(It's all my fault. It's my fault...)

I've been outside of Sueka's hospital room, awaiting to hear about her condition. Yamiso and Crystal are here as well, but they don't talk to me. It seems our argument prior to this about me not being a Keisetsu member has caused them to feel guilty about everything that's happened. Crystal looks at me with sympathetic eyes. Or...at least as sympathetic as tired eyes can be. And then there's Yamiso... I can tell, he's feeling as guilty as he is mad. To bring someone like me into a Keisetsu member's work is one thing, but I cannot deny I did mess up that last encounter. "That was our chance to end it all right there!" he said to me, and I cannot say I blame him.

I can only blame myself. I can only blame my own stupidity. Why couldn't I have seen through Mydrea? I even had a dream warn me and everything! Why couldn't I see Yamiso and Crystal for who they really were? Looking back on it, it really was as clear as day! They're strong. Much stronger than me! They're as organized as Mydrea was. Not to mention they are well informed. Was I so wrapped up in revenge that I couldn't even see the obvious!? And now look... Terraz? Destroyed. Doryoko? Murdered. Hisashi? Gone forever... And...Sueka...

(Oh...what have I done!?)

Patan...

A nurse walks out of the room. I quickly get up, waiting for her response.

She looks down, with an expression I do not wish to see.

"Come with me," she says sadly.

The three of us walk a ways until we reach a vacant waiting room.

"I'm afraid that Miss Sueka Tsurai is in an even more serious comatose state than the majority of our other patients. It's almost as if the rhime was absorbed from her body in a way that was more direct than most. Because of this, not only is her rhime too low to wake up from a comatose state, she lacks enough to possibly be able to ever regain her bodily functions. She's...suffering."

She lifts her head and turns to me.

"You're her guardian, correct?"

I pause for a second. Although I really don't see myself as one good enough to be her guardian, I nod.

"I'm afraid...she only has a few days left to live in her condition."

!!!!!

"What's more...those remaining few days will be ones of agonizing discomfort, even for someone in a coma. She involuntarily struggles and will randomly show signs of labored breathing before falling into her comatose state again. And that will likely happen more and more over the next couple of days. As her guardian, you will have to make a choice..."

"Do you wish to put her out of her misery now?"

All I can do is remain motionless. Dumbstruck. Heartbroken. In the end, I could only do one thing...

I leave the room to see Sueka for myself.

I reach her room and see her connected to multiple life-support systems. She is clad in white hospital garments with her hair down. Resting. I only wish I could say she was resting peacefully. Her expression is what you might see watching someone having a nightmare. A nightmare I caused. I look down to see her hand at the edge of the bed. I pick it up with my good hand and attempt to move my injured hand over it. I can barely feel the pain in my injured arm right now. It's nothing compared to the emotional distress I feel. Her hands...are ice cold. Perhaps even colder than Crystal's. Looking at her closely, she's even more pale than when she collapsed. Almost ghostly white. She's like this...because of me...

It's my fault...It's my fault...

I lift her hand up and press it against my face. And all I can do is cry. Cry for the woman I loved.

After staying with Sueka for what felt like too short of a time despite being half an hour, I join up with Yamiso and Crystal.

"We have to reconsider our strategy," Yamiso says to Crystal.

Crystal stays silent. Not because she is tired, but because she is mournful. I forgot that she and Sueka were starting to get along.

"We have to prevent this from happening again!"

He turns to me.

"And what about you? What's your plan?"

"I have no plan. I'm done. I cannot do anything. At least nothing right..."

Yamiso is silent, then walks over to me.

"You might think I am a heartless asshole for saying this, but..."

He pushes me towards another door and opens it.

"You're not the only one here who has lost a loved one."

If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

I look into the room. Beds. Beds as far as the eye can see. Occupied beds. Beds with patients, all connected to machinery. Beds will people crying next to them. Beds with doctors beside them wearing expressions of remorse. It's one thing to read of tragedies in the newspapers, or even to watch them on TV, but to see the aftermath before your very eyes...I...don't even know what to say.

