What do you wish for in life?
To be free from my own suffering.
Why do you seek that impossible dream?
All my life, I've been exploited by the people whom I call family and friends. I couldn't seek respite and freedom no matter how hard I tried to earn them.
Do you feel it's your fault for living a life of despair?
I felt it was my fault. I made the wrong choices. I would have left my family early. I would have chosen the right people to support me. Now I had nothing. No aspirations. No hopes. Nothing to push me to keep living.
Do you wish to end it all?
...I was. But you gave me another reason to live.
You erased me.
And what did I erase?
Everything.
Without my "colleagues", they couldn't exploit my dreams and talents.
Without my "boss", I do not owe him unnecessary favors.
Without a "job", I do not have a reason to stay.
Without my "friends", no one will drag me down to despair.
Without a home, I am free from my self-inflicted prison.
Without my family, I would not exist in that dreadful world.
Without my humanity, I am free from my thoughts of despair and the darkness of my current outlook.
Finally, how do I erase everything about yourself?
I am free.
I have no reason to hate myself from my now non-existent past.
In this new world, I will become whoever I want and whatever I want to be with my new identity.
Your freedom has a price. Because of your repressed emotions from years of despair, you will suffer eternal life without individuality. Even if you desire solitude, you will never become one.
Does it matter? This is a small price to pay for escaping my despair.
I have no reason to cling to appearances and reputation.
Dr. Jekyll split his good and evil in the struggle between his well-mannered gentleman and evil monster. But because he believed in repressing his dark vices and keeping his reputation, he lost control of Mr. Hyde.
However, I have no intentions of repressing my other self. The new world is much more crueler than my forgotten past. I have no intentions to be involved in politics.
But if anyone dares to threaten us and my allies, I will let him run wild. We will show our enemies why you shouldn't cross us.
...I have heard your resolve.
Now, is there something you want before you return to the realm of consciousness?
...
I want a do-over.
I refuse to wallow in my self-doubt and despair any longer. I want to stop the voices that doubt everything I know.
Then tell me... Recall that day. What do you want to change to erase your despair?
To meet with her again. The weird girl who always invited me to a dark shop. The girl who would make me smile away from the darkness of my life.
And the moment I was forced to part with her because of my parents...
My life became worse...
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"Monster brat! Monster brat!"
"Awww... Is the monster brat crying right now? If you're in pain right now, why don't you start spewing out fire like a dragon? I heard from Dad that dragons always horde all of their treasure. Maybe we should call you "dragon brat" since you have a habit of horde all of the lunch we wanted."
I could hear them cackle while I huddled in the corner. This always happened at elementary. The boys would keep pestering me about my lunch and when I refused, they kept beating me until I gave them up. Because of them, I always go hungry and they often leave me with a piece of bread and rice while they enjoy my mother's cooking. It didn't matter to her whenever I told my Mom about it, thinking I didn't like the food she cooked.
That was the life I was living as a boy. Being harassed during classes, leaving bugs and mean messages on my desk, stealing my lunch... It was even worse when my siblings joined in with the bullies on the weekends. No matter what I do or what I say, nothing has changed even after elementary. I couldn't escape my bullies even if I hid them behind my books.
But one day, I tried running away from them after school.
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"Hey! Stop running, you monster brat!"
I gasped as I kept running away from my bullies. I already gave them lunch. Why were they still chasing me?!
"Get back here! We haven't got some chocolate from you yet!"
I'm sick of running. I just want to be alone!
I need to hide. There were many buildings I could hide, but which one?
"Over here."
Huh? Who's that?
"Hide here."
That sounded like a girl's voice. It's coming from that small shop on my right. I don't know who was calling me, but it's better than being caught by those jerkwads. I quickly rushed inside and hid behind the counter. I waited for a few seconds as I heard their voices again.
"Huh? Where did he go?"
"I think he went that way."
Already!? I shouldn't stay here any longer. I need to...
Huh?!
Before I could leave, someone grabbed my mouth and dragged me back under the counter.
"Shhh... Stay still. They will leave if you keep quiet."
This was the same voice who guided me here. I shouldn't listen to strangers. But what choice do I have now? It's her or my bullies. I took a deep breath and tried not to utter a single word.
"Man, we can't find him anywhere!"
"Forget about him. We should head back before our parents yell at us for going home late."
I could hear their footsteps fading. She was right. They left without knowing I was hiding here. I let out a sigh of relief that they were gone for now.
"Thanks for saving my neck back there and sorry for dragging you in my mess."
