offered me an education. Which I probably wouldn’t have gotten If I was still at my old home. With everything that they offered me, they seemed like the best option. With this in mind, I wanted to do the absolute best that I could, hopefully if I did then I would find myself a nice job in the church. So with a jerk I rose out of bed and donned my tunic, wrapping the cord around my waist and slipping my socks and boots on. The only problem was that I didn’t know where Markus was. And I doubted that I could find him, or if I should. I doubted that he would take kindly to having me wake him up. Where could I find out what to do? I only knew how to get to the stable yard, there might be someone there but the chances weren't too high, the showers, which were even less likely to have someone who I needed, and the cafeteria, and it was way too early for anyone to be at the cafeteria. With the only option being the stable yard I stood up and followed the route that I had memorized the day before.

When I arrived It was much quieter unsurprisingly there was nobody there. Damn looks like I would have to wait, until work started, this wasn’t a big surprise but I had wanted to hopefully start early, I was hoping to stand out by doing well and impression my boss. While I didn’t resent my teammates I did want to do better than them, as cynical as that sounds. There’s nothing wrong with being competitive and I was. Sitting down I tried getting comfortable there was no other place I knew to look and I didn’t want to go wandering around. but, going back to sleep would be dumb I might oversleep. As I sit until I hear the bell start ringing.

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Rong Bong Bong Bong and then is stopped. Wow, I had a whole two hours to wait. Even if I couldn’t study I could do something, being idle was never good. What would I need for a school year that would be helpful, that I could work on now? I needed smarts but I can’t work on that now, Looking good wouldn’t hurt, but how would I improve that, the last thing that I could think of was being athletic. I could run around the courtyard which would help with endurance. looking around I stood up. There was still no one here.

After only 3 laps I was dying. It was terrible, my eyes were watering and I couldn’t suck in the air fast enough. Panting I lay down on the ground near the entrance and just breath. I sit there for barely 5 minutes and then I stand back up and start pacing I didn’t know what I was supposed to do to get stronger so I just started walking around then stopped and got down on my stomach. I knew very little when it came to exercise my sum knowledge was about three exercises pushups, planks, and crunches eh something was better than nothing

After a minute of hesitation, I lift myself by the arms and started rising and falling. After only 7 I have to give up, I feel so weak. After my pushups I do a plank, I do onto my elbows and start counting 1…2…3…4…56…57…58…59…60! After a minute I collapse not able to stay up at all. After another minute of just laying there, I get up and start doing crunches. After a minute, I feel much better and thought I could do lots of crunches. I was wrong all of a sudden the fatigue in my core from doing planks came rushing back, and in the span of about 3 crunches, I went from being fine to not being able to do another one. Laying there panting I realized, I was incredibly weak, I thought that it wasn’t so bad and that I was reasonably athletic but after that exercise, if you could even call it that, I realize. I’m a weakling.

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Maybe if I wasn’t a weakling I wouldn’t be where I am now. I remember a scream. I had been in my bed sleeping, and like a knife through butter it cut through the quiet serenity of the night an ear-splitting cry full of terror and pain, and it was terrifying. I sat up groggily and started moving around with a small sense of urgency never thinking it could be any worse than someone getting getting frightened by one of our animals. Or twisting their ankle traveling the road by night, how narrow-minded I had been. Because of that narrow-mindedness they had suffered, and so had many more.

It didn’t matter the details. All I knew was that If I had been stronger things would’ve turned out differently. This pseudo-workout helped give me perspective on my role in everything: nothing, my actions can never really affect anything I just have to follow along. Not being able to do anything but be taken by the church with no other options. I had never wanted to join the church, I had never even thought about it. And I had never wanted to move under these circumstances. I hadn’t wanted any of this!

And yet there was nothing that I could do about any of this, I had just been told to sit around and when they had told me to jump my best and only option was to ask how high. It was infuriating how I couldn’t do anything about my situation. I could feel the hot tears of frustration coming to my eyes. I didn’t know why I was crying, I didn’t even know why I was thinking of all this now, or why I was getting upset. I was upset though and I didn’t feel good, and I knew I never wanted to feel this way again.