Unipsi, lovely entity
chapter 75c: talk
Unfortunately with a mere clearance level of 8, Scilla couldn’t read much if not redundant knowledge. Still, she kept looking for everything she could find about the exclusion zone, gravron, and whoever made all those files. However, her commitment brought little results, before she knew days passed and Iris was on her way back. Iris returned on the third day around noon. She was welcomed by Scilla who, to avoid suspicion, had prepared nothing to eat.
“welcome back… was it hard?” asked Scilla.
“sort of. Not really a complex task, just a dangerous one… would you mind making me some food I’m starving” Iris smiled at Scilla.
Why did she ask me? She could have just ordered me to do so.
“sure. You want something specific?”
“not really. As long as it’s meat I’m good”
“you are on a fairly carnivorous diet...”
“love the taste. Way better than mush. It tastes like rust and… dirt with some acid… and don’t know.”
“well give me 20 minutes and you will have your lunch”
“what about you?”
“well I already ate”
Iris tilted her head, widened her eyes, and assumed an exaggerated sad expression. She was trying to comically convince Scilla to eat as well. Her sweet eyes softened Scilla. Iris plan worked perfectly as Scilla sighed.
“fine I’ll eat something with you. Just turn your sad eyes away”
“yei!” exclaimed Iris moving to a smile and jumping happily. It was the first time she was so cheerful and full of emotions.
Iris disappeared into her room. She emerged from it only once the food was ready and Scilla called her. At the table, she had a fierce look, almost as if she was ready for a heated debate. Scilla served some skewed cubes of meat cooked on embers with a side of red moss, that both 511 and 608 seemed to love, a roasted tuber which had nothing in common with potatoes, and some fresh leaves of an unknown plant that tasted like cucumbers.
“your food is good. How did you learn all these recipes? Does the outside have the same ingredients as the one here?” asked Iris starting the conversation.
“thanks for the compliment. But no, nothing on this planet exists outside of it. Or at least never found anything on Icar-3. Still I don’t really need recipes. I just go with the feeling you know?”
Iris looked confused at Scilla. She didn’t know. She was a step ahead of 511 but not much further. She learned how to cook over a fire so all her diet was roasting food and eat it as it was. From time to time she would eat grey mush to integrate missing nutrients.
“well. Surely it is a useful skill to have. So what did you do while I was away?”
does… does she know? no. she can’t know, right?
“well nothing much. I stayed here. Read a bunch. I didn’t read the novel that we were reading together. I don’t want spoilers...”
Iris smiled and let out a fast yet loud laugh.
Shit, she knows.
“not that nonsense. So what did you discover?”
“I… I… I was allowed to read the files. The bot let me…”
“Scilla. I’m not mad. At least not if you tell me the truth. Why did you think I took my tablet with me? Did you think I would not notice someone spying on me? I know that you tracked me. I let you do so. I know that you went to a library. Just tell me.”
“do… do I really have to…” Scilla was looking away and sort of embarrassed like a child caught misbehaving.
“yep you have to. Curiosity isn’t a crime. I just want to know what your researches were”
“well you know… that I tracked you. I saw you going into the exclusion zone. So I searched for answers. I didn’t find much in the library. I mean there was a lot but I had no authorization to read it. But from what I could understand the zone it’s like a wasteland where gravity is fucked up right?”
“yep”
“and even if I’m a bit confused by the writing. I think that you were the cause of the zone…”
Iris smiled widely. It was a creepy smile that showed as many teeth as possible combined with a lunatic gaze. It was an eerie sight, yet to Scilla it felt right. Almost as if she knew that she did something that pleased Iris.
“excelled work. Your deductive skills are really good. What else?”
She didn’t directly confirm that she was the one causing the zone. Maybe she isn’t actively keeping it up?
“well not much else. But I think that the document I found spoke mostly of Idras, you and a third group of creatures. I think you and your Idras are different from the one who were born here. You and the others apparently are mixed with gravron elements. And I think that the last group of unknown creatures also had a lot of gravron. So I think the document spoke about the Stigras. Because they make so little sense. They have guns incorporated in them. So I think it’s probably due to gravron right?”
“you will have your proof with time.”
“what I’m missing is why you had to go to such a place.”
“who knows? But still, well done Scilla”
“thanks… I may… have something else to say...”
Iris, who had almost finished devouring the food, looked at Scilla perplexed.
“it was my second time at a library. I did the same to track you”
“oh. Double good job then”
“yeah… but the library had something already prepared for me… sort of”
“Scilla stop running away. Just tell me what you want to tell me”
“there was a pre-recorded message by 484 about you. She said that you were imprisoned here and that I should have destroyed my spaceship so you would not be able to leave”
“… that’s it?” Iris voice was confused, as if she was expecting something else.
