Novels2Search
ULTRA SAGA
57: Wow! Free Soap!

57: Wow! Free Soap!

“Wow, free soap! That’s pretty cool!”

[HOW IS IT “FREE”? YOU HAD TO PAY FOR THE ROOM, YOU IMBECILE!]

“Yeah, but they’ve got free bars of soap here in the bathroom,” Rocky said, picking one up as he did. He peeled open the wrapper, revealing the red chunk of soap underneath; lavender, it seemed. “I didn’t pay for that.”

[BAH. EVIDENTLY YOUR BRAIN IS ALREADY DEAD. LET YOUR HEART FOLLOW SUIT.]

Whistling to himself, Rocky went ahead and started up the shower, but before he stepped inside, Rakshasa’s voice echoed around his skull.

[DO NOT TAKE ME IN THERE WITH YOU, YOU LUMBERING PILE OF GRAVEL!]

“Hey, you need a shower too,” Rocky replied. “When’s the last time you bathed?”

But ultimately the gargoyle relented, tossing Rakshasa’s key onto the countertop. He hadn’t really intended to bring the GODBREAKER into the shower with him; he’d just sort of forgotten that Rakshasa was a different entity for a moment.

He had to admit, the newfound privacy in the shower was quite nice. No more grouchy ol’ Rak grumbling in his mind. He was free to think about whatever he wanted in peace.

The box of confections. The street dumplings. The strip club he’d forgotten to go to. Onch….onchopin….pinoralism? Whatever that big word the captain had said to him earlier. And now this awesome, relaxing hotel room with free soap!

Redvein was proving to be an absolute bastion of new experiences, and Rocky hadn’t even scratched the surface yet! There were whole districts of the city he’d yet to go to, lots of new people to meet….oh, right! He also needed to figure out what made everything in the area so red, right?

Finishing off his shower, he took hold of a towel and started to dry himself off. The red fibers within were laced with fire attuned ULTRA Force particles, causing the towel to emit a cozy blanket of heat over the body, relaxing even Rocky’s rocky muscles.

“Oh, man, this place rules!” he said, stretching his arms high above his head. On his way out of the bathroom, he scooped up Rakshasa, who was quick to respond.

[THEN ALLOW ME TO ABANDON YOU HERE.]

But the gargoyle shook his head. “Nah. As nice as it is, I’m only staying here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll go try out a different place. Maybe we can find one of those really seedy motels. I wanna try one of those out!”

[BAH.]

The bed managed to be even more impressive than the free soap. While he hadn’t laid in very many beds yet, the ones he had hadn’t proven to be quite strong enough to handle his form, warping in shape or outright falling apart under the weight of his stone body. This hotel’s bed, however, enveloped him with an embrace of soft, cushiony goodness, and or the first time in his life, he was able to experience a bed the way everyone else had been.

“Oooooh, yeah! Daddy likes this!”

[SHUT UP AND SLEEP ALREADY! I TIRE OF YOUR VOICE!]

“Chill out, dude, I’m getting comfy. Here, lemme put the key down and you can feel how soft this bed is.”

[I DO NOT “FEEL” IN THIS VESSEL, YOU STUPID FOOL.]

“Huh? Really? I didn’t know th-”

He paused mid sentence, his ears picking up sounds originating from outside of the hotel room. Curious, he moved over to the window. There wasn’t much of a view from here; he was only on the second floor, and most of what was available to see were the rooftops of the strip mall neighboring the hotel.

But the sound had come from below, in the alley separating this side of the hotel from the mall’s stores. The clinking of metal, the shuffling of boots, and the sharp breaths of whispers.

He spotted a cluster of people scurrying down the alley, several of whom were brandishing weapons of some sort. Not especially impressive ones like swords, axes, or scorpion launchers, but a few humbler ones such as batons and knives.

“Ooh, what are those guys up to?” Rocky asked aloud.

[I CARE NOT.]

“You think maybe they’re a gang? Or maybe, like, an assassin’s guild or something cool like that?”

[I. CARE. NOT.]

“Let’s go follow them and find out!”

