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Two Broken Roads
Chapter 6. Misser Ben

Chapter 6. Misser Ben

Sarah, Bobby, and other friends tried to fill the void in my life. I was not good at being alone, but the energy going into my business kept my thoughts occupied.

I knew when the time was right, love would be out there somewhere for me. I wondered what it would be like. Would it just be a comfortable love or a hot and heavy passion-filled love? I hoped for the latter but felt myself willing to settle for a companion and friend. My prayers started to include a request for the right woman to come my way, and I asked that I would clearly recognize her when I saw her.

As I slowly worked my way out of my self-imposed shell I started to make more friends in the neighborhood. Megan and I moved there in September, which was about three months before she left. The fall and winter in Illinois didn’t provide the ideal setting for outdoor cookouts or casual meetings, so I hadn’t really met any neighbors since the lovely woman next door and an older couple welcomed us to the neighborhood with cookies and some freshly baked bread. Other than that, most neighborly contact consisted of friendly waves and smiles.

Warm weather made its welcomed return. With yard work and casual strolls, I started to get to know more of the folks in my neighborhood. Tom and Fran were the nice older couple that lived across the street and had greeted Megan and me with a loaf of bread when we moved in. Peg and Bill lived next to them on the right with their 3 teenage sons. They were good kids but dealing with three boys that age kept them hopping.

Joe lived next door to the right of my house. He was in his seventies and since his wife had passed several years earlier, he started considering selling to live near his son in a retirement community. He was a sweet guy but pretty lonely. I liked it when we could share a beer once in a while just to chat or watch the Cubs on my big screen. We were two lonely guys keeping each other company over adult beverages.

I frequently saw my neighbor to the left because our driveways ran parallel and only a few feet apart. I never saw the man-of-the house, only Laura and her two girls. Laura was the sweet woman that greeted our arrival in the neighborhood with homemade cookies. We exchanged a number of friendly waves and smiles and I felt an instant like for her. We talked briefly on occasion, but I never liked to interact with women when their husbands weren’t there to avoid any appearance of impropriety.

Even so, I couldn’t help but watch her as she interacted with her children. In a brief conversation, as she loaded her girls in the car one cold winter day, she introduced her two daughters. Hanna was a bright and cheerful nine-year-old. Her three-year-old sister, Mattie, was the cutest thing ever and entirely precocious. Hanna and Mattie played outside a lot, so I saw them frequently and often had the chance to talk with them.

As the weeks passed, I often felt my mind drifting to warm thoughts about Laura. I still didn’t know much about her, but what I knew for sure was that she was a beautiful woman. It wasn’t hard to see how nice she was. She was always smiling. And as a mother… her girls were sweet and obedient to her. I never heard a raised voice from next door. In contrast, I heard Peg and Bill shouting a lot of threats and rebukes from across the street. Maybe it was the difference between raising boys and girls. Somehow, though, Laura seemed like gender wouldn’t matter as to how her children were raised. I hoped I would meet her husband sometime so we could comfortably become friends.

Spring threatened to turn into early summer. I noticed I still hadn’t seen nor met a man living in Laura’s house. It became even more evident that there may not be one since Laura did all the yard work and maintenance chores including the trash. That was a dead giveaway that there was no man in the picture. But I wasn’t going to jump to conclusions. Maybe he traveled a lot. But I never saw a car other than the one Laura drove. I considered asking Joe about her during one of our beer visits, but I shrugged it off and guessed I’d just figure out Laura’s home dynamics at some point. Joe would tell me what he knew, but leaning on the gossip grapevine was not my style.

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Mattie and Hanna constantly played outside as the weather warmed. Both were very outgoing and VERY talkative, so when I worked outside they often came over to see me. We enjoyed teasing each other and had a lot of marvelous chats. I found myself really looking forward to their impromptu visits. I learned of ballet, Veggie Tales, JoJo Bows, and tons of other things I never knew existed. These two girls were beyond adorable. They started calling me Mr. Ben and it warmed my heart every time they did. They adored their mom and mentioned her often, but never anything about Dad and I didn’t feel I should broach the subject with them.