But when I turned around, I gasped to see that my savior was nothing more than a young girl. She has long black hair along with a matching black dress and shoes. I didn't expect someone like her to save me. She looked weird with her glowing purple eyes, but her smile seemed to be real and she didn't seem like the bullies back there.
"It's okay. After seeing you running away from those mean boys, I knew I needed to do something to help." She then stretched out her hand to me. "My name is Umbaria. What about you?"
Umbaria? What a weird name. But I don't know if I should trust her or tell her my name.
"Oh, sorry about that. It's rude for me to ask your name when we first met," the girl suddenly said while putting down her hand. "But I don't think you should leave yet."
"Why not? They're already gone and I doubt they're going back because of their parents," I reminded. "Not to mention, my parents expected me to go home after school."
Just as I got up to leave, I noticed her pouting at me. "Do you have to listen to your parents all the time? It's still 4 PM and they might still be busy with work."
She's right. I get it's still early. But...
"If I don't, my parents will be mad at me." Suddenly, Umbaria laughed as if I was a joke. "What's so funny? I'm serious about my parents! Something bad will happen if I disobey them."
"So what? You're a kid just like me. Don't you need to play with others for a while? I doubt your parents will be mad if you have a playdate with me."
A-A playdate?! I don't know what to say. But at the same time, she seemed to be alone for a while. I don't know if this was her home or not, but I couldn't have the heart to abandon her like this.
"Y-You have a point. How about we'll play for a while? But only until 5 PM, okay?"
"Deal!"
She suddenly ran to a shelf nearby and grabbed a few papers from it.
"So... What are we playing anyway?"
The girl grinned. "We'll play shop! We'll be the ones selling some stuff to turn this place into the bestest shop ever!"
"Uh... Okay? But shouldn't we decide who will play as a customer? I think you should be one."
You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.
"No way! If I do that, then I'm the only one who will buy all of the stuff!"
I raised my eyebrow. "Then why not both of us take turns being customers?"
"Then it defeats the point of a shop!"
That didn't make sense to me at all. What kind of game was this if one of us won't play as a customer?
"Don't worry! I will show you how it's done. Just trust me!"
Before I say anything else, Umbaria grabbed my wrist and started dragging me into the backrooms to show me the "shop" we were going to play in. I was still confused after meeting this weird girl. But something about her made me feel my heart grow...lighter. She was pushy when it came to her "game". But at the same time, I never smiled this long for a while now.
I didn't know that time. But this is the first time I tasted true freedom. The first time I played with a friend and the first time I didn't cover my ears from my family and bullies' attempts to break down my confidence and trust in others.
It's because of her that made me open my eyes to the hope I thought it would be impossible to reach.
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"Welcome to Aster and Umbaria's Lot-of-Stuff Shop!"
"Lots...of stuff?" I raise my eyebrow at the ridiculous name she gave for this game.
"Yep! I don't know what kind of stuff are we going to buy for our shop, so I'm going with all of them." Umbaria then pouted at me. "You don't mind, do you?"
"U-Uh... Sure..." I stammered, seeing that she might have a point there. "But why "Aster"? You do realize that I have a real name, you know."
"Yeah. But "Aster" sounds better to you. You deserve a better name for this game! And you can't change my mind about it!"
She might probably cry if I try to do so. Besides, she might be right. I think that name sounded better to me. It reminds me of those cool fantasy heroes from those anime and manga I saw back home.
"Alright... If you say so..." I cleared my throat. "From now on, I am Aster, one of the owners of this shop!"
"Awesome! So it's decided! I'm going to man the cashier and you will be the bodyguard!" She declared.
"No fair! I want to take care of the money! You might spend it for candy or something."
"Hey! I am not! I only spend it on the stuff and snacks!"
"That also means you're going to buy snacks, aren't you?"
"Ooh...! You're so mean!"
I chuckled as we continued playing shop. It's not what I imagined, but I had fun playing with Umbaria until I went home before nighttime.
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After our first meeting, I started visiting Umbaria at the old shop every day after school. Thanks to her, I managed to avoid my bullies every visit, and in return, I saved some of my snacks for us to share before we played. And as we continued playing every day, Umbaria introduced some stuff that seemed weird, but enough to shake things up enough for us to never get bored.
"So... You're saying that I will get better rewards if I raise my "stats"?" I stared at the paper with a few words Umbaria wrote with a crayon.
