After we both took a much-needed break when she fetched our refills, we sat down to continue our rather deep and surprising conversation.
“So, Ben. I remember your wife when you moved in. I haven’t seen her, and I noticed evidence of a ring that’s no longer there. I’ve cracked the book open for stories of heartbreaks and I’m guessing you have one to share if you’re willing?”
“My soap opera is a little more mundane, but the outcome has some similarities.”
I launched into my tale of woe. I wish I was as gathered together as she was during her turn, but my eyes didn’t cooperate the way I’d hoped. About halfway through my story, she moved her chair closer next to me and took my hand. Her touch was pure electricity. It made me feel like I could conquer anything and pulled me through with a strength I didn’t have on my own.
When I finished she could tell I was on the edge of losing it. I thought I was past the tears stage, but somehow telling her was more intimate and agonizing than I imagined. She quietly got up and moved toward me, turned and sat on my lap with her legs over the arm of the chair, and just embraced me. I didn’t sob, but tears flowed onto her shoulder.
Somehow, I wasn’t embarrassed at all about my emotions. It felt natural with her. Plus, they weren’t tears just for the hurt of the past. Her story had me emotional to start with so our two stories compounded my feelings. But that set of tears had a large element of joy. Her comfort warmed me. Her presence excited me.
As she held me, she talked softly into my ear. “I know you’re emotional and you probably want to feel embarrassed. Don’t be! The depth of your feelings tells me more about you than words ever could. You’re quite a man, Ben.”
She paused like she was unsure of what to say next. But when she uttered her thoughts, a bolt of energy surged through me.
“Don’t think me too forward. I don’t want to scare you away… but you’re the kind of man I’d like to get to know much better!”
Stolen novel; please report.
Her words filled me with joy. I felt like I was suddenly awakened from months of slumber. The hope within me overflowed. I hugged her a little tighter and whispered, “That doesn’t scare me at all. It may be the best news I’ve ever heard!”
We stayed in the embrace for a few very comfortable moments. Then the familiar sound of young energy bounded around the corner of the house. “I’m hungry, mommy!” Mattie shouted, oblivious to the scene in front of her.
Hanna was much more aware and stopped in her tracks at the sight of us hugging on the chair. She didn’t say a word, but the most beautiful smile broke out. Laura and I both saw it with great amusement and relief.
I looked at my watch and it was 5:30. We talked for four-and-a-half hours that went by far too quickly. Laura got up and my lap felt the emptiness.
“I guess I’ll go put the lasagna in the oven. Ben, you’re staying for dinner.” It wasn’t a question. It was an expectation.
“Absolutely.” I smiled. “Let me go home a minute, clean up, and grab some wine that will go great with dinner.”
“That sounds like a good plan.”
She stood before me just a few feet away. Before she turned to go inside, she smiled and looked warmly into my eyes. In that quick gaze I sensed her understanding and a deep connection. I etched that moment in mind and resolved to cherish it forever.
But even more breathtaking… there was a glow in our shared gaze that confessed the beginning of longing for each other. It wasn’t one-sided. It was mutual. There was promise in that look. I wondered if the cloud hanging over me was finally lifting. I didn’t know what the days ahead would bring, but I sensed that maybe, just possibly, the answer to my prayers was right next door all along. I wanted to be cautious, but the heart wants what it wants.
‘Be still my heart. Don’t jump to conclusions too fast!’ my mind shouted. A wonderful internal battle had started. My heart and mind needed to meet and agree. I needed to pause, take a deep breath, take stock, and be careful. But I was wide open to the possibilities. And, oh, how marvelous those possibilities seemed.
Laura slowly regained her composure although she was clearly a little flustered. “Just, aaah… walk in the back door when you get back.” She hesitantly turned toward her back door while I started to walk toward my house. I was walking on air.
I took a quick shower since the garden work left me feeling a bit grungy. I stood in the warm water just reflecting on the most wonderful afternoon within memory. My body and emotions both felt a cleansing. And my mind wouldn’t stray from that most memorable moment. That look!
I thought of all the things I felt when I first saw her, all those trying events we shared, and the raw emotions laid out before each other. In one afternoon, I gained pure admiration and respect for Laura. I dwelled on her strength and character and that one, amazing look!
I offered an immediate prayer of thanks and asked for guidance. I had some immediate desires on my heart too and selfishly asked for them to come true.
I quickly dressed, grabbed two bottles of my favorite wine, and returned with a purpose in my step. In less than a day, my mind and my heart realized that Laura has transformed from a friendly next-door neighbor into the possible answer to prayer. I even felt, with some level of assurance, that she may feel the same. I hoped there would be even more clarity by the end of that evening.