Cadivus and his crew had wandered to the outskirts of town, far away from any prying ears or eyes. This new crew was far more attractive than his last one. And they had already made it out of a tavern without a dead body, which was a pretty good start.
“So as we are all aware, we are after a most mischievous hybrid bandit with a harmonica,” Cadivus said.
“Yeah!” Thermia shouted. She folded her arms and nodded.“And with a little luck, You won’t kill your crew this time!”
A look of bewilderment overcame the group. He moaned and rolled his eyes.
She, realizing her error, unfolded her arms. “No, no, no! That’s not what I meant! I mean yes his powers did kill those people, but it completely wasn’t his fault. The harmonica man made him do it. HE MADE HIM!” She grabbed her own mouth and shut it tight.
“Thanks?” Cadivus said. “Yes, this villain has a unique power, and he can apparently make you use your own powers. And believe me when I say, fuck that noise.”
“Cadivus…” Hunter said, a sweet drawl to his voice. “Can I see your hand for just a second?” He removed his own glove and held out his hand too.
Cadivus knew this didn’t make him gay. So he reached out and grabbed Hunter’s hand. Both he and Hunter flinched, he couldn’t move. His face looked as if it was concentrating hard. Or like he was taking a shit. After a few moments, a disgusted look took over his face, and he turned to the rest of the group.
“Okay,” he said. “This guy’s a tad off his rocker, and definitely has blood on his hands, but I can’t say it came from a place of immoral doings.”
“Yeah, I’m a hero,” Cadivus said. “Not a villainous criminal.”
“What did you just do to the loud one?” Ekio asked.
“Well, when I touch someone’s skin I can see all the bad things they’ve done and feel their intent.” Hunter said with a sullen look. “It’s a curse more than anything.”
“Does that mean…” Cadivus said. “Does that mean you saw the hay incident?”
“Yep…” His face cringed. Hard.
“Okay…Moving on.” He shook the shame off his face. “So, what we need is a team of strong individuals, so we can head east, find the demonic harmonic–”
“Oo, nice one, Caddy!” Thermia said, giving him a thumbs up.
He waved back.
“And we must take him into custody, so myself and Thermia, can clear our names. Which is going to be difficult because well, as Thermia shouted earlier, he made me explode last time. And not in the cool way.”
“Wait, wait, wait….” Sparklebutt said. “These two don’t even have weapons?” he pointed at Cadivus and Thermia. “What are you? Wizards or something? Where’s your wand?”
He pursed his lips.
“Oh, I lost my last weapon in a bet,” he pointed toward Ekio. “And she’s being a real blowhard about it.”
“Can’t say this is the best start I’ve ever seen. Then again, I don’t work with others much on account of the death rate being so high.”
“You know, for a guy named Sparklebutt, you really are a downer…”
“Mate, when you’ve seen the things I have you can talk to me about downers. Alls I can say is curiosity has got the better part of my sense here.” He shrugged.
“You know what?” Cadivus said. “Keep that up and you're not gonna learn the secret handshake I have devised. And you're gonna feel real stupid when we’re all doing it and you’re not.”
“Yeah, boy!” Thermia said, waving one hand in the air toward Sparklebutt.
“Gods help me,” Sparklebutt muttered. “She's adorable.”
“Can I see that paper once again, Hunter?” Cadivus asked.
Hunter removed the stack and shuffled through it once more.
“Wait,” he said, standing over his shoulder. “Wait. Go back one…That guy with the long list of crimes. Who is that guy? I’ve never heard of him before.”
Hunter held up the page.
“This here? This is Teavis. Used to be a leader of a village of bandits. This guy has done it all: murder, theft, sodomy, arson, assault, public exposure. A real work-up alright. Worth a fortune if we come across him.”
“I heard he has a massive dick too,” Sparklebutt said.
The group gave him a funny look. “No it’s not that. It's just that I’m…gay.”
“At least the name makes sense now,” Cadivus said. “Fret not friend, I will do my best to not set your loins ablaze.”
Sparklebutt gave him a thumbs up.
Love what you're reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.
Hunter kept rifling through his documents and pulled out the one with the man they were looking for: the leafer with the wicked stache.
“I caught wind of this guy, after coming up here from the south. I must admit, this guy seems to be on a whole other level. Not only is his power extremely dangerous, he’s also known to be a gifted genius. After all, he did plan and execute that plan of ruining your life. A group effort would be better than trying to do this alone.”
“This man has brought ruin to me as well,” Ekio said.
Cadivus leaned toward Thermia and whispered “Back-story incoming…”
“My village was known for having the best medicines. This allowed us to have strong warriors who could train harder than any other and workers who get more done in a day than most can in a week. One day, this man showed up and said he can grow us an herb that would simplify our remedies, reducing many medicines to one plant. But it wasn’t medicine at all! And it just makes you lazy! Soon, we didn’t have enough workers to support the town. The warriors only played. And there was not enough food grown. We were weak!” She held out her arm and rubbed the beads on her wrist up and down with her finger. “Before long, our enemies learned of this, and slaughtered us in a single day.”
Thermia’s eyes welled with tears.
“How did you escape this ruin?” Cadivus asked.
Ekio turned around and exposed a large scar that went all the way across her back, top right to bottom left.