> [Aster]
>
> [Level] 1
>
> [STR] 3
>
> [HEAL] 2
>
> [INT] 8
>
> [WIS] 4
>
> [LUK] 10
"Yep! The more stuff you buy, the more stats you will get as payment instead of money!" Umbaria explained. "Just think of it as part of a video game! I don't want to leave you with nothing and I want to spice up this game even more!"
"Yeah. But what can I use with my Strength and Health in a game of shop?" I asked.
"Then... We might introduce some monsters trying to destroy the shop! You're the bodyguard after all!"
"Seriously?! Are you trying to make this shop better or worse?!"
Umbaria started laughing in response. I'm not amused at first. But I eventually joined in after realizing it's funny for me, too.
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While we weren't paid with real money because we're only pretending to have a shop, we tend to use sweets as payment because we want to.
"Awww... Nuts again?" I pouted when she gave me chocolate candy.
"Sorry. But that's what our latest customer paid with earlier," Umbaria sheepishly answered. "You can have my double citrus blast hard candy if you're allergic."
"I'm not, but thanks for the offer." We exchanged some candy and started eating them. "Still, we sold a lot of items today. We even got some candy, too. I could eat chocolate all day."
"I agree. But you might get sick if you eat too many."
I chuckled. "Is that a challenge?"
"Yep! But seriously, don't eat too many. I don't want you to barf all of our items."
"Ugh! I don't want that!"
Both of us laughed as we continued enjoying our "hard-earned" candy.
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While it wasn't enough to change my life with my family and school, Umbaria was always there to cheer me up whenever I was down from my bullies and homework. She even made some new rules and customers just to make me smile again.
"Argh! How dare you call me a criminal?!" Umbaria shouted in an adult man's voice. "That's it! I'm going to rip this shop bit by bit!"
I look at her unamused by her poor impression. "Is the voice really necessary?"
"Probably not. But you need someone to fight, right? I even got you a sandbag for you to punch with." She then took out the said item, which had a near-perfect drawing of one of my bullies' faces. "Is it punchable enough for you?"
I sighed. I have to admit, it's not like one of them. But it's the thought that counts. Besides, his face was enough for me to throw a punch at it.
"Yep. It's perfect," I said as I cracked my knuckles with a grin. "As for you, it's time for you to go. You mess with our shop, you're messing with me."
I began punching the sandbag as hard as I could. Honestly, this wasn't the relief I was looking for. But I was grateful Umbaria did all of this to cheer me up again.
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Eventually, months had passed. I didn't miss every visit with Umbaria every day. I even visited her during the weekend when my parents weren't looking. The more I played with her, the more I smiled away from my troubles. It's thanks to her that I didn't have a shitty childhood than I expected. I wish it could last forever.
But it all changed that one rainy day...
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"You're leaving?!"
Unlike before, Umbaria nodded with a frown on her face. "I really want to stay here and play with you a bit longer, Aster. But I have to go somewhere very important. I'm so sorry..."
No... This wasn't fair... I already had a friend and now, she was leaving?! I...I couldn't let her...
"Can't you convince your parents not to leave?! This is a good city and y-you can try moving near my apartment!" I begged. "P-Please... Don't leave me alone again..."
Umbaria smiled in sorrow as she patted my head. "I won't. I promise. That's why I'm leaving this shop to you."
My eyes widened and my jaw dropped at her last sentence. "T-The shop... G-Given to me...?"
Umbaria nodded and said, "It would be too sad if I left it without an owner to take care of it. And since you're my trusted partner, I know this shop will be in your capable hands."
I started to tear up over what she just said to me. "W-Why are you keep insisting on playing this game, Umbra?! You're going far away from me and I will never see you again! How can you be so calm about this?! Aren't you crying that this is the last time we play shop forever?!"
In my attempt to let her stay, I shook her shoulders vigorously. I tried not to let her go from my arms. I did everything to convince her otherwise. But deep in my heart, I know I shouldn't force her to turn back her wishes in exchange for my companionship. Just as I continued to shake her, she grabbed my wrists and gently put down my arms.
"I am sad that our time together is over. But it's not like I'm going to leave you here to go back to your dreadful life. You deserved a better life than this."
She then placed some kind of paper on the counter. It was written in crayon and it looked like one of those permission slips Mom and Dad always sign before my field trips. When I read what it said on the paper, I gasped in shock.
> CONTRACT
>
> In exchange for my current identity, I, Aster, will inherit the shop from Umbaria. I promise to take care of this shop for Umbaria's sake.
"A...contract?" I read out loud.
