<~> CHAPTER 64 - MAXWELL

I leaned heavily against the slick wall and fought off the panic that always nearly overwhelmed me whenever I was forced to traverse this floor by myself. My heart was racing and my hand gripped the hilt of my sword tightly as I stared forward into the dark cavern paths in front of me. This floor always appeared to me as if I had been locked below the floorboards of an endless tavern, I could even hear the bustle of people above me as they sat, drank, and made merry above me while I was locked down here alone. The walls were always slick with moisture and uncomfortably close together, tight enough that I always feared getting trapped between them as I passed through. It hadn't ever happened but my stomach dropped every time I passed through one of the many tight passageways this floor liked to inflict on me. The bright orange light of lanterns and torches through the floorboards above made it so that my eyes could never adjust to the dark and see the hidden monsters that kept me on edge and hid around every corner.

My shaking hands dug the first of the guiding rods out of my bag and activated it. To my relief the sparks began to flow in front of me, I wouldn't have to somehow turn around and go the other direction like I had so many times before. Bile rose in my throat as I pushed through the tight space and I had to stop a moment to ease my heart once I had made it through. Scratching noises and the whispers of the monsters around me echoed against the cave walls, barely audible under the ruckus above me. The monsters never attacked me on this floor. I knew they attacked the others from the small bits and pieces I had gathered from their own trials through this place, but never me. I still kept my sword in hand as I pushed through the tight passageways. They might attack me if I let my guard down.

I had rarely caught glimpses of these monsters before, but they had changed a little since I had last been here. They had Helena's glowing eyes now. Well, no, not Helena's glowing white eyes, they had the glowing eyes of umber wolves. This cruel dungeon must have learned about my trepidation with the beasts since the last time I had come through here. I had adapted to Helena joining our group but there was still something unsettling about her eyes that still gave me pause occasionally, especially on the darker floors like this one. I trusted Helena now, she had proven herself to be a reliable friend, but there was something primal deep inside me that didn't like it when she watched me with those white eyes. Now the monsters were watching me with them, only to run away once I started to move toward them. I occasionally had to look back behind me to make sure none would attack me from behind and I would see them scatter and hide back around rocks from that direction too. The stress of always being watched by these monsters kept me on edge even more than I had already been. This floor was far worse for me now.

My heart started beating harder in my chest when I came to the next passage the rod had directed me to. A long narrow passageway that I would have to push through on my side. I hated these hallways, this floor always forced me through them at least three or four times. I rested my head against the hard moist walls and gathered my courage. I had to be careful not to panic too much on this floor, if I did then I would run out of time and my guiding rods would fail me. The only thing that kept me moving was my greater fear of being lost in this place without even a direction to go. When I opened my eyes again I saw dozens of eyes scatter away from me. I grit my teeth and shimmied my way through the tight path. The cave wall pushed against my chest and back the entire way. I was forced to hold my heavy shield awkwardly in one hand while I held my heavy pack in the other, it was the only way for me to make it through this hole without leaving anything behind.

When I finally made it to the other side I had to lean against the wall and slow my breathing so that I didn't get any more lightheaded. I gazed up at the warm light trickling through the floorboards and felt envy at all the people above me who weren't alone up there, before once again reminding myself that the ceiling was an illusion. There wasn't actually anyone up there. The thought almost made me feel worse. I shook my head and continued on through the tight walls designed solely to torture me as I progressed the floor.

"I'm not alone. Everyone is waiting for me at the end. Everyone is okay. I'll be fine too. I'm not alone..." I repeated these words over and over again like a prayer. I repeated them over and over and over again until the words began to lose their meaning and I forced myself to stop.

I nearly panicked when a rock scraped against my hip in a way I hadn't expected. I constantly felt like the walls were pressing in on me, or moving, and the occasional time when the walls were in a different spot than I thought they were, scared me to the bone. I couldn't tell if the dungeon was messing with me or if it was my own imagination adding to this hell. Either could be true, this dungeon was already acting malicious, why not place another log on the fire?

They're doing it on purpose. I wish these cowardly monsters would just fight me. It's even worse now that I can see them ducking around the corners, peeking out as I pass. This is the sixth floor, they're probably weak. I would feel better if I could just kill them, but that's probably the point. They don't want to fight with me, they want me to be constantly on edge, pick away at my composure until I crack like a nut. I won't let them.

After what felt like half a day I came to another crossroad and the guiding rod told me I needed to squeeze through one of those tight hallways again. The other paths looked so much more tempting, but I knew better than to ignore this path. Only one time before had I tried to find my way around it, only to find myself back where I started with one fewer rod to show for it. I milled about at the crossroads for longer than I should have, before finally gathering the bravery to push myself through another of these tight passages.

I squeezed into the crevice and shuffled along, only barely managing to keep my heart under control when the guiding rod that was tucked into my belt suddenly ran out. I panicked and flailed, before scraping my elbows and my knees trying to escape the spot I was in. When I finally made it through the passage and caught my breath again, I realized I had two more guiding rods, there was no reason to panic, I had freaked out for no reason. I chastised myself for succumbing to the panic again.

