“Guys, guys! We hit 1,000 views!”
The other members of Class G (except for Cain) all turned their attention to Reina, who was excitedly jumping up and down on the couch, phone in hand. The group had been lounging around together in a non-canon apartment, far away from the trials and tribulations that ordinarily came with being protagonists in a violent action sci-fantasy story.
“Nice!” Zeo said with a smile before returning his eyes to the television screen to ensure his party of heroes was not suddenly wiped out by the devastating attacks of the boss. “What’s that mean?”
Reina dropped her butt back down onto the couch with enough force to receive one final bounce upon impact. “I dunno! I just got a text from Bianca that said it!”
“Oh, Bianca?” asked Annabelle. “Tell her my mother says ‘hi!’”
Kiria shook her head. “Bianca never responds to messages. She doesn’t like to let anyone else have any power; we’re all supposed to adapt to her way of doing things.”
A beep from the kitchen cut through the air, prompting Tyger to push himself up from the floor. “Ooh, my cookies are done!”
“Coooookiiiiiieeeeees!” Reina screamed, leaping up to follow after him.
Meanwhile, Cain, judgmental as always, smirked. “You bake things now?”
“Ah, piss off,” Tyger replied, encasing his hand in an oven mitt before slamming it against his chest with gusto. “A hero’s got tons of talents, and always puts a smile on people’s faces!”
Taking a deep breath, Annabelle inched closer towards Zeo, angling her face up to watch him play his game. “A-are you winning, Zeo?”
He nodded his head, but kept his eyes locked on the screen. “Of course! I spent all day yesterday grinding and decking everyone out in the best gear! This boss is pretty damn strong, but as long as I keep my eyes on the boss, I can time my dodges and evade his atta-”
The television suddenly blinked a cool blue before a new image overtook the screen, as though it were a digital ocean that had suddenly devoured Zeo’s RPG, drowning it in its cold embrace. The screen blinked once more, and this time, the ever-smug face of Bianca appeared. “Hey, kiddos. Whatcha all up to?”
“H-h-hey!” Zeo stammered, nearly dropping his controller. “You’re blocking the game! I can’t see the-!” He felt the controller in his hands rumble ferociously -- the telltale sign of his party members being wiped away by the boss’s deadly attack. His face, heart, hands, and controller all sank into the very same deep ocean that his game had.
As Annabelle nervously tried to console him, Reina raced back into the living room, chewing on a snickerdoodle cookie. Well, she tried to, but it was still a bit too hot, making the eating experience more painful than was ideal. “Hi, Bianca!”
“Is this about the text you sent?” Kiria asked.
“Yuppers.” The group watched as Bianca leaned back in her chair, kicking her feet up. She reached over for a cup of soda from, of course, Ulty’s, sipping at the straw. “We got a whopping 1,000 views on this bad boy. Exciting, huh?”
Reina was the only one who seemed to agree. The others all exchanged glances between each other, confusion on each of their faces.
“Um, Bianca....?” Annabelle finally asked. “What does that mean, exactly?”
“It means exactly what it says, Little-Miss-Pointy-ears. We got 1,000 views.”
In unison, Cain and Tyger reacted with two unique conveyances of annoyance; the former with a roll of the eyes, and the latter with an aggressive bite of a cookie.
Kiria, on the other hand, at least made an attempt to keep her irritation at Bianca’s answers on the downlow. “Is 1,000 views impressive?”
“Lemme check,” Bianca said before typing away on her laptop. “From looking at our competition....nope. Not even remotely.”
Cain’s eyes narrowed. “What competition? I won’t accept losing.”
“The other ones.”
“The other what, woman?!”
But of course, no clarification came from Bianca’s end. The blue-haired computer girl simply spun around in her swivel chair. After making a full rotation, she leaned closer to the camera and smiled. “But, while 1,000 views isn’t very impressive for the rest of us, I figured it was probably a bigger accomplishment than any of you have had in your lives, so I figured I’d tell you so you guys could celebrate.”
“Shove it up yer ass!” Tyger barked before passing the plate of cookies to Annabelle and Zeo.
“I think it’s awesome!” Reina cheered, slithering in between pinky and blondie to snatch another cookie. “1,000 views! Woooo!”
Knowing they weren’t going to get anywhere else on this topic, Kiria decided to steer the chat elsewhere. “Are you in the G13 room, Bianca? Is Lady Sariah with you?”
“What? Hell no! Why would I be at work?” Bianca responded, although it was a bit difficult to tell, as she had decided to grab a bag of potato chips, making sure to crinkle it as loudly as possible as closely to the mic as she could get away with. When she popped the bag open, she couldn’t help but grin devilishly as Annabelle threw her hands up to her sensitive ears. “Our first Arc finished, so we’re on vacation, kiddos.”
