From her second cup on Ruyi was a different person. Her head felt tingly warm, and the tightness in her chest didn’t hurt as much anymore and breathing felt easy again. She laughed and said things she later wouldn’t remember, but they seemed to please the warriors, who laughed too. She would remember their faces, but not their names; they introduced themselves to her—the ones nearest her at the table, anyways—but the words slipped right out of her head.

“More!” cried Ruyi, giggling.

They were still there when all the other tables had emptied out.

When Ruyi tried to down another glass, she found her hand empty. Sabina had taken her cup. Ruyi frowned mightily at her.

“Give it here,” she slurred.

“You have had enough,” said Sabina. “I love your passion! It is a great thing. You have been suppressing it. Bad Ru-yi! You should love life, always. But..”

She tapped Ruyi on the chest, where her heart was, and Ruyi had wondered if she was asking Ruyi to kiss her, with all this talk of suppressing and passion. Ruyi decided she had to be. She leaned in, but Sabina held her off, laughing.

“No more drink for you,” she said. “Passion is good. But you must keep your balance.”

She thought Ruyi was going for the glass! She patted Ruyi on the head, and Ruyi pouted at her, and she pinched Ruyi on the cheeks. “You are adorable.” She brightened. “Lullula!”

The warriors laughed. Ruyi couldn’t get redder if she tried. “Heh?”

“That will be your warrior’s name!” Sabina thumped her chest. “Each of us has one. It is tradition—all who join us are given a new name. It says who we are. Mine is ‘Bellator Laetus’—‘The Happy Warrior.’ Rufus there, who you fought, is ‘Fist of the Setting Sun!’ He loves his fists, as you felt. Fausta is ‘Umbra Silens’—Silent Shadow. A blank-faced girl nodded.”

“And I’m… ‘Lullula’?”

Sabina grinned. “‘Chubby!’”

Ruyi’s mouth fell open. Then she was instantly furious.

“Excuse me?!”

She felt so stupid for trusting Sabina. Was this all some kind of elaborate hoax? Everyone gather ‘round to make fun of stupid Ruyi? In the back of her mind she’d always suspected it was, even from the start—

“No, no!” Sabina tapped Ruyi on the temple. “You read it as an insult! You needn’t do that. It is what makes you unique. That is beautiful.”

“… Excuse me?” said Ruyi again, baffled.

“You are chubby,” said Sabina matter-of-factly. “Are you not?”

“…I guess…”

“There you go!” Sabina ruffled Ruyi’s hair happily. “But I don’t want to be chubby,” mumbled Ruyi. “I want to be beautiful.”

“Bleh,” said Sabina. “You must think better of yourself. You are chubby, and you are beautiful.”

“You think I’m pretty?” said Ruyi suddenly, perking up.

“Of course!”

“Very beautiful,” said a man across the table. Faustus the Silent Shadow nodded.

“But… that healer boy didn’t think so.”

“Who?” said Sabina.

“I don’t know his name. He was very pretty—Livia’s brother, I think?”

“Ahh,” said Sabina knowingly. “Pay Titus no mind, he is an ass.”

“Okay,” said Ruyi. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she found herself feeling all warm now. She liked being here—she liked being with them. Maybe it was how clear and blunt they all were. They had a different way of caring, but she felt she was slowly getting used to it.

“Is that why you have been eating like a mouse tonight?” said Sabina.

Ruyi flushed. “Um. I thought maybe I’d just, y’know, get a little more in shape—”

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Sabina flicked her on the side of the head. It kind of hurt but Ruyi liked it. “Never mold yourself to please others! That is weakness.” she said.

As far as Ruyi could tell her whole life had been one big exercise in molding herself to please others, so it was rather mortifying to hear Sabina say that.

Sabina handed Ruyi a glass. “Be who you are, Ru-yi Yang, and proud of it! Promise me!”

“Okay!”

“Let us drink to this.”

They did, and laughed.

“Lullula,” said Ruyi, burping a little. “I’m Lullula!”

“That’s right!” said Sabina.

They cheered for her, and she cheered too, and that night she ate so many slabs of meat she felt she might explode.

***

Late in the night, the warriors finished their feasting and trickled off. Most of them went off in pairs, and by the way they were looking at each other it was clear what they were off to do. Ruyi wondered if every one of them had a mate, or if they chose whoever they felt like on the day. Ruyi went off with Sabina. Sabina seemed a very touchy person, which was lucky, since Ruyi was too—she didn’t mind Ruyi clinging onto her arm like a barnacle. Ruyi was quite grateful for how little clothes they wore here compared to what she was used to.

