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Two Broken Roads
Chapter 21. How Much to Forgive?

Chapter 21. How Much to Forgive?

My parents stayed in the master suite for the night while my sister and I each used one of my guest rooms. I couldn’t sleep from the excitement. Laura had no idea what I was planning. I just hoped she’d like it.

Sunday morning, we all got up in time for the breakfast my mom and Laura whipped up before we left for worship service. It was great having Mom, Dad, and my sister with me. They hadn’t been to my church in a while and they seemed to like it, although my dad complained about the volume of the praise band. “Can’t hear myself sing,” he bellowed. I told him that God was the audience for his singing, not himself. He harrumphed but smiled.

Laura had reported over breakfast that her family was available both weekends too. So, the church’s availability was the only remaining hurdle. After the service, Laura and I set a time to meet with the pastor the next day to nail things down and get our mandatory pre-marriage counseling.

All the regular crew plus my family had a great time at the restaurant after church. My parents and sister took off for home right from the restaurant, and Bobby and Sarah came over for their weekly visit. Sarah and Laura were at the kitchen table making a list of tasks and ideas to pull this wedding off so quickly. Bobby and I played with Hanna and Mattie and managed to keep our distance from the wedding scheming.

I noticed Laura and Sarah had put away their tablets and were just talking. It didn’t look like a happy conversation, so I admit I was a little worried. Then Laura called me over to join them.

“Is something wrong?” I asked as I sat at the table. “You two don’t look happy.”

Laura responded, “No, we’re happy. It’s just… well… Sarah has a request from a friend that she needs to ask you about.”

“Okay. What’s up?” Sarah looked worried, so I held her hand to ease her tension.

“Megan would like to meet with you tonight,” she hesitantly blurted out.

I fought the shock of the moment, but I had been feeling the need to get some closure. I guess Megan felt the same way. I had forgiven Megan in my heart, but others were involved now so I wouldn’t decide this myself.

I looked at Laura. “Is that all right with you?”

“If it helps you both wrap up things, I’m okay with it. I’m just worried about you.”

I looked at Sarah and said, “Man, I love this woman!” They both smiled, and each gave me a peck on the cheek.

I continued. “You both know I’ll always care about her. I can’t make that go away and I don’t think any of us want it to go away. I’ve forgiven her. I had to for her sake and mine. I’ll never forget what she did, and I could never be involved with her romantically, but I’ll always love her the same as I would any friend.”

“She’s coming in an hour if I call her and give her the go-ahead,” Sarah noted. “Do you want to meet her at your place?”

“That works for me. But I don’t want to meet with her alone. Laura and I will not keep secrets. And even if Megan was my wife once, my full commitment is to Laura and I won’t meet alone with any other woman. Sarah, I’d like you there for Megan and Laura, too. Can Bobby stay with the girls?”

Bobby was listening in and yelled, “I’d love to!”

“Okay, everybody?” I asked. Laura and Sarah nodded yes. “Then please call her, Sarah.”

About an hour later, Megan’s car pulled into my driveway. Sarah went to greet her and bring her around to my patio.

“Hi, Ben,” Megan said rather weakly.

I wasn’t sure how I would greet her but went with my instincts and gave her a restrained hug. I felt her breathe a sigh of relief.

“It’s good to see you, Megan. You’re looking well,” I lied. She looked somehow much older and worn down.

“Megan, I want you to meet my fiancée, Laura Wilson.”

Laura gave Megan a warm hug and a friendly smile. “I think we met in the driveway once, but it’s good to see you!” I hoped that Laura was as comfortable as she appeared.

“Yes. I remember. It’s good to see you again, Laura. And, congratulations! I know this is a little weird, but I really mean it when I say you’re getting a damn good guy.”

Laura, not quite sure how to respond to that, just said, “Thanks.”

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I was anxious to get the conversation going “Let’s take a seat and get comfortable. Laura and Sarah made some fresh lemonade to enjoy while we chat.” We sat around a small round table with Megan directly across from me, Laura on my right, and Sarah on my left.

Megan started to open up as to why she wanted to see me. Her tension was obvious as she wanted to clear up the lies of her past.

I was troubled on many levels about the things she unloaded. She started by saying that she was living in lies the whole time she knew me. The rumors in high school about her were true. She was promiscuous to the extreme. I thought back to all the fights I had defending her honor, and I learned that I was in the wrong. She admitted that she held onto me like a security blanket. I was the kind of guy she wanted, but she couldn’t fight the girl within her that wanted the bad boys. It somehow fed a need she couldn’t describe.

Now I knew for sure why she seemed to know what to do in bed on our wedding night. I was the only virgin that night by a long shot.

She also said that Michael (I finally learned his name) wasn’t her only lover in college. She said she didn’t even know why she was drawn to him. She admitted she moved in with him when she left.

“Sorry I lied about that on that night,” she added. “I stupidly thought it was making it easier for you, but I really didn’t want you to know what I am. So… I was really trying to make it easier for me, I guess.”

She went on to tell us he made her leave about six months after she went to live with him. He treated her terribly, then told her he got what he wanted from her and she needed to take off. Then she did go stay with her sister and was still there.

My anger about this guy burned within. I had a strong desire to hurt him badly.

“Did you know about all this stuff with Michael?” I asked Sarah.

“For the most part, yes. Megan didn’t want you to know because… well… she felt ashamed. But frankly, I didn’t want you to know yet either because I care about you!”

“You were probably right to keep that to yourself, Sarah.”

Megan continued by telling us that her sister, who was a Christian, got her in touch with a counselor and support group. Megan found a new job but soon needed to move out of her sister’s place. So, she was not sure where she was going to live. Her finances were a wreck, but she saw a light at the end of the tunnel.

