<~> CHAPTER 33 - HELENA

I was freaking out.

Out of nowhere Luna sat in my lap and was all over me the moment I woke up. I was on cloud nine, I couldn't help but keep grinning like an idiot. We kissed!

It hadn't been my imagination, she really was interested in me. I was both ecstatic and petrified. My future was so uncertain... I wasn't convinced I wouldn't be attacked in the streets... and yet she still thought I was good enough for her...

I trailed my fingers up her face and ran my fingers along her beautiful red ears. Her face hadn't lost its blush since she first sat in my lap but tracing my fingers along her ears brought another shade of scarlet to the front. She was beautiful, her blue eyes sparkled in the shaded sun. The intensity of my stare must have eventually gotten to her because she buried her face into my neck again, rubbing her nose and cheek against me like a cat. The corners of my mouth turned up as I held her to my chest, her playful actions amused me.

She leaned back and had a nervous look on her face. She took my hands as she continued to sit on me and stare up into my eyes. ("Helena, does this mean you wish to take me as your bride?")

My eyes widened and I froze. BRIDE? What?

I sputtered. ("Isn't this... moving a little fast? I thought we were starting at girlfriends!")

Her ears went back and her brows furrowed in confusion. ("Girlfriends... what does that mean? Is that like an engagement?")

I felt like I had been punched in the gut. We just kissed! Engagement?! I looked away and searched my thoughts. Was being 'girlfriends' really that different from being engaged? Not really no, the only difference was the promise of... m-marriage.

When I looked back at her she looked anxious along with a complex set of other warring emotions. Nervousness, hope, yearning, anxiety, hurt. I swallowed and gently touched her cheek. Her big blue eyes studied my face, trying to discern thoughts that even I hadn't settled on yet.

I cleared my throat, a fairly useless endeavor considering how we were talking. ("Where... where I come from there's a stage before engagement. It's... similar I suppose but without the formal promise that it'll lead to m-marriage and without the rings to signify it.")

Her ears perked up a little. ("So... like a prospective engagement? To see if we're compatible before making any formal commitments? But... you're still willing to take me as your bride eventually? If things work out?")

Oh geeze. Even this is more than I feel comfortable with but I... guess that's true. My face felt hot and I nodded. ("If... if things work out, yes.")

Her face lit up with happiness and relief before hugging herself against me. My armor made the hug a little uncomfortable but it was hard not to melt into her. I wrapped my arms around her and rested my cheek on her head. Her furry ears tickled my face but I couldn't bring myself to be bothered by it. I felt like I had just navigated a minefield and came out unscathed. Engagement though? This felt like too much too soon but I didn't know how to slow things down. It seems the concept of casual dating wasn't a thing here.

I suppose I should count myself lucky that being a lesbian wasn't an apparent issue. She seemed intent on marriage as if it were an automatic, natural thing. I don't feel as though she would have spoken this way if there was any issue with women getting married in her culture. That kind of caught me off guard though, it meant I had no frame of reference for what her culture is like. All this time I had assumed that we were in some kind of medieval time period but if women getting married to each other was expected and normal, then how could I hardly make any accurate predictions on how it operated?

Luna stood up and pulled me to my feet. I say that, but she mostly just refused to let go of my hand. I grinned as she clung to my arm. This whole time she usually sat a little closer to me than felt appropriate, been a bit more touchy than I would expect, but now I could tell that she had been holding herself back. It seems she's kind of a clingy person, eager for hugs and affection. That suited me just fine. I pulled her against me as we walked, her long fox tail swished behind us in what I assumed to be cheerfulness.

Piper grinned at us when we sat down across from her. Maxwell had a small smile and raised an eyebrow. I blushed and looked down and Luna almost made a show of cuddling into my side even more.

"So, .... looks .... you two .... .... together ....?" Piper asked with a wide grin.

Luna nodded shyly against me.

".... .... huh? Well, .... .... .... ...." Piper continued talking but I couldn't understand most of what she said. Whatever it was seemed to make Luna happy though because her long tail curled around me possessively and she leaned into my side.

Maxwell smiled and shrugged before saying something as well but it seemed whatever they were talking about wasn't using any of the concrete practical language I had picked up so far. I assumed Luna was relaying what we had talked about to them. I could have asked Luna or Piper to translate for me but this felt like something I should let them talk about amongst themselves. I was still a little too shocked by the whole engagement business anyway, I wasn't sure I would be able to handle the subject right now.

Maxwell got up and started poking at the pot that had been hung over the fire. They were cooking a stew made from the portion of venison we had taken with us. It smelled good and hearty, and had some vegetables in it too?

Piper noticed my interest and spoke to me through the rings. ("While you two were cuddling over there Maxwell scavenged some vegetables from the plants to add to our stew. By the way, congratulations on your prospective engagement. I'm sure it won't take long for it to become properly engaged based on the way you two are acting.")

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I blushed and broke eye contact with her. It felt like teasing even though I suspected it wasn't. She really thought the two of us would work out and get... married. It was kind of a relief the two seemed so supportive of our relationship, even though we hadn't known each other for long. But, with everything the four of us had been through together already, I felt a stronger connection to the three of them than I had to any of my previous friends.