“Oh wow, really?” Zeo asked. He had no idea what she was talking about with this ‘Arc’ business, but he knew it would be futile to ask. “How you gonna spend your vacation?”
“I dunno,” she said. “Take naps. Eat ice cream. Watch a lotta porn.”
The apartment living room suddenly exploded in protest. Kiria brought her fingers to her forehead in frustration, Reina made a vomiting noise, Annabelle blushed and decided to focus her attention on the carpet, etc. All of the Class G members themselves watched porn, of course, but having someone else announce their viewing of it to them out of the blue like that, especially when that someone else was Bianca, was just a little bit too much for the goofy eighteen-year-olds to handle with grace.
“So anyway, yeah. Enjoy your little 1,000 view milestone celebration, kiddos! I know accomplishments don’t come often to you, so make sure to savor it! Toodles!”
And with that, the screen blinked back to black. And then, a second later, it returned to Zeo’s video game. More specifically, the Game Over screen.
“Well, that sure was something, huh?” Zeo asked, chuckling. His motivation to fight through the grueling boss battle once more had been shot, so he decided to turn the console off and return to it another time. “I still don’t get what she meant, though.”
“It don’t even matter, man,” said Tyger, taking a seat on the floor again. He grabbed a cookie to bite into it, but Reina, who had been camouflaged beside him, suddenly appeared, snatching it out of his hand before scurrying away. “Oi!”
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
Sensing that the mood of the room had soured a bit, Annabelle nervously tried her best to alleviate the situation. She stood up tall (well, short) in the center of the living room, clapped her hands together, and bowed her head with grace and dignity befitting a member of the nobility. “Thank you for 1,000 views, everyone! We are eternally grateful for your support!”
Unfortunately for Annabelle, her display did not seem to reignite everyone’s smiles. All that followed was a heavy silence. When she raised her head back up to scan the room, it was with a sense of dread.
“Um, Lady Annabelle....?” Kiria began. While the confusion in her voice was apparent, it also thankfully came with a layer of motherly concern. “Who are you talking to?”
“Th....the viewers....? A-at home….?”
“But we’re not filming anything right now....There’s nobody watching us....”
“....oh....”
Cain shook his head. “She was just feeding us crap,” he stated. “You should be ignoring everything that comes out of that woman’s mouth anyway, not just this.”
“Aw, c’mon guys, don’t be like that!” Reina said, hopping back into her previous seat on the couch beside Kiria. “I think it’s awesome!”
“You think everything’s awesome,” noted Tyger.
She scooped her legs up and folded them into a criss-cross position. She then reached over and retrieved her phone, opening up a note-taking app. “If you guys don’t think 1,000 views is worth celebrating, that’s okay! We’ll just have to shoot for an even bigger view count! Like....a billion views!”
Kiria shook her head, but smiled the whole time. “Sure, Reina. Whatever makes you happy.”
“So let’s start brainstorming ideas!” the chameleon girl chirped.
“Ideas for what?” Zeo asked.
“How to get a billion views!” Her thumb began to type away at the virtual keyboard on the screen. “I’ll start! Idea number 1: all the boys have to be shirtless from now on!”
Tyger nearly choked on his snickerdoodle. “What the hell kinda idea is that?!”
Beaming, Reina replied, “Fanservice, dummy! People love half-naked boys! Especially when they’re toned and ripped like you guys! We’ll easily get a couple million views for that idea alone!”
“That’s completely idiotic,” Cain said. “First of all, nobody would line up to see Tyger shirtless.”
“What?! You wanna get yer ass thrown into outer space?!”
“Settle down, boys,” Kiria warned.
Cain ignored Tyger to return to his previous argument. “And second of all, if you want fanservice, why would it just be the guys?”
“He’s got a point,” Zeo said. “Fanservice is way more popular when it’s about girls, ya know?”
“We can’t have us girls be half-naked!” Reina retorted. She pointed her hand over to Annabelle, who was blushing at the very thought. “Annabelle is nobility! She can’t be half-naked! That’s probably, like, illegal or something!” Her hand then moved over to Kiria. “And Kiria would never agree to it.” Kiria nodded in affirmation.
“What about you, then?” Tyger asked. “Since it’s yer idea anyway.”
A comical pout appeared on her lips. “Because I’m too flat-chested....”
Kiria patted her head, but the chameleon girl bounced right back to high-energy mode. “Okay! Idea number two: controversy!”
“Controversy?” Annabelle asked, head tilting to the side like a wilting flower.