“I do not remember much from that day. All I know is at some point my injuries overtook me, I awoke to the aftermath. If it was not for a passing caravan, I would not be alive this day.” She paused. “So, I come here. To kill this Captain Chronic. Then I will gamble to earn enough money to raise an army of mercenaries and take back my home.”
“Holy fucking shit,” Cadivus said. “I seethe with an angry rage of wrath for you.”
She rolled her eyes.
“I swear on my honor now that once we are done here I will come back with you to help reclaim what you have lost. And hopefully, I’ll also help repopulate your village.”
She slapped him so hard that he fell to the ground.
Thermia fist bumped her.
“In your face, creep!”
“You know what?” Ekio said. “She is adorable, and I love her.” Ekio said.
Sparklebutt nodded.
“Okay,” Hunter said. “So, we need to come up with a plan. We need weapons, we need to learn the location of the man’s farm, and we have to figure out how to defeat him without him using any of our powers against us. Not only that, but because he is a genius we also need counter-measures and plans A B and C. So first things first: weapons. Anyone know where we can get some decent weapons?”
“Yeah,” Sparklebutt said. “I know a place that has lots of weapons a few days from here.”
“And where’s that exactly?”
“The armory in Pribbs.”
“Hold on a minute,” Ekio said. “You want us to break into a city and rob their armory? Might as well just kill ourselves now and save them the trouble.”
“Don’t worry. I have a plan. And I’ll tell you when we get there.”
“I don’t like this one bit…” Hunter said.
“Are you saying this quest of revenge now has a side quest for a heist?!” Cadivus said, standing and dusting himself off. “I’ve never been more down in my entire life! How thrilling!”
He groaned. “Okay. So let’s say that covers weapons. Next we need to be concerned about him using our powers against us. To do that, we need to know what everyone’s powers are, so we can plan around it. You already saw mine, I can read people, but it does make me incapacitated for a few moments. Yours?” He pointed at Sparklebutt.
“Well, I don’t know if you noticed back there. They don’t call me Sparklebutt for nothing. My ass is the cleanest and most perfect ass you can imagine.”
Hunter groaned once more, but then Sparklebutt pulled down his pants and showed them the most marvelous ass they had ever seen.
“Wow. Nice,” Ekio said.
Cadivus crossed his arms. He hoped only a pimple on his left ass cheek was rubbing against his trousers.
“Yeah it's okay if you're into that sort of thing. Perfect male anatomy…”
“That’s not a power…” Hunter remarked.
“Well, besides that, I’m really good with a flail,” Sparklebutt said. “I used to practice all the time at home. It was a watermelon genocide! And, there is a really special one in Pribbs that I surely can’t lose a fight with.”
“Okay. I guess I hoped you were more than human, but that could be good for us too. That just leaves Cadivus and Ekio.”
Ekio stepped back from the group and threw a dagger into a tree. Yet her hair seemingly moved in a gust of wind, and the blade returned to her hand.
“Oh wow,” Cadivus said. “She’s magnetic. That explains the attraction.”
She rolled her eyes, held out her hand and lifted the dead leaves from the ground around her. They formed into a sphere before she released them.
“I didn’t know leaves were metal…”
“How are you this stupid? I can control air currents, so I can push and pull things like the wind does.”
“That’s pretty badass,” everyone else said at once. No jinx was called.
“Hold on a moment,” Cadivus said. “Can you create tornadoes?”
“Why would I do this?”
“Can you fly like a bird?”
“Do you see people flying in the wind? Do people float around when the trees are swaying?” she replied, now irritated.
He thought hard for a moment.
“You know, I thought of something else, but I’m not going to say it out loud.”
“Oh wow! He’s learning to shut up. This is a great day indeed,” Ekio said.
“Okay. I’m guessing Thermia doesn’t have powers,” Sparklebutt asked. “Is that correct?”
“Nope,” she said. “Just a boring and useless betch.”
“That’s not true at all,” Cadivus said. “Thermia has the ability to lift morale and rally the cause. And most importantly, she is a people person. She can make friends with anyone, and that could come in handy.”
She smiled at him.
“Well, that could be good for us,” Sparklebutt said. “She doesn’t have powers, just skills. So this guy can’t use them against us. However, in a fight that would mean she is more vulnerable. Every group needs someone with charisma, I suppose.” He turned toward Cadivus. “So, what’s your power? You can explode things with your mind or what?”
“Umm…Not exactly,” Cadivus replied.
“Well, come on, out with it then,” Ekio said. “We all told you ours.”
He mumbled under his breath.
“I am sorry. Can you open your mouth when you talk?”
“Fire…I’m a fire hybrid.”
“Ugh. That’s lame.” Hunter, Sparklebutt and Ekio said in unison.
“Well, besides torching people around you, can your powers do anything else you can show us?” Hunter asked.
“Pass!” Cadivus shouted.
They all stared at him blankly.
“There are a lot of leaves, and wind, and I’m tired, from totally using my powers all the time which I certainly do…So let’s just move along, shall we?”
Thermia nodded at him and mouthed, “Nice.”
“So, anyways, let’s get on with it shall we? This has been an awful lot of exposition.”
“Alrighty,” Hunter said. “We can head northeast through the forest tonight until the sun sets. The road would only take longer. If we don’t take too many breaks we can be at Pribbs in three days.”
Sparklebutt put on his gloves and wrapped a scarf around his neck.
“I like to wear travel gear,” Sparklebutt said. “Helps get me in the mood.”