“I don’t want to hurt you more, but I can prove it and…”
“I already knew. 484 told me, sort of the same, on her dying bed. Well if you don’t have anything else to say I would take my leave…”
“well I have something else to say. But can you give me some minutes to… prepare myself?”
“sure, I’ll be back in some minutes. Shall we talk over a cup of tea?”
“it would be perfect”
“then bye, for now”
Once Iris retreated into her room Scilla let go a long sigh. The time spent on Weeping Sky, the pain she received and inflicted. Her visions and the placid hours spent alone allowed Scilla to process her life. Not only the recent events but all she had done from the day she went to war. A needed thinking that allowed her to finally get over the horrors of war and more.
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It is in moment like this that I would love for gods to exist. Please choose to stay.
15 minutes later Iris returned. With minor exchanges of words, they prepared 2 big cups of tea. They placed them on the small table before the couch that had also been Scilla’s bed. So it had pillows and a wrinkled light blanket.
“sorry. Give me a second”
Scilla rushed and tried to improve the couch but Iris ignored it. She walked past her. Fixed the blanket on her spot just a little and then sat. She was on the left side of the couch closer to where Scilla had her pillow and put her head on while sleeping. Scilla sat on the right. Iris was staring at her. Her pupil pattern moving as if it was a fusing star. Constant changes from yellow to a bright orange. From dull orange to blinding yellow again. Was it real, was it all just an illusion? Who knows.
“I… I have a lot to say… and I know you would love to interrupt. But please can you let me speak without interruptions?”
“I surely can. Speak freely, star wanderer.”
Scilla smiled at such a definition, but it made sense from Iris’s point of view.
“I… reflected a bunch. On what I did in my life and what I did to you. I killed thousands of people. I tortured prisoners, burned civilians alive. I was the one who pressed the button. The one who ended an entire species. My morals are as useful as a fan against a tornado. I have no right to criticize your doing… which is more moral than normal farming. It looks unnatural but it’s way better than intensive farming. I fucked up everything…”
Scilla stood up to then kneel on one knee before Iris while keeping her head down. Like a knight.
“I can’t ask for forgiveness. I insulted you, I insulted your work. I got angry at you. Shouted and threatened you. It’s an unforgivable behavior. Even more unforgivable if toward a woman. I acted like a child and an idiot. I therefore apologize even if words don’t mean much against my own actions. I’m sorry Iris.”
Scilla was not waiting for forgiveness. No, she was awaiting a stream of insults that never came. Instead, she heard Iris moving around and then felt a hand on her head. Iris's small fingers passed between her hair.
“stand, come here, and then tell me all you want” Iris voice was calm and warm. Like a mother talking with a child.
Scilla looked up to see Iris lying on the couch. Iris took Scilla’s pillow and was hugging it. She also pulled out her hair that was tied in a tail with multiple hair ties to keep it cylindrical. Her position suggest that she wanted Scilla to place her back on the pillow that was going to separate them. Yet even if invited Scilla was still hesitant.
“Are you… are you sure?”
“yep. Just lay down and let me play with your hair while you talk”
Scilla followed the request. As she placed herself between Iris’s legs, they closed on her torso trying to lock her in. Iris of course was no match for Scilla’s strength but she didn’t oppose. Iris started to pet Scilla and incited her to free her mind speaking as much as she wanted with no limits.
Scilla didn’t know why, but there, feeling the heat radiating from Iris, she felt safe. Just like when she was at home, playing around with her sister. She started speaking. She told Iris everything that ever happened in her life. All her regrets, even the smaller ones. All her achievements, all her moments of pure joy and pride. But Scilla also told of all her atrocities. She had become an Ittira for a reason, and that reason was the amount of gut-wrenching things she did. All for the safety of her people. All for her kind. All for her family. Few times she looked back at her past, at her actions, and wondered if she did the right thing. Until now those thoughts had only been temporary. Fast fading in a constantly overworking mind. But not now. Not this time. In a moment of reflective pause, Iris spoke softly.
“your past defines your future. Your actions made you what you are now. Many regrets will lead to nowhere. If you don’t like what you did. Then improve. If weakness was the source, became stronger…”
“how? How could I avoid repeating my mistakes?”
“I have no answers to that. At least no answer you would like. Idras… are different from most. Failure was not acceptable. Weakness was not an option. So most used drastic measures. They destroyed their brains. Made them different to remove their weaknesses. It was an option for them, especially if you leave at best 25 years. Forgoing forever your empathy isn’t a big deal when that forever is just 10 years.”
“I won’t lobotomize myself. But I understand that’s not your suggestion. So how about you? How do you become stronger?” asked Scilla.
Iris, as she replied, started playing more with Scilla’s hair.
