Lilau rested her head on the soft black fur of her companion, the rhythmic up and down of his breathing lulling her into a doze. It was peak day, the sun at its zenith in the sky, with a cool breeze and abundant shade cast by the surrounding forest blocking most of the fiery orb’s heat. The warmth that reached her only aided her full stomach in pushing her further into comfort. As her body relaxed, her mind drifted.
This morning had been a good morning. Her nets had gained them a small pile of fish, and between her and Makotae, they had scored no less than three squirrels and two rabbits.
Makotae....
She rolled the name around on her tongue, the sweet taste of her own wolf’s name never seeming to grow stale. It meant “little warrior,” a fitting moniker for the pup who had refused to lie down and die.
It had been a full moon since he had accepted her as his companion, and only slightly less since she had given him a name. The idea that she was Bonded still struck her as impossible, yet made her giddy at the same time.
A high-pitched buzzing near her ears reminded her that the recent wet weather had caused an explosion of insects of all sorts, some more annoying than others. She swatted the pest away and rolled onto her side before returning to her musings. Despite the rough start of her self-imposed exile, she had done well enough to support Makotae as he gained strength, strength with which he now used to support them both as a hunter and a pack animal. Although his gains had far more to do with healthy weight than height, his presence still made things far easier to deal with. So much so that she had decided to return to the village.
The mere thought garnered shocked surprise from him, mixed with no small amount of concern. Why? Those emotions had told her. Are you feeling well?
To be fair to him, she didn’t understand why she wanted to return. Out here she had gained everything she had wanted, hadn’t she? A life all her own, absent from other’s abuse and hate, with only the laws of nature to govern over her. She had even gained something she never expected. A friend.
Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling of things left undone, of wrongs left to rot, some of them hers. She had left the ones who raised her without a word, without thanks. When she had first set out on her own, she was too hurt to consider how her departure had disrespected the effort they put into her care. They deserved to see how well she had done, how well their efforts had paid off, didn’t they? Besides, she was Bonded now, wasn’t she? Mara had been wrong. There had been a wolf interested in her, a wolf just like her.
A surprising realization struck her, jolting her out of her reverie. Even though she had never considered herself really close to the Elders, the one thing she wanted to do was show them her new partner.
What did she expect from doing such a thing? Acceptance? Acknowledgment? Hadn’t she already proven that such things were beyond her kind?
Yet the urge grew until it interfered with the things she needed to do to survive, forcing her to come to the radical decision to return.
Lilau glanced around at the home she had made. She had swept the soil beneath her bare. All detritus was cleaned away to prevent any outbreaks of fires from either the larger central pit she and Makotae were lounging in front of, or the two smoking pits dug further out on either side. No smoke rose from the little hut-like structures over the smoking pits, most of their kills going down their gullets before it had a chance to be preserved. Still, they had served her well during the trying times after she had killed the forest cat and when they had downed the doe not too long ago.
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Uncertainty gave way to anxiety, causing her to give up on the idea of resting. She stood, gaining her a half-conscious stare from Makotae, who still lay drowsing on his side, and turned to regard the woven wood hut that had served as her shelter.
After Bonding, Makotae had refused to leave her side, day or night. Even after she had quieted the nagging voices in her head that told her she should let nothing that close, she had found that her original design was far too small to fit both of them. Plus, waking up suffocating against wolf's fur was not a pleasant experience.
She had replaced her tiny triangular structure with a larger square one, not much wider than she was tall and still too small to stand up in. Still, it was large enough for them both to not have to sleep on top of one another.
She would regret leaving it the most. Its simple twined branch walls and thatched roof represented the first thing they had accomplished together. Without her to keep it repaired and free of invaders, it would soon return to the dirt it sprang from, as all things must. So the cycle went, she supposed.
Beside the square hut stood a rectangular frame where she had tanned animal hides. Those hides had become the new clothes she wore, as well as a proper harness and bags for Makotae. He was far too young to ride, but that had not stopped him from putting his new harness to good use by helping her carry supplies and materials.
A rack next to the tanning frame held all of her weapons and extra tools, including a bone-tipped spear, arrows, an axe, knives, and a scythe. Lilau walked over to the rack, busying herself with taking them down and trying them together with vines from a nearby pile. She would take these with her as well as her nets and the bits of dried roots and berries she still had. As much as she felt pushed into returning, she could never delude herself into believing they would welcome her with open arms. They could even react violently. She wanted to present herself, at least attempt to find some peace in her past. But if she had to run, she wanted to be ready.
Her rustling and the clattering of bone on bone woke Makotae from his nap. He squirmed into a sitting position, regarding her with eyes full of questions.
An image of a deer falling, his teeth wrapped around its neck while her arrow stuck out from its heart, pushed itself to the forefront of her mind. Emotions, warm and powerful, weaved in and out of the memory. This, she learned, was how the Great Wolves spoke, not with words but with images, memories and feelings. It was disorienting, yet she had found it to be much easier to grasp than conversing with another person.
Together we are strong, was the gist of this message.
Flashes of abuse flew by. They only hurt us.
His head tilted. Why go back?
She formed her own images to present to him — the wrinkled and gray faces of the Elders. Mara’s pointed features and cold, calculating eyes, dark and piercing. Then Lilau contrasted it with Raval’s soft, round face with eyes full of warmth.
Lilau filtered through some of her better memories spent with them, she defined her response. They raised me. I want to see them again, show them what I’ve accomplished.
A memory of Makotae’s dam flashed through, dipped in longing and understanding. He missed his mother, too.
She placed her tool bundle on the ground and closed the distance between them. Lilau wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning in to place her forehead against his. I wish you could see her again as well.
Within the last moon they shared many memories with each other, including those that had shown the wolves and humans Makotae had known before his abandonment. None of them had been familiar to her. This wasn’t surprising, for she knew her village was only one of many that dotted the large forest landscape she lived in. Long ago, for reasons she never cared to ask about, each village founder had been allotted a place to build and a surrounding territory to hunt and care for by the Fokla Guardian itself. Every Wolf Tribe member, animal and human alike, knew better than to enter another village’s territory. However, as in her and Makotae’s case, it was common for the Unmarked and wolf culls to end up far away from their original homes. It helped ensure their fated demise, or in the rare cases where they might beat fate, it prevented them from finding their way back.
The forehead against hers shifted right before a wet tongue rolled its way up her face, making her glad her eyes were still closed.
It’s alright. Let us return to your family.
She straightened and nodded with determination.
“Yes. Are you ready to get packed up?”
He bounced over to her tool rack, tail wagging furiously, before turning to regard her with his best attempt at a grin. She couldn’t help but giggle as she returned to his side.