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ULTRA SAGA
< X8: Blind Dates >

< X8: Blind Dates >

“You set us up with blind dates?! Are you nuts?!”

With a shrug of her shoulders, Reina responded to Tyger’s frustration with, “What’s the big deal?! Dates are fun! And it’s Valentine’s Day!”

He growled. “Dates are fun when they’re with people you like, not random-ass people!”

Off to the side, Cain scoffed. “As if you’ve ever been on a date.”

“Piss off.”

Reina planted both of her palms on the boys’ backs, shoving them through the curtain. “Relax! The dates are with people you know! It’s not like I got some random creepy rapists or whatever! Just grab a ticket and head to the room with the same symbol on it! If you’re lucky, you might even get me, heehee!”

Reluctantly, the boys both did as they were told, waiting in line and taking a ticket from the machine at the front, and searching for their designated room. There were several others in line, some of whom they recognized, but nobody seemed to want to speak to one another beforehand; the awkwardness of it all weighed heavily over the room, it seemed….

Tyger found his room first, stepping inside. The room itself was a strange void of blackness, with naught but a table in the center. While the table was lined with fancy utensils and even a vase with an array of pretty flowers, it still felt less “romantic” and more “creepy as shit.”

With a growl, he pulled his chair out and took a seat. His date had not arrived yet, which was fine. It gave him time to relax his rapidly-beating heart. Cain had been right before; Tyger had never actually been on a date before, and while part of him was intrigued by finally getting to experience one, these weren’t exactly the most comfortable circumstances for such a thing….

A few moments later, the door opened, and in stepped Cain.

Tyger’s jumped up to his feet. “Hey! The hell’re you doin’ here, blockhead?!”

Cain narrowed his eyes at Tyger, and then, without a word, promptly left the room.

Down the hall, Reina skipped along, humming a song to herself the whole way, ticket in hand. She was much more excited about this whole affair than the boys had been; it wasn’t that she was necessarily seeking true romance or anything, but she liked going on dates every now and again. She loved getting to know people, and she also loved getting a meal out of it as well.

Her blind date was already in the room, sitting at the table. She gave him an excited wave. “Oh, hi Zeo!”

Lance hesitated. “Uh….huh?”

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Reina skipped over to the table and took a seat, a bit disappointed there wasn’t already food available. “Sorry you didn’t get Annabelle, but hey! At least you got me, right? I’ve been told I’m pretty cute, heehee!”

With a shake of the head, Lance said, “Uh, Reina, I’m not Zeo. It’s….me, Lance….”

“….”

“….”

Reina burst out laughing. “Whoopsie! Haha! Sorry, sorry! You guys just look so alike!”

“We do?”

“Yeah, you’re both blond, and you both kinda have this sorta…. ‘generic protagonist’ face, ya know?”

He reached out towards one of the spoons in order to use it as a mirror. “I do….?”

Reina nodded. “Oh yeah, definitely! Hell, if you dyed your hair, I bet you could cosplay as, like, every main character in any anime ever, heehee!”

“Wow, I’ve….never heard that before, actually….”

“I mean, you don’t have to take it in, like, a bad way or anything! If you guys all have similar faces, that must mean people like looking at that, right?”

He forced a polite smile at her attempts at appeasing him. “I suppose so….Does that include you?”

“Oh, nah, sorry! You guys are a little too boring for my tastes! I like guys with, like, more rugged looks, ya know? Angrier eyes, maybe a cool scar or a big grizzly beard….Oh, and he’s definitely gotta be packing!”

“Packing?”

She held her hands out wide. “Packing.”

With a sigh, Lance dropped his chin onto his palm. “Maybe that’s why I haven’t had any luck….?”

“Hm?”

The generic young man shrugged his shoulders. “I haven’t really been with a lotta girls. I guess it’s because I look generic?”

“Hm….yeah, I mean, generic guys seem to get lots of girls in stories, but I feel like that isn’t really gonna fly here, ya know?”

When Lance failed to respond, instead choosing to stare wistfully into the black void around them, Reina clapped her hands together to get his attention. “Hey, c’mon, Ze- er, Lance! Perk up!”

“Hm?”

“Getting girls isn’t all about looks! Tell me more about yourself! There’s gotta be lots of interesting things about you to lure the ladies in!”

“Uh….well, my name’s Lance….”

“Mhm.”

“I’m nineteen….I, uh….I work at the Ecclesia….”

“Oh, a church boy, huh?” Reina said. “I’m sure there’s lotsa ladies who’d love to corrupt you!”

“Wh-what?”

The chameleon girl began to frantically snap her fingers. “C’mon, keep talkin’! Tell me more! Quit muttering and questioning everything! What are your hobbies?”

“Uh….”

“Seriously, dude?! What do you like to do?”

Lance shrugged. “I….kinda like going fishing.”

Reina began to tap her finger against her lips. “Hm….not the most exciting hobby, but it’s something, I guess….What else?”

“….”

“I….like to eat and play video games, I guess.”

“You and the entire rest of the planet!” She suddenly slammed her hands against the table. “You gotta set yourself apart! What’s your favorite food?!”

“Pizza….”

“Ice cream flavor?”

“Vanilla….”

“UGH! Ze-! Lance! Stop being so boring!” She leaned her head in all the way across the table until she was staring full-force into his own eyes, a fire burning within hers. “You ever break the law?! What’s your nastiest fetish?! You ever kill a man?! Gimme something juicy!”

Completely overwhelmed by Reina’s aggressive questioning, Lance blurted out, “I-I wanna bang Lady Raschell!”

The room went quiet before Reina slowly leaned back into her chair. Lance’s heart was racing like mad at the fact he’d just said what he said aloud, nervously anticipating some kind of consequence….

Instead, Reina clicked her tongue and shot him a finger gun. “Damn, dude, nice! That’s more like it!”

She suddenly spun around in her chair, holding her hand up. “Excuse me! When do we get our food?”

Lance slumped over, and his face hit the table.