“acceptance. That’s basically the answer for most creatures. Just accept what you did, but not what you are. If you want to change, you change how you act. For me… changes have a different meaning. Without the collar, I could become whatever I wanted. If I feel weakness I could remove it. I can remove emotions, I can remove pain, fatigue. Everything. But in the end, accepting your failures and learning from them is the strategy. Just never give up.”
“how do you not give up?”
“Because I’m stubborn.”
Scilla smiled, it was true. Iris was really stubborn.
“thanks you… unfortunately, I’m not as stubborn as you…”
Scilla went on speaking her mind. Telling her insecurities and cried several times speaking aloud her regrets toward her sister. After all, she swore to protect her from her family drama but in the end, failed. Iris kept to herself only reassuring Scilla via physical contact. Hours later once Scilla fished Iris decided to do a similar talk. She laid down more and freed her hair.
“I fear what I am” started Iris.
“I may have the same half as all my sisters, but I’m a completely different species. We have knowledge on Morfians. But about me? There is nothing. What are Leermorfs? Who knows. My a really a space monstrosity?”
“no you are not. Look at you now” While those words left Scilla’s mount she noticed some long floating filaments entering her view. Similar to when just one hair is in front of your eyes.
“I have my doubts. I don’t even know how I can be alive”
“why?”
“Because I can live without my brain. I can shift into a brainless ball of tentacles, yet my consciousness remains. How? It makes no sense. Where does my species even come from? I have no clue. I also know things I shouldn’t, yet why do I?”
The strings in Scilla’s view increased in number to the point that she could no longer ignore them. Those copper filaments defiled gravity as they appeared to not be affected by it.
“what… what kind of things?”
Scilla curious poked one of those filaments that was easily pushed away.
“like be able to change my body into creatures that I have never seen nor eaten. It’s like having a fragment of a memory that is no more”
“that’s something… I don’t really have answers…”
“don’t worry, I’m just venting, I guess.”
Scilla kept moving away more and more filaments.
“sorry, but do you see these floating lines too?”
“of course, they are my hair”
Scilla immediately turned and startled Iris who pulled back. All of Iris’s hair was floating around weightless. Iris’s hair was mostly as long as her, so those 150cm and more filaments reached everything.
“I thought you wouldn’t mind…”
“I.. I. I don’t. But is it normal? They didn’t float before right?”
“mine always floated…”
Iris passed her hair-ties to Scilla who verified for herself that they had additional weight.
“so I used those to keep them… in the same direction as gravity.”
“how do they float?”
“you may have guess by now that I have a lot of gravron in my body. So much that no matter the case I can’t remove it completely. Fortunately, I can store the excess mostly in my hair. It’s a bit more complicated than that but the end result is that my hair counterbalances gravity and ends up floating”
They kept talking for a while until Scilla decided that it was time for dinner. They ate and without a word returned to their previous position. This time Scilla had the tablet with the novel. Once ready she started reading and kept going as long as she felt Iris moving and playing with her hair. At some point in fact Iris stopped moving. Scilla used the table reflection to look at her to see that she had fallen asleep.
Do I try to sleep too? I mean I’m conformable and warm. Or maybe I’ll count the time before she starts kicking.
Even if she wasn’t sure that Iris would keep sleeping Scilla decided to put down the tablet, pull the blanket over herself, and sleep. Instead of being awakened by kicks or screams, Scilla woke up with the tablet alarm. Opening her eyes she noticed that she was trapped in Iris’s hair. Those threads wrapped around her neck, arms, and fingers. Fortunately, they were loose so Scilla moved her arm to touch Iris who after a lot of attempts finally decided that she had to stop sleeping.
“what do you want Scilla? You should not get into my room without permission” Iris’s sleeping voice was lower and a lot slower. It was also confusing as Iris didn’t really sleep much.
“but you slept in my bed. I mean couch.”
“That's stupid I don’t sleep”
“you do rarely”
“and you disturbed me in the few hours I sleep. Why?”
“cause it’s been 9 hours. Just open your eyes”
Convinced Iris opened her eyes and looked around.
Mmh. Not my room. Bed is worse. Worse covers. Table near. Scilla before me. Pillow. My hair covering her… I… I… remember… …
“DREAMING!!” shouted Iris.
“I dreamt Scilla! I dreamt!”
“I figured you had no nightmares. I slept on you and you didn’t shout in my ears”
“no no no! You don’t get it. I had no nightmares. No nightmares. It’s… I don’t know. I don’t even remember a time when I didn’t have nightmares. You are magical”
“well maybe you were more exhausted…”
“that’s not it. You are the only thing that changed. So from now on you will sleep with me. I don’t care if you like it or…”
“if it could allow you to sleep count me in.”
“well we will try again in a couple of your days.”
“sure… so want to have breakfast?”
“yep, and after that prepare your bags… or something cause I’m bringing you home”
“isn’t this your home?”
“well I mean to my living quarters, my home inside my house” smiled Iris.