Then she looked at me with a pitiful hurt in her eyes. “Ben, the counseling has really helped me. I’m turning my life in the direction it should have always been.”

Her tears started to flow. I knew what was coming.

She continued. “I’ve asked forgiveness of everyone except the one I hurt the most.” She was openly sobbing now. “Ben, I screwed up the best thing that ever happened to me and hurt the guy that deserved so much better.” She had lost control as Sarah and Laura moved to comfort her.

A few moments passed as she gathered herself before continuing. “I know we’re done, Ben. Sarah has told me how happy you and Laura are, and how her two little girls have already made you their dad. I can see your love for each other from a mile away. So, don’t ever think I want to screw that up.”

She needed a few more moments. “Ben, I’m asking for something you don’t owe me, but I need to ask anyway. Can you ever… can you forgive me?

She lost it completely. Laura nodded at me to go to Megan. I moved over to her, knelt next to her chair, and embraced her. I let her cry it out a little, and when I thought she could listen I gave her my answer.

“Megan, I forgave you in my heart a long time ago. It took a lot of prayer to get me to that point, but I honestly have forgiven you. I pray for you every night that you will be blessed to know healing from whatever caused your actions, and that you would find happiness. God has blessed me by bringing Laura into my life. I want the same thing to happen for you. Consider this, though. You have the forgiveness of all of us around you. Megan, please… you’ve got to forgive yourself. It’s in the past and you need to let it go too!”

Laura was hugging me from behind. Sarah was next to Megan as she cried herself out.

Finally, Megan was able to respond. “You really are a good guy, Ben. If I hadn’t been so stupid and mixed up, I would have known just how good you are.”

“It’s all in the past now, Megan. Let’s all just look forward.”

Megan looked at Laura. “Be good to him. He’s worth it.”

“I know he is, and he proves it every moment.”

We sat that way for a few more moments. Then Megan said, “I probably should go.”

“Megan,” I said. “Please stay a little while to calm down a bit. Take a few minutes and talk with Sarah. I need to talk with Laura, but we’ll be back.”

She thanked me, and Laura followed me into my house. I didn’t know if she would agree with an idea that came across my brain, but I had a sense she would.

The night after our engagement, I opened my whole life to Laura, including my finances. Since going out on my own, my income had more than tripled with even more promising opportunities in the works. I wasn’t rich, but we were going to do well. No one else knew about this until I told Laura. At the same time, Laura told me that she did have life insurance on her ex that paid her nearly five hundred thousand, most of which she still had. Financially, we were in good shape.

“Sweetie, when Megan left she really didn’t ask for much. She thought she was going to live with some rich guy who would take care of her. She doesn’t know how well I’ve done since she left.”

“You’re not talking about giving her money?” she asked. “I think she would be insulted and it may even hinder her progress towards recovery.”

“No,” I answered. “I think you’re right, but we talked about selling both houses and getting something that all our memories can hold without the more painful ones from the past. Plus, we talked about having enough room if our family grows. And by the way, I’m looking forward to doing the stuff that makes a family grow!”

“You have a one-track mind!” she laughed. “Glad I’m on the same track!”

Our smiles met with a kiss.

“Anyway,” I continued, “Megan never put a claim on the house and signed it all over to me. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to fix her short-sighted mistake. I’d like to give her an option of us selling it and giving her the half she could have demanded in the divorce, or putting her back as co-owner and paying half the mortgage. She would cover utilities and upkeep. Any major improvements or repairs we’d also split. We’d share and taxes and mortgage. If she decides to sell, we’d split the equity we’ve built.”

Laura nodded in agreement. Another option came to my mind.

“I just happened to think. We may not want to be in a financial relationship. A third option is to let her live here until she’s ready to move on, pay rent equal to half the mortgage, and then sell it, in effect using the same as option one when she’s ready to move on. What do you think?”

She looked at me with love in her eyes. “I think we should do it and give her all three options. She can let us know any time before the wedding.”

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

“I EXTREEEMELY love you too! You really are a good guy, Ben.”

“Thank you, sweetie. Thank you for believing in me and my motives… and crazy ideas!” Our mouths met passionately and with resolve to put our plan in motion.

“Let’s go talk to her!” she said with true excitement. What a woman I’m marrying!

Megan listened to our offer with surprise, shock, gratitude, tears, and a ton of other emotions. She didn’t see this coming.

“Ben… Laura! You don’t have to do this!” she said. “You don’t owe me this and I really don’t expect it!”

I was glad Laura responded. “Megan, Ben feels you made a mistake in the separation because you were being misled by a real jerk who promised you false security. We don’t feel right benefitting from that. Please accept our offer to correct this!”

Megan hugged Laura with some more tears. Yes, this was an emotional meeting.

As she gathered herself, she gave her answer. “I can’t believe how kind the two of you are… I don’t deserve this. But thank you so much. I’ll think about it and let you know. I’ll need to know what the costs look like, but my first thought is your second option may work best for me. Ben, can I call you next week to understand the monthly costs? Then I can let you know.”

“That’s fine,” I said. “I’ll put together a spreadsheet tomorrow to prepare for when we talk numbers.”

“You two are too much,” she added. Her face changed to a look of concern. “I just thought, this means we would be next-door neighbors for a little while. Ben, is that okay with you?”

“Megan, I don’t know how long it will be until we sell, but yes… Laura and I are okay with it. As we’ve said, forgiveness is now behind us. We both still care about you and want what’s best for you. It may even help to have us here while you get settled, so don’t let that worry you. Okay?”

She hugged us both in a three-way embrace and said her goodbyes.