Then there was another thing... I had been thinking about finding a way home. I didn't have any idea how hard it would be but I suspected it wasn't going to be easy. If I got married to Luna wouldn't that... change my plans a little? Would I even be able to go back to my old life, even if I wasn't partially a monster? I've gotten addicted to the thrill of this place, the danger, the excitement. The idea of living a normal life with school and work felt so... boring.

Things might feel different if my dad hadn't died a few years ago... I wasn't close with my mom and like I said earlier... I felt closer to these three than any of my previous friends really... Did I even want to go back to my old life where my closest friends were the past crushes that rejected me?

I felt a little guilty though. It felt... wrong somehow to just give up on my old life and make a new one here. But if I committed to Luna, actually married her... then what reason would I even have to go back? Even the triathlon that I had been so focused on seemed entirely inconsequential now. It felt like something I was only competing in to prove a point that I don't even care about anymore. That wasn't the only reason I was doing it, I had actually begun to enjoy all the exercise and effort I was putting into it, but now that the spite for my roommate was gone it was just... something I was doing. This world in front of me, right here, right now, felt way more important to me...

Luna's rubbed my thigh and grabbed my attention.

("Are you okay Helena? You've been quiet the last few minutes.")

I smiled and hugged her against me. ("I'm okay. Just a lot on my mind and... thinking about the future.")

She smiled and then got up to pour two bowls of the stew for us. She handed one of them before sitting down next to me with our hips touching. She took a few bites while watching me attentively.

Blushing, I looked down at my food and took a bite. It tasted a lot better than any of the other food I had eaten here so far. Well... as far as cooked food goes. The minotaur and frost salamanders stuck out to me as being some of my favorite foods but that was different.

("Do you like it?") Luna asked.

I took another bite and looked over at her. ("I do, the venison is really good in a stew like this.")

She rubbed my thigh again with her hand. ("I'm glad. I haven't seen you eat much cooked food since we've met. Until we realized that you were eating the meat raw because of the magic inside I had wondered if you even could eat normal food.")

I thought about it a little while poking a piece of meat in my stew. ("Well, it helps that this stew is fresh. It tastes a lot better compared to the rations you're carrying. And I didn't want to impose too much when we first met. I figured it would be easier to eat the raw monster meat so I wouldn't cut into your rations, especially since it tasted better to me anyway.")

("Ah, yeah. The rations aren't my favorite either and they've unfortunately made up most of my diet for the last couple years with all of the delving we've been doing for the hunters association. We always try to eat fresh food when we can but floors like this are few and far between.")

I took a bite of my food. ("What's the hunter's association anyway?")

("Oh! Right! I forgot that you didn't know you were in a dungeon before... How do I put this? They're a group that tracks teams that enter the dungeon and taxes you for everything you pull out. The taxes aren't too bad and they provide some services but they also control everyone who's allowed to go into the dungeon.")

("Will they have an issue with me trying to walk out of the dungeon? I obviously didn't go in that way.")

She tapped her lips with her spoon. ("Well, they don't usually check people's licenses when they're leaving, except for whoever is processing the tax transaction. As long as we sign you up before going back in, it shouldn't be a problem. If they ask though, we'll just have to tell them that we found you in here...") She drifted off for a moment before focusing back on me. ("Uhm, will you... tell me where you come from? You never talk about it other than some vague details. I've left it alone so far but if we're...") Luna blushed, unable to finish the thought.

I sighed. ("This place... is different from where I come from. Like a totally different world. No magic, no monsters, no cute girls with pretty fox ears.")

She giggled. ("Sounds like this place is a lot better then,") She joked. ("Would you mind... telling me more about your home?")

I took a bite of my stew and thought about it. I suppose the only reason I was keeping any of this from them was because I didn't trust them before and I had already told her a little bit even though I left things vague. ("Sure. But it'll be a secret. Keep this between the four of us, and tell them that my past should be a secret too. I don't really know who I can trust.")

Then I started to recount the story of how I got here, the mountain, the fight with the umber hound, falling through the darkness, and landing in a cave that I later found to be a dungeon. I told her about being trapped under the wolf's body and the extreme nausea and pain that had followed soon after. Once I explained how I got there I explained a little about Earth. How fighting with swords, bows, and arrows, was common through our recorded history but that magic, beautiful foxgirls, and monsters like the frost salamanders, slimes, and umber hounds didn't exist.

She seemed disappointed that I knew even less about what had happened to me and my changing body than she did, from the look on her face I think she had assumed I was keeping that part secret too. I spoke a little bit about modern technology and tried to explain how the world works where I came from but this part seemed the most confusing part for her, full of words and jargon she didn't know. I tried to explain things like cars, TVs, and the internet but after a while she looked a bit skeptical so I changed the subject.

We kept talking through our watch and gave Maxwell and Piper another chance to sleep a little. After a while, our conversation turned to lighter topics as we waited for the others to wake up. All the while my pretty fox-eared prospective fiancé cuddled into my side.