They walked alone, Sabina cheerfully going on, Ruyi just listening, sighing, feeling content. Ruyi was spent, but somehow Sabina seemed as energetic as when they met this morning.

“That’s my tent,” said Sabina, pointing. They were alone together, just the two of them. It was late. They stopped. It was kind of romantic, wasn’t it? Ruyi looked up at her, at her pretty regal features light up bright in the moonlight, and swooned a little. She got up on her tiptoes—

“You’re late.”

Ruyi jerked away. A man had emerged from the tent Sabina had said was hers. The pretty boy shaman! What was he doing there? Ruyi had just started growling at him when she felt Sabina’s arm vanish under her, and she fell facefirst into the snow.

When she looked up, it took her a second to process what she was seeing.

Sabina was kissing him. And it wasn’t at all like how Sabina had kissed Ruyi. This made that look like a businessman’s handshake. She was kissing Titus so ferociously, so passionately, Ruyi could nearly feel the heat of it from here.

They broke apart after what felt like an hour.

Finally Sabina seemed to remember Ruyi’s existence.

“Ru-yi?” she said. “What are you doing on the ground?”

Ruyi picked herself up. “You’re…” she croaked. She couldn’t even finish the thought.

“This is my mate Titus!” said Sabina, beaming. How could she smile at a time like this? “Isn’t he beautiful? Titus, say hello.”

Ruyi wanted to crawl into a ditch and decompose.

“I’ve been waiting for you since midnight,” said Titus. He sounded incredibly whiny to Ruyi.

“Shh,” said Sabina, ruffling his hair, and Ruyi felt something flip in her belly. It was the wounds, probably. “You will have me, you rogue. But first you must apologize to Ru-yi for being so cruel to her.”

“Cruel? Hardly,” scoffed Titus.

“You will treat our guest with respect,” said Sabina. She flicked Titus on the head. Ruyi’s belly was doing the thing again. How could she flick Titus on the head? That was supposed to be their thing. It wasn’t okay.

“That’s not necessary,” Ruyi got out, strangled. “Goodnight!”

***

Ruyi spent a few hours flopping around being devastated before she fell asleep. When she woke up, other than a few pangs, she felt strangely alright about the whole situation. Her being at the tribe, that was—she was very much not over the Sabina-Titus situation, but at least she liked it here. At least they liked her here, or so she gathered. Maybe she could stay here, at least for now until she figured herself out…

In a way last night was good for her. Most of the time she felt like she went through life running facefirst into her own mistakes. At least this time she got a reminder. She was far too prone to falling in love. Well—maybe not love, the way she loved Jin and Mother and even Tingting and Sen, but the easier, earlier kind of love. Giddy love. Maybe she liked being in love, and being loved, more than she actually liked what she was loving. She wasn’t in love with this Frigus Tribe. She kind of thought she was at first, but she had these thoughts a lot. It was hard to tell sometimes if she was in love with someone or if she just wanted to be held by anyone. She could probably convince herself to fall in love with anyone if they were nice to her; she had to be aware of that. She wasn’t okay being alone.

So—she went into it feeling clear-eyed. She liked their bluntness, and how they weren’t afraid of their feelings, and how nice they were to her. She also didn’t like all those things, now that she thought about it…

Anyways she figured she felt as warm as she’d felt in a while here, and that was good enough for her.

When Livia came for her at sunrise, she’d made up her mind. She wasn’t firm on it; she still felt quite scared, but she was decided.

***

She’d imagined they’d hold a big ceremony for her. Maybe gather the whole tribe, and have them do some kind of big prayer in her honor, and maybe there would be a tribe-wide dance and feast.

When she asked Drusila about this, she was somewhat mortified to find she had somewhat overestimated her own importance. In the end it was Drusila, Livia, Titus, Sabina, and Tyrus the Lorekeeper, along with their Chief Brewer—their version of an Alchemist—and Chief Blacksmith—their version of an Artificer. They stood at the edges of a summoning circle of sorts; it was marked out by incense sticks. The air was deliciously smoky.

Drusila said some ancient rites in an old tongue. She asked Ruyi to repeat them. They meant that Ruyi was a creature of the Ice. She bound her heart to theirs by the cold, unyielding, steadfast, and true. She was a glacier amid melting streams. From this day forth her veins ran with frost, not blood. She pledged it by her spirit and her honor.

Then they had her take a drink. She got excited for no reason; she thought it was wine, but it was something like the opposite of wine. It was like the freshest, clearest water she’d ever tasted—like it had been ice just seconds before, and it brought a shocking clarity to her mind. Then they all broke into smiles. They welcomed her, and Drusila stepped forward and gave her a big hug, and she was happy.