[I DESPISE YOU.]

* * * *

ULTRA ROCK

* * * *

Judging by the video feeds, the potential forcevein siphoners appeared to be a small squad. They didn’t seem to be heavily armed, carrying only a few daggers and a baton or two, which wasn’t especially impressive or threatening.

However, Captain Carmine could tell from the way they maneuvered that they were experienced. Measured steps, faces always obscured but never in a way that anyone would notice they were deliberately masking themselves, movements that never impeded each other despite zero outward communication between them. It was only when one was looking specifically for them that they could even be noticed.

Hell, the very fact they hadn’t already been caught and gutted by Carmine was probably proof enough that they were worth taking seriously, and she was set to do just that.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

Disappointingly, there were no guardian wards currently available in Redvein. The wards were special glyphs with unparalleled surveillance capabilities, but they were also largely under the domain of the Ecclesia da Ultra, and, after a nasty little incident involving guardian wards and spying that had nearly sparked a worldwide war, the church kept a tight leash on them. Carmine could certainly file a request for one, and she would likely be approved, but who knew how long that would take….

And so, she found herself forced to set up security the good ol’ fashioned way: by posting video cameras and a team of guards to watch over the north wing of the city hall building, which housed the only passageway leading to the forceveins underneath Redvein.

Of course, when dealing with a serious issue like forcevein siphoning, the captain would have loved nothing more than to patrol the streets all night until she found and thoroughly dealt with the thieves herself, but alas, she’d made a personal commitment to not work over night. Barring emergencies, of course.

She….did spend several minutes pacing back and forth at the entrance of the north wing, debating with herself whether or not she could justify the thieves as an emergency situation, but ultimately relented, and headed back to her apartment for the night.

“Babe, I’m home,” she called out as she slid off her boots by the front door. The apartment was nice and warm all throughout, as the forceveins made indoor heating simple and borderline free for the people of Redvein. The only sounds she could hear were coming from the tablet her boyfriend, Aren, had been watching videos on, as was his usual pre-bed ritual. “Quick question, just out of curiosity….do forcevein thieves count as an emer-?”

She paused mid-sentence as she pushed through the half-open door to the bedroom. Aren, a massive behemoth of muscle, had already fallen asleep, sprawled out on the bed with the tablet on his chest.

A smile made its way to her lips from the cuteness of the sight. And then, the sudden urge to sneak out of the apartment and head back to work surged through her. If he was asleep, he wouldn’t have noticed she’d come home already. She could say there truly was an emergency and she couldn’t leave work until it was solved. Ooh! The kaiju attack! Perfect! Perhaps she could leverage her having to deal with the fallout of that as a way to-

She’d halfway turned back around when Aren awoke with a yawn that could have come straight from the jaws of a bear, or perhaps a whale.

“Hey, hon,” he greeted, eyes still shut. “How was work?”

And with that, Captain Carmine was forced to admit total defeat, closing the bedroom door as the final nail in the “go-catch-those-thieves” coffin for the night. “It was, um, it was fine, babe. I have a security issue to deal with, but….I’m sure my men can handle it.”

“Good to hear,” Aren said, patting his enormous chest with his hand, prompting Carmine to slink in beside him and rest her head on the designated spot, as was usual for the couple. “Everything okay with that kaiju and that robot from the other day?”

“Yes. I met with the pilot and he’s a good man. I invited him into the city and he seemed to be having a great time exploring.”

“Oh, that’s good! Wish I could thank him for saving the town.” He paused for a moment, and when he continued, his voice was notably lower. “Those kaiju sure are scary, huh….?”

Carmine’s hand moved over to his, squeezing it to provide comfort. One might be a bit confused at the prospect of this bearded giant of muscle and scars needing such comforting, and many who had met him had indeed harbored said confusion, but Aren was the gentlest of giants who wouldn’t harm a spider even were it in the midst of injecting him with a lethal dose of venom. All of his muscle had come from farm work back home, and a discovered passion for bodybuilding, the latter of which carried him towards establishing the most popular gym in Redvein.