On a very hot Saturday late in May, I decided to do some weeding, which was a job I hated with a passion, but it had to be done. I was busy pulling the offending growth from the ground while I hummed quietly to myself to make the task seem more pleasant. Hanna and Mattie were playing hop-scotch in their driveway and decided that having a chat with me would be more fun.

As we talked, and by that I meant that they talked and I listened, I sat back on the lawn to take a welcomed break from my despised task and enjoyed my two visitors. The girls playfully plopped down with me on the grass. Hanna was telling me with great enthusiasm all about her favorite TV shows with Mattie chiming in. I was having a great time with these two treasures.

Then I noticed Laura wandering toward us.

I had admired her from a distance for months. Somehow, all those pleasant thoughts of the past compressed within me and caused a surge of powerful attraction. The pleasant sensations felt foreign and strong. Every nerve was stimulated. Every thought my brain could produce was rushing my full attention to the vision heading my way. Goosebumps popped up over every part of me. Yes, she was a beautiful woman. But whatever I felt was more than admiring God’s handiwork.

I remembered first seeing Laura shortly after we moved in. I recalled thinking she was a very attractive “girl next door” type. At that point, I thought I was happily married, so my brain never wandered to consider her otherwise.

But now I was freed from the marital bonds I held sacred. I saw her walking towards me as if I never noticed her before. I couldn’t control what I was feeling.

Her smile radiated from a place deep within her. I beheld her beauty as if I had never witnessed it before. Bright blue-gray eyes captured my attention and drilled deep into the core of my very existence. Something stirred within me causing butterflies and a warm glow. Her long, light brown hair flowed around her perfectly framing the most gorgeous face I had ever imagined. I swore I could see an aura around her that would put the sun to shame. In one instant, unfolding before me in slow motion, I felt like I could see the depths of her soul and a sweetness that captured my imagination. I wanted to envelop her and all the sensations that were bombarding me.

I chastised myself, realizing I was seriously crushing on a woman whom I still somehow believed was someone else’s wife. The conflicts in my mind were driving me to distraction. I struggled for composure.

“Hi, Ben.”

Was that angels singing?

“Laura. You’re just in time for a debate about favorite TV shows!” My voice cracked a little in a failed attempt to stay cool.

“Girls, are you driving Mr. Ben nuts with girl talk?”

“Mom!” Hanna whined. “Mr. Ben is fun to talk to!”

“Misser Ben is fun!” Mattie parroted.

“Well, Mr. Ben, I was just coming out to see if the girls would like some lemonade on this hot day.”

Hanna gave a dramatic “Yeah” as if she’d been wandering in the desert for days without water. Mattie jumped up and down repeating “Yes…yes…yes” with every leap.

Hanna looked at Laura all excited. “Can Mr. Ben have some too?”

Laura looked at me and smiled. I heard harps playing and I was melting into a puddle.

“Mr. Ben, would you like to join us?”

“Sure,” I blurted out as I tried to curb my enthusiasm and all the other sensations I was both fighting to control.

“Great! I’ll bring it out to the back patio. There’s a cool spot in the shade. It will be nice to talk with you a little, Ben. We live so close, but we haven’t really had a chance to chat. Girls, why don’t you show Mr. Ben where we’re headed, and I’ll go get the glasses.”

I heard the ‘Hallelujah Chorus’ in my mind. What was happening to me? I was trying to gather my composure while hoping to remember my manners.

“Can I help you?”

“Aw, thanks for your offer. I’m good. There’s not much to carry and I think the girls would love you to go with them.” She smiled and quickly turned. Before I could think, she was gone and two giggling little beauties each grabbed one of my hands and started to pull me to our destination.