<~> CHAPTER 4

I spent the next few hours searching down every path I could reach but I mostly found dead ends or tunnels that went up at such steep angles that I couldn't continue. I didn't run into any more of those gross humanoid creatures or any of those delicious but weird looking scavengers either. This place was mostly empty. I had explored most of the paths that surrounded my stream but I had been searching for hours before I found one that took me farther away from my little den.

The tunnel opened up into a huge cavern with glowing moss on the walls. For the first time since I fell down here, I could smell fresh air. There was a large hole in the ceiling hundreds of feet up that let moonlight reflect on the inside lake that pooled under it. It was at this moment that things really sunk in for me. I had to be somewhere else. It was too cold out, not the 80-degree nights I was used to in the desert this time of year.

I walked toward the lake and looked up at the moon through the hole in the ceiling. It was an odd moon. It was the same color and size but after looking at the moon I was used to countless times, it was obvious in an instant that the pattern on the moon's face was different. Well Helena, you're not in Kansas anymore. I smiled sadly at my own joke.

I looked around and noticed the top of the lake was placid. Unlike my stream, the lake was perfectly smooth and reflected the ceiling and moonlight like a mirror. I walked closer to the lake and finally took a good look at myself. I looked the same but also very different.

My eyes glowed a ghastly bright white that gave me an eerie look, reminiscent of the wolf that had tried to kill me. I hadn't noticed this earlier but I looked much more built than I had before too. I had gotten a much leaner body after training so much but now my body was muscular. I look strong now, like an MMA fighter or something. The changes weren't so pronounced that I didn't look feminine anymore but I was starting to get there. I was approaching the kind of musculature that would be hard to maintain without a very strict diet and/or steroids. What kind of caught me off guard though was my face. Despite the lack of shampoo or makeup, I looked prettier and healthier. If it wasn't for my creepy glowing eyes I would be a knockout now. A knockout that could knock you out. I giggled at my dumb joke.

Should I?

I took a deep breath and reached out for that feeling that let me change. It took hold and I felt my body growing. I watched myself in the lake as my body shifted. My body became covered in black smoke as my body grew larger. The smoke formed the head of a wolf and gave me a form somewhere between a biped and an animal. My claws grew out, my legs bent backward, and I grew a tail. When the transformation was complete I looked like a spitting image of the wolf that had tried to kill me. The only difference between us was the way my hands were shaped and my legs that allowed me to stand up like a werewolf.

I stepped away from the lake unsure how to feel. I felt powerful but different. The instincts in me made me want to Fight, dominate, feast. The human part of me almost wanted to reject my new body... but there was also a small part, deep inside, that was happy to be something bigger. Stronger.

With a sigh, I shifted back to my normal form and I suddenly realized that I never removed the fabric when I shifted, it had just disappeared. I was relieved to find that it hadn't been destroyed and didn't seem any worse for wear. Back in my... more normal form, the fabric felt comfortable and didn't even feel stretched out. My makeshift loincloth also felt perfectly fine. Despite changing in size all the time I wouldn't have to worry about my clothes ripping off, they just vanished whenever I shifted somehow. I wonder why it had happened to the clothes I was wearing and not before?

I looked around the lake. There were lots of other passages that branched off from here, so many that I was worried that I would get confused if I didn't go back to mark the opening I had come out of. After going back and thoroughly marking the edges of the one that led back to my den, I headed over to one of the other passageways.

The stone seemed especially smooth here as I walked through the first passage to the right of the lake. It felt cool to the touch like it was refrigerated. I was mostly naked but the cold air coming from the passageway felt kind of nice against my skin, it was like the feeling of stepping out of the bathroom after an especially hot shower. If it got too cold I would turn back, for now, it felt comfortable enough.

As I walked through the caves I heard something strange, like liquid pouring against the stone. Not a river, something slow. I crouched down and made my way closer to what I was hearing. I peeked around the corner and saw giant blue salamanders pouring clear blue mucus out of their mouths and onto the stone. The sight might have been gross to me before but I admit that my first reaction was to swallow down the saliva that was forming in my mouth while looking at them. They looked tasty.

I noticed the tunnel becoming more cramped before I realized that I had shifted again. My larger body was now crouched down as I peered around the corner. I don't know what I was waiting for, but I remained still and watched.

The monsters were spreading out their mucus across the stone causing frost and mist to spray up from it. The air in the tunnel became more cold as the mucus pooled out under them. A more rational part of my brain told me that these things might be dangerous, their spit looks freezing cold. But the predator in me said they were weak and they would taste good. There were four of them, each of them only a bit smaller than I was in my larger form. They crawled on all fours and looked like they were coated in that same frosty mucus, they each had slightly different patterns on their skin, a mixture of light blue and white with black stripes.