"Yeah. It's sort of like how we buy and sell at the shop. It's not that big of a price, though. It's a way for you to get away from your life of bullies and bad parents," Umbaria explained. "Although, there are some negatives you may encounter. But it's a better gift than nothing."
"N-Negative how?" She suddenly grew quiet when I asked that question. "U-Umbaria?"
She then sighed and said, "If you sign the contract, you will never go back to the way you were. Your real name, your personality, and your existence in this world... The moment you write your name on that paper, everything about you will disappear like dust. It cannot recover by any means and who knows what you will become afterward. But it is a better fate than living in the world of despair." After that, she placed a crayon next to the paper. "However, it's not my decision for you to sign it. The choices you make are up to you. Will you risk the consequences that bear this contract or will you remain in your haven of despair?"
I didn't know what to say. I understand half of it, but I'm scared of what would happen to me if I signed the contract. If what she said was true, I might have had a better life than running away from my bullies and not being yelled at by my parents. But if I accept it, then everything about me...would disappear...
What kind of deal was that?! Am I going to risk myself so I can get away from everything?! I wanted to get away, but not like this. Not when I'm forced out of my home and my family.
I don't know what's right or wrong at this point.
"Umbaria... I-I can't..."
"THERE YOU ARE!!!"
My eyes widened again. That voice... It couldn't be...
"I can't believe it! You're supposed to go home early and do your homework! Instead, you're playing around in this...dump!"
I didn't want to turn around. Those were my parents... But how did they find this place?! I tried to keep my head down below the counter. Maybe they won't find me if I stay...
"I. FOUND. YOU."
Someone suddenly grabbed my hair and yanked me to the shoes that I recognized from my parents. I looked behind me and saw two of my bullies grinning as if they were innocent angels.
"As promised, your son is a-okay!" One of the bullies declared as if he didn't do wrong to me. "It took a while. But we tracked him down after school and told you everything."
No... They followed me?!
"Thank you. We wouldn't be able to find him if it wasn't for your hard work." My Dad then glared at me as he grabbed my arm. "Do you know how worried we were?! Your grades are going down lately and we're not letting you procrastinate in this dirty pigsty!"
"B-But... I need to stay longer! U-Umbaria is about to move out!" I begged while struggling out of my father's grip. "No! No! Let me play with her one more time!"
"What the hell are you talking about? You're the only one who's been hiding in this rubble," my mother answered. "But don't worry. We already contacted the contractors and they will be demolishing this hellhole starting tomorrow. You should stop playing with your stupid imaginary friend and focus on your studies for once!"
I could hear my bullies laughing at me while Dad tried to pull me away from the counter. "No! I won't! I don't want to be away from her!" I begged. "Umbaria! Please! Say something! Umbaria!"
I looked at the counter and to my relief, she was behind it. She was frowning and yet, she stood there like a statue.
"U-Umbaria?! Please! Say something! Umbaria!"
But she did say something. But to my shock, it wasn't what I expected.
"I hope we will meet again, Aster."
"No..." I muttered. "No, no, no, NO!!!"
But then, my grip on the counter was released by accident. My Dad grabbed my whole body and dragged me away while my laughing bullies and mother walked away from a building we called "our shop".
"UMBARIA!!!!"
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For the next two days, I was imprisoned in my room under the excuse of "disciplinary action". I couldn't go to school or play with my video games since they confiscated all of them. I could do nothing but study and do my homework as they asked. Yet, I still wondered if my meetings with Umbaria were real or not. My parents and siblings told me they didn't know a girl with that name nor know one playing in that abandoned building. But I knew she was real. I could touch her, and share snacks together. There was no way she was my imaginary friend. Yet, no one would believe me. Even if I tried to convince them, it would end up the same bullying and shouting as usual.
Once I was allowed to go back to school again, I tried going back to that building where we played.
But in the end, I was too late.
The whole thing was reduced to rubble and Umbaria was nowhere to be seen.
I forgot everything related to her after elementary. As soon as she was gone, my life became worse.
My parents grew neglectful because of my more successful siblings. The bullying didn't stop. And I found myself in an exploitation company to work for.
After that, I was transported into another world where the god threw me away like trash.
If only I accepted that "contract"...
If only I stayed with her a bit longer...
If only I took her "games" more seriously...
I don't care about my name anymore. I would give everything up to see you again.
So please, Umbaria...
Please... Come back and play with me one more time.
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Oh, how long have I waited for you to utter those words, my bodyguard...