“Uh huh! Controversy gets tons of views! So we have to do something crazy!”
“Like what?”
Reina brought her finger up to her lips, tapping it rhythmically against them as her eyes slowly panned around the room. She finally settled her eyes on Tyger, pointing at him, and then swiveling her arm over to Annabelle. “Tyger! Say something racist about elves!”
“Wh-?! Hell no! A hero isn’t racist!”
“Oh, true….um....” Her eyes darted around to the other members. “Hey, Zeo? Do you have any pets?”
“Uh....my brother has a dog, yeah. Why?”
“Record a video of you kicking it!”
Kiria reached over and pulled Reina’s phone from out of her hands. “That’s enough of that, Reina. This has gotten way out of hand. I think you've had too much sugar."
Reina frowned as she looked over at Kiria. She then paused for a moment before glancing across the room at Cain, who had long since abandoned the group discussion to read some book about philosophy or poetry or whatever. “Ooh! New idea! Kiria and Cain should make out!”
While the two had been the most calm and composed up until that point, upon hearing those words uttered, their eyes damn near burst out from their skulls.
Annabelle and Zeo were also surprised. The elven girl’s hands shot up to cover her agape mouth, while Zeo could do nothing but chuckle. “Hey, that’s not too weird a pairing, is it?”
“R-Reina!” Kiria said, flicking her finger against the chameleon girl’s skull. “Knock it off, already!”
“Pr-preposterous....!” came Cain’s response, returning his eyes to the pages of his book, although he very clearly wasn’t actually reading the words printed within them.
“Shipping is super popular!” Reina said, beginning her explanation of the idea. “We gotta cash in on that!”
Raising an eyebrow, Tyger asked, “Why those two?”
“Well, Zeo and Annabelle are obviously gonna be paired together,” Reina explained, which sent the two into a shared fit of embarrassment. “And people will probably pair me and Tyger together cuz we’re both Beasterizers and people are racist like that. So that just leaves Kiria and Cain left. The two tall, serious, smarty-pantses! It’s like a power couple!”
“Huh....” Tyger looked back and forth between the two, munching on a snickerdoodle. “I can kinda see it....”
The awkward air kept the room drowned in silence, but a savior -- a knock at the front door of the apartment -- appeared.
“Ah, the pizza’s probably here,” Zeo said, pushing himself up to his feet. He made his way through the living room. Just before he could leave the room, though, Tyger jabbed a hand out into him, holding a few bills in his hand. “Oh, right, thanks!”
He opened up the door, and there stood an inhumanly tall being clad in shining silver-white armor. “Oh, hey, U-Knight! I didn’t know you worked at Pure Power Pizza.” With a sheepish grin, he then asked, “So....could you get us a discount?”
The U-Knight didn’t budge an inch.
Zeo sighed, holding out the cash in exchange for the pizzas. “Ah, it was worth a shot. Have a good day!”
After shutting the door behind him, Zeo headed back to the living room. “Pizza’s here!”
The awkward tension in the room seemed to have died down, thankfully, as everyone gathered around the kitchen counter to retrieve their slices. Veggie for Cain and Annabelle, meat lover’s for Tyger and Reina, a supreme for Kiria, and plain cheese with no sauce for Zeo, which elicited mockery from the others.
“What movie are we watching?” Annabelle asked, taking a seat on the floor next to Zeo, close to the TV.
Kiria handed the remote over to Zeo as she answered, “Tyger rented some kung fu movie or something.”
“It ain’t just some kung fu movie!” he growled. He, too, chose to sit on the floor, albeit with his back against the couch that Kiria and Reina were sharing. “It’s ULTRA DRAGON! It's gonna be awesome!”
“Wow,” said Zeo as he navigated to the specified film. “Is this the first time Tyger hasn’t chosen a superhero movie?”
“Yup,” Annabelle answered with a laugh.
Reina positioned herself horizontally across the couch in order to rest her head on Kiria’s lap. Her tail reached over to Tyger’s head, teasingly poking his cheek. “He just wants to watch it so he can look at the main actress!”
“Piss off....” he grumbled rather unconvincingly.
Cain leaned back comfortably in the recliner like an absolute king. “Martial arts movies don’t portray combat properly, but I suppose it could provide some inspiration to hone my techniques.”
The edge of Kiria’s lip curved up. “He’s trying to pretend he’s not excited for it, too.”
“Quiet.”
And so, the six members of Class G enjoyed another one of their (non-canon) little movie nights. They had a pleasant time together, enjoying the movie, pizza, and cookies to varying degrees, and falling asleep at different intervals. A suitable celebration for their milestone achievement of 1,000 views, whether they intended for it to be or not.