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One of the icy salamanders turned and finally noticed me. It started to squawk out a strange sound that I wouldn't have associated with reptiles. That was all the signal I needed. IT WAS TIME TO HUNT.

I bolted over to the closest of them and tried to dig my claws into its neck. The monster's skin was slippery and it managed to slide out from under my claws before it could gouge in. The mucus felt cold but my heart was now pumping with so much adrenaline that it barely registered. I would need to be wary of getting coated too much but just a few touches wouldn't harm me.

The two salamanders farthest away from me tried to run and the thought of letting them escape made my hackles rise. I was strong enough to fight all of them at once, I wouldn't let them flee. I bolted around the ones closest to me and pounced on the one farthest away from where I started, my fangs dug deep into its neck and I broke it with a snap.

A deluge of frost doused the side of my body as the other salamander sprayed me with its liquid ice. I jumped away from the corpse and around the one attacking me. A slice of my claws split its head into ribbons, the things were much more fragile than I expected. The moment I stopped to slash at the second the other two both tried to spray their cold at me in tandem.

I grabbed the neck of the one I had just killed and flung it at the others. The corpse slammed against one of them and knocked it on its back. Before that one could recover I leaped at the only one standing, it was still continuing to try and freeze me. I felt the ice-cold liquid painfully freezing my shoulder as I tried to circle it. I stayed low and kept my head out of the stream of frost before snapping up at the salamander's neck and biting right through. Cold blood painted my other side as I rushed to the last of the living salamanders.

It had barely managed to get back to its feet before I was on it again, this was the one that had spotted me originally. As it turned to face me again I was already on top of it, I flipped it right onto its back again and tore into the soft flesh of its belly. Something inside me told me to eat its heart. I swallowed the delicious meat in large bites while tearing through its chest to find my quarry. At last, I found it. I ripped out the creature's large throat muscles that were in my way and tossed them to the side before biting into its frozen cold heart.

Pleasure rushed through me as the cold feeling of the mucus faded away. It was like I could feel myself getting stronger as I took bite after bite of the salamander's flesh. My mind faded into the background as I reveled in the satisfaction I got from my feast. Time passed in a haze as I finished eating all of the salamanders. My strong desire for its heart had passed after eating the first of them. The rest I avoided with all of the other organ meat, my instincts didn't care for it anymore. When I finally pulled away I was fully satisfied again. They had been the best things I had tasted so far. Even better than the remains of the wolf I had eaten in my den.

I was sleepy and stuffed full but I knew this place wasn't safe to sleep in. I made my way back the way I had come and found the opening that led back to where I felt safest. My little den by the stream had the least number of monsters and I felt safer taking a dip in the small stream rather than in the big lake. I shook off the remains of the cold mucus, only realizing I had done so like a dog once I had finished.

With a grimace, I shifted myself back. I let my instincts get the better of me again. I shook my head. The instincts were so powerful and consuming. Especially when in the heat of battle and after, it's hard to fight against them. Then again, I haven't found anything else to eat in this place and the creatures I've eaten have been nourishing... and they taste so good. Most of them anyway. I was feeling better and stronger every day that I've been here. If I was hesitant to eat I would only be wasting away instead.

It still made me feel like an animal though. Like something that wasn't in control of their own mind and followed every impulse without question. What if my instincts told me to take something on that I couldn't win against, or eat something that made me sick? ...They haven't lied to me yet but I should at least be in control enough to make the choice right?

After walking back to my little stream I shifted back, slipped out of my clothes, and dipped myself into the water. I wasn't covered in blood this time thankfully but the warm water felt pleasant against my body and it was starting to become a small ritual after my trips through the caves. The warm water focused me and let me process everything that was happening.

I need to be in control of my own thoughts. I thought back to a yoga class I had taken in high school, it was just an elective to fill out my schedule but I ended up enjoying the class. My teacher had tried to teach us to meditate but it wasn't something that resonated with me at the time. Perhaps now it would help me gain some control over myself, help balance me out.

I slipped out of the stream and got dressed in my silk coverings again. I leaned against the wall and stared at the opening of my little den. I took a breath and listened to my body. I cleared all of my thoughts and just focused on every breath in... and out... I sat there for a while just focusing on my breathing, getting myself back on track as soon as my mind began to wander. In... and out...

After a while I started to feel tired so I shifted back to my wolfy form and laid down facing the opening. If one of those monsters came in and saw me like this, perhaps they would think twice about disturbing me. If something did try to attack me in my sleep, it would be easier to protect myself this way.

I closed my eyes and slept for the third time since getting lost in these tunnels.