The scraped elbows and knees weren't of consequence and I pressed on with my second guiding rod leading me through the passages. The crowd of following things with their eyes were still following me, still keeping their distance even through my panic, a hollow reassurance. Shortly later I came to my least favorite passage that I had ever come across on this floor. Unlike the other spots that had me hesitate, this spot had me frozen. I don't know how long I had been pacing and gathering all the nerve that I possibly could before I finally tied my pack to my waist and laid my body down in the dirt.

This passage could only be crawled through. The first sight to grace me was a dozen eyes that watched as I started to push my way under. They kept watching even as I got closer and for a brief moment I thought I would have to actually fight them before they scattered just as I lifted my sword in their direction. Despite my persistent desire to fight them, not having to do it while on my belly while shuffling through this tiny hole was the only respite this floor had given me. Respite that would have pleased me more if not for the crushing fear of dying under this rock that was ever present as I crawled through and the fastest speed I could muster, which unfortunately, was not fast at all.

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When I made it through I couldn't even rest as I had to rush to pull my pack out with me. This bag was our lifeline, the single most important thing any of us carried. Right now it was bursting at the seams with the treasures I had harvested from all those monsters, losing that now would be disastrous. I was only able to relax once the bag was safely on my back once again. I panted and felt lightheaded and only realized when I had started to feel wobbly that I needed to slow my breaths again. I was panicking again. I was in such a constant state of stress that it was difficult to keep my head on straight.

I don't want to be alone anymore. If the others were here I would be okay. I still wouldn't enjoy this, but I would be okay. My friends need me, I need to protect them. Their presence would keep me focused. I don't want to die all alone.

I shook my head the moment the thought went through my mind. That was a bad direction for them to travel. It would waste time. Time I didn't have. This was a better line of thinking, it kept me focused, kept me motivated. Pushed me to action.

Following the sparks of the glowing rod once again I pressed forward. I felt numb. The panic, the fear, it was overwhelming me. I could only press forward, focus on getting back to my friends. They were waiting for me. They needed me. I don't want to be alone anymore. I must be getting close. I feel like I've been walking through this nightmare forever.

Cheers rang out from above me again. They were enjoying themselves above me while I was locked away down here. No, they're not real. I'm alone. No, I'm not alone, my friends are waiting for me. I need to get to them, I need to protect them. They need me.

My heart sank when I turned the next corner and watched as the sparks fell down to the floor again. Two of these passages in one trip through? I grit my teeth. I blinked away the tears in my eyes as I fell to my knees once again. There's no time. I need to get through here. I'm going to lose my mind. I can't panic, I have to keep going, I have to make it through here. They'll be waiting for me, they'll be okay. I'll be okay.

I tied the sturdy rope around my waist once again. I normally hated the restrictive feeling of rope on my body but right now it was comforting compared to the passages I was forced to crawl through. I began to shimmy forward once again, crawling toward those eyes that watched me this entire floor. I was holding my sword so tightly in my hand that it was starting to hurt, but I would be ready for them. They're waiting for me to lower my guard so they can attack me when I'm not ready.

I felt a tug on my rope and my eyes flew wide open. I pulled the rope so hard that my pack flew into my side and I flailed my legs at anything that could be attached to it. I screamed and flailed around wildly like a demented horse. When I came back to my senses I realized that there was nothing attacking me, my pack was still here. But I was still stuck under this rock. The mental picture of the rock falling on me suddenly pushed me to keep crawling forward again, finally I was free of this tiny prison and back into a merely small one.

Peeking into my pack I confirmed that everything was still in there and there were no tears in it. It was a little dirty but I had dragged it through two holes now, not to mention all of the other crevices I've squeezed through so far. I caught my breath and began moving forward again. I was eyeing the guiding rod now, it feels like it's been a long time, but time always escapes me in this place. I was sure the guiding rod would die soon and I would be on my last.

Before the dread of being on my last guiding rod could manifest, I finally came to the door of the safe room. My hand shook as I grabbed the handle and pushed the door open. I sighed in relief when two of my friends were already here, I wouldn't have to wait for them alone.

"You look as shaken up as ever coming through there. Did anyone stay together?" Piper asked me as she stroked Aria's hair. The feline beastkin was lying on her side asleep. Her eyes were red and puffy, it was obvious she had been crying.

I licked my dry lips and shook my head. "No. Luna and I were the last ones together... What happened to her? Didn't she say this floor wasn't any trouble for her?"

My sister frowned and looked down at her. "She said that the floor changed for her. Visions of her friends kept saying she killed or abandoned them, and she was forced to kill the monsters that looked like them before she could make it here."

I slumped against the wall next to her and Piper took my shaky hand in hers. I relaxed for the first time since I had come to the floor and felt her soothing magic repair all of the scrapes and scratches I had inflicted on myself.

"You can sleep for a while. I'll keep watch for the others," Piper told me.

I closed my eyes. "Thank you..." I barely managed to say back to her without letting my voice crack.