But the captain never minded that about Aren. She’d thought it adorable, really, and keeping him safe was something she took great pride and enjoyment in. From what she knew of his past, Aren had lived a life of tragedy, particularly surrounding his lack of a father, and the death of his mother at an early age, which only furthered her desire to protect him.

“What about your day?” she asked, guiding the conversation down another pathway. “Anything fun happen at the gym?”

“Oh, yeah, actually!” Aren replied, his eyes brightening in excitement. “We got a bunch of new members today! Enough to break our previous record of total members!”

She pecked him on the cheek. “That’s wonderful, babe. I’m proud of you.”

Aren snapped his fingers. “Oh, that reminds me! I was chatting with a few of the new members, and one of them just recently moved here from the capital!”

He was referring to the Libertan capital, Alttaelim. It was a massive, tower-like city built within a crater in the ocean to the northeast of the continent. It was often proclaimed to be one of the most beautiful and interesting cities in the world, and, historically, very few people ever chose to leave the place, making it a point of interest whenever someone decided to do just that.

“Oh really? What’d they say?”

“He said there weren’t really a lot of gyms there, so he suggested I open a new branch over there! He said I could probably make lots of money, and make a big impact in the community!”

Carmine winced. Aren had brought up the possibility of moving out of Redvein once or twice before, and she’d made sure to shut the conversation down as soon as it started. She hated the thought that she was keeping him from living his life, but there was just no way she could leave Redvein behind…. “Well, um, why don’t you just have one of your other employees establish a branch there?”

“Huh?”

“I’m sure one of them would love the opportunity! It’d be a promotion for them, you know?”

Aren smiled, stroking at his beard. “Yeah, I suppose it would…. Aw, I’d love to see the smile on their face when I tell them about it! Thanks, hon, that’s a great idea!”

As he planted a kiss on the top of her head, Carmine let out a sigh of relief.

* * * *

ULTRA ROCK

* * * *

Pursuing the thieves had actually proven quite difficult. For one thing, they moved quickly and efficiently, and they seemed to keep a strong awareness of the environment around them. Rocky, being a hulking mass of stone, didn’t exactly have the innate talent to be sneaky and stealthy, and so had to follow them from quite a far distance, and not directly, either. He was better off strolling along the sidewalk in the busier parts of the city whilst the forcevein thieves maneuvered in the alleys.

It….also didn’t help that Rocky would frequently become distracted by a vendor offering a brand new flavor of beef jerky, or a beautiful woman offering “activities” that (according to her), not even a succubi would be capable of conceiving of, let alone conceiving during.

“Man, there’s so many interesting things to do in this city!” Rocky said, momentarily pausing in his walk to observe a pair of stray robot dogs as they played around in a fountain of glowing red water. “You see anywhere I should go, Rak?”

[WHAT HAPPENED TO PURSUING THAT GROUP, YOU INCOMPETENT MORTAL?]

“Oh, right. Totally forgot about that.”

Fortunately for Rocky, Rakshasa had actually been paying a good amount of attention, and had not lost track of the group they were tailing. The GODBREAKER appeared to have some sort of means of seeing and hearing beyond what Rocky could, but when the curious gargoyle tried inquiring about those means, he was promptly met with a “SHUT YOUR GULLET, MORTAL. IT IS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN” and so on.

The trail took the deeper into the city, until they reached the massive city hall. This late into the night, all of the lights were off, but there were security guards patrolling the premises all around. Rocky elected to hide in a wall of bushes, his big black eyes scanning over the area.

“Where’d they go?”

[THE NORTH SIDE.]

“Gotcha!” The gargoyle took a step forward, but the GODBREAKER’s voice exploded around his skull.

[DO NOT WALK FORWARD, IMBECILE! THE GUARDS WILL SPOT YOUR LUMBERING ASS!]

“Well, where the hell am I supposed to go then?”

[AROUND THE EASTERN PERIMETER. STAY HIDDEN IN THE FOLIAGE. AND KEEP YOUR GROTESQUE MOUTH SHUT.]

With a laugh, Rocky replied, “Dude, I’m a gargoyle, remember? My face is stuck like this.”