Two men walk into the room, one of them being an elderly fellow. Oh...WAIT...!!!

They are two of the rich men from before!

My feelings of sadness turn to rage! If these people weren't around, then maybe...!!!

"Please, accept this donation," the elderly one says.

(Huh?)

The men give some of the doctors briefcases. They open them up and see they are packed to the brim with mesures!

The younger one turns to me.

"You're...Oren Tsurai, if I am not mistaken?"

We find a place in the lobby to sit down, and the five of us begin to talk.

"You have every right to hate us," the younger one says. "To be directly associated with that sorry lot of greedy old farts upsets me. I will not say that my hatred towards them is the same or greater than yours. But trust me, not all men in a group think exactly the same way."

"We've been trying to convince them to change their ways and provide more for the people in New Vegas, but sadly, the majority is not in our favor. At least we've been able to prevent some laws and procedures that would hurt the lower classes even more. But, in the end, all we can do is this. Donations. Donations and the occasional job opening. It's...odd. To be part of the group with the most power in an area, and still be so powerless."

After this introduction, Yamiso and Crystal decide to have a discussion with them. Specifically, I think it is about their protection, as well as about attempting to get leads on the "terrorists'" activities and motives.

But not me. Although I want to listen, although I want to speak, the world seems so quiet to me. Empty. Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, I get up and apologize to the two men, requesting I take my leave. On the way out, a nurse tells me that Sueka would end her suffering within 24 hours. Once again, all I can do is remain silent. I leave the hospital and walk back home. Alone. In the rain. Silence. The world around me is silent. I can see everyone preparing for a big strike, adults and children alike. I can see the determination in their eyes. But everything is silent. The people. The rain. Silence. Silence...

I finally arrive back at the apartment. Home. Where the heart should be. And yet...it's hollow. I open the door. I am prepared to say "I'm home," but to who? I expect to see Sueka cooking, or perhaps doing something at the table. I expect her smile. Perhaps a clumsy action. But there's nothing. It's just me. I'm the one who came back. I'm the one who got out alive. Me... Me...

I turn to look at the mirror on the wall. My reflection. The reflection of the man who survived.

...

.......

...Why?

That face...

Why?

Why must a face that cannot be seen be allowed to survive when everyone with smiles is dying because of it!?!?!?!?

Unable to contain my rage, I punch the mirror with my good hand. The mirror shatters into millions of pieces, each one showing my face. What face? This face doesn't deserve a reflection! I start to stomp on the shards with increasing speed. Stop looking at me! STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!! I bend down and punch the shards until my good hand bleeds. Why!? WHY MUST I...!?

In an instant, ice freezes my arm in place. Ice that I cannot feel.

I look at the entryway. Crystal.

She lets me calm down and helps me clean up the mirror shards, then tends to my hand. We begin to talk while she is wrapping my hand in bandages.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"Whatever for?"

"For getting you involved."

"It's my own fault more than yours. I should have known what I was getting into."

"Still, I cannot tell you how guilty I feel."

I pause for a short while. Crystal goes on tending to my wounds.

"Why did you choose me?"

She stops wrapping my arm. She then takes my broken arm from its sling and turns it over. On the other side of my sleeve, I see the symbol that Sueka sewed on when we arrived in New Vegas. A "last souvenir of Terraz" or something like that.

"This symbol is for trainees in the Kyusen, regardless of which division you're in. We heard about what happened in Terraz, but knew nothing of Mydrea's partner. For that reason, we assumed that her partner would come to New Vegas to continue our work, since both missions are intertwined. That's how we do things in the Keisetsu. When a partner is lost, we always go to back up those who still haven't completed their assignment."

(So...it was all because of this.)

If I recall, Hunter threw this at Mydrea to taunt her back there in Terraz. To lose a partner. Perhaps...I'm beginning to understand Mydrea more, as much as I hate to admit it.

"You puzzle me," I say.

"Oh? Why so?"

"You don't seem the 'Keisetsu' type."

"I...don't quite understand..."

"Yamiso and Mydrea seemed to be more of the...fighting type. Quick to anger. Aggressive. Duty bound above all else."

"That last part is a lie, Oren. Mydrea may take her job seriously, but she does have a heart. And Yamiso has followed Mydrea's footsteps to the best of his ability."

."..Very well, I'm sorry. But regardless, you're kind and gentle. You don't seem to be a fighter. I could see you in perhaps another division of the Kyusen, but not as a Keisetsu member. Tell me, why are you?"

Crystal takes a deep breath, which can be seen because of her body temperature.

"Ever heard of anemia before?"

."..Truth be told, I have not."

"To sum it up, anemia is when the body cannot produce enough healthy blood cells. One side effect is not enough oxygen throughout the body. Even so, ever since rhime came to be, this 'supernatural oxygen' has been able to counter this side effect and thus, makes me technically healthy. However, my body still thinks that it needs actual oxygen, so I'm always tired because of that."

She sighs.

"I am...not an only child. I have a little sister by the name of Seppe. Like you towards your sister, she is the love of my life. She's only eight years of age at that. However, we didn't exactly have it easy. Our parents left on what they said was a journey to find a way to cure my condition, but never returned. My sister and I struggled to survive. Like you are now, we struggled to make ends meet financially. When I got old enough to work, I took any job I could get my hands on. However, due to my...condition, I was never able to meet my employer's standards. I got fired more times than I could count. By that point, I was willing to do anything. To be anything. Just so long as I could help myself and my little sister, I didn't care what I would have to become."

She pauses then looks up to the ceiling.

"And that's when it happened."

She looks at me and continues to talk.

"A blind man with long blond hair came up to me and offered my sister and me some bread. The blind man sympathized with us. I began to wonder how someone who probably was suffering in his own way could possibly care about us? And then...he asked me how we were getting by. I tried to lie and say we were fine, but he knew the truth. He pondered what to do with me until I asked him what he did for a living. After all, 'how much could a blind man do that I couldn't?', I thought. It was through this man that I became part of the 'hated' Keisetsu. When I learned of his position, my gut instinct was to turn his offer down, but I really had no choice. I needed the money. But I realized that the Keisetsu meant fighting. 'But I'm lazy' I thought. 'What could I do?'"

"But then I learned the truth."

"Truth?"

"I began to work in the Keisetsu and travel all around the five continents on specific missions. And it's because of this travelling that I learned something. I suffered quite a bit. But many others are suffering as well. I was starving and begged for food before becoming a Keisetsu member. But so many actually have it worse. And yet many continue to fight. They have a reason to fight. Through my travels, I learned that I too have been fighting. Fighting to survive for my sister and myself. It's through this that I began to realize...that I am a fighter in my own way. And that's why I stayed in the Keisetsu."

"So, duty?"

"I don't think I could live with myself while others are suffering. I am hoping to find peace of mind one day, but I will never achieve such a thing with guilt on my conscience."

I look at my hand.

"But at least you had the power..." I say.

"Power isn't everything."

"To be a Keisetsu member is to be a fighter. I am not strong enough to protect anybody."

"Keisetsu members are not living weapons."

"You're a Keisetsu fighter."

"I'm human..."

I stop talking. In the end, I realize that all I've done is antagonize them. Granted, Mydrea deserved some of the hatred I have for her, but Crystal is right. She is human. No different than me in that regard. As soon as she finishes wrapping my hand, she gets up and walks towards the door.

"We are planning to meet on the fourth floor of the old "Spirited Away" bathhouse a few blocks southwest."

"Hm?"

"I don't know what you want to do, nor will I force you do to anything. This time, it's your choice."

She takes her communication crystal out of her pocket.

"If you wish to talk to me, please let me know. Also, these crystals are good for recording one's voice, which is perfect if you want to play a song during battle without singing."

Walking to the door, she adds, "Whatever you choose, I will try my best to make it up to you..."

With her gone, I'm all alone again. What should I do? I have another chance at revenge, but what good has that done me?

But even so...

Sueka...

Hisashi...

I get my own communication crystal from my pocket and look into it.

Honestly...